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Leperflesh for the bad spitsCavauro posted:Leperflesh for the bad spits I'm calling this a 44 point vote
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Jun 14, 2017 19:02
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Cavauro posted:Leperflesh for the bad spits
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Jun 14, 2017 19:08
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Yeah that was in 2009
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Jun 14, 2017 20:02
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hall of fame
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Jun 14, 2017 20:58
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Cavauro posted:hall of fame Seconded.
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Jun 15, 2017 00:08
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I don't care how valid the arguments are, if I could just go one loving hour without thinking of Trump, and have one aspect of my life not be utterly consumed by his bullshit, it's the Douche Tournament where I just want to have fun and laugh at idiots. Get him out of here as soon as possible. Pacman Jones.
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Jun 15, 2017 00:55
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Trump is an outstanding Hall of Fame candidate but a weak 2017 candidate for football. He might kill us all but that's a different topic. So put me down for Pacman Jones I guess.
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Jun 15, 2017 13:17
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Pacman Jones wins, 36-18.
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Jun 15, 2017 18:20
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Next up we have Vontaze Burfict vs. Mark Davis Vontaze Burfict Vontaze DeLeon Burfict Jr. (born September 24, 1990) is an American football linebacker for the Cincinnati Bengals of the National Football League. He was signed by the Bengals as an undrafted free agent in 2012.  Zurreco posted:Vontaze Burfict for once again being the dirtiest and douchiest player in the league. Toss in Pacman Jones (who was recently arrested again for assault and spitting on a nurse while in custody) and you have the two biggest dicks in the NFL ON THE SAME TEAM. Their douchebaggery cost their team a guaranteed playoff win last year. They also downplayed some of the worst hits in the game in the name of winning (which, again, they didn't). OK, so the playoff douchebaggery was last year (and he was suspended for it anyway), we cannot consider it. We can see from this article: http://www.sbnation.com/2016/12/18/13351854/vontaze-burfict-history-cincinnati-bengals-asu-personal-fouls That Burfict might well be a good Lifetime Douchievement Award candidate, but let's quote his douchery from the 2016-17 season for our consideration today: quote:Oct. 16, 2016 Hmm. So, maybe stomping on Blount, although maybe he didn't even do that, plus he flipped the birds to Buffalo which... yeah, why wouldn't you? OK, maybe because it's a monumentally stupid thing for a guy who has been so often suspended and penalized to do, it shows he still has no control over his hotheaded tendencies. Anyway that article was from the end of 2016, maybe he did more douchey things during 2017? Not much on the field, since he had a concussion week 15 (which he was inexplicably allowed to play through that day) and missed a couple games at the end of the Bengals' season, and they had no postseason. Mark Davis Mark Davis (born 1954 or 1955) is the principal owner and managing general partner of the Oakland Raiders of the National Football League.  seiferguy posted:Also, Mark Davis for trying to act like a man of the people then screwing over Oakland and moving the Raiders to Vegas. After years of negotiation with Oakland in which the City repeatedly refused to pony up a big pile of taxpayer money to fund a new stadium - which the Raiders desperately need, that's totally legit, the Oakland Colosseum is the oldest in the NFL and is lovely and falling apart and awful - Mark Davis decided to go ahead and take the piles of free money on offer by Las Vegas and move the Raiders there. Obviously moving the team sucks and it's generally the case that wealthy NFL owners could find financing if they wanted to build their goddamn stadium themselves, even if Davis isn't quite enough of a billionaire to fund the stadium out of his own pocket, probably. He was also not willing to sell part of his ownership and become a minority owner in order to work with the so-called "Lott Group" of investors led by Ronnie Lott in order to keep the team in Oakland. As a business decision it's reasonable, but as seiferguy points out, it runs sharply counter to Davis' self-portrayal as a down-to-earth "man of the people" - a guy who hangs around at PF Changs, has a truly amazingly terrible haircut, enjoys blithely ignoring the pressures of the other NFL owners, and generally attempts to own his father's legacy as a maverick. Who is the bigger douchebag: the maybe-Blount-stomping Buffalo flipper-offer, or the outrageously unattractive wealthy Raiders-mover?
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Jun 15, 2017 18:44
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Mark Davis being a team moving motherfucker is way more of a large scale douchebag move than one linebacker being a shithead. Especially since he peaked last year or something anyway.
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Jun 15, 2017 19:04
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Mark Davis because he somehow gets lauded by homers for having a few quirks that somehow excuse his actions, having a self-righteous but not at all consistent stance regarding domestic violence, and for being unscrupulous enough to take advantage of bad government in order to personally enrich himself.
