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mormonpartyboat posted:from testing, if you bake ranch it doesnt crisp at all, and in fact kind of degenerates into gooey oil you'll probably end up with burnt, nasty spices that once constituted the ranch flavoring
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Jun 10, 2017 04:53
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mormonpartyboat posted:from testing, if you bake ranch it doesnt crisp at all, and in fact kind of degenerates into gooey oil need to figure a good substance to mix with and work into a mozzarella style consistency, wash and roll in panko and u got ranchzarella stix that would bring a tear to the most hardened fieri
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Jun 10, 2017 05:32
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I don't know what abominations upon nature, intestinal tracks, and the gods will be unleashed in here but I know one thing I'll be there when they are 
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Jun 10, 2017 06:08
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you could probably make ranch dressing icing cream cheese-style icing, but instead of the butter, you use ranch dressