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This Is the Zodiac
Feb 4, 2003

Like most all goons I am afflicted with the lifelong sadbrains. I have a recurring fantasy where I just give up and check myself into a hospital. In my fantasy, I can just lie in bed all day, read, sleep, make artwork, and occasionally go to therapy. I'm sure this is not what real residential psychiatric treatment is like, but I would like to hear it from someone who has been there or knows someone who has.

Is it incredibly boring? What did you do all day?
What were the other patients like? Did you have to interact with them or did they mostly leave you alone?
If you left, why? If you're still there, shitposting from the hospital, why?

This Is the Zodiac fucked around with this message at 01:48 on Jun 5, 2017

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tuyop
Sep 15, 2006

Every second that we're not growing BASIL is a second wasted

Fun Shoe
There are many accounts of people who were admitted to psych wards on the internet. Sounds like a place for people who are in danger to be medically supervised and receive therapy. If you think you might hurt yourself, you should go to the emergency room and tell them that.

I don't think it's really like a vacation. It sounds like a lot of people are HEAVILY medicated.

Pixelante
Mar 16, 2006

You people will by God act like a team, or at least like people who know each other, or I'll incinerate the bunch of you here and now.
If you are able to ask yourself what an in-patient experience would be like, and care about the answer, you're likely not sick enough to meet admission requirements in my part of the world (British Columbia.) It's a really, really bleak place to be. It's where you go when you cannot take care of yourself, and burned every other bridge possible.

I worked administration in one. Among other things, I handled the paperwork that kept people admitted against their will. (That takes two psychs seeing the patient, and a department head signing off on it.) Lots of repeat customers. I found that in-patients were universally there so that the psychiatrists could hammer them with heavy trial-and-error dosing of medication in a place where they can't kill themselves, disturb anyone else, or self-medicate. The patients were dealing with nausea, disorientation, headaches, insomnia, grogginess, and a whole other grab-bag of side-effects/withdrawal. Your best-case ward neighbours are feeling so lovely as to be oblivious to you. More likely case is a roomie who cries a lot, has panic attacks, or has an annoying quirk they are incapable of moderating. It's profoundly boring and the coffee is decaf.

There were some group activities, but most of that came later. In-patient stage was pretty much just psychiatrists tinkering with neurochemicals.

Mileage may vary in a more for-profit health system. Canada is pretty crap for mental health services.

I LIKE COOKIE
Dec 12, 2010

A few questions that matter:

what country are you in?

if your in the US: what state?

are you an adult or a minor?

If your in the US the state your in matters a lot. Different states have vastly different budgets for these sorts of things. I have experience in 2 particular states.

One state was nice. The food was good, the staff was friendly, and There were ample activities to pass the time. I did meet a man who was faking it to stay there, he wasnt born in the US.

The other state was the opposite. They made it so miserable that soon you'll do anything to get out. Including faking being better, taking any pill they give you, anything. poo poo was like waterboarding. People screaming all day and night long, white walls, low ceilings, prison food, disgusting disease ridden crazies, yeah. On the bright side, after going through a place like this you'll probably feel better about your circumstances.

Also minors get it way better off. If your under 18 it will be a lot cushier. There's a lot less sympathy for adults.

All the places I've been in were meant to be short term, the average stay being 72 hours. from what I understand, you have to go through these short term places many many times before your ever considered to be placed in a Long-Term facility.

If I were you, I would not want to be placed in a long term facility (in the US).

Only those who do not recover are placed in long term. Think about what kind of people get committed and ask yourself if you want to be around these people forever.

but lol at fantasizing about going to a place like this. The easiest way to get in is to call 911 and say you want to kill yourself. Go find out for yourself. hope you have good insurance because this poo poo is going to be expensive as fuckkkkk. think your depressed now? wait til you have debt collectors loving you in the rear end and dragging you to court.



e: I guess i'll answer your questions if you answer mine.

Is it incredibly boring? What did you do all day? Meetings, Exercises, playing board games or drawing/writing. Its ok for a day or two, but by day 3 its mind numbingly boring.


