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TOO LATE, THIS IS OVER NOW! 2017 Ben Roethlisberger Football Douchebag of the Year: Dean Spanos and the Spanos Family 2017 Inductee into the Dan Snyder Memorial Douchievement Award of Excellence Hall of Fame: Penn State Fans Hi TFF Goons, it's that time of year again! Actual Football is still months away, the draft is long past, the frenzy of free agency trading is done, and now it is time to get together and decide in an extremely scientific and highly fair way which person and/or organization was the biggest loving douchebag of the last year. In prior years, BenHasTinyWeenus ran this thing. Last year he solicited help and like an idiot I volunteered, and so when he disappeared (possibly consumed by his very smart idea of getting married and opening his own restaurant at the same time) I sort of inherited the responsibility. OK, whatever, I am a "details oriented" kind of guy and I just loving love to make spreadsheets and abuse petty authority, so now I'm in charge and you will all do as I say. Your Douchebag 2016 champion: BAYLOR UNIVERSITY  Here is last year's tournament bracket:  The rules In accordance with established tradition, we will first have a period of nominations. eNOMINATIONS FOR DotY ARE NOW OVER. Anygoon can make any number of nominations, and in addition, you should post to "second" other goons' nominations. After the nomination period, I will build a tournament bracket consisting of the nominations that got the most "seconds." Unlike previous years, I will not specifically limit the contest to a 32-member bracket. Instead I'll make a reasonable decision about where the cutoff should be and build a bracket that works. That may mean we have some wildcard spots if we don't get a power of 2 number of nominations, but that's cool and fine. Eligibility Eligible nominees must be a person or group of people that meet these three criteria: #1: Football The nominee must be related to the sport of American Football in some reasonably direct way. #2: Douchebag The nominee must be douchebaggy. Douchebaggery is broadly defined by the thread consensus via voting, so I prefer not to try to spell out too specifically what the term means. However, by consensus we exclude from consideration crimes for which there was a conviction in a court of law. I'll go ahead and add anyone who has been charged with a crime for which trial is still pending, and anyone who engaged in severely gross behavior that we really need to avoid having some kind of terrible "debate" about, such as the Paterno/Sandusky thing. Please also recognize that we're doing this for fun and not to have a debate about for example what exactly constitutes consent for purposes of determining if a rape took place. That said, a certain amount of discussion about where to draw the line is OK, as long as it doesn't become a derail or start resulting in probations. #3: Of the Year The nominee must have done the douchebaggy thing during the period of May 19, 2016 through May 18, 2017. It's OK if they did douchebaggy things before or since, but you have to be able to call out douchebaggery that occurred during that period. #4: Not a member of the hall of fame Last year there was no Dan Snyder Memorial Douchievement Award of Excellence contest, probably because Ben intended to do it later and then I never did it. We'll rectify that this year, but anyway here are the members of the Douchebag Hall of Fame:
Special contest: Dan Snyder Memorial Douchievement Award of Excellence We missed it last year but we won't this year. Entirely separately from the Douchebag of the Year tournament, we will have a straight vote for a new inductee into the Douchebag Hall of Fame; think of it as a sort of Lifetime Achievement Award for douchebags. e NOMINATIONS FOR LIFETIME DOUCHIEVEMENT ARE STILL OPEN Eligibility for the Hall of Fame follows exactly the same rules as for the Douchebag of the Year, but with the following exception: Douchebaggery not limited to the last calendar year. Any football-related douchebag acts of the past may be considered. You can nominate some 1950s football douchebag if you want. Nominations and seconds will run for the entire thread, including during voting for the tournament brackets. I'll close nominations shortly after we name the Douchebag of the Year, and then we'll have our vote for the hall of fame. Hopefully this doesn't get too confusing. Only the top few nominees will be up for voting. Previously I think it's been four nominees. I'll let that be three or five or whatever if there is a clear cutoff between lots of seconds and a lot fewer seconds, but if there's no clear cutoff then it will be 4. How to Participate NOMINATIONS FOR DOTY ARE CLOSED, BUT NOMINATIONS FOR LIFETIME ARE STILL OPEN. To nominate a football douchebag (for either contest), you must at a bare minimum post in this thread: "Nomination," in BOLD. If you don't bold your post I might notice and count it, or I might not notice it and skip it, especially if it blends into the rest of the normal debate posts. Name of the douchebag or group of douchebags. Football Qualifications: how is this person or group related