Fuck You, I'm A Dragon: Let's Play Choice of the Dragon

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Fuck You, I'm A Dragon: Let's Play Choice of the Dragon

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TheGreatEvilKing: Mar 28, 2016

Disdain

# ? Jun 8, 2017 03:21

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# ? May 4, 2024 22:34

dont be mean to me: May 2, 2007; I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars

Who gives a poo poo what the small people think? They'll be caremad for a few decades, and then they'll be dead, and I'll still be a motherfucking dragon.

# ? Jun 8, 2017 13:21

Junpei: Oct 4, 2015; Can't post for 11 years!

I don't care what others think posted:

Now we're going to view some flashbacks to your days as a wyrmling.

As a young hatchling, you lived with your mother in a cave high up on a mountain. Your mother had a vast hoard of treasure and a varied hunting range. Some of your siblings chose to spend much of their time reading the rare codices and scrolls your mother had collected. Other siblings spent their time hunting dangerous game and brawling with each other. Which pursuit did you prefer?

Reading.
Hunting.

Brutality: 16% - Finesse: 84%
Cunning: 83% - Honor: 17%
Disdain: 86% - Vigilance: 14%
Infamy: 52%
Wealth: 5000 gold coins
Wounds: Uninjured

# ? Jun 8, 2017 20:28

dont be mean to me: May 2, 2007; I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars

# ? Jun 8, 2017 22:26

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

Reading

# ? Jun 8, 2017 22:59

Junpei: Oct 4, 2015; Can't post for 11 years!

Take a look, it's in this book! posted:

A wise choice that made you more Cunning and taught you Finesse.

As you reached maturity, you began to threaten your mother's dominance over her territory. Before you could possibly have bested her in a direct confrontation, she threw you out of her lair and drove you from the lands in which you grew up, leaving you to fend for yourself without any resources beyond your claws, wings, and teeth.

Did you seek revenge on her by turning some of the humans in her lands against her, or did you consider petty revenge beneath you?

I sought revenge.
Revenge is beneath my dignity.

Brutality: 13% - Finesse: 87%
Cunning: 86% - Honor: 14%
Disdain: 86% - Vigilance: 14%
Infamy: 52%
Wealth: 5000 gold coins
Wounds: Uninjured

# ? Jun 8, 2017 23:06

Gilgamesh255: Aug 15, 2015

The old bat can bite my undefined crank for what she did, but that's no reason to send what amounts to a pest infestation towards her.

# ? Jun 8, 2017 23:20

dont be mean to me: May 2, 2007; I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars

Maybe some day revenge will happen, but not there and not then because using humans for revenge doesn't even count as trying.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 00:01

Junpei: Oct 4, 2015; Can't post for 11 years!

Peasants are rough and irritating and get everywhere posted:

Disdain for petty matters is essential for a dragon, as it avoids the pointless feuds that weaken you and allow your enemies to achieve great goals.

Manipulating peasants is also not the most honorable of activities for a mighty dragon such as yourself.

Your wise choice increases Disdain and Honor.

After several days of flight, you came across a tiny halfling travelling through the desert. Even from afar, your keen eyes detected the glint of gold and the sparkle of magic. This halfling has some sort of magic golden shield strapped to his tiny back.

You knew immediately that this treasure must be yours.

The halfling was far from civilization and would almost surely die soon of thirst and starvation. For the moment, he seemed to be protected by the power of the shield.

Did you kill him on the spot, ignoring his magical protections, or did you hover nearby and wait for the halfling to die, knowing that you might lose the treasure?

I waited for him to die.
I killed him on the spot.

Brutality: 13% - Finesse: 87%
Cunning: 69% - Honor: 31%
Disdain: 88% - Vigilance: 12%
Infamy: 52%
Wealth: 5000 gold coins
Wounds: Uninjured

# ? Jun 9, 2017 00:11

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

Wait for him to die

# ? Jun 9, 2017 00:16

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

We can wait.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 00:18

dont be mean to me: May 2, 2007; I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars

There will be more magic shields, and why waste your time and energy fighting a magic shield when the carrier is suffering from an attack the shield can't defend against already?

# ? Jun 9, 2017 00:21

Junpei: Oct 4, 2015; Can't post for 11 years!

At least he suffered a lot posted:

There's no reason you have to do all the dirty work yourself. A few hours later, the halfling stumbled, crawled for a while, and finally stopped. You easily plucked the treasure off of his body, saving yourself quite a bit of work.

Disdain and Finesse increase.

New challenger approaches! posted:

One of your elder clutchmates was an overbearing brute named Axilmeus. Axilmeus loved to torment the others, always seeking to seize what did not belong to him.

"Gorthalon," he said with a menacing grin, "give me that golden shield, or I will beat you within an inch of your life."

I gave him the shield to avoid a fight.
I dueled him for the shield.
I evaded him and hid the shield.

Brutality: 11% - Finesse: 89%
Cunning: 69% - Honor: 31%
Disdain: 90% - Vigilance: 10%
Infamy: 52%
Wealth: 5000 gold coins
Wounds: Uninjured

# ? Jun 9, 2017 00:25

dont be mean to me: May 2, 2007; I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars

come and get it

# ? Jun 9, 2017 00:36

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

He'll have to catch us first

# ? Jun 9, 2017 01:00

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Stand up to bullies - pop him in the snoot.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 01:27

Junpei: Oct 4, 2015; Can't post for 11 years!

Stand up to bullies posted:

Brutality and Honor increase.

You fought your hardest, but Axilmeus was a bit stronger than you; he pinned you to the ground and pried the shield out of your claws. Then he crushed the shield in his jaws, wasting the magical energies imbued within it, and spat it out at your feet. He laughed with a great roar as he flew away.

In-game stat reminder posted:

You have the following stats:

Brutality: 24% - Finesse: 76%
Cunning: 59% - Honor: 41%
Disdain: 90% - Vigilance: 10%
Infamy: 52%
Wealth: 5000 gold coins

Start the adventure posted:

You spend several weeks winging your way across the land. Life as a traveling dragon has much to recommend it�the freedom of the air, the thrill of the hunt, and plentiful sight-seeing opportunities.

On one particular night, sleeping peacefully under the stars, you awake to find yourself under attack. A gigantic elder dragon towers before you, whipping you hard with its tail. It must be at least four times your size!

"Whelp! How dare you sleep on my lands?"

Apologize.
Act tough.
Plead ignorance.
Fight back.
Play nice.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 01:30

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

Play nice for now, until we can find a way to kill him and take his stuff.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 02:51

TheGreatEvilKing: Mar 28, 2016

Sorry bro, you should put up a sign

# ? Jun 9, 2017 03:21

dont be mean to me: May 2, 2007; I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars

~~I don't see your mark on anything here~~

v v v Fi~ne, we'll be civil.

dont be mean to me fucked around with this message at 04:06 on Jun 9, 2017

# ? Jun 9, 2017 03:24

VivaLa Eeveelution: Apr 3, 2011

He's old and huge; it's very hard to tell people to go gently caress themselves if you're glittery dragon paste.

Let's play nice and hopefully learn some things from the draconic answer to Mr. Miyagi.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 04:02

Avalerion: Oct 19, 2012

Play nice until we can turn the table on him.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 06:38

Junpei: Oct 4, 2015; Can't post for 11 years!

I apologize, sir posted:

The elder dragon treats you with enviable Disdain. It soundly beats you out of its territory.

"Find your own lair!" it chortles.

Despite the advantages, it seems that homelessness has some rather severe downsides. After all, you have nowhere to store your treasure hoard!

The Dragoncave! posted:

A few days later, as you fly along, you see a large hill rising up from the land around it. Forests cover the lower slopes of the hill, giving way to grassy fields and then a rocky crag at the top of the hill. A large cave mouth opens into the promontory.

While you would have to check it out more carefully to be certain, you believe that the hill contains a fairly extensive cave complex. Plenty of game runs through the forest, with herds of sheep and even cattle in some of the valleys a short flight away. Looking beyond the immediate environs, several human villages and towns are well within a day's flight, offering the promise of easy pillaging to come, but none are close enough to make harassment and annoyance likely. In short, it appears to be a perfect lair.

Gob gob? posted:

As you fly down to claim your new lair, you spot a group of small, mostly bald, orange-skinned humanoids outside the cave. They look up and point at you in terror and alarm. Some of them flee into the cave, while others bravely shake crude, ineffectual spears at you.

"Don't eat me!" jabbers one of the goblins. "Eat Grubsh! He's got meat on him!"

The goblin who spoke pushes forward one of the other goblins with the butt of his spear. The other goblin, presumably Grubsh, drops his spear as he shakes in front of you.

How cute.

What do you do?

Scare them off.
Slaughter them all.

Brutality: 24% - Finesse: 76%
Cunning: 59% - Honor: 41%
Disdain: 90% - Vigilance: 10%
Infamy: 52%
Wealth: 5000 gold coins
Wounds: Uninjured

# ? Jun 9, 2017 18:05

Avalerion: Oct 19, 2012

Too bad we can't recruit them, could do with some minions. Just scare them off then I guess, actually killing them seems like way too much effort.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 18:31

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

They're too crappy to be worth our notice - let's take our lesson from the older dragon, roar a bit, and watch them flee.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 19:35

Junpei: Oct 4, 2015; Can't post for 11 years!

Piss off posted:

A mighty roar and a puff of smoke and fire are more than sufficient to scatter them. Almost no exertion, and they are gone. What's more, as you follow them into the cave, you find that they are quickly proffering food before you.

It can be good to have respectful minions.

Disdain and Finesse increase.

It's PERFECT posted:

The cave complex within the hill is everything you hoped for: it's defensible, spacious enough for a good hoard, and full of those greasy little goblins, who quickly acknowledge you as their eternal sovereign and overlord.

