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Hello friends - today we will witness the UEFA Champions League final, with Real Madrid facing off against Juventus at Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, Wales. Real Madrid have won the most European Cup/Champions League titles in history (11), and have won the CL twice in the last 3 years. Meanwhile, Juventus have a reputation for not winning in the Champions League, with 2 titles in 8 EC/CL finals, and last won the CL title in 1996. Both clubs won their domestic league titles this season, with Juventus winning the Serie A and Coppa Italia titles for the 3rd straight season, as such they are in line for an elusive treble with a victory this evening. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgomX3qD-iA The Location Millennium Stadium in Cardiff, Wales. The roof will be shut because it is expected that ISIS, al-Qaeda, the IRA and the Camorra will attempt to fly terrorist drones into the stadium. After the final, it will go back to it's primary purpose, hosting concerts for Robbie Williams and Justin Bieber. The Managers Real Madrid are led by Zinedene Zidane, a legendary player for both Juventus and Real Madrid. He won every conceivable award and title as a player for club and country, and has inspired the creation of wonderful artistic endeavors. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrOLGifnMJk Juventus are managed by Massimiliano Allegri, widely regarded by Something Awful forum moderators to be the greatest tactician in the sport. Max is a master motivator, his impassioned instructions to his team can usually be heard ringing through the terraces.  The Players - Real Madrid Real Madrid feature the talents of Cristiano Ronaldo, the reigning Ballon d'Or winner and the leading goal scorer in Champions League history with 103 goals. Forums poster Mean Bean Machine has documented his talents and physical perfection perhaps better than any other person, click here for more information. The man is a true legend, and as such has been immortalized by some of the finest artists on the planet.  Ronaldo lines up alongside French striker Karim Benzema, best known for loving a 15 year old prostitute and blackmailing France teammate Mathieu Valbuena with a copy of a sex tape featuring Valbuena, and Gareth Bale, a Welsh science experiment gone wrong that has led to simian features, premature male pattern baldness, and being prone to injury. Bale has been out of action for over a month, and may not start today. Madrid's midfield features Toni Kroos, a classic center mid, Casemiro, a Brazilian that kicks the poo poo out of people instead of doing stepovers and other fancy dan poo poo, and Luka Modric, a Croatian elf. In defense, Madrid are captained by Sergio Ramos, a clown known for red cards, missed penalties, and scoring some of the most clutch goals you'll ever see by a defender. He is paired with young Frenchman Raphael Varane, who has pushed anthrophomorpic penis Pepe to the bench. On the left is Marcelo, the best player in the world at his position and one of the most in-form players on the planet right now. Warning: this video contains Ray Hudson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRH1MoWIphI Rounding out the back line are Spanish right back Daniel Carvajal, and Costa Rican goakeeper Keylor Navas, perhaps most widely known for a failed transfer to Manchester United in exchange for David de Gea that was foiled by a password protected .pdf file. Just kidding, he's a fine player, as Good Forums Poster and fellow Tico Simone Poodoin will affirm. Other key players for Real Madrid include striker Alvaro Morata, who spent the last 2 seasons at Juventus, creative midfielder Isco, who is actually quite likely to start today's final, James "Hamez" Rodriguez, who moved to Madrid on a mega-galactico transfer fee but is likely making his final Madrid appearance tonight, versatile defenders Nacho and Danilo, and talented young midfielders Mateo Kovacic, Marco Asensio, and Lucas Vazquez. The Players - Juventus The main story line from the Juventus side is legendary goalkeeper and Juve captain Gigi Buffon getting the opportunity to add a Champions League title to his name. Buffon is 39 years old but still one of the best keepers in the sport. Buffon has conceded only 3 goals in 12 Champions League matches this season, with 9 clean sheets. Buffon is a legend, and an absolute freak of nature. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3J4Mkks5W5k Juventus are well known for their impressive back line, led by center back Leonardo Bonucci, perhaps the best CB in the game today. Bonucci was always talented but prone to error in his younger days, but over the past couple of seasons has finally put it all together. He's an incredible passer for a defender, and is crucial to Juve's possession and distribution. Alongside Bonucci is hard man Giorgio Chiellini, who complements Bonucci's polish with physical play and intensity. The Juve back line features another ageless wonder, Andrea Barzagli, who at 36 years old is still at the top of his game. Barzagli is typically a center back in Juve's 4-2-3-1 and 3-5-2 formations, but is expected to start at right back tonight. At left back is Brazilian Alex Sandro, quite possibly the 2nd best player at his position after Real Madrid's Marcelo. Sandro is key to Juve's attack, with runs up the left flank and can cross or cut inside. The Juventus midfield is anchored by Miralem Pjanic, who moved over from Italian rivals Roma last summer to essentially replace Paul Pogba, who left on a world record transfer fee. Pjanic had a slightly shaky start to his Juve career, but has taken to the regista role in Juve's 4-2-3-1 formation. He's also a deadly free kick specialist. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viEo5RDLr68 He's paired with former Real Madrid man Sami Khedira, who many forums posters consider to be absolute poo poo, but he's actually pretty cool and good so don't buy the poo poo they're peddling. Expect him to get a red card today since I defended him here. Juve's attack is led by another former Real Madrid player, the pleasantly plump Gonzalo Higuain. Higuain moved to Juventus from one of Juve's other current Italian challengers Napoli, after Juve triggered his eye-watering €90 million exit clause with the proceeds from the Pogba transfer. As the man himself said, "It is better if you keep saying I'm fat, I will continue to score goals" - so we did, and he did.  Behind Higuain is a trident featuring another Argentine, Paulo Dybala, who is possibly Juve's most important player in attack, setting up teammates and providing a link with the midfield. On the left is massive Mario Mandzukic, who has been a revelation on the left wing by dropping deep to help fill the space when Sandro pushes forward and providing traditional big man hold-up play in the middle of the park. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMLjwxPIz-E Colombian Juan Cuadrado has typically started on the right, but tonight Allegri is expected to start former Barcelona man Dani Alves in that position. Alves has been the difference maker for Juventus in the Champions League, with 2 assists in the first leg of the CL semifinal against Monaco, and scored the late winner in the second leg victory that sent them to Cardiff. Other key contributors that may see time tonight are CB Medhi Benatia, who would start for most teams but is 4th choice CB for Juve, local Turin midfielder Claudio Marchisio, who is still rediscovering his form after knee reconstruction surgery last year, right back Stephan Lichtsteiner, who was actually dropped from Juve's CL squad for the group stages this year but fought his way back into the squad for the knockouts, and left back Kwadwo Asamoah, who offers a similar skill set as Sandro. As my avatar would lead you to believe, I'm a shithead American Juventus plastic, so this post probably reflects that bias. Here's hoping for a great final, some great posts, and hell, a Juventus victory. Here are some other tidbits that I stole directly from the BBC: - This is the 19th encounter between Juventus and Real Madrid - all in the European Cup/Champions League, making this the second-most played fixture in the history of the tournament after Bayern Munich v Real Madrid (24). - Juventus and Real Madrid have eight wins each and two draws. However, their only previous meeting in the Champions League final saw Real Madrid win 1-0 in 1998 thanks to a Predrag Mijatovic goal. - Real Madrid have reached the European Cup/Champions League final for the 15th time, four more than any other club (AC Milan have reached 11). They've won 11 of the previous 14 - again more than any other team in history. - Juventus have won only two of their eight European Cup/Champions League finals. They've lost their last four - in 1997, 1998, 2003 and 2015. - Real Madrid are attempting to become the first team since AC Milan (1989, 1990) to win back-to-back European Cup/Champions League trophies. - Real Madrid have reached the final for the third time in four seasons. - Juventus are the only unbeaten team in this season's Champions League - they have won nine and drawn three. They are the first team since Atletico Madrid in 2013/14 to reach the final without losing a single game. - Juventus have conceded only three goals in 12 Champions League games this season. Only one team had reached the final with fewer goals conceded under the current format (since 2003/04) - Arsenal in 2005/06 (2). - Real Madrid have scored in every single one of their 12 games in the Champions League this season (32 goals, most prolific attack) but have also kept only one clean sheet, against Atlético Madrid in the semi-final first leg (3-0). - Juventus have never trailed at any point in this season's knockout phase. - If he plays, Gianluigi Buffon will be the third oldest player to feature in a European Cup/Champions League final (39 years, 4 months) after Dino Zoff (41 years, 2 months in the 1983 final) and Edwin van der Sar (40 years, 6 months in the 2011 final). Please note that any references to #FakeNews Calciopoli will be met with a likely ban or probation from our Italian moderator, as he knows that "sul campo" is where it counts. Also any references to Juve being "merda" or insinuations regarding "Juve vaffanculo" will also go onto your permanent posting record, which just isn't worth it imo. trem_two fucked around with this message at 17:59 on Jun 3, 2017 |
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Jun 3, 2017 17:56
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 15:32 |
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That's a hell of an OP, I learned things. I would like Juventus to win but Sergio Ramos was at 8/1 to score any time so I've also backed that quite heavily.
