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O'Bourke keeps on out-gooning that chucklefuck Windros. That's all that matters. 
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Aug 25, 2017 17:34
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Pleads posted:Wow swept in the finals way to put your best foot forward Avs  Nice nice, well done looking good boys... wait, what's that? There is a 3rd Colorado player?  son of a
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Aug 25, 2017 22:07
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Come over to my place sometime this offseason and you can help me count my money 
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Aug 25, 2017 23:16
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Proud of my boy Gordie for getting a second all-star game. Gord Gordon is cool because he consistently puts up good 2nd line centre points and then he has a couple of great seasons like this one.
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Aug 25, 2017 23:37
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2034 Offseason News Notable Retirements Aunt Jemima -- 1198gp - 508g - 558a - 1066p Stabby McStabson -- 588gp - 152g - 131a - 283p Taro Tsujimoto -- 146gp - 34g - 17a - 51p Scott Johns -- 101gp - 16g - 9a - 25p Patrick Laine Auston Matthews Matthew Tkachuk Jake Virtanen Lawson Crouse Oliver Bjorkstrand Jakob Chychrun Full Lists: http://imgur.com/a/ylp3a - http://imgur.com/a/kmHtc - http://imgur.com/a/C3qXK - http://imgur.com/a/Akoov - http://imgur.com/a/LUZ2h Transaction News 6/23/34 CAR gets: 2034 2nd Round Pick, a prospect FLA gets: Gord Gordon ARZ -- re-signed Southie Paux to a $13mil/2yr contract LA -- re-signed Aldrig Glomma to a $6.4mil/2yr contract NYR -- re-signed Ewic Windros to a $8.8mil/2yr contract PHI -- re-signed Hugh Jass to a $14.5mil/2yr contract NSH -- signed Miracle Johnson to a $1.3mil/1yr contract Unsigned Nippon Ichi Ogie Ogilthorpe III Jeremiah ThinkTank Guy Fieri 2034-35 Opening Night Info ARZ -- Southie Paux is a 2nd Line FWD BOS -- Quayden Aydin is a 1st Line FWD BOS -- Jus Poost is a 1st Line FWD CGY -- Kaido Hoovelson is a Top 6 DEF CGY -- Gord Murphy is a Top 4 DEF COL -- Soup Athanatos is 2nd Line FWD COL -- Puck Sonette is a 3rd CHK Line FWD FLA -- Bernie Sanders is a 2nd Line FWD FLA -- Gord Gordon is a 2nd Line FWD LA -- Aldrig Glomma is a 4th Line FWD LA -- Coach Hockles is a 1st Line FWD LA -- Floaty McPylon is a Top 4 DEF MIN -- Aejix Dundee is an Elite Goalie MTL -- Stanley Matthews III is a Depth FWD NSH -- assigned Miracle Johnson to Milwaukee of the AHL, his role is 4th Line FWD NSH -- Potatoes O'Bourke is a Top 4 DEF NJ -- Jack Bauer is a 2nd Line FWD NYI -- Touchdown Thomas is a 1st Line FWD NYR -- Ewic Windros is a 3rd SCR Line FWD PHI -- Bubba Biscuits is a 4th Line FWD PHI -- Hugh Jass is a Top 4 DEF SJ -- Cruz McBroozer is a 2nd Line FWD SJ -- Bavel Bortnik is a Top 2 DEF TB -- Yokozuna is a Starting Goalie WPG -- Mulkku Paskiainen is a Starting Goalie Unsigned Nippon Ichi Ogie Ogilthorpe III Jeremiah ThinkTank Guy Fieri Comments Jemima, McStabson, Tsujimoto, and Johns all officially retire Johnson returns to the AHL There is a player in this universe by the name of Gordon Jon lol. I'm not laughing about that, his last name are the letters "L O L" all lower-case. He would have been born in 2012.
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Aug 26, 2017 00:09
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Hockles posted:I'm not laughing about that, his last name are the letters "L O L" all lower-case. He would have been born in 2012. Millennial parents!!   Jemima
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Aug 26, 2017 00:19
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HELL YES tommy's in it for another year!! gotta defend that trophy now, boy
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Aug 26, 2017 00:19
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Makes sense, I played all 82 games last year with 0.79 PPG, cup finals, and an all star game, makes perfect sense that I would suddenly retire. Thanks Rammer
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Aug 26, 2017 00:24
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After the playoffs, I bought some Ad Space in downtown Colorado: Hockles posted:Comments It worked.
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Aug 26, 2017 00:26
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Athanatos posted:downtown Colorado: 
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Aug 26, 2017 00:28
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Soup plays hockey his brain isnt super good.
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Aug 26, 2017 00:29
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Hockles posted:Comments A quick Google search reveals it's the PSN of some Reddit user. I can't say I'm surprised EA would do such a thing.
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Aug 26, 2017 00:37
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Here lies McStabson He accomplished nothing.
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Aug 26, 2017 02:22
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Aw I'm actually kinda bummed that Gordie didn't play his entire career with the Canes. I'm sure they'll still retire his number.
