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Pre-made canned chili without beans. A can of beans. Mix, heat up, enjoy. 
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Jun 3, 2017 09:59
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Two tortilla shells, cheese, salsa verde, bacon, microwave for a minute and a half. Quesadilla!
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Jun 3, 2017 10:06
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Add canned tomatoes to pot. Add gnochi to pot. Add seasonings or don't. Simmer. Eat. Clean up: 1x Pot 1x Spoon or something
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Jun 3, 2017 10:18
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Get some oil, 250g minced beef, an onion, a tin of tomatoes, some spaghetti, some oregano. Peel and chop the onion up. When you're more used to this you can do it as you cook but if you're starting it helps to only have one thing to do at a time. Pour about a tablespoon of oil into a saucepan. Heat it. When it's hot, add the mince and stir it about. Once the mince is brown, add the onion and stir some more. When the onion is clear, add the tin of tomatoes and a big shake of oregano. Stir well, let it simmer. After maybe twenty minutes, put the spaghetti into another saucepan and boil it. When it's soft, drain it and combine it with the sauce. This is a super basic recipe. There are lots of ways to make it better. Crumble a stock cube into the sauce. Fry mushrooms and garlic and carrots along with the onion. But you asked for something simple, and this was simple enough for clueless 18-year old Whybird to make.
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Jun 3, 2017 10:43
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OP when I'm lazy and don't feel like cooking complicated things I just get some white rice, boil it and eat it with some salt+pepper (optional). 1 ingredient+seasonings and you will no longer be hungry, and it only takes like 10-15 minutes to make.
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Jun 3, 2017 10:45
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Whybird posted:Get some oil, 250g minced beef, an onion, a tin of tomatoes, some spaghetti, some oregano. this guys right. but id say put a few stockcubes in as a basic.
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Jun 3, 2017 10:45
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put a hot dog in the microwave for 1 minute and then get a bun and put some poo poo on it.
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Jun 3, 2017 11:07
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just boil some flour in water
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Jun 3, 2017 11:12
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just corndogs
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Jun 3, 2017 11:14
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pour 1 fl oz of whiskey into a shot glass using a bottle opener, remove the cap from a 12 oz bottle of beer (a 12 oz can of beer may be substituted) empty the shotglass into your mouth drink as much of the beer as you are able, as fast as you can. smoke weed as necessary repeat until you eat everything in your kitchen that wont directly kill you, or just call for delivery
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Jun 3, 2017 11:26
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- two cans of corn - a can opener  https://i.imgur.com/MYoTjJj.jpg Bone app the teat. Somebody fucked around with this message at 06:10 on Jun 14, 2017 |
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Jun 3, 2017 11:31
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GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:- two cans of corn At which stage of the recipe do I go balls deep? I got the tip in and I ate half a can of corn, how do I proceed? this is urgent
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Jun 3, 2017 11:35
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Paging Gordon Ramsey.
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Jun 3, 2017 11:41
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In all seriousness OP, if you google "5 ingredients or less recipes" there are hundreds of them out there, probably whole books with just them. Some are bullshit and don't count spices/herbs as ingredients but some actually are really simple. Also if you get an instant pot some things are ridiculously easy and fast. Like you can just get hamburger meat, penne/ziti noodles, any kind of tomato sauce, an onion and mozzarella cheese and make pretty decent ziti in like half an hour that will last you a few days.
