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KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008


____________________________


Extreme Rules Results

WWE Universal Championship #1 Contender Fatal Five Way Extreme Rules Match
Samoa Joe defeated Finn Balor, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, & Bray Wyatt by making Finn tap out.

WWE Cruiserweight Championship Submission Match
Neville defeated Austin Aries by Submission to retain his title. Aries almost got counted out and DQed in a Submission Only match when Neville tapped out outside the ring.

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship Cage Match
Sheamus & Cesaro defeated The Hardy Boyz to become the Raw Tag Champs. Jeff Hardy jumped back into the cage after escaping like a dummy.

WWE Raw Women's Championship Kendo Stick on a Pole Match
Alexa Bliss defeated Bayley in a bad squash match to retain her title.

Mixed Tag Match
Sasha Banks & Rich Swann defeated Noam Dar & Alicia Fox when Swann pinned Dar.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match, If Dean Gets DQed He Loses the Title
The Miz defeated Dean Ambrose via pinfall to become a 7 time Intercontinental Champion.

Pre-Show Kick-Off Match
Kalisto defeated Apollo Crews w/ Titus O'Neil
____________________________


Money in the Bank June 18th

WWE Championship Match
Jinder Mahal w/ Singh Brothers vs. Randy Orton

Money in the Bank Match
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles vs. Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Sami Zayn

First Ever Women's Money in the Bank Match
Tamina Snuka vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Natalya vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella w/ James Ellsworth

WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match
The Usos (c) vs. The New Day

____________________________

Great Balls of Fire(lol) on July 9th

WWE Universal Championship Match
Brock Lesnar(c) w/ Paul Heyman vs. Samoa Joe

____________________________

Raw Results

Taken from Wrestling Observer

Bray Wyatt came out and said last night was the beginning of the end. He had a chance to slay the beast and to save everyone from damnation, but instead of arming him with his sword, they took it from him and sank it right in his heart. But he is still here and alive and still every bit of the God he's always been. That is why he's here to cast judgement on all of those who are guilty: Finn Balor was guilty, Joe was guilty, Seth Rollins was guilty, and Roman Reigns was guilty. He has made a vow, one-by-one, they must all be punished, starting tonight with Reigns.

Reigns walked out to face Wyatt, who laughed and told Reigns he was right on cue. Loud dualing chants of "Roman sucks" and "Let's go Roman" as Reigns grabbed the microphone from Wyatt and told him the chants were the reason why he was the guy. He asked if Wyatt knew what happens when Wyatt runs his mouth in his yard, then punched Wyatt in the mouth. That led to a match.

Roman Reigns defeated Bray Wyatt (19:29)

After Reigns hit a series of clotheslines, Wyatt got a boot up in the corner and threw Reigns' shoulder into the post. Reigns rolled out of the ring, where Wyatt delivered a senton. Reigns' first Superman punch attempt was thwarted when Wyatt ducked and delivered an uranage for a two count. Wyatt placed Reigns on the second rope, but Reigns hoisted Wyatt into a Liger Bomb. Wyatt moved out of the way of one Superman punch, but Reigns nailed Wyatt on the rebound, but Wyatt kicked out. Reigns called for the spear, but Wyatt went to the floor. Reigns ran around for the drive-by, only to have Wyatt recover quickly and deck Reigns with a clothesline. Reigns barely beat the ten count back in the ring and got booed for doing so. Wyatt tried Sister Abigail, but Reigns reversed it into a schoolboy cradle. Wyatt kicked out, but Reigns hit the Superman punch, and finished off Wyatt with the spear. Crowd was lively the whole way and it was a good match.

One note of interest was Michael Cole said that Reigns beat Undertaker at WrestleMania and sent him "into possible retirement."

Charly Caruso talked with Enzo Amore and Big Cass. She asked Enzo about being victimized by multiple attackers. Enzo said he didn't know who it was. Cass said it was insulting that anyone would think that he would attack Enzo and he would be watching Enzo's back at all times from now on. Enzo turned his attention to Caruso, but noticed that when he turned his back, Cass walked off and wasn't watching it.