What were the other patients like? Did you have to interact with them or did they mostly leave you alone?

lots of patient interaction, always. 2-8 people per room/bathroom, and anywhere from 15-45 people sharing one common room. There's a whole range of types of people. All of whom are either obviously crazy, suicidal, or just snap and freak out randomly. I've met hilariously awesome skitzos, creepy old pedos who try to touch EVERYONE regardless of age/gender, Ive seen a super angry dude rip a huge stainless steel thing out of the wall and hurl it at someone else. I've seen people so hosed up on meds they stood there and pissed their pants, people randomly getting punched in the face because of their attitude. A dude as old as time who could barely walk getting 1 hit KO'd by a tiny girl (rightfully so), People snapping at the tiniest things. These kinds of things are expected, any the only punishment I've ever witnessed is them being moved to another "wing".

Anything goes in the loony bin, and due to the nature of where your at there's really no repercussions. Ask yourself if you really want to be in a place where the person sitting next to you is liable to snap and freak out and spit in your face because yesterday you took too long at the water fountain. Or your roommate(s) have crazy night terrors where they grab you and shake you awake screaming "Mom!" "Mom!".

granted these kinds of things aren't just happening all day everyday, but if you stay for 3 days and dont come out with at least one really crazy story your incredibly lucky.

If you left, why? If you're still there, shitposting from the hospital, why?

I left because I didn't want to be there in the first place so I took the pills and they made me normal again. After a few days it starts to feel like your in a cage anyways, no matter how good the food is. Oh and no internet/phones/music of any kind is allowed. No music is honestly the worst, but I understand why its banned. If your imagining being able to have a computer in there and just chillen on the web peepin reddit while hot nurses tend to your every need then looool. If you get committed forever like you intend, you'll never see the internet again for the rest of your days.

I LIKE COOKIE fucked around with this message at 13:29 on Jun 4, 2017

turn off the TV
Aug 4, 2010

moderately annoying
I don't think that there are many, if any, long term psych hospitals that you can just check yourself into in the US. That's why there are do many mentally ill or disabled people who are homeless, or in prison.

I've only had one stint in a psych hospital, but it wasn't fun at all. Everything the goon above me said is pretty close to what I experienced, and I was apparently at the nicer facility in the area.

A lot of inpatient psychiatric facilities really are just for emergency stays while the patient is stabilized and holy poo poo did I want to leave as soon as I could. I didn't really have any responsibilities, no, but it was just very uncomfortable, boring and really unnerving to be around schizophrenics and violently suicidal people all the time. And oh boy, the bill for a four day stay was my yearly income, even after insurance.

Jayne Doe
Jan 16, 2010
This probably isn't quite what you're asking about, but I have spent quite a bit of time in inpatient/residential treatment for an eating disorder (some of which was spent on a locked ward, which I think is what most people think of when they think of 'psychiatric hospitals'). With that caveat, here are my answers to your questions -


Is it incredibly boring? What did you do all day?
Yes. It's incredibly boring, especially after you've been there for a while or after you've been hospitalized multiple times and so have seen most of the programming already. My longest inpatient stay was eight weeks, and by the end I was so desperate to leave and interact with the real world that I remember going to walgreens to pick up a prescription and just wandering around in awe, enjoying the feeling of no longer being confined to a single hallway and day room.

A typical day will include some groups, which can include occupational therapy, recreational therapy, physical therapy, process groups, DBT skills groups, CBT skills groups, ACT skills groups, etc. Since I've never been admitted for a diagnosis other than anorexia, I've always had a lot of structure around meals/snacks as well - three meals and three snacks per day, observed while eating at a glass table with no pockets, no hands below the table, no napkins, etc. They've also always kept track of fluid intake/output, to look for fluid retention and monitor for fluid restriction (which is somewhat common in people with eating disorders).

What were the other patients like? Did you have to interact with them or did they mostly leave you alone?
There's a huge range in the patient population, depending on what type of facility you're in. My experiences when I was on a locked ward that was used as overflow for other psychiatric wards was much different than when I was in residential treatment only for people with eating disorder diagnoses. One of my scarier experiences on the locked ward involved a psychotic patient who scared staff enough that they called security whenever they had to enter her room and/or administer her meds. She would randomly ask inappropriate questions or lash out (verbally, thankfully) at other patients. She'd also storm around and slam doors, throw things, tear out the phone receivers, stuff like that. This ward was also placed next to the isolation rooms for the child psych unit, so I got to observe a lot of combative children and/or very, very unhappy children in isolation. That behavior could range from just a lot of hysterical crying and pacing around and hitting things to a child who responded to "no, we can't let you out until you've been calm for fifteen minutes" by urinating on the floor.

