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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Need some horse advice!
 
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Impkins Patootie

phallocentriloquist posted:

always have apples on hand in case a horse wants a tasty treat, this will only solidify your position as horsefriend.

don't mention mr. ed: his is a tale that many horses look down upon with disgust. he basically sold his soul in order to reach unheard of heights in show biz.

The Rolling Stones wrote a song called "Wild Horses" and some of the lyrics are "wild horses couldn't drag me away." if you ever sing or recite this song, alter the lyrics to reflect that wild horses could indeed drag you away.

when talking of engine capabilities, "horse" power is insulting, implying that the engine is capable of functioning more efficiently than hundreds or sometimes thousands of horses. instead of horsepower you should say "cat power." for example, my Ferrari has more than 65,700 cat power.

don't make jokes about long faces unless they are about barnacle jim.

good luck horsefriend!

gently caress my rear end has a Dodge Challenger SRT H*ckcat that has 666,666 caterwauling pusses under da hood and has been banned by NHRA, the SPCA, and the FDA for being too :radcat:

* # ¿ May 25, 2017 23:36
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# ¿ May 1, 2024 11:59
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Impkins Patootie





 i heard the H*ckcat at wide open throttle sounds like being front row at a sigur ros concert in front of an erupting volcano - the sound is that of 666,666 warmed over screaming cats out of h*ck

* # ¿ May 25, 2017 23:43
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Impkins Patootie

phallocentriloquist posted:

drat listen to them pussies holler! full bore screaming kitty haulin and truckin gently caress a horse shove these cats in your rear end! yee haw precious cat powers are the life force of America

U can aspire to be The Cat's rear end (i kno i do) but please please please do not attempt to literally shove a cat up ur rear end, thank you. :minnie:

*calls Dodge dealership to schedule an appt for oil change*

"Uhh Sir, im afraid we cant help u with that u are gonna have to find a dairy because ur cat engine requires warm unpasteurized guernsey milk not oil...pls refer to page 6-66 of the owners manual you were given when u signed and toke delivery"







*literally buys the farm*

:radcat:

Impkins Patootie fucked around with this message at 01:55 on May 27, 2017
* # ¿ May 27, 2017 01:48
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Need some horse advice!