They showed Bayley suffering more welts across her back after last night's Kendo stick on a pole match with Alexa Bliss. Cole said that Bayley was home tonight recovering from her injuries. Bliss walked up to Angle, who was still looking at his cell phones wondering about last week's mysterious text message. Bliss wondered if he was going to congratulate her. She said she was done with Bayley and she wanted to celebrate her life tonight. She proposed: Alexa Bliss, This is My Life. Angle said that was a terrible idea because last week's This is Your Life segment was one of the worst segments in the history of Raw. Crowd went wild over that line. Angle reminded Bliss that she said she would defend the Raw Women's Championship against Nia Jax if she defeated Bayley, and he ordered her to face Jax tonight for the championship. Bliss said "Seriously?" again and again.

Elias Samson was in the ring with his guitar and asked the crowd "Who wants to walk with Elias?" He saw a leaf fall down beside the highway and it inspired him to write this song. He started singing a song that ran down Ambrose, who interrupted him. Ambrose punched Samson with a microphone and went crazy, throwing Samson around ringside. Ambrose grabbed the microphone and said he was only here to fight the Miz for an Intercontinental Championship rematch. Miz appeared on the big screen with Maryse. Miz said there wasn't going to be a rematch tonight. Instead, there would be a kickoff celebration of the Miz's comeback tour. Samson hit Ambrose from behind and gave him the swinging neckbreaker.

After a commercial, Ambrose barely sold taking Samon's finisher while he stalked Miz backstage. Ambrose found Angle and told him he wanted to fight the Miz. Angle told Ambrose to calm down because he wouldn't have his rematch tonight. Angle said Miz has already planned his championship celebration and Angle said he wanted Ambrose to take the night off. Ambrose wanted to wait in Miz's dressing room, but Angle ordered Ambrose to leave the building.

Joe came out. He will officially face Lesnar at the Great Balls of Fire PPV. Crowd chanted "Joe." He said what stand before you is someone who doesn't fear Lesnar. He said Lesnar has everything he wants. Joe wants Lesnar's ability to invoke fear in other men at his behest. Joe wanted Paul Heyman to be his advocate and to negotiate his contracts and run his errands. Most importantly, Joe wants Lesnar's Universal Championship. Joe said at Great Balls of Fire, he will be staring Lesnar in the eye and he will take the championship from Lesnar.

Heyman showed up to a big pop. Heyman said "There he is. The #1 contender for the Universal title, and rightfully so." He called Joe a bad rear end who ate through four other contenders to become the top contender. He said Joe has left wreckage every place he's ever been his entire career. Heyman asked for permission to enter the ring and said he understands Joe doesn't fear Lesnar, and Lesnar doesn't fear Joe, either. What bothers Heyman about Joe is that Joe likes the fact that Lesnar doesn't fear Joe. Heyman said he worries for a living, he worries about the opponents that Lesnar faces. But Lesnar constantly assauges his fears, whether it was the Rock, John Cena, Goldberg, etc.

Heyman said two weeks ago, he wanted to see Lesnar vs. Balor because it would be a Rocky story, a license to print money. Heyman said Joe was the worst case scenario because Joe doesn't fear Lesnar. He said Joe wants to go to war with Lesnar. Heyman said it was his job in life to make sure that Lesnar is Joe's worst-case scenario at Great Balls of Fire. He said if Joe wanted Brock Lesnar, he's got Brock Lesnar. They shook hands. Heyman started to leave, but Joe grabbed Heyman. Joe had a conversation with Heyman off mic, but it was picked up by the corner camerman. Joe calmly told Heyman that he was going to place his hands around Heyman's neck, Heyman's vision was going to get hazy and he was going to pass out. He wanted Heyman to carry this as a message back to Lesnar that this was a message to him. And he wanted Heyman to describe to Lesnar, in excrucating detail, that this was because of him. Just as he vowed, Joe put Heyman in the Coquina Clutch. Heyman tapped like crazy and passed out. Crowd chanted "We want Brock." Joe grabbed a microphone and said "And so do I." Referees ran out to check on Heyman.

Backstage, Angle got in Joe's face and asked what was wrong with him. Joe said he was going to take out whoever was in his way of Lesnar and he asked Angle if he was in his way. Angle and Joe had a brief staredown when Rollins walked in and said he hadn't forgotten about Joe nearly ending his career in March. He challenged Joe for a match tonight and Angle made it official. Joe told Rollins "The mistakes me make, Seth, the mistakes we make."