to football? Please don't just assume I know who this douchebag is. I especially don't know who most college football people are. Describe the Douchebaggery: you should post some convincing argument or at least link to one or more articles or something that explains how this person or group is such a douchebag. Even if you think everyone must already know, just write a sentence or two that specifically points to one or more acts that will qualify them for this contest. I need this info in order to post the tournament brackets so keep that in mind. To second a nomination (for either contest), make a post with the words "second" in bold and the name or names of whoever you are seconding. Merely emptyquoting someone else is not a vote or second. I will not attempt to interpret why you emptyquoted someone because it can signify disagreement or ridicule as well as agreement. Emptyquoting is also against the forums rules. If you totally agree with someone you can quote them and say (in bold) "seconded" or similar and I'll count that. Voting Rules Once we have all the nominations and the tournament begins, everyone will get to vote. VOTING HAS BEGUN HERE As usual, when the matches begin, I will paste player bios (written by you the voters or halfassed by me if there are non available) and let people vote on one match at a time every two or three days. You will pick your preferred douche and you should give the best argument that you can for why they should win over the other douche. Previously, Ben would weight peoples' votes on a scale of 1 to 5 depending on how much effort they put into their posts. Effortposts are great and important because they foster the debate that we should be having over who is the worst douchebag. However, the scale was pretty arbitrary and I found it hard to make rulings that I felt confident in. So this year I'm simplifying things thusly: If you just post a vote for a candidate, that's worth 1 point. If you make an effort to argue in favor or against a candidate along with your vote, that's worth 3 points. That's it, that's the whole thing. Merely quoting someone else's argument is still only worth 1 point. You have to add something to the discussion, whether that's doing some googling and posting something someone said online or a news article or some tweets, or just writing a couple of sentences explaining your opinion, I will credit you with 3 points. Furthermore unlike our former arbitrary tyrant BenHasTinyWeenus, I will post publicly how many points each vote got, so you can be sure that I am totally being fair. Here is the 2016 Douchebag Tracker Thread, which is a good source of reminders of douchebaggery that occurred over the last year. OK start your nominations.... now! 
Leperflesh fucked around with this message at 21:30 on Aug 11, 2017 |
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May 24, 2017 02:42
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Second post reserved for charts and graphs and so forth Vote tracking spreadsheet Voting on candidates for the Lifetime Achievement Awards begins here! Here is the the completed playoff bracket for Douche of the Year, 2017:  Here are the Douche Hall of Fame nominees as of August 3rd:  And here is the final voting results: 
Leperflesh fucked around with this message at 21:31 on Aug 11, 2017 |
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May 24, 2017 02:43
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Brent Musberger for trying to redeem Joe Mixon.
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May 24, 2017 03:05
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Colin Cowherd for Douche HoF. Guy couldn't stop saying stupid poo poo and eventually took out the entire Dominican Republican, which ironically is the kind of racism that qualifies you to work for Fox. Also, he said Sean Taylor was a gang banger and that's why he got shot. Even after it came out that it was a home invasion, he doubled down on his comments.
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May 24, 2017 03:11
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I'll second Cowherd for the lifetime achievement bracket. I nominate Dean Spanos for attempting to hold a city hostage, for screwing his first round draft pick for the pettiest poo poo in his contract, and for being Dean Spanos.
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May 24, 2017 03:16
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Tom Brady for publicly calling his own wife and family breadwinner a liar through a hired goon. Tom Brady for helping to inflict Trump upon us. Tom Brady for being an unrepentant cheater. Tom Brady for bringing joy to the wretched people of Boston.
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May 24, 2017 03:44
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iospace posted:Brent Musberger for trying to redeem Joe Mixon. Not to be the thread douchebag, but: Leperflesh posted:To nominate a football douchebag (for either contest), you must at a bare minimum post in this thread: I don't know who this guy is? These other guys also didn't really follow the rules but I knew who brady, spanos, and cowherd are.