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Jun 3, 2017 11:50
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1 tuna steak season it with Cajun spice, herbs, pepper, and a pinch of salt cook for about 3-4 mins on each side and put some lemon juice on there once it is cooked get some side dish (rice or fries are really good) gently caress yea that poo poo is tasty and healthy as gently caress
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Jun 3, 2017 11:59
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mystery fluid posted:At which stage of the recipe do I go balls deep? I got the tip in and I ate half a can of corn, how do I proceed? this is urgent For more information Google tells me the best result for that image is "butt loving cream corn"
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Jun 3, 2017 12:04
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You really shouldn't take a formulaic approach to cooking, OP. Just be creative and use your own taste to figure things out. If you have any kind of vegetables, steam them as a side or stir fry them. Grab some cheap frozen tilapia fillets, defrost them and throw them in the oven with some garlic spice, soy sauce and a pinch of butter. You don't actually -need- soy sauce or garlic spice or butter, but it makes things not plain. Hell you don't need tilapia either, just any fish will do. If you don't have an oven, you can pan-fry it too but it's messier.
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Jun 3, 2017 12:07
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Colonel Cancer posted:You really shouldn't take a formulaic approach to cooking, OP. Just be creative and use your own taste to figure things out. This is good advice but for certain people still in the "I don't know what to buy when I go shopping" phase it's not the easiest to just dive into and having some basic starter recipes to branch out from is more effective. Like people trying to transition from frozen prepared meals and takeout to actual cooking will have no idea where to start at the grocery store, so basic recipes that include a shopping list make it a little easier.
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Jun 3, 2017 12:25
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Just eat oysters directly out of the can.
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Jun 3, 2017 12:56
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Jun 3, 2017 13:05
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Oh yay thanks Reddit
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Jun 3, 2017 13:14
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The second most offensive of that image after the "i am saying swears about cooking lol" is t he fact that the chili has no beans in it (green beans don't count as bean for this discussion). e: nevermind i didn't see the beans i was too distracted by all the edgy swears
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Jun 3, 2017 13:15
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Cut...your own....loving...nipples off you....goddamn human being and...fry them...in...some...loving olive oil...my god oh god
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Jun 3, 2017 13:34
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butter eat a whole stick of it
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Jun 3, 2017 13:36
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Add some water to flour and bake it to make some hardtack.
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Jun 3, 2017 13:47
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suck the poo poo out of my rear end in a top hat
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Jun 3, 2017 13:48
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Jun 3, 2017 13:51
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Seriously dude just buy some loving spices at the store. They keep for a long time if stored properly and just because a recipe might have 3 or 4 spices in it doesn't make it complicated to make. Get some decent cooking oil, vinegar, soy sauce, etc. as well. Onion and garlic are also awesome to keep around because they also last a long time. You can pretty much make anything if you start there.
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Jun 3, 2017 14:04
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thomawesome posted:Seriously dude just buy some loving spices at the store. They keep for a long time if stored properly and just because a recipe might have 3 or 4 spices in it doesn't make it complicated to make. Get some decent cooking oil, vinegar, soy sauce, etc. as well. Onion and garlic are also awesome to keep around because they also last a long time. Ultra-low effort version: just buy onion/garlic powder for recipes that need those. It won't be as good but they last basically forever and will be much better than if you just don't use them at all. They really do make things much better though. I used to be one of those people who would cook plain pasta and just put some butter in it and salt/pepper and eat that, but just adding garlic improves it a ton (although really you should add more than just garlic).
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Jun 3, 2017 14:08
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Just fry some sliced potatoes and throw some shredded cheddar cheese on them for every meal op
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Jun 3, 2017 14:11
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Put some cheese on a piece of bread.