Raw Tag Team Champions Cesaro and Sheamus defeated Heath Slater and Rhyno in a nontitle match (1:41)

No ring entrance for Heath Slater and Rhyno. Slater tried to make a hot tag, but Cesaro pulled Rhyno off the apron. Sheamus pinned Slater after the Brogue kick.

Sheamus and Cesaro did a postmatch interview saying that was how an intelligent team wins. They asked the crowd who was happy that Jeff and Matt Hardy came back. Cesaro said the Hardys picked the match that they couldn't win. Cesaro said they don't just set the bar, they are the bar.

TJP found Neville backstage. TJP asked about their deal regarding the cruiserweight championship match he wants. TJP said he's solved the Austin Aries problem, now it's time for Neville to hold up his end. Neville said TJP was right and if TJP handles his business, Neville will talk to Angle.

TJP defeated Mustafa Ali (2:43)

Mustafa Ali teased the inverted 450, but TJP kicked him off the ropes and hit the Detonation Kick for the pin.

Neville came out and told TJP he spoke to Angle about his championship opportunity. Neville said that he was afraid he had some unfortunate news. TJP thought that meant he wasn't getting his championship match and started to walk to the back so he could meet with Angle. Neville nailed TJP from behind, rammed his head onto the ramp and screamed that TJP wasn't on his level. Then he told TJP that he would get his championship match on 205 Live tomorrow night.

Goldust did a promo saying R-Truth thinks he can sit in his director's chair. He said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and consider him smitten. Goldust has seen the truth and has seen the bigger motion picture here. Soon, the brightest stars in the sky will be glittered in gold. He said the Golden Age is back.

Dana Brooke and Mickie James talked to Sasha Banks backstage. Bliss walked in and said "Hey, guys." Banks looked at her and said "no." She left. Bliss kissed up to James and Brooke saying that Jax didn't deserve a championship match ahead of them. Bliss said they had a Nia Jax problem and their sisterhood shouldn't stand for it. Brooke told Bliss that "they" didn't have a Jax problem, Bliss did. James said she and Bliss would be at ringside to watch their championship match tonight.

As Cole, Booker T and Corey Graves were in the middle of a segue, Angle walked out and pulled Graves aside. They discussed another text message that Graves received. When Graves got back on the mic, Cole wanted to talk about what was going on with Angle. Graves did not and quickly shifted attention to Kalisto's ring entrance.

Angle again was looking at his phone backstage. Mike Rome asked what was going on with Angle, who said it was a private matter. Angle left the building. Ambrose, who had been outside, held the door open and snuck back in, defying Angle's orders.

Kalisto pinned Titus O'Neil (1:22)

Akira Tozawa watched the match backstage. Michael Cole explained there was a Facebook angle earlier in the day (which was never shown) where Titus O'Neil told Tozawa that after he pinned Kalisto, he wanted Tozawa waiting for him at the curtain so Tozawa could learn more about the Titus brand. Kalisto reversed a lateral press and pinned O'Neil by holding his trunks, just like O'Neil pinned Kalisto last week. Apollo Crews laughed about O'Neil losing.

Miz was backstage with Maryse. He looked across the way and found Cass laid out. A referee and Amore rushed over to check on him. Cass awoke and handed Amore a chain that looked like something Amore would wear. Amore said the chain was stolen by someone who attacked him last week. Cass looked suspicious of that claim. Enzo said they had a match coming up. The referee told Enzo he was going to find a new partner. Enzo said he couldn't wrestle without Cass, who was carrying away by the referees.

Marsye was in the ring for Miz's celerbation. There was a bear mascot in the ring holding up a "Congratulations" sign. The ring was adorned with gold balloons in each corner and some more spelling out "MIZ." After Maryse introduced Miz, fans chanted "You deserve it." Miz said that chant would mean more if the fans didn't do it every time someone won a championship. Miz said this was the start of his comeback tour and continue his destiny to restore the Intercontinental Championship to the heights it once knew. He poured champagne and proposed a toast to him, "to a world where I will always be the Intercontinental Champion." Miz said he was delighted that Maryse got the bear. Maryse said she didn't get the bear. Miz said he didn't get the bear. They froze and Miz jumped the bear, thinking it was Ambrose. Miz gave the bear the Skull Crushing Finale and said "I know present to you your former Intercontinental Champion, Dean Ambrose." Miz pulled off the bear mask to reveal...some guy. Miz told the guy that at least he could brag he got beat up by the Intercontinental Champion.

Then a stagehand wheeled out a large box. Miz again sensed Ambrose, picked up a chair and bashed the box. Miz went wild despite Maryse pleading with him to stop. Miz dropped several elbows on the box until Maryse said it was a present from her. It was a grandfather clock because it was timeless, like him. She walked away in tears and threw the microphone away in disgust. Miz was furious and blamed Ambrose for all of this. He dared Ambrose to come in the ring. At that point, a cameraman walked in the ring and it was Ambrose. Miz didn't realize it until he saw the big screen, and Ambrose gave Miz Dirty Deeds, then took a sip from Miz's champagne.

Amore came out and said he called out for a favor, a favor that was 7-foot tall and you can't teach that. The Big Show came out as his mystery partner. Amore introduced him as the "Biggest Show in the Room, how you doin?" Amore said Show was looking a little thin and asked if he was joining the cruiserweight division. Amore said he weighed 206 so Show was in the ring with a heavyweight. Show looked stoic throughout Enzo's spiel. Amore kept making jokes to loosen Show up, then Show started talking in an Italian accent. Show said he was like that character Big Wooly Mammoth and did Cass' catch phrase.

Enzo Amore and the Big Show defeated Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson (1:39)

Show got a hot tag, threw Luke Gallows into Karl Anderson, gave Anderson a shoulder block and gave him a choke slam. Show tagged Amore for Bada Boom Shakalaka, but Show pressed Amore in the air. Amore was telling Show "This isn't how we do it," but Show threw Amore onto Anderson for the pin.

Show and Amore celebrating. Cass wondered if Show was the one jumping them from behind. Amore tried to talk Show into celebrating with them. Show told them to celebrate without him, and watched as Enzo and Cass leave.

Truth said you want answers, you want the truth? You can't handle the truth. He said he and Goldust were friends. Now, I'm nothing more to you than a mean, mad bad mother...shut your mouth! He quoted Jules from Pulp Fiction some more and said Goldust was going to get got.

Bliss, looking stressed, did an interview with Rome, who asked if she regretted giving Jax a championship match. Bliss said that the rest of the WWE women's division were jealous of her and she was a goddess who deserved better than how she is treated.

Raw Women's Champion Alexa Bliss defeated Nia Jax by DQ to retain the Raw Women's Championship (2:20)

James and Brooke walked to ringside in the opening seconds. Jax rag dolled Bliss into the corner and dropped several elbows on her. Jax delivered a running bodyblock and Bliss rolled to the floor. Bliss crawled to the corner, where James and Brooke walked up to her. Bliss pushed Brooke and James. Brooke and James punched her, which led to Jax getting disqualified.

Jax was furious and gave Brooke a Samoan Drop and James a splash into the corner.

Heyman was being worked on in the trainer's room where Lesnar called him. Heyman told Lesnar it was time to Lesnar to instill the fear that Joe doesn't have towards Brock Lesnar. He recommended that Lesnar show up to Raw next week and unleash the Beast on Joe.

Samoa Joe defeats Seth Rollins after Bray Wyatt fakes an interference and distracts Seth. This match ends Raw teasing Joe vs. Brock next week.

____________________________

Smackdown Results
  • Recap of the women's brawl last week that lead to the announcement of the Women's MITB Ladder match. Shane introduced each of the competitors in the ring with him, then revealed the white with gold trim women's MITB briefcase. Ellsworth complained about Shane mansplaining. Everybody cut a promo and then Naomi came out, but was herself interrupted by Lana. Naomi laughed at the idea of Lana wanting to be in the match, and Shane refused her request for a title shot against Naomi. The crowd chanted,"We want Lana!"

  • Tamina, Nattie and Carmella defeated Naomi, Charlotte and Becky in a six-woman tag. Tamina pinned Naomi after Lana returned and tripped her onto the apron at ringside.

  • Backstage, Mojo Rawley complained to Shane that since winning the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal he had largely gone unused on Smackdown. He said if Shane hadn't booked him as a challenge to fire him up, but because he'd forgotten him, then that was a mistake. He noted his successes against current Champion Jinder Mahal. Shane offered him a chance to earn a spot in the Money in the Bank ladder match if he could defeat Jinder Mahal in a match tonight.

  • AJ Styles defeated Dolph Ziggler, faking him out on a Phenomenal Forearm and then successfully hitting the Styles Clash and getting a clean pinfall.

  • A new noir-themed Fashion Files ("Dumb on Arrival") saw Fandango and Tyler Breeze try to communicate with each other about the Colon's Cologne. Halfway through the New Day walked into the skit and offered them a case, but the Fashion Police forgot New Day couldn't hear their narration ("maybe that's why they communicate with claps?"). New Day wanted some insight on the Usos before their title shot.

  • John Cena's return to Smackdown on July 4th was announced.

  • Jinder Mahal defeated Mojo Rawley, finally getting a win over the guy who has had his number in the past, with far less interference than in his recent matches. Jinder cut a promo afterwards saying that he would crush Randy Orton's dreams and the fans would have no choice but accept him.

  • A video package for Shinsuke Nakamura played up the whole "Artist" thing by interspersing footage of his matches with an artist creating a painting based on his last PPV poster.

  • Randy Orton answered Jinder's promo in a backstage interview. He said legends like Ric Flair or his father Cowboy Bob Orton had given him the advice to let Jinder run his mouth and let Randy's actions speak for him.

  • The New Day defeated the Colons in a tag match that includes a spot where BIG E and Xavier spanked the Colons. Afterwards the Usos came out to a promo insisting they had the whole tag division on lock. They mocked each individual member of New Day, including a fun UUDD joke pointing out Xavier's elf-shoes.

  • Sami Zayn had a backstage interview where he lauded Shinsuke Nakamura as the guy to watch in the MITB ladder match. Corbin showed up and rather politely asked if he could interrupt, then beat the poo poo out of Sami and warned him that Shinsuke isn't who he should be worried about.

  • Shane McMahon was on the phone discussing what just happened to Sami when Naomi showed up and demanded a match against Lana at the PPV, even offering to put her title on the line. Shane agreed.

  • TJ Perkins did a promo for his title match against Neville on the 205 Live to follow Smackdown. The match was supposedly quite excellent.

  • Corbin took Sami's place on Guest Commentary for the Owens/Nakamura main event. Nakamura won after hitting the Kinshasa, but as he celebrated Corbin rushed in and hit him with the End of Days.

Somebody fucked around with this message at 11:54 on Jun 7, 2017

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Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



Fish Of Doom
Aug 18, 2004
I'm too awake for this to be a nightmare


My wife mistook Samoa Joe for Penn Jillette, so all in all it was a good night.

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
I see Dominant Heel Alexa Bliss put all that momentum she got last night to great use.

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007



Looks like a young man ready to dive

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

Fish Of Doom posted:

My wife mistook Samoa Joe for Penn Jillette, so all in all it was a good night.

you should tell her that penn jillette is like unhealthily skinny now

Sugar Blaster
Dec 15, 2004

All ears, all eyes, all the time!
raw was pretty okay. samoa joe segment with paul heyman was tits out.

Dangerous Person
Apr 4, 2011

Not dead yet
The Great Balls of Fire logo looks like it should be on a bottle of barbecue sauce

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

I wish Roman Reigns were dead. It's not even all that mean when you think about it. Thousands of people die every day - why not him?

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

VJeff posted:

I see Dominant Heel Alexa Bliss put all that momentum she got last night to great use.

the writers for the women's division are the literal worst

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Somewhere out there is someone who thinks "this Seth feud,

this Seth feud,

this is the one feud Bray's gonna win, yep"

Seams
Feb 3, 2005

ROCK HARD

quote:

Bray Wyatt came out and said last night was the beginning of the end. He had a chance to slay the beast and to save everyone from damnation, but instead of arming him with his sword, they took it from him and sank it right in his heart. But he is still here and alive and still every bit of the God he's always been. That is why he's here to cast judgement on all of those who are guilty: Finn Balor was guilty, Joe was guilty, Seth Rollins was guilty, and Roman Reigns was guilty. He has made a vow, one-by-one, they must all be punished, starting tonight with Reigns.

Reigns walked out to face Wyatt, who laughed and told Reigns he was right on cue. Loud dualing chants of "Roman sucks" and "Let's go Roman" as Reigns grabbed the microphone from Wyatt and told him the chants were the reason why he was the guy. He asked if Wyatt knew what happens when Wyatt runs his mouth in his yard, then punched Wyatt in the mouth. That led to a match.

Roman Reigns defeated Bray Wyatt (19:29)

I like how they've managed to condense 4-week long Bray angles into 20 minutes.

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
So they're trying to get Bray to quit, right?

I'm looking forward to his run in New Japan.

CrcleSqreSanchz
Aug 21, 2002

I'm feeling something new...something...I'm happy??!!

That DICK! posted:

I wish Roman Reigns were dead. It's not even all that mean when you think about it. Thousands of people die every day - why not him?


WHAT DID YOU EAT???

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

CrcleSqreSanchz posted:

WHAT DID YOU EAT???

The apps been gotten folks
one of you was the winner and then winner was - im sorry we're out of time see you on thunder

checksin
Nov 23, 2006

I joined the new sensation, the #RXT REVOLUTION~!

:chillout:

he knows...
bray wyatt would be really good in new japan imo
can we trade him for cody

CrcleSqreSanchz
Aug 21, 2002

I'm feeling something new...something...I'm happy??!!
Bray Wyatt should be traded for a pig that they dress up as Bray Wyatt and never make mention of the difference.

CrcleSqreSanchz
Aug 21, 2002

I'm feeling something new...something...I'm happy??!!
They should also replace all of Bray Wyatt's "spooky Video interruption" footage with snippets of sponsors to get in on the "viral marketing" thing all the kids are talking about.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Bray Wyatt loving sucks

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007


VJeff posted:

So they're trying to get Bray to quit, right?

I'm looking forward to his run in New Japan.

You have to think Gallows and Anderson are probably looking at heading back too given how dead the club is

CrcleSqreSanchz
Aug 21, 2002

I'm feeling something new...something...I'm happy??!!
Bray Wyatt should be traded to Fifth Harmony and forced to dress, dance and sing like them. Without losing the beard.


Failing that, give Bray Wyatt a government job. Trump has enough vacancies. He'd be great at filibustering and getting nothing accomplished.

Dangerous Person
Apr 4, 2011

Not dead yet

SatoshiMiwa posted:

You have to think Gallows and Anderson are probably looking at heading back too given how dead the club is


I completely forgot about Gallows and Anderson

Beef Jerky Robot
Sep 20, 2009

"And the DICK?"

Smoe Joe rules

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR

SatoshiMiwa posted:

You have to think Gallows and Anderson are probably looking at heading back too given how dead the club is

They moved to MAKE GREEN, BROSKI and also be closer to their hot asian wives, so they're probably fine with being booked like crap. They got the tag titles, got to go to Mania with them. They're probably fine Too Sweetin' and cashing the checks until their contracts run out. Plus, Karl Anderson is 37.

Pinwiz11
Jan 26, 2009

I'm becom-, I'm becom-,
I'm becoming
Tana in, Tana in my mind.



Ali got on Raw!

In a squash match... :smith:

checksin
Nov 23, 2006

I joined the new sensation, the #RXT REVOLUTION~!

:chillout:

he knows...

VJeff posted:

They moved to MAKE GREEN, BROSKI and also be closer to their hot asian wives, so they're probably fine with being booked like crap. They got the tag titles, got to go to Mania with them. They're probably fine Too Sweetin' and cashing the checks until their contracts run out. Plus, Karl Anderson is 37.

absolutely, the good brothers are definitely fine with getting paid tons of money to lose and hang out
they're beloved locker room guys who keep the roster loose and their jobs are safe for a long time

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

Bray is basically what you get when you combine True Detective with --

Wait

that's Crab Raungoons music! What's he doing here?!

Ragnarok the Red
Jun 21, 2002
So they are seriously breaking up Enzo & Cass after they've only been on the main roster 14 months and have yet to have a tag title reign, just so Cass can be Vince's umpteenth failed midcard hoss that can't work experiment.