Most of my experiences have been much more mild, since I've mostly been on eating disorder specific wards. A lot of people with eating disorders also have personality disorders, though, which can make the community somewhat turbulent. I did my best to avoid and stay out of the interpersonal drama, but it's amazing how quickly grown adults can descend to the level of middle-schoolers when you take away most of their control. I have seen people scream at staff about things like getting the wrong flavor yogurt or being asked to attend groups or sit in the day room.


If you left, why? If you're still there, shitposting from the hospital, why?
I have had multiple admissions (nine, I think? I haven't really bothered to keep track). I left for various reasons - sometimes because I didn't want to be there and was no longer legally holdable (I'm lucky that those experiences never ended in a commitment, given that it was discussed at times), sometimes because my treatment team felt that I was ready for discharge, sometimes because I needed to go back to work or school. I'm actually current an inpatient, but should be leaving in a few days because I need to start a summer job and am not legally holdable at the moment.

This Is the Zodiac
Feb 4, 2003

I LIKE COOKIE posted:

A few questions that matter:

what country are you in?

if your in the US: what state?

are you an adult or a minor?
I am an adult in the [redacted] of [redacted].

quote:

I did meet a man who was faking it to stay there, he wasnt born in the US.
I'd like to hear more about this guy, if I could.

Note: I am definitely capable of caring for myself and am not a danger to myself or others, so I know these places are not meant for me. I am, at least in theory, above faking mental illness to avoid work.

This Is the Zodiac fucked around with this message at 19:30 on Aug 17, 2017

RagnarokAngel
Oct 5, 2006

Black Magic Extraordinaire
Dedicated long term mental hospitals basically don't exist anymore. The Reagan years killed off most of them and the remaining few closed up shop since then.

There's been a push by the psychology field to move toward a more group home structure for long term care, and even that is usually reserved for people who are either incredibly mentally unstable, dangerous, or have a serious intellectual disability in addition to mental illness.

It's not to say they don't exist period but its incredibly unlikely youd qualify for one, and you're definitely romanticizing it.

Caufman
May 7, 2007

My Twitter Account posted:

Is it incredibly boring? What did you do all day?

It was fuckin legend.

I didn't have to do dishes, change clothes, go to class, have responsibilities, or pretend.

There were activities all day. I learned to knit, did basic origami, hiked a bunch, did art therapy. I think we were also allowed to completely check out and stay in bed all day, but a nurse would come to make sure we was still alive, and we'd still have our visit with the doctor.

quote:

What were the other patients like? Did you have to interact with them or did they mostly leave you alone?

I could avoid everyone except the nurse who made sure you're alive and the doctor who consults with you on your sadbrains. I did not have to hang out with anyone or have mandatory group therapy. I did, though, because the people at the hospital with me were rad and diverse. I did not keep in touch with them except in spirit. But I should have.

We did not talk directly about why we were there. But we had meaningful conversations anyway.

My hospital had two wards. One for people with interpersonal behavioral issues, and one for people without. I was in the without ward, so the people with me were deemed to need less social supervision than Ward A. The patients in Ward A would join us for some group therapy sessions and hikes. Though I could tell they had mental health problems that my Ward B patients didn't, I never saw one act violently to themselves or others.

quote:

If you left, why? If you're still there, shitposting from the hospital, why?

After enough days, the doctors and I decided I could safely leave in-patient care. I was on citalopram and had scheduled out-patient therapy. It was very effective.

I would have stayed, but my medical bill was weighing on me, and my doctors were not trying to get more business out of me. I had no health insurance at the time, but by grace I had enough savings from being able to work during periods when my sadbrains wasn't so burdensome, and I saved because buying things was meaningless.

I still shitpost from reality because of rebellion, but it's no longer a suicide risk.

N. Senada
May 17, 2011

My kidneys are busted
Watch out for Nurse Ratchet, she does not seem very nice OP

Caufman
May 7, 2007

N. Senada posted:

Watch out for Nurse Ratchet, she does not seem very nice OP

Easy enough on the eyes, though.

I LIKE COOKIE
Dec 12, 2010

My Twitter Account posted:

.
I'd like to hear more about this guy, if I could.