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May 24, 2017 05:27
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Leperflesh posted:I don't know who this guy is? Which guy? Musberger or Mixon? I suppose either way, Brent Musberger who I'll go ahead and second was a long time football broadcaster (he retired this year) and kinda drunk old dad type. He's actually normally fairly likeable if you can get past stuff like creeping on women in the crowd--he would just not shut the hell up about AJ McCarron's girlfriend back when he was at Alabama. Joe Mixon is an Oklahoma football player who was drafted this year, he sat out his freshman season because he knocked a woman the gently caress out, breaking bones and generally really screwing her up. Video of this incident was finally released this year and it's pretty awful. Mixon never apologized until right before the bowl game for this incident, although he claims his lawyers wouldn't let him. Here's the first part of things: https://twitter.com/mikefinger/status/816117069859196928?ref_src=twsrc Later on in the game after things blew up on social media and someone told him he might want to restate that he basically doubled down.
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May 24, 2017 05:55
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I figure we are already going to have some obvious options like NCAA, Mark Emmert, Goodell, Kraft, Baylor, Penn State, Jimbo Fisher, Snyder, Rovell, Cowherd, SAS, etc, but it never hurts to list em. Ryan Pace for actively and visibly trying to blow this year's draft. Knowing that he was on his way out, Pace refused to resign a bunch of good existing players, traded away a lot of the team's future picks to move up one (ONE) spot (that wasn't under contention) to pick up an unproven rookie QB after signing a veteran to a long deal, and using three of his remaining four draft picks to select players from lower division teams. He won't win, but gently caress Pace. The Bennett Brothers (Martellus and Michael) for seeking out media outlets purely to talk poo poo on anyone they didn't like. It pretty quickly evolved from blowing off steam à la Dennis Rodman to simply being dicks for the sake of attention. They took being outspoken to douchey levels purely for the notoriety. Speaking of Michael Bennett, the Seahawks Defense has had a super douchey relationship with local media as of late. Richard Sherman threatened to ruin a reporter's career because he didn't appreciate the line of questions being asked. Bennett accused one reporter, who had survived cancer, of having never experienced adversity comparable to the game Bennett had just lost to the Falcons. As a Seattleite, my friends who interact with the team regularly have said that the D has become entitled as of late (while the offense is more or less unremarkable still). ESPN for paying top dollar to get rights to NFL broadcasts even though their revenue stream couldn't handle it. Massive layoffs were directly tied to the NFL and NBA packages recently negotiated. Facebook, Amazon, and Twitter for entering a bidding war for TNF games. Seriously, please kill off TNF so we don't have to complain about 4 days rest or watching the Cowboys lose again on national TV. Vontaze Burfict for once again being the dirtiest and douchiest player in the league. Toss in Pacman Jones (who was recently arrested again for assault and spitting on a nurse while in custody) and you have the two biggest dicks in the NFL ON THE SAME TEAM. Their douchebaggery cost their team a guaranteed playoff win last year. They also downplayed some of the worst hits in the game in the name of winning (which, again, they didn't). Dean Spanos for an infinite number of reasons holy poo poo I can't begin the list because it's so loving deep. Spanos is going to probably win so I'll leave this short. That's all for now. Leperflesh posted:I don't know who this guy is? Musberger is a sports caster who is mostly used in college football. He has done a lot of stupid poo poo in his career as of late, including objectifying AJ McCarron's fiancée on live TV and basically making it known that football is more important than... well, a lot. Most recently, he lauded Joe Mixon, an Oklahoma player penalized for punching a woman, for his return to glory and overcoming all of the bad times that had befallen him for, you know, punching a lady.
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May 24, 2017 05:57
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Leperflesh posted:Not to be the thread douchebag, but: Brent Musburger is a pretty famous college football announcer. You may remember him oggling AJ Mccarron's girlfriend on national television during the BCS Championship game. I'm not sure if I am pushing the boundaries of this, but I nominate Donald Trump for saying that the only reason teams haven't signed Colin Kaepernick was because they were afraid of a tweet from him. I believe his football credentials and his douchery this season have been amongst the most impactful. Hell, I am only pulling one football related comment and there are many more. He has gone from torpedoing the USFL to laying waste to my listening enjoyment. In closing, if he's good enough for the WWE Hall of Fame, he has more than earned the title of Football Douchebag of the Year.
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May 24, 2017 06:03
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Leperflesh posted:Not to be the thread douchebag, but: Whoops, my bad  And you're running it, so if I gently caress it up without properly reading the OP, that's on me. Thanks Grittybeard though!