Nice. :thunk:

GEORGE W BUSHI
Jul 1, 2012

What's wrong with Enzo being a mouthpiece for Cass instead of loving them both over?

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007


Vince hates managers even though it's the best use of Enzo

dsriggs
May 28, 2012

MONEY FALLS...

...FROM THE SKY...

...WHENEVER HE POSTS!
Reminder that the WWE thought that it'd be a good idea to get Bayley over as a babyface by presenting her as a 27 year-old loser who's never been kissed, brought her daddy to school with her & was a teacher's pet. None of which she refuted, by the way. Then they made her afraid to use weapons in a match with a weapon stip after saying for weeks that she would. Then they wonder why she gets booed.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

dsriggs posted:

Reminder that the WWE thought that it'd be a good idea to get Bayley over as a babyface by presenting her as a 27 year-old loser who's never been kissed, brought her daddy to school with her & was a teacher's pet. None of which she refuted, by the way. Then they made her afraid to use weapons in a match with a weapon stip after saying for weeks that she would. Then they wonder why she gets booed.

she is honestly being booked worse than sami zayn

Jenny Angel
Oct 24, 2010

Out of Control
Hard to Regulate
Anything Goes!
Lipstick Apathy

Raskolnikov38 posted:

she is honestly being booked worse than sami zayn

I've only watched like one episode of SD since the shakeup, what's Zayn being booked like these days

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold
i want to say same as always but i think he actually beat corbin recently

CubsWoo
Aug 17, 2005

Where the big boys RAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH FUCK YOU

Jenny Angel posted:

I've only watched like one episode of SD since the shakeup, what's Zayn being booked like these days

lost a lot but beat corbin at backlash

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.


:smith:

Grimey Drawer
Lesnar being the champ has kinda done a number on my interest. He's rarely on TV, and there's not a real sense of him being involved in stories or anything- he's a part time guy who shows up to work a few big matches, and so the RAW main event scene is just sorta quiet. It's like "Okay, but who should we be following? Who should we be rooting for?" It really doesn't feel like anyone is getting a push right now.

DeepDickPizza
Oct 11, 2012

THREE TIME! THREE TIME!

That DICK! posted:

Bray is basically what you get when you combine True Detective with --

Wait

that's Crab Raungoons music! What's he doing here?!

Thank you for making the proper choice, friend.

Ragnarok the Red
Jun 21, 2002

dsriggs posted:

Reminder that the WWE thought that it'd be a good idea to get Bayley over as a babyface by presenting her as a 27 year-old loser who's never been kissed, brought her daddy to school with her & was a teacher's pet. None of which she refuted, by the way. Then they made her afraid to use weapons in a match with a weapon stip after saying for weeks that she would. Then they wonder why she gets booed.

The really sad thing about Bayley is that they had all the ingredients there for a decent story with a bit of nuance.

If they'd stuck to her NXT characterization and their original plan of her beating Charlotte for the belt the first time at Mania one-on-one, simultaneously getting her Wrestlemania moment and ending Charlotte's streak, they would have fully established her kid-friendly, idealistic character who persevered and was rewarded.

They could have then told her feud with Alexa as her foil. Both of them were kind of disrespected in NXT. Alexa because of her size & attitude, Bayley because even though she was one of the Four Horsewomen, she was held in less regard than the others as Charlotte sort of points out in their feud. While Bayley stayed true to herself and worked hard and diligently, Alexa became vicious and took shortcuts whenever she could, and would go so far as stooping to levels even Charlotte wouldn't. She may have been The Queen, but Alexa was the Wicked Witch. And would Bayley be willing to stoop to her level just to win? And should she?

But instead Bayley wins her first belt on Sasha's interference, is pretty much ok with this kind of ruining the original point of her character, and the way the Alexa feud is booked Bliss looks more like a badass than just an rear end in a top hat, and Bayley more like a shmuck than a hero hesitant to compromise her morals to win. Because she already pretty much did before.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold
reminder: bayley is the only person to have won the title through cheating

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Metroid Fitzgerald
Feb 13, 2012

B O O O O B S . . . !


Push Enzo Shirtz

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