He was my roommate. Native Spanish speaker with decent English. After I told him my story he opened up to me and told me he was there because he liked it and he felt a sense of community that he didnt have on the outside. He was pretty annoying since he loved to pat people on the back or put his hand on your shoulder. Eventually he put his hands on the wrong person and got punched in the face a few times. The staff treated him as the one who started it and treated him like poo poo. Pretty sure the staff resented him. Everyone could tell he was just along for the ride, and didn't have any sort of mental health issue. The guy who beat him up was treated like the victim which was odd to witness. Anyways, he was there a week before me, and was there when I left. Guessing he stayed for another week or so before getting deported or whatever.

El Puerco
Feb 18, 2017
I can answer some questions.

What they do is out brainwave, then get your memory added to their pool of recovery trash. This means your brainwave gets outed to their's. They effect this within a mechanism called an outing or a slow shack, recover roarshack. This involves interrupting brainwave over and over again, creating an environment where anger is farmed, emotional swing, then "slowing" those people, including employees, who get the outed brainwave to their recover. This will be accompanied by a verbal report of roarshack from anyone near or recovering. The recovering are usually related due to their habit of following and accumulating around certain outed memories.

This is generally what they do. Other stuff is simply within the " recovering" structure, things mentioned above happen also but all that stuff is secondary to recovering a new persons brainwave, reporting it, getting your memory wave hooked to their families who recover roarshack outside institutions and getting you followed for the rest of your life.

I will answer some of this stuff here. Post Away.

El Puerco
Feb 18, 2017
"Before You decide your mentally ill make sure your not surrounded by assholes"

You learn that you have been followed, surrounded by an outing that started in childhood or before, eventually. Those are the assholes. This was effected the same way as the hospital effected your most recent outing that followed the brainwave and accumulated. This happens a lot. People don't always get that. Those people are the recovery ( or the outing) and those are the ones who did it. Some of those, or all of them will live or work at the state hospital. Those people are assholes.

FYI

El Puerco
Feb 18, 2017

My Twitter Account posted:

Like most all goons I am afflicted with the lifelong sadbrains. I have a recurring fantasy where I just give up and check myself into a hospital. In my fantasy, I can just lie in bed all day, read, sleep, make artwork, and occasionally go to therapy. I'm sure this is not what real residential psychiatric treatment is like, but I would like to hear it from someone who has been there or knows someone who has.

Is it incredibly boring? What did you do all day?
What were the other patients like? Did you have to interact with them or did they mostly leave you alone?
If you left, why? If you're still there, shitposting from the hospital, why?

First of all, for sadbrains I recommend St Johns wort tea for the prescribed period. 2 times a day for 12 weeks for the cox2 inhibitor that seems to work. Read that Label Please.

It's hard to get commited to the hospital. It takes a judge, two lawyers, you to get committed. This lasts for 6 months to 2 years, depending on your lawyer and your state of being.

Most people who end up there are sent to be evaluated by a judge. Depending on the statute, .....365, 10 days, .......370, 60 to 90 days.

Funny what you mention about laying around. You can do that even though they may say different. They are interrested in slowing you, the resident, to get your brainwave so it might be thought of to do that to them. The rules are arbitrary, all of them.
The treatment is a state of mind and you are really more in control than you think.

It's boring because there is not enough to do.

You could lay in bed all day everyday if you want. There is a schedule if you want one. The others are diverse, the employees even more so. Most are like you and me though, a bit troubled for whatever. Interracting with them is optional however they are nearby. You get your own room.

You leave when the IDT or Inter Disciplinary Team decides your evaluation is complete. However, without elaborating, all that happens there when being evaluated is extra legal and whether any violence is held against you is entirely up to the staff. If you are serving a sentence there, 5 to 20 years, the laws then apply without going into legalese.

El Puerco fucked around with this message at 08:06 on Jun 13, 2017

El Puerco
Feb 18, 2017
The State Hospital has a rule book called the Slater System that 14 States use as a model for this structure. An important misunderstanding is that you take drugs there. The rule book clearly states that you do not have to take any drugs there. The rules book is about 25 pages, I'll try to find a link to it.

http://www.bhddh.ri.gov/esh/pdf/Pt%20Handbook.pdf

https://www.oregon.gov/oha/osh/friends/Documents/Family%20Guidebook.pdf

Here are two rule books

El Puerco fucked around with this message at 08:39 on Jun 13, 2017

Scudworth
Jan 1, 2005

When life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons, and make super lemons.