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May 24, 2017 06:06
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I'll second Mark Emmert, President of the NCAA for the Hall of Fame. I don't want to look up everything he's done right now, but he's basically made a career out of being very douchy about college athletes receiving any benefits other than an education (which is even more significantly unfortunate if you were recruited to, say, North Carolina as an athlete). Grittybeard fucked around with this message at 06:13 on May 24, 2017 |
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May 24, 2017 06:08
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New England Patriots fans for playing the victim card while having Mr. Thomas Brady win them five (five!) Super Bowls. Jamie Horowitz for Lifetime Achievement in Douchbaggery for unleashing the Hot Take on the sports landscape, which effects all of us.
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May 24, 2017 06:14
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Grittybeard posted:I'll second Mark Emmert, President of the NCAA for the Hall of Fame. Seconded. I wrote a very detailed argument in last year's Hall of Fame thread, I believe. I will try to check archives for it after this dumb ER trip is over.
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May 24, 2017 06:32
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The Douche Tracker thread is kinda slim pickings this year, but a couple nominations from there: Dean Spanos: aperion posted:Just so no one forgets details months down the line: Trent Dilfer: seiferguy posted:Trent Dilfer (re: Kaep's protest): Also seconding Brent Musberger.
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May 24, 2017 08:17
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seconding tom brady. i was going to buy madden this year but i don't want to invite his his baby tantrum looking rear end into my home
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May 24, 2017 12:11
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I'm going to nominate Atlanta Falcons offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan, whose blundering playcalling gifted the Patriots their 5th Super Bowl. Then he tried to explain it away with the stupidest "We played that game the way we played the entire year" TEAM IDENTITY bullshit in the history of everything, and was promptly Fun fact: After the Falcons went up 28-3, Shanahan called a grand total of 5 running plays. In a game where Devonta Freeman was averaging 6.8 yards per attempt. Matt Ryan was snapping the ball with half the play clock left at a point in the game where the whole point was to burn time. It was like watching a reverse Andy Reid choke job, where instead of taking 6 minutes to do a 2 minute drill, they take no minutes to eat a sack and then rush to get the next play so they can get a holding penalty... that puts them entirely out of range for what just seconds ago was a chip shot field goal to ice the game. It was idiocy on a colossal scale, and his justification was the weakest of weak tea rear end covering WE STAYED ON THE ATTACK WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT?! coachspeak  bullshit.I'm glad the Falcons lost, but come on, what a dipshit that guy was. sean10mm fucked around with this message at 14:47 on May 24, 2017 |
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May 24, 2017 14:25
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Tom Brady for all the reasons mentioned, but also for skimming off the top of a local charity.
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May 24, 2017 15:21
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Bruce Allen for being a prick to a guy who was good at his job then drunk shaming him on the way out.
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May 24, 2017 15:35
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The Social Media Manager for the New England Patriots for publicly fellating Donald Trump on twitter and trying to downplay and silence the decisions of players to skip the WH visit because Trump sucks.
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May 24, 2017 15:45
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Seconding Dean Spanos, and Trent Dilfer. Dilfer lost his job, so he got his comeuppance. Also, Mark Davis for trying to act like a man of the people then screwing over Oakland and moving the Raiders to Vegas.
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May 24, 2017 16:36
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Grittybeard posted:Which guy? Musberger or Mixon? Thanks for the writeup! Zurreco posted:I figure we are already going to have some obvious options like NCAA, Mark Emmert, Goodell, Kraft, Baylor, Penn State, Jimbo Fisher, Snyder, Rovell, Cowherd, SAS, etc, but it never hurts to list em. I'm not counting these as Nominations, but since Grittybeard gave me a writeup for Mark Emmert, I counted you as Seconding him on that one. For the others, I'll want the minimum - a statement of why they were a douchebag this past year. It's fine if you'd rather leave that to someone else, though. I gave you credit for nominating the ones you wrote up in this post. Sataere posted:I'm not sure if I am pushing the boundaries of this, but I nominate Donald Trump As a prominent person injecting his opinions into football, he's at least as impactful as any other random commentator, so I'll allow it. We will restrict Trump's douchebaggery to his football-related statements/actions, though - we'll have to disregard all the rest. Alllll the rest. There is so, so much we're disregarding here. A huge amount. Huuuge. Sataere posted:Seconded. I wrote a very detailed argument in last year's Hall of Fame thread, I believe. I will try to check archives for it after this dumb ER trip is over. Last year's thread, for your convenience
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May 24, 2017 17:06
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Not sure if he technically doesn't qualify or not, but Joe Mixon, for pretty obvious woman beating reasons.