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Aug 26, 2017 02:28
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2035 All-Star Break Update All-Stars Pacific - Bavel Bortnik (12th selection) Pacific - Floaty McPylon (12th selection) Atlantic - Quayden Aydin (13th selection) Metropolitan - Touchdown Thomas (14th selection) Transaction News 1/16/35 FLA gets: Potatoes O'Bourke NSH gets: 2036 3rd Round Pick, a prospect Notable Stats Bortnik is 5th in Points Thomas leads the NHL in Goals Bortnik is 3rd in +/- Windros leads the NHL in PIM, O'Bourke is 2nd, Biscuits is 3rd, Glomma is 4th Comments Well, age looks to be catching up to most of the goons http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2017 for complete stats
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Aug 26, 2017 17:00
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Belarussian boy Floaty McPylon has broken the 1000 point mark. 
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Aug 26, 2017 17:25
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From Cup champs to missing the playoffs to 38 points halfway through the season. Outstanding.
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Aug 26, 2017 18:12
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Thanks for signing my washed out trash rear end out of the KHL, Perds e: wait you signed me to be AHL depth? gently caress you corn on the cop fucked around with this message at 18:33 on Aug 26, 2017 |
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Aug 26, 2017 18:29
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Weird that Than's goal production went through the floor without good old Jemima out there using Than's stick as a backboard 
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Aug 26, 2017 18:35
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McBroozer doin' pretty fine in his old age
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Aug 26, 2017 20:20
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The older Bubbers gets, the cheaper he plays. Good on ya.
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Aug 26, 2017 22:19
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gently caress yes! i finally have one more All-Star Game selection than Jus Poost. what a glorious day and also, lmao @ that cup hangover
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Aug 26, 2017 23:32
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Bavel is closing in on 500 goals and a 6th Norris. let's go Team BB
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Aug 26, 2017 23:36
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Agent Jack Bauer is still grinding out those points, even at 33. 15 away from 500! Maybe he'll make it this year. Oh yeah, thank you Hockles for doing this. It's a fantastic thing to pay attention to in the offseason.
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Aug 26, 2017 23:57
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here lies taro tsujimoto somehow, he got 146 nhl games in
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Aug 27, 2017 00:14
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Poost is now 3rd all time in goals, and his being injured has dragged Aydin down a bunch too.
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Aug 27, 2017 06:18
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mentholmoose posted:Oh yeah, thank you Hockles for doing this. It's a fantastic thing to pay attention to in the offseason.
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Aug 27, 2017 18:13
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End of 2034-35 Regular Season Update Transaction News None Notable Stats Thomas finished 3rd in Points Thomas lead the NHL in Goals Bortnik finished 3rd in +/- Top 4 in PIM: O'Bourke, Windros, Biscuits, Glomma O'Bourke was 5th in Hits Comments Y'all are old MIL finished 7th in their division http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2017 for complete stats
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Aug 30, 2017 01:29
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End of 2034-35 Season Update NHL Awards Stanley Cup Champions Los Angeles Kings Presidents Trophy (Best Regular Season Record) Ottawa Senators Art Ross Trophy (Most Points) R. Palapuz -- Philadelphia Flyers Hart Memorial Trophy (League MVP) R. Palapuz -- Philadelphia Flyers James Norris Memorial Trophy (Best Defenseman) Bavel Bortnik -- San Jose Sharks Lady Byng Memorial Trophy (Best Sportsmanship & Gentlemanly Conduct) R. Palapuz -- Philadelphia Flyers Calder Memorial Trophy (Rookie of the Year) R. Simpson -- Montreal Canadiens Conn Smythe Trophy (Playoff MVP) H. Klotz -- Los Angeles Kings Vezina Trophy (Best Goaltender) B. Springis -- Detroit Red Wings William M. Jennings Trophy (Goalie(s) on team with fewest Goals Against) B. Springis -- Detroit Red Wings Bill Masterton Memorial Trophy (Perserverence, Sportsmanship & Dedication to hockey) J. Meloche -- Minnesota Wild Frank J. Selke Trophy (Best Defensive Forward) T. Smithson -- Montreal Canadiens Ted Lindsay Award (League MVP as voted by NHLPA) R. Palapuz -- Philadelphia Flyers Maurice "Rocket" Richard Trophy (Most Goals) Touchdown Thomas -- New York Islanders Upcoming Free Agents CGY -- Kaido Hoovelson COL -- Soup Athanatos LA -- Floaty McPylon MTL -- Stanley Matthews III NSH -- Miracle Johnson PHI -- Bubba Biscuits SJ -- Cruz McBroozer SJ -- Bavel Bortnik TB -- Yokozuna WPG -- Mulkku Paskiainen Nippon Ichi Ogie Ogilthorpe III Jeremiah ThinkTank Guy Fieri Comments McPylon drags his team to yet another Cup Thomas and Bornik win their annual trophies again It will be interesting to see how this offseason shakes out http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2017 for complete stats
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Sep 2, 2017 16:52
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bavel bortnik is on a quest to be the GOAT defenseman. i believe in bavel bortkin. go bavel
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Sep 2, 2017 17:11
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Aye Doc posted:bavel bortnik is on a quest to be the GOAT defenseman. i believe in bavel bortkin. go bavel He doesn't even have the Hart to be greater than 4 time Stanley Cup champion Floaty McPylon, let alone Bobby Orr. 