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Jun 3, 2017 14:29
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easy recipe: pasta of your choice salt pepper red pepper flakes oregano capers or salad olives or anchovies or something salty and preserved and briny of your choice olive oil garlic maybe a little lemon juice cook the pasta once the pasta is done, fry the chopped garlic in a decent amount of oil (maybe add your capers/olives/anchovy for like 15 -30 seconds) dump the oil and garlic over the pasta, adding the rest of the ingredients and mix together, as per your taste eat while the crushing realization of how lovely your life is creeps in. This is what I call "lovely pasta" (even though it's not really that lovely) and I have made it a million times at 3 am while drunk. Another easy recipe: one can of black beans (el ebro brand is best, Kirby a close second, avoid Goya if possible) 2-3 garlic cloves one medium or large onion a bay leaf cumin to taste olive oil 1/2 cup-ish of beer (I just pour whatever I'm drinking into the pan, generally about 3-4 ounces) Dice the onion, reserve a portion of the onion to keep raw (optional), fry in a saucepan or small pot until soft, browned, and translucent. Stir frequently, but allow for the little brown bits to form at the bottom of the pan. Just don't burn it. Add the garlic in for about 30 seconds - 1 minute, mostly until you can smell the garlic. season with cumin to taste, add the bay leaf, and fry until aromatic add the beer, scrape the bottom of the pan while it cooks down into a thicker sauce (about 3 - 5 minutes) dump the canned beans in with the liquid from the can. bring back up to a simmer and let cook on low for 20-30 minutes. season with salt and pepper to taste. Sometimes I like to add a dash of Worcestershire to add some meatiness but that's optional. I generally serve with the packaged Vigo brand yellow rice (my great grandmother is rolling in her grave that I just dont make it from scratch but hey) with canned french peas on top, and I sprinkle some of the reserved raw onion on top of the black beans just before serving. The instructions seem complicated for a single can of beans but it's really pretty straightforward. Also, dirt cheap. You can make 4-6 servings of this for 10-15 bucks. Another quick childhood favorite: look for cube steaks (sometimes called minute steaks) at the store. If you can't find them, eye round steaks will work in a pinch. If you can only find eye round, wrap them in saran wrap and tenderize them by hitting them with a can of beans or something heavy. Fry some onion in olive oil in a pan (I like to cut them into thin ribbons for this) until they are golden brown or caramelized. Add garlic about 30 seconds - 1 minute before they are done. Remove from pan and set aside. Season the steaks with garlic salt or regular salt. Get the pan hot on medium high heat with some fresh oil and cook the steaks on each side for about 30 seconds each. Turn heat to medium low and add butter, worcestershre sauce, and the onion mix back in. Don't cook for long at this point. Just long enough to mix everything together.
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Jun 3, 2017 14:43
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A new concept has emerged from Europe and it involves a bird called the chicken. You kill them and cook their flesh and it's pretty good
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Jun 3, 2017 14:56
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did white wine mussels earlier, pretty easy and tasty Fry a few pieces of garlic (depending on taste) and some onion in olive oil, salt and pepper it, dump the mussels and white wine in and let simmer until taste good that's the basic recipe you can add all kinds of stuff like herbs, cream or milk is really tasty too, in france they serve mussels white a cream white wine sauce and fries, it's really good
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Jun 3, 2017 15:21
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who needs spices when you have Huy Fong's Sriracha sauce
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Jun 3, 2017 15:22
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Egbert's Chili recipe: 1 lb ground beef, turkey, or chicken (I usually use turkey) 1 can black beans 1 can white northern beans 2 cans diced tomatoes 1 sweet onion, minced 1 tbsp minced garlic 1 tbsp curry powder 1 tbsp chili powder 1 tbsp brown sugar 1 tsp cocoa 1 tsp cinnamon Brown the meat (drain if using beef), then brown the onions and garlic. Mix all ingredients together in crock pot and cook on low for at least four hours.
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Jun 3, 2017 15:27
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Too many beans
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Jun 3, 2017 15:33
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op it seams like you dont particularly like cooking or eating why not just make the jump to soylent
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Jun 3, 2017 15:54
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Here is an extra easy one that is good and probably sort of healthy Diced carrot Diced onion Scallions Curry powder Red lentils Basmati rice Chicken broth Just throw all that poo poo except the scallions in a pot and cook it covered for like 20 minutes, put sliced scallions on top. Voila You can also put chicken in if you want
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Jun 3, 2017 15:58
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| # ? May 6, 2024 03:54 |
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I'm just imagining this being the most important thing on earth to this person as they made it and feeling so sad.
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Jun 3, 2017 16:29
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