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Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Better detective. More professional, kind. Not a loving druggie. Didn't need a male helper/lover to hang around his every narcissistic word.

Plus a better moustache. No competition! Poirot, greatest detective ever! Sherlock: a LOSER, Sad!

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Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
I've never seen Poirot, or read it. In fact I don't read at all because I'm not a loving god drat idiot nerd reject like C.F.C. I'm too busy having the secks with beautiful women (models!) to get anything done. Kind of a burden really.

Apoplexy
Mar 9, 2003

by Shine
Poitot is the only named system in Syndicate.

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Kuato posted:

I've never seen Poirot, or read it. In fact I don't read at all because I'm not a loving god drat idiot nerd reject like C.F.C. I'm too busy having the secks with beautiful women (models!) to get anything done. Kind of a burden really.

Look at this loving idiot who can't even read

gently caress you Kuato! Can you read this? Read my balls, with your tongue, bitch!

Loutre
Jan 14, 2004

✓COMFY
✓CLASSY
✓HORNY
✓PEPSI
Poirot is cool as hell. The Murder of Roger Ackroyd was the best of all the mystery books I read in my teens.

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
the books are good, the tv movies are good. gently caress yeah, poirot.

however, the absolute best poirot is when the tv movies were adaptations of books.

Duh Ugh
May 27, 2008
Nthing Poirot for best detective. Buuuuutttt, Miss Marple the superior Agatha Cristie character. Just something appealing about a nosy old lady.

WhyteRyce
Dec 30, 2001

Oh god I have the theme song stuck in my head right now

Gargamel Gibson
Apr 24, 2014
Fuckin' A.

Thirsty Girl
Dec 5, 2015

im a goddamn belgian

-poirot

Tacky-Ass Rococco
Sep 7, 2010

by R. Guyovich

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

Better detective.

Worse detective. No forensic sense at all. Was mostly dependent on tricking suspects into doing the evil voice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9iQ1yU5Ops

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

Not a loving druggie.

Yeah, Poirot was a boring fat Belgian, Holmes was a fuckin' rock star.

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
Everyone who reads the highest form of art, graphic novels (comics to you plebs), would know it is neither Poirot or Sherlock who is the best, but Bruce Wayne, AKA Batman. :smuggo:

Charles Bukowski
Aug 26, 2003

Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Grimey Drawer
Inspector Morse was really good. Luther was good. Foyle's War had its moments. Wallander was great. Cracker was fantastic and I watch it a lot(I'm very depressed). I've been enjoying River, I like Skarsgaard a lot.

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007

Duh Ugh posted:

Nthing Poirot for best detective. Buuuuutttt, Miss Marple the superior Agatha Cristie character. Just something appealing about a nosy old lady.

marple has two layers. on the surface is the vaguely insulting idea that rural english villages are microcosms of society and by being a gossipy old biddy you will learn all there is to know about human nature. but underneath, there is the part the character never admits to- marple is just bullshitting and all of the comparisons to some yokel or another are camouflage for her keen analytical mind. she poses as an impossibly quaint idiot savant because that is the only acceptable way for her to apply her talents in that society. christie used a similar idea with poirot, where he was playing up his foreignness so that the stuffy and incredibly racist brits he investigated would underestimate him.

Randarkman
Jul 18, 2011

belgians aren't a race.
in fact they're hardly people.

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
it makes me lol that arthur conan doyle was actually the most gullible motherfucker to ever live, though.

welcome 2 Clown Town
Aug 1, 2006

GALAXY'S #2 SCULL*!

*scrunt skull
im detecting a bad post coming from somewhere

i deduce that it is coming from in this very thread

aha! its right here

Avirosb
Nov 21, 2016

Everyone makes pisstakes

Kuato posted:

Everyone who reads the highest form of art, graphic novels (comics to you plebs),
would know it is neither Poirot or Sherlock who is the best, but Bruce Wayne, AKA Batman. :smuggo:

Not that hard to be the world's greatest detective when that world's other occupants are so incredibly dense.