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Jun 15, 2017 19:24
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Mark Davis
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Jun 15, 2017 19:37
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Part of the reason the Oakland taxpayers didn't want to give Mark Davis money is that they're still paying for the last set of renovations to the Coliseum from when the Raiders moved back to Oakland, but even if that weren't the case, taxpayer-funded stadium deals are falling out of vogue and Oakland has plenty of better things to spend that money on. And yeah, Mark Davis is outrageously unattractive. But neither of those things are particularly relevant to the competition. Burfict is a tool, but he's not a tool that moved his team to Las loving Vegas. Mark Davis
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Jun 15, 2017 19:44
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Vontaze Burfict because he flipped off somebody, and that means "gently caress you" if you don't know, which is insane. stop voting non-bengals
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Jun 15, 2017 19:46
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Mark Davis scammed Sheldon Adelson, which is great, but relocating his team is bad.
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Jun 15, 2017 19:55
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Mark Davis doesn't have the mental capacity to be a douche. He was incapable of being coy related to his desire to go to Vegas that he didn't even try to lead Oakland on. He tried to make a play on Adelson but uhh, it didn't happen and also gor Adelson out of the arena deal, so a net win. Burfict is basically Pacman but worse, and he also admits to being a douche pretty openly.
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Jun 15, 2017 20:52
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Mark Davis as while there are worst team moving owners that does not excuse the fact that it is still a douchebag move.
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Jun 15, 2017 20:55
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Mark Davis
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Jun 15, 2017 22:29
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Mark Davis For being a billionaire and yet still choosing to have a page boy haircut in TYOOL 2017
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Jun 15, 2017 22:33
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Mark Davis for moving the team. Also he isn't actually a billionaire.
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Jun 15, 2017 23:03
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Mark Davis looks like the type of guy who goes to strip clubs because he likes the food. I bet that's the real reason he moved the team to Vegas.
Benne fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Jun 16, 2017 |
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Jun 16, 2017 01:27
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gently caress y'all Oakland doesn't deserve a team Vontaze Burfict is a dirtier loving player on the field than his shitbag friend Pacman. He is the dirtiest player on the most pointlessly dirty team.
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Jun 16, 2017 02:27
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Mark Davis because whenever someone tries to hide their douchiness behind quirky hit pieces is worse to me than someone who's up front about it.
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Jun 16, 2017 04:46
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Vontaze Burfict. It takes a special sort of shithead to come back from suspension and say "Why would I change anything?". He's been fined, and in some years the most fined player because he's a dirt motherfucker and actively tries to injure people. He was suspended at the beginning of this year because of his dirty-as-gently caress hit in the playoffs. He is the singular reason I'm glad the Bengals crashed and burned last season. And he's actively refusing to learn a loving thing, so he can eat poo poo through a straw. That's a lot of swearwords to indicate he makes me less than happy. That quote I pulled is basically why. It's not really playing dirty in the past -- it's refusing to acknowledge he's been a problem and continuing to be a dirty piece of poo poo. This isn't to say that Mark Davis doesn't deserve to go on. If I could, I'd throw a vote for both of them. Neither deserve to be eliminated in round 1. If it were almost anyone else up against Davis, I'd vote for him.
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Jun 16, 2017 06:09
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To reiterate in my previous post, Mark Davis tried to act like a man of the people, posing with fans outside strip clubs, eating at Hooters, etc. But none of that mattered when he was given the opportunity to move the team to Vegas. Now he can enjoy all the high class strip clubs available. In terms of douche owners that moved their teams, he's by no means the worst (I think Spanos wins that), but loving over a city sucks either way.
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Jun 16, 2017 15:58
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Vontaze is a jerk in a bad matchup since he just can't be douchy enough to stand up to Mark Davis.
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Jun 16, 2017 22:07
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Mark Davis wins!, 35 to 12. Burfict is a big douche, but he just didn't douche it up that much this year.
