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ZorajitZorajit
Sep 15, 2013

No static at all...
It was better than Valerian.

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ZorajitZorajit
Sep 15, 2013

No static at all...
I think this is going to be my favorite "How would I fix it" hypothetical to talk about at the bar now. So there's that.

ZorajitZorajit
Sep 15, 2013

No static at all...

Indubitable Leg posted:

So the AV Club wrote up a pretty thorough take down, laying the majority of the blame with Akiva Goldsman. My favorite part from the article:

Pretty much surmises everything that was wrong with The Dark Tower. My friend tried to argue that the themes of fatherly loss were deep and engrossing, while I was gnashing my teeth at the fact of how they turned Roland's Tower obsession into ennui.

It's a fair write up of Goldman's questionable filmography but I'd take issue with the continued insistence on ripping into Batman & Robin. That movie deserves some re-evaluation as a camp piece and the gay interpretation of the characters courtesy Schumaker. It's an intentional film, which the usual critiques miss either absently or willfully.

ZorajitZorajit
Sep 15, 2013

No static at all...
Stephen King magnetic poetry

ZorajitZorajit
Sep 15, 2013

No static at all...

Blazing Ownager posted:

I think once you get a story that's more than like 3 books (esp 9 books) it's time to stop with the movie aspirations - It's worked precisely ONCE with Harry Potter and that's it - and start looking for Netflix, HBO, Starz, etc. to make it into a series.

DOUBLY so if you plan to cram it all into one movie.

ED: The thing I find funniest about all this is studios are killing each other trying to FORCE cinematic universes, and then they get a story that's all about a mega shared universe and they try to cram it into a single unshared movie. With a little more careful planning they could have spread Dark Tower out with a whole line of King movies that are connected but nope.

Structurally, cinema has more in common with short stories than it does with novels. Novels are sprawling things that talk about all sorts of stuff, but well executed short stories have a thesis (or not) and do just that.

The Gunslinger would have worked as a movie, because its basically an inflated short story. It has very few characters and is pretty much just a collection of scenes.

Prestige Format television is so in right now, I have to believe that The Dark Tower got a rush job for licencing reasons, at least in part.

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ZorajitZorajit
Sep 15, 2013

No static at all...
I think I get why Goldsman continues to be employed on projects as high profile as those he's had a turn at. He makes things that, on paper, look presentable. I, Robot (or the script it was before the studio found out it had a random Asimov license kicking around), I am Legend, and now Dark Tower were all well known but also known for being full of weird ideas. So if you're speculating on movies to back, the Goldsman comes to you with a treatment for a a AAA property and a script that turns it into something that can run on TBS for my parents after its theater run.

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