Avirosb
Nov 21, 2016

Everyone makes pisstakes

Randarkman posted:

belgians aren't a race.
in fact they're hardly people.

20% Homo Sapien, 80% waffle.
They all live in mansions with a dude named Haddock.

Jim Barris
Aug 13, 2009
agreed, agreed, but is poirot better then columbo?

Jim Barris
Aug 13, 2009
the poirot tv show is better then the books. Murder on the Orient Express in particular is much improved in the transition from book to tv they actually give the story some pathos on the show.

Tacky-Ass Rococco
Sep 7, 2010

by R. Guyovich

Jim Barris posted:

agreed, agreed, but is poirot better then columbo?

Don't you dare.

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
i do not like the blatant agatha christie stand-in character from the tv movies. it's just so masturbatory.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
No poo poo, Hercule!

Maya Fey
Jan 22, 2017


the poirot books are cool and funny and i like how they're basically like detective games with clues Christie leaves laying around for you to figure it out which is perfect for me, the gaming dumbass

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
hold on! i just found a clue... let's see here...

'jet fuel can't melt steel beams'? what the heck is this?

Thirsty Girl
Dec 5, 2015

gimme the GOD drat candy posted:

it makes me lol that arthur conan doyle was actually the most gullible motherfucker to ever live, though.

he believed in fairies lol

Mr.Pibbleton
Feb 3, 2006

Aleuts rock, chummer.

I like the one where Hastings has a different idea of how to investigate the mystery and Poirot laughs him off, only for Hastings to solve it using a different methodology. while Poirot gets stumped and frustrated. Upon learning Hastings solved it before him, Poirot loses his poo poo and starts ranting. Hastings defuses the situation by pointing out that if a man has the world's greatest detective to learn from, it's only natural he'd solve a mystery every now and again. Hastings being a goof is my favorite bit of the series.

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006




gimme the GOD drat candy posted:

it makes me lol that arthur conan doyle was actually the most gullible motherfucker to ever live, though.

He fell out with his good friend Harry Houdini for debunking spiritualist scammers and accused him of using real magic :lol:

communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009
They're all wankers. Arsene Lupin, Gentleman Burglar, is the only worthwhile 19th century literary mystery character.

Suck my drat balls if you disagree.

Zorodius
Feb 11, 2007

EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.
Sherlock is the handsomest and therefore best detective

Jim Barris
Aug 13, 2009

Oberleutnant posted:

They're all wankers. Arsene Lupin, Gentleman Burglar, is the only worthwhile 19th century literary mystery character.

Suck my drat balls if you disagree.

That's the wrong century holmes

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
hastings wasn't really poirot's equal, but he was an excellent assistant.

communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009
Well he was in stories published in the 20th century too. Arsene Lupin wins again!

Zorodius
Feb 11, 2007

EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.

Avirosb posted:

Not that hard to be the world's greatest detective when that world's other occupants are so incredibly dense.

ElGroucho
Nov 1, 2005

We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane
Fun Shoe
Poirot: "for you see, a one armed left hander could never have shot the bishop; at 3:15, the clocks hand covers the left portion of the sniper nest!"

Sherlock, same mystery: "first, I found samples of the victim's stool. I tasted a hint of Giorgio Salvalri almonds, which of course we all know can only be found in the Po valley of upper Italy..." ad infinitum

ElGroucho
Nov 1, 2005

We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane
Fun Shoe
Also, Columbo is the best

Lord Frankenstyle
Dec 3, 2005

Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.
I thought he was awesome until I found out that it isn't pronounced "Poy-rot".

vudan
Dec 11, 2010

Comfy Fleece Sweater posted:

Look at this loving idiot who can't even read

gently caress you Kuato! Can you read this? Read my balls, with your tongue, bitch!

Will mods please change my name to Braille scrotum?

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ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Zorodius posted:

Sherlock is the handsomest and therefore best detective

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