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Jun 17, 2017 17:51
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ESPN vs. The Cincinnati Bengals! ESPN  ESPN (originally an initialism for Entertainment and Sports Programming Networks) is a U.S.-based global cable and satellite sports television channel owned by ESPN Inc., a joint venture between The Walt Disney Company (which operates the network) and the Hearst Corporation (which owns a 20% minority share). Zurreco posted:ESPN for paying top dollar to get rights to NFL broadcasts even though their revenue stream couldn't handle it. Massive layoffs were directly tied to the NFL and NBA packages recently negotiated. https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2017-03-30/espn-has-seen-the-future-of-tv-and-they-re-not-really-into-it quote:SportsCenter is only part of the problem. ESPN has lost more than 12 million subscribers since 2011, according to Nielsen, and the viewership erosion seems to be accelerating. Last fall, ESPN lost 621,000 subscribers in a single month, the most in the company’s history. The losses have helped depress Disney’s stock price—down 7 percent since August 2015, despite a big jump in the company’s film revenue thanks to a string of hits, including the latest Star Wars film, Rogue One. John Malone, the cable entrepreneur and chairman of Liberty Media Corp., has publicly suggested that Disney would be better off selling ESPN. OK, so the company is in a downward spiral. But Zurreco gets to the heart of it: ESPN went into negotiations in the weakest possible position: that is, the NFL knew that ESPN absolutely had to get content, and therefore, the NFL could squeeze them for a fuckload of money for it, because there was no way ESPN could walk away and say "welp, the NFL is just too expensive, so no more NFL football on ESPN." So now ESPN's financial problems are so big that they're dragging down Disney, and that is not something Disney is OK with, so they're imposing austerity measures where they can. Cutting staff and costs is probably a really good idea though. I think it's worth adding that ESPN commentators are perennial nominees for the Douchebag of the Year awards; this year, Skip Bayless and Brent Musberger have been mentioned. The Cincinnati Bengals The Cincinnati Bengals are a professional American football franchise based in Cincinnati, Ohio. The Bengals currently compete in the National Football League (NFL) as a member club of the league's American Football Conference (AFC) North division. Their home stadium is Paul Brown Stadium in downtown Cincinnati. Their current head coach is Marvin Lewis, who has held the position since 2003 and is currently the second-longest tenured head coach in the NFL, behind the New England Patriots' Bill Belichick. Their chief rivals are the Pittsburgh Steelers, Cleveland Browns, and the Baltimore Ravens.  Ches Neckbeard posted:I nominate[ The Cincinnati Bengals Yeah, like, how many douchebags does a team need to employ before we start going "OK, hey, this team just doesn't care if its players are all douchebags"? Because, yeah, OK, pacman and burfict get fined and stuff, but they cost the team a playoff spot and then kept their jobs anyway. At some point you've got to as an organization say "I don't care how good they are, they're toxic" and fire some assholes. OK please vote! I'll leave this one open into Monday unless there's a runaway victor, because people are probably busy with fathers' day stuff.
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Jun 17, 2017 18:09
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ESPN, if not for the reasons I posted, then because they brought SAS, Rovell, Bayless, etc to the mainstream. They also refuse to honestly broach important topics, like how the NFLPA needs to make weed a non-offense for tests or how the NCAA needs to pay its players, because they don't want to cross owners if it costs em a buck or a pageview. Also, they keep giving Lavar Ball airtime.
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Jun 17, 2017 18:57
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Since I passed on Pacman and Burfict, I'm voitng for the Cincinnati Bengals since they employ the biggest amounts of douche of any team While I do think ESPN has a lot of awful media personalities, there are people there that do good work, and their fuckup with the NFL deal isn't entirely their fault.
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Jun 17, 2017 19:28
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The Cincinnati Bengals. i think they have the most guys around, without checking. even if that's wrong, it's probably near the top 10-20 in the league these days.
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Jun 17, 2017 19:41
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ESPN. The fact that they brought Skip Bayless, Mark May, Stephen A Smith, and a bevy of other useless abrasive fucks into the mainstream is reason enough to loathe them. The fact that they continue to try and bully every other network into getting things their way is also fairly egregious. But now their arrogance is resulting in actual sports journalists, and not loudmouth commentators, losing their jobs and livelihoods while doubling down on their mediocrity, screams to me a prime alpha douche move where the ship is sinking and the captain is taking as many people down with it. E: And I cannot in good conscience speak badly of the Bengals while Andrew "Red rifle" Dalton is at the helm.
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Jun 17, 2017 20:50
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The Bengals but mostly for Marvin Lewis being a big baby about the NFL bringing back using the ball as a prop in celebrations. loving Buzz Killington motherfucker
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Jun 17, 2017 21:28
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Hmm... ESPN
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Jun 19, 2017 03:24
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This one's tough, since they're both faceless organizations with a lot of possible things to talk about, but the Bengals seem to me like they did more douchey things this year.
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Jun 19, 2017 03:56
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I don't get the andey thing. Bengals
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Jun 19, 2017 04:04
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I'm split and while I'd normally vote for ESPN, the Bengals' multiple nominations that have been defeated in the first round deserve to be recognized in some way. Although losing in the first round for every entry would be very Bengals-esque.
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Jun 19, 2017 04:05
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ESPN exposed more people to more douchebaggery in every form than the Bengals. The Bengals aren't douchey enough to even be *noticed* most of the time. ESPN became the loudest and stupidest platform for the lovely Hot Take As We Know It; the Bengals merely have some assholes who aren't even that relevant in this very contest.
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Jun 19, 2017 12:54
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Part of me wonders if ESPN would be better served as a hof entry.
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Jun 19, 2017 13:41
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ESPN is a bigger problem than one team that only AFC North fans should have a reason to vote for here.
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Jun 19, 2017 14:04
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