They give you the best of their treasure and the finest of their foods. Well, almost the finest. They burn the very best of their foods on a crude altar to their primitive goblin god. How do you react to that?

It is good for them to serve their god, as best they can.
As long as they're loyal to me, I don't care if they worship a unicorn covered with polka dots.
I should be the focus of all of their attention, not some stupid god!

Brutality: 20% - Finesse: 80%
Cunning: 59% - Honor: 41%
Disdain: 92% - Vigilance: 8%
Infamy: 52%
Wealth: 5000 gold coins
Wounds: Uninjured

# ? Jun 9, 2017 19:43

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

Let's take a page from the ancient Incans and let them worship their god, as long as they're loyal to us.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 20:08

Avalerion: Oct 19, 2012

Nice, we got minions after all.

Worship alone we could tolerate, but sacrificing to it what should be ours is over the line, make them get rid of their stupid god.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 20:47

Nevileen: Jan 4, 2008

Eh, Let them have their gods if they stay loyal. Religion is the opiate of the masses and all of that, and if we can eventually work ourselves into their mythos, even better.

# ? Jun 9, 2017 23:42

Junpei: Oct 4, 2015; Can't post for 11 years!

Sure, worship who you want posted:

The offerings are inconsequential, and you can ignore them easily. By tolerating their religion, you also secure the unswerving loyalty of the goblin shaman. Good job.

Disdain increases.

Goblins aren't smurt posted:

The goblins obey your every command, sometimes even anticipating your desires. They may be stupid, crude, and savage minions, but at least they're your stupid, crude, and savage minions.

Life is good.

Whatcha doin? posted:

A few days later, you hear the sound of squabbling from one of the other chambers. You poke your snout in and see that a rudimentary pit has been arranged and some of the lowest status goblins are being made to battle for the amusement of the chieftain (now your lieutenant). The fighting is savage, and it's clear that the losers will die.

They do not have my permission to waste their lives. This must stop!
It is well that they should fight for my amusement. Bring me some refreshments!
What the goblins do is beneath my notice, as long as they are ready to serve me.

Brutality: 20% - Finesse: 80%
Cunning: 59% - Honor: 41%
Disdain: 92% - Vigilance: 8%
Infamy: 52%
Wealth: 5000 gold coins
Wounds: Uninjured

# ? Jun 9, 2017 23:51

Wicked Them Beats: Apr 1, 2007; Moralists don't really *have* beliefs. Sometimes they stumble on one, like on a child's toy left on the carpet. The toy must be put away immediately. And the child reprimanded.

Leave them to their goblin business so long as they serve. Not our concern if they want to murder each other from time to time.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 00:08

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

Do the humans care when ants quarrel amongst themselves? Leave them to their fun.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 01:17

dont be mean to me: May 2, 2007; I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars

Gobs gonna gob.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 01:33

Junpei: Oct 4, 2015; Can't post for 11 years!

Don't care, going to sleep posted:

Your curiosity satisfied, you return to your main chamber and settle in. You now simply tune out the sounds of fighting from the goblin quarters. It is nothing worthy of your attention.

Disdain increases.

I WANT MY COWS AND GOLD posted:

You look down from your lair at the lands beyond your mountain. Those green lands are full of humans, and humans have large reserves of livestock and rich treasure. Shouldn't that food and wealth be yours instead?

It certainly should, and now!
You mean it isn't already?
Nothing enlivens a lair like cringing humans carrying tribute.

Brutality: 20% - Finesse: 80%
Cunning: 59% - Honor: 41%
Disdain: 93% - Vigilance: 7%
Infamy: 52%
Wealth: 5000 gold coins
Wounds: Uninjured

# ? Jun 10, 2017 01:42

Wicked Them Beats: Apr 1, 2007; Moralists don't really *have* beliefs. Sometimes they stumble on one, like on a child's toy left on the carpet. The toy must be put away immediately. And the child reprimanded.

Let's get us some cringing humans. The system only works if they all pay their fair share!

# ? Jun 10, 2017 01:49

dont be mean to me: May 2, 2007; I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars

Yea-ah~ I'm the - tax dra~gon

# ? Jun 10, 2017 03:53

TheGreatEvilKing: Mar 28, 2016

Git taxes

# ? Jun 10, 2017 05:59

Avalerion: Oct 19, 2012

Human minions would be a step up from goblins, let's get some tribute.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:23

AnAnonymousIdiot: Sep 14, 2013

What Avalerion said.

# ? Jun 10, 2017 07:57

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# ? May 4, 2024 22:34

Junpei: Oct 4, 2015; Can't post for 11 years!

I'll make them pay for it! posted:

How true, how true.

Let's be clear about why you plan on conquering the humans. What's most important to you?

I need to ensure a steady supply of prey.
I need an easy supply of princes and princesses to kidnap. I'm a stickler for tradition.
I need heaping great piles of gold and loot to adorn my lair.
I want to make humans into my terrified subjects.

No stat changes.

# ? Jun 11, 2017 18:43

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Fuck You, I'm A Dragon: Let's Play Choice of the Dragon

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