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Sep 2, 2017 17:20
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2035 Offseason News Notable Retirements Ewic Windros -- 1160gp - 345g - 59a - 404p Guy Fieri -- 445gp - 157g - 154a - 311p Potatoes O'Bourke -- 1074gp - 132g - 52a - 184p Nikolaj Ehlers Cody Glass Nicolas Meloche Logan Brown Matthew Strome Veini Vehvilainen Full Lists: https://imgur.com/a/EkAWW - https://imgur.com/a/a35dd - https://imgur.com/a/GbA42 - https://imgur.com/a/YbfFp Transaction News COL -- re-signed Soup Athanatos to a $5.2mil/1yr contract LA -- re-signed Floaty McPylon to a $55.4mil/8yr contract SJ -- re-signed Cruz McBroozer to a $8.6mil/1yr contract SJ -- re-signed Bavel Bortnik to a $50mil/4yr contract TB -- re-signed Yokozuna to a $2.1mil/1yr contract WPG -- re-signed Mulkku Paskiainen to a $76.4mil/8yr contract TOR -- signed Kaido Hoovelson to a $8.5mil/2yr contract Unsigned Nippon Ichi Ogie Ogilthorpe III Jeremiah ThinkTank Bubba Biscuits Miracle Johnson Stanley Matthews III 2035-36 Opening Night Info ARZ -- Southie Paux is a 2nd Line FWD BOS -- Quayden Aydin is a 1st Line FWD BOS -- Jus Poost is a 1st Line FWD CGY -- Gord Murphy is a Top 4 DEF COL -- Soup Athanatos is 3rd SCR Line FWD COL -- Puck Sonette is a Depth FWD FLA -- Bernie Sanders is a Depth FWD FLA -- Gord Gordon is a 2nd Line FWD LA -- Aldrig Glomma is a 4th Line FWD LA -- Coach Hockles is a 1st Line FWD LA -- Floaty McPylon is a Top 2 DEF MIN -- Aejix Dundee is a Starting Goalie NJ -- Jack Bauer is a 4th Line FWD NYI -- Touchdown Thomas is a 1st Line FWD PHI -- Hugh Jass is a Top 4 DEF SJ -- Cruz McBroozer is a 2nd Line FWD SJ -- Bavel Bortnik is a Top 2 DEF TB -- Yokozuna is a Backup Goalie TOR -- assigned Kaido Hoovelson to Toronto in the AHL, his role is a Top 6 DEF WPG -- Mulkku Paskiainen is a Starting Goalie Unsigned Nippon Ichi Ogie Ogilthorpe III Jeremiah ThinkTank Bubba Biscuits Miracle Johnson Stanley Matthews III Comments rip Windros, Fieri, O'Bourke the Kings gave 33yr old McPylon an 8 year contract  the Jets gave 33yr old Paskiainen an 8 yr contract
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Sep 2, 2017 17:48
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there is no way those contracts until someone is 41 can go badly none at all
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Sep 2, 2017 18:00
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Much like real life, I expect that they end up on the LTIR with "old age disease" after they turn 37 or so, which in this game means they retire.
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Sep 2, 2017 18:13
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Puck's days are numbered.
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Sep 2, 2017 18:15
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2036 All-Star Break Update All-Stars Pacific - Coach Hockles (9th selection) Pacific - Bavel Bortnik (13th selection) Pacific - Floaty McPylon (13th selection) Central - Soup Athanatos (9th selection) Atlantic - Quayden Aydin (14th selection) Metropolitan - Touchdown Thomas (15th selection) Transaction News None Notable Stats Thomas leads the NHL in Points, McPylon is 4th Thomas leads the NHL in Goals, Poost 3rd Thomas leads the NHL in +/- Glomma leads the NHL in PIM Comments Thomas found the fountain of youth in the offseason Toronto is 2nd in the North Division in the AHL http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2017 for complete stats
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Sep 2, 2017 18:46
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End of 2035-36 Regular Season Update Transaction News None Notable Stats Thomas lead the NHL in Points, Aydin was 3rd Thomas lead the NHL in Goals, Poost was 2nd Thomas lead the NHL in +/- Glomma lead the NHL in PIM Comments Thomas is gonna win all the awards again Neither Bortnik or McPylon are going to win the Norris this year TOR won the AHL Presidents Trophy http://tinyurl.com/NHL-Create-A-Goon-2017 for complete stats
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Sep 2, 2017 19:32
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Gord could easily carry Calgary to another Cup if they put him back on the top pairing, imo
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Sep 2, 2017 19:34
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thomas has over 1000 career goals and only one of them was shorthanded tommy dont do penalty killing
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Sep 2, 2017 19:39
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| # ? May 3, 2024 19:49 |
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Can't wait for philadelphia to gently caress this up again!
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Sep 2, 2017 20:24
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