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Jun 3, 2017 18:14
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i, too, welcome a Juventus win, but suspect the Mighty Whites will edge out the Old Lady
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Jun 3, 2017 18:18
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Outstanding OP, OP. Keylor Is a good lad and I love him, I love my 32nd cousin Ronald too but tonight they are going to cry in defeat.
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Jun 3, 2017 18:25
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Any right-minded individual would realise that it is only proper to support Juventus and the legend that is Buffon
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Jun 3, 2017 18:31
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yessssssss
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Jun 3, 2017 18:37
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That's a good OP, OP but https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odZeT8T88f8
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Jun 3, 2017 18:38
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Lemon posted:Any right-minded individual would realise that it is only proper to support Juventus and the legend that is Buffon Madrid are also huge assholes, so there's two good reasons
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Jun 3, 2017 18:40
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quote:anthrophomorpic penis Pepe loving lmao
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Jun 3, 2017 18:43
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Gigi Galli posted:That's a good OP, OP but *begins scribbling notes in my Paulo Dybala Trapper Keeper*
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Jun 3, 2017 18:44
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Gigi Galli posted:That's a good OP, OP but I for one agree with our mod
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Jun 3, 2017 18:44
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great OP. would prefer if juventus won, three CL in four years is too many for any team
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Jun 3, 2017 18:47
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Jun 3, 2017 18:52
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I think Madrid will win and Mr. Cristiano Ronaldo will score at least one (1) goal.
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Jun 3, 2017 19:01
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why do they keep going on about the roof being closed
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Jun 3, 2017 19:03
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No James so I'm sure hes off
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Jun 3, 2017 19:05
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Come on the old lady!
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Jun 3, 2017 19:08
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Blue Star Error posted:Come on the old lady! - Wayne Rooney
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Jun 3, 2017 19:09
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As expected https://mobile.twitter.com/juventusfcen/status/871063624432967683
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Jun 3, 2017 19:09
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"I don't think Higuain is going to take his shirt off", lol
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Jun 3, 2017 19:18
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no cuadrado is that normal? he seemed to do well so far in the cl
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Jun 3, 2017 19:23
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fat greasy puto posted:no cuadrado is that normal? he seemed to do well so far in the cl Allegri has been using this lineup lately in "big matches".
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Jun 3, 2017 19:27
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Cuadrado can come on at 65 minutes and run Marcelo ragged after Dani Alves has frustrated him
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Jun 3, 2017 19:27
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ETA till Casemiro gets booked?
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Jun 3, 2017 19:29
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I'm firmly in camp Buffon today. Really want him to get his hands on the trophy.
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Jun 3, 2017 19:31
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Gigi Galli posted:- Wayne Rooney lol
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Jun 3, 2017 19:31
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Gigi Galli posted:- Wayne Rooney 
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Jun 3, 2017 19:33
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Oh good, relevant music group Black Eyed Peas are here.
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Jun 3, 2017 19:36
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trem_two posted:Oh good, relevant music group Black Eyed Peas are here. Uh oh, are we getting some kind of retarded "opening" ceremony??
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Jun 3, 2017 19:37
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Holy poo poo they sound terrible
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Jun 3, 2017 19:38
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Why are the Black Eyed Peas still a tihng
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Jun 3, 2017 19:38
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What the gently caress is this
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Jun 3, 2017 19:38
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Hegay posted:Uh oh, are we getting some kind of retarded "opening" ceremony?? It's quite a spectacle
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Jun 3, 2017 19:38
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Do they just do nothing but opening ceremonies noe
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Jun 3, 2017 19:38
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Oh loving hell
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Jun 3, 2017 19:38
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I can't tell if they sound as bad or worse than usual. Shite either way.
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Jun 3, 2017 19:39
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Where's the lady who sings with them
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Jun 3, 2017 19:39
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trem_two posted:It's quite a spectacle UEFA and FIFA are not good at this
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Jun 3, 2017 19:39
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Hegay posted:Uh oh, are we getting some kind of retarded "opening" ceremony?? No they used the censored version of that song 
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Jun 3, 2017 19:39
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 15:32 |
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They look really old
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Jun 3, 2017 19:39
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