ManMythLegend posted:

Suddenly, Caro bursts through the door firing a rusty AK blindly into the skyline outside. "I suppressed the snipers, get him behind cover!" he shouts to the lunch time crowd.

He rolls behind the counter of the Taco Bell frantically tweeting: "Langley, I'm burning cover. I've got to use the advanced YouTube techniques to save ElMal. Need immediate extract."

He unpacks the filthy Swiss Army knife from his 511 tac pants along with some gauze and ace bandages. Working swiftly he starts to dig the bullets from the weabo's body. "Someone hold my camera, I need this for my channel!"