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May 24, 2017 20:23
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thrilla in vanilla posted:Not sure if he technically doesn't qualify or not, but Joe Mixon, for pretty obvious woman beating reasons. I've provisionally entered it. But: he pled no contest (which is a type of guilty plea), was given a deferred sentence and 1000 hours of community service plus mandatory counseling, and has settled the later civil suit. Furthermore, the beating incident took place in 2014. So, can you describe any Mixon acts of douchebaggery that took place between last May and now, and for which he has not faced a legal punishment?
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May 24, 2017 20:30
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Eric Berry skipped OTAs so the local KC radio is certainly nominating him.
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May 24, 2017 21:35
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Frank Clark for this: Seahawks defensive end tells reporter who wrote about his domestic violence charge that she can clean his fish tank He then issued a bullshit nonapology and liked a whole bunch of tweets saying he did nothing wrong as shown here: After tweeting an apology, Frank Clark’s Twitter showed his real feelings
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May 24, 2017 22:00
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Seconding Dean Spanos. That said, I'm going to also nominate the Chargers Front Office for causing the holdout of Joey Bosa, the very first rookie holdout since the 2011 CBA was agreed upon, showing that the Chargers are somehow able to gently caress up negotiations on something that's 98% structured already by said CBA. Link to some comments by John Spanos on the holdout.
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May 24, 2017 22:05
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Leperflesh posted:I've provisionally entered it. Mixon apologized, got punished by his team and I think was put on probation, and then agreed to release the video of the incident to use as a teaching moment and to shut up everyone that was blaming the girl. I think he gets a pass.
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May 24, 2017 23:07
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all-Rush mixtape posted:New England Patriots fans for playing the victim card while having Mr. Thomas Brady win them five (five!) Super Bowls. As a Pats fan, I am produce to be seconding New England Patriots fans.
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May 24, 2017 23:52
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Seconding Dean Spanos, Frank Clark and Bruce Allen.
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May 24, 2017 23:55
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Second: The Social Media Manager for the New England Patriots
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May 25, 2017 00:00
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Oh, this happened a while back, but Chuck Staben, the President of the University of Idaho, for moving the Vandals down to FCS.oldman, via the Lewiston Morning Press posted:MOSCOW - In late April, the University of Idaho made a landmark NCAA decision, dropping its football program from the Football Bowl Subdivision (FBS) to the lower-tier Football Championship Subdivision (FCS) and effectively ending a 22-year run at the highest level of college football. This was all revealed in September, so I think it counts. Edward Mass fucked around with this message at 01:17 on May 25, 2017 |
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May 25, 2017 01:14
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Zurreco posted:and then agreed to release the video of the incident to use as a teaching moment and to shut up everyone that was blaming the girl. I think he gets a pass. Eh, this is the spin Mixon's lawyers put on things but what actually happened was the court was going to compel the release of the video anyway and they tried to get out in front of things. And even if you buy that utter bullshit I'd nominate everyone who watched that video and then talked about how women want equal rights but whine when they 'punch' first but there are too many to count. So the teaching moment thing has backfired as well.
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May 25, 2017 01:20
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Grittybeard posted:Eh, this is the spin Mixon's lawyers put on things but what actually happened was the court was going to compel the release of the video anyway and they tried to get out in front of things. Releasing the video could be considered douchebaggery, then? If so, did it happen during the last year? That'd be enough to qualify Mixon for nomination (and it would be up to the voters to decide how douchebaggy that was). all-Rush mixtape posted:This was all revealed in September, so I think it counts. Sure.
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May 25, 2017 01:34
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I feel like this thread always seems to forget him, so I want to make sure he gets at least one nomination. gently caress Jason Whitlock Also Dean Spanos is probably a front runner
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May 25, 2017 02:50
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Also nominating skip bayless I hope I don't need to explain why.
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May 25, 2017 04:16
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I don't know who said it, but they were right when saying getting mad at Skip Bayless is like getting mad at the bad guy in a wrestling match.
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May 25, 2017 05:10
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That's true. Honestly, I should go dig up those Clay Travis tweets, but I forget if they were football related or not. gently caress Clay Travis (this post is not a nomination)
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May 25, 2017 05:15
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Dean Spanos and the Spanos Family gently caress this rear end in a top hat
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May 25, 2017 05:16
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Brock Osweiler for thinking he's an NFL QB
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May 25, 2017 05:57
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