Dinosaur Gum

El Puerco posted:

I can answer some questions.

Mmmm that's some good schizophrenia.

El Puerco
Feb 18, 2017
Tom Heinz said,

When life gives you lemons make lemonade. It was actually a poster. Now I want Tom Heintz dead, how things change, thanks.

Let me clarify that. I want all of the Tom Heintz line dead. All of them.

I'm nonviolent so I'll have to write a series explaining.

El Puerco fucked around with this message at 16:08 on Jun 13, 2017

quidditch it and quit it
Oct 11, 2012


Some call TCC, the joose is loose

El Puerco
Feb 18, 2017
A few facts about an anonymous state hospital

This one gets about $200 Million every year

This one has about 1800 employees at that campus not including other campuses that also use that money.

This one has about 700 residents or inmates, forgotten if that includes evaluations who are not sentenced.

The food has a 2 week rotation loosely and is better than the jail. There is usually fresh fruit available.

There are 3 HD televisions in a given ward or unit.

There are art supplies like pastel crayons, chalk, pens, paint, and various paper.

You have to be sent there by a judge but you can visit.

It costs $20,000 a month to keep someone there.

turn off the TV
Aug 4, 2010

moderately annoying
OP imagine this guy except he's your roommate.

cinni
Oct 17, 2008

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Just chiming in on some of my stays in psychiatric holds, which I prefer to call crazy people jail because that's what it feels like.

Ended up in there a few times in various places, but the most vivid time was a week in the high security ward. The days were quite boring; they had some half assed quick art classes and physical therapy but it was mostly you were on your own for the day. We didn't even have therapy sessions, group or solo. We did have a tv and computer though and one kid kept getting kicked off for downloading manga. The food was dire but I wasn't eating at the time anyway.

The patients mostly kept to themselves either quietly or loudly. The old ladies liked to scream a lot. I mostly talked to staff or this one cute boy who was in for having a police standoff with a crossbow while attempting suicide by cop. Otherwise I kept to myself. My appointed psychiatrist was very against medicating in any circumstance which was absurd and hellish considering what was going on with me at the time. I let him know what I thought of him often which probably didn't help that.

This was all in the Bay Area of California, by the way, as an adult female. It mostly just felt like lock up adult day care and the feeling of being confined with nowhere to run is soul crushing. I left because usually my parents sprung me once they saw how miserable and useless it was. Other times my time was up and they gave me a taxi voucher to get home. The first cigarette of freedom is so beautiful.

I don't recommend it if you have any sort of consciousness left.

Bobbie Wickham
Apr 13, 2008

by Smythe

Scudworth posted:

Mmmm that's some good schizophrenia.

Check out his post history. It's glorious.

9/11 was an inside job, People are "brainwave steelers" [sic], Brain chemicals are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, here's a video game to prove it, Nearly crashed trying to outrun the cops.

(Are you sure you didn't crash and suffer from TBI?)

Scudworth
Jan 1, 2005

When life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons, and make super lemons.

Dinosaur Gum
Thank you Bobbie

turn off the TV posted:

OP imagine this guy except he's your roommate.

ziggurat
Jun 18, 2017

by Smythe
el puerco, do you believe that the dead dream of the living

weak wrists big dick
Dec 18, 2012

good job. you are getting legitametly upset because I won't confrom to your secret internet cliques gross social standards. Sorry I don't like anime. Sorry I don't like being gross on the internet. Sorry that you are getting caremad.


your stupid shit internet argument is also only half true once I get probated, so checkmate anyways but nice try.

]
I tried to kill myself when I was 15 and had to go to an "acute care" followed by a "residential care" center. It's basically a private prison where you get to wear your own clothes. Every place is different, but usually it's very strict and structured. The fantasy of sleeping+reading+art is ludicrous, there is a tight schedule that they adhere to and more often than not your free time will be spent in a common area with people who are, surprise surprise, loving crazy. The doctors are always annoyed and grumpy, and they will most likely be from a foreign country and speak functional-yet-flawed English. If playing dominoes and cards with schizophrenics and manic depressives is your thing, go for it.

All in all, it just made me immediately/instantaneously stable and did not really help. I did not find true mental peace until I slowed waaaay down on marijuana, stopped drinking, began meditating daily, and started working a real job every day and providing for myself. These places tend to just treat the symptoms (depression etc) until they go away as opposed to teaching you the skills to solve the roots of your depression. It's way easier to give you pills and breathing exercises than it is to shrink down into your mind and adjust your perception of your childhood and give you healthy paternal/maternal role models and a stable upbringing.

Oh, and no shoelaces or belts. Oh, and your roommate is literally going through meth withdrawals and will break all of your things.

The food was alright though.


e: I'm just going to throw these book titles out here because at one time I was diagnosed as a schizophrenic (the diagnosis has been thrown out a few times by different doctors) and I believe they really helped me, and maybe they can help someone else:

Prometheus Rising by Robert Anton Wilson
A Little Book on The Human Shadow by Robert Bly
For Your Own Good by Alice Miller
He: Understanding Masculine Psychology by Robert A. Johnson (if u have a pp, op. idk if this book is good for girls)

Also look into Carl Jung. It's not as exact and it is probably a bad idea to go purely off of Carl Jung's stuff (especially if you don't know German), but the fairy tale language and hints of esotericism/mysticism in his works are enough to get you interested in the whole armchair psychology thing and might set you on the path to self observation exercises.

Good luck!

weak wrists big dick fucked around with this message at 16:13 on Jun 20, 2017

Prester Jane
Nov 4, 2008

by Hand Knit

turn off the TV posted:

OP imagine this guy except he's your roommate.

If he should be so lucky to as get a roomate as good as this one. At least El Puerco is genuinely trying to answer the questions being asked and despite the rambling nature of his response he is actually speaking on topic and giving as much germane insight into the experience as he can communicate. He could instead be using his babble to probe you and intensely study your reactions over a prolonged period of time in order to fine-tune babble designed to irritate and provoke specifically you- because that is the game he has invented to pass his infinite leisure time in eternal gray hell.


This thread has inspired me to write a thread about my experiences being homeless and receiving treatment for schizophrenia at a residential facility designed specifically for people who were both homeless and mentally ill. Should have the OP up in a couple hours.

CommieGIR
Aug 22, 2006

The blue glow is a feature, not a bug


Pillbug
I've never been to one, but my sister has, and it fits the stories others have told here: Its a jail where you wear your own clothing.

She said a lot of her fellow inmates (that's what she called them) were unstable and tended to blow up, freak out, or cry a lot at random and often were spouting paranoid delusional theories and ideas the rest of the time.
She said the food was mediocre but eatable and for the most part she compared it to a very strict day camp. She also said had she stayed any longer she could've died from the boredom.

El Puerco
Feb 18, 2017

ziggurat posted:

el puerco, do you believe that the dead dream of the living

Dead cannot dream and can only live from another's point of view

El Puerco
Feb 18, 2017

weak wrists big dick posted:

I tried to kill myself when I was 15 and had to go to an "acute care" followed by a "residential care" center. It's basically a private prison where you get to wear your own clothes. Every place is different, but usually it's very strict and structured. The fantasy of sleeping+reading+art is ludicrous, there is a tight schedule that they adhere to and more often than not your free time will be spent in a common area with people who are, surprise surprise, loving crazy. The doctors are always annoyed and grumpy, and they will most likely be from a foreign country and speak functional-yet-flawed English. If playing dominoes and cards with schizophrenics and manic depressives is your thing, go for it.

All in all, it just made me immediately/instantaneously stable and did not really help. I did not find true mental peace until I slowed waaaay down on marijuana, stopped drinking, began meditating daily, and started working a real job every day and providing for myself. These places tend to just treat the symptoms (depression etc) until they go away as opposed to teaching you the skills to solve the roots of your depression. It's way easier to give you pills and breathing exercises than it is to shrink down into your mind and adjust your perception of your childhood and give you healthy paternal/maternal role models and a stable upbringing.

Oh, and no shoelaces or belts. Oh, and your roommate is literally going through meth withdrawals and will break all of your things.

The food was alright though.


e: I'm just going to throw these book titles out here because at one time I was diagnosed as a schizophrenic (the diagnosis has been thrown out a few times by different doctors) and I believe they really helped me, and maybe they can help someone else:

Prometheus Rising by Robert Anton Wilson
A Little Book on The Human Shadow by Robert Bly
For Your Own Good by Alice Miller
He: Understanding Masculine Psychology by Robert A. Johnson (if u have a pp, op. idk if this book is good for girls)

Also look into Carl Jung. It's not as exact and it is probably a bad idea to go purely off of Carl Jung's stuff (especially if you don't know German), but the fairy tale language and hints of esotericism/mysticism in his works are enough to get you interested in the whole armchair psychology thing and might set you on the path to self observation exercises.

Good luck!

You might want to stop the Olanzapine and the Depacote to. Yung is good thanks.

El Puerco
Feb 18, 2017

Prester Jane posted:

If he should be so lucky to as get a roomate as good as this one. At least El Puerco is genuinely trying to answer the questions being asked and despite the rambling nature of his response he is actually speaking on topic and giving as much germane insight into the experience as he can communicate. He could instead be using his babble to probe you and intensely study your reactions over a prolonged period of time in order to fine-tune babble designed to irritate and provoke specifically you- because that is the game he has invented to pass his infinite leisure time in eternal gray hell.


This thread has inspired me to write a thread about my experiences being homeless and receiving treatment for schizophrenia at a residential facility designed specifically for people who were both homeless and mentally ill. Should have the OP up in a couple hours.

You are Recovery, you should apply your delusion to the state.

Prester Jane
Nov 4, 2008

by Hand Knit

El Puerco posted:

You are Recovery, you should apply your delusion to the state.

Speaking of schizophrenia and Randomly Capitalized Words.

Prester's Perspective posted:

I wanted to try and explain specifically how my mental illness impacts my thinking and how you can see some of the results of that in my use of capitalized words. Have you ever read something written by an unmedicated schizophrenic and it is full of Randomly Capitalized Words that seem to be used in such as way as to Convey A Deeper Meaning that is important to the author but Indecipherable to the reader? This is an artifact of how schizophrenics think, and I am far from immune to it. What I have done is adapt myself to it. Let me explain.

Part of my illness is an extremely enhanced pattern recognition. This pattern recognition stems from a part of my conscious experience that process data in a fundamentally different way, I call this part of my consciousness [Pattern], and it processes and arranges data in a way that is very different from how a healthy mind processes and arranges data. [Pattern] perceives connections and repetitions in things, and it also smashes these perceptions down into more manageable abbreviations. By and large, all that [Pattern] does is process data in an extremely abbreviated fashion, sniffing specifically for commonalities between disparate data sets and then creating abbreviated methods to reference them. In most Schizophrenics this manifests as the Schizophrenic thinking and trying to communicate using these abbreviated references that [Pattern] has created in their mind. Generally they are unaware of doing so and simply assume everyone else thinks in the same terms as well, so when they write something and use one of these abbreviated terms they subconsciously turn it into a Proper Noun to distinguish the abbreviated [Pattern] produced concept they are referencing from the literal meaning of the words. As the schizophrenic is completely unaware of this, they feel they are communicating very specific ideas quite clearly, and they can read their own writing back to themselves and understand its intended meaning just fine. I am certainly not immune to this.

When you see my capitalized terms like Compaction or Inner Narrative then these represent a conscious attempt on my part to harness this aspect of schizophrenia. Through a rigorous internal review process I constantly monitor myself for the formation of new [Pattern] produced concepts. My mind creates these somewhat at random (I can consciously direct the topic that these will be formed around, but cannot really influence them otherwise), and then I try and find the ones that hold up to scrutiny. When I find ones that hold up to scrutiny then I try and find ways to communicate these concepts in terms that healthy minds will understand. Although I have naming conventions and systems for all this internally, much of it is too abstract to explain, so the names I wind up using are often part of my attempt to communicate these ideas.

The goal here then is to take the regular incoherent babble of a schizophrenic and try and turn it into something coherent.

By the way, the more you guys interact with me and explore these ideas the more it helps me to understand both healthy thought and how to communicate these ideas to you. So again, thank you all so much for the opportunity to have this thread. It has been of immense value in my personal recovery in ways that I hope at some distant day will find a way to describe.

Prester Jane fucked around with this message at 02:34 on Jun 21, 2017

ziggurat
Jun 18, 2017

by Smythe

El Puerco posted:

Dead cannot dream and can only live from another's point of view
you bastard

weak wrists big dick
Dec 18, 2012

good job. you are getting legitametly upset because I won't confrom to your secret internet cliques gross social standards. Sorry I don't like anime. Sorry I don't like being gross on the internet. Sorry that you are getting caremad.


your stupid shit internet argument is also only half true once I get probated, so checkmate anyways but nice try.

]
El Puerco isn't a schizophrenic just a prophet speaking in an idioglossia that none of us can understand

weak wrists big dick
Dec 18, 2012

good job. you are getting legitametly upset because I won't confrom to your secret internet cliques gross social standards. Sorry I don't like anime. Sorry I don't like being gross on the internet. Sorry that you are getting caremad.


your stupid shit internet argument is also only half true once I get probated, so checkmate anyways but nice try.

]
e: highly irrelevant, thought I was posting in GBS

El Puerco
Feb 18, 2017

weak wrists big dick posted:

El Puerco isn't a schizophrenic just a prophet speaking in an idioglossia that none of us can understand

I am simply stating facts, you are restating, that is recover

shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005


This explains so much about TVTropes.

Seriously though PJ I love your writings about the structure of authoritarian thinking and the inner/outer/grand narrative, it really fits what I observed and experienced growing up in a super-baptist church in the deep south and was very helpful explaining the last presidential election to people who didn't. Do you have a link to the entire series handy?

Prester Jane
Nov 4, 2008

by Hand Knit

shame on an IGA posted:

This explains so much about TVTropes.

Seriously though PJ I love your writings about the structure of authoritarian thinking and the inner/outer/grand narrative, it really fits what I observed and experienced growing up in a super-baptist church in the deep south and was very helpful explaining the last presidential election to people who didn't. Do you have a link to the entire series handy?

Got ya covered

Lonely Virgil
Oct 9, 2012

Is it incredibly boring? What did you do all day?

Watched TV mostly they had cable and VHS/DVD player but they had a small collection of VHS. Chess, card game, and coloring book prints outs. One unit had a WII but they only had WII Sports. We couldn't watch a lot of shows or movies but we got away with watching RoboCop because the 2nd shift guys were cool. The only fun groups were music, art, and recreation.

What were the other patients like? Did you have to interact with them or did they mostly leave you alone?

Most people were drug addicts, and out of 3 of inpatient stays 2 were during the winter so there was homeless people too. One homeless dude had a food hoard in his room and attracted rats. My third stay there were two old women with dementia, one walked up and down the hallways cackling all through the first night she arrived but she was ok. The other always got mean and pissed herself all the time, walked out into the common area with no pants on once. There was a mentally challenged woman who had a nasty temper. There wasn't a day where she didn't have 3 meltdowns also pissed herself all the time and walked around with no pants. She would always try to get in fights with the two old women and once she threw a magazine at the first one but the old woman just picked up the magazine and read it.

She threw both of my 16 oz cups against the wall in one of her fits and we only got to go to the cafeteria once a week to replace our 16 oz cups. I was pissed each time it happened those cups were my babies the whole month I spent there.

If you left, why? If you're still there, shitposting from the hospital, why?

My first two stays I kept being misdiagnosed and given meds that weren't helping so I'd stop taking them and get worst and end right back where I am. The third time I had a doctor that actually did his job and I got the right diagnoses, on meds that work haven't been back in 4 years. I stayed a whole month last time because I didn't have anywhere to be discharged to, but I got somewhere to stay. Before that I stayed 10 days each. As for what's wrong with my brain I have bipolar.

The food was okay, not really gross and we got to go to the cafeteria on Wednesdays to get cheesesteaks, soda, larger slices of cake, and deep fried goodness but actual, caffeinated coffee. You used to be able to get outside food from visitors and order take out but they stopped that when someone smuggles in pot brownies. We got snacks twice a day. There were smoke breaks for people that smoked. One person per room with a bathroom you shared with one other person so you had some privacy. No door on the bathroom so it can get awkward. You had to go to your room at 10pm.

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Caufman
May 7, 2007

El Puerco posted:

Dead cannot dream and can only live from another's point of view

It seems so.

What is Recovery?


No one is so Typical that they cannot recognize the Value of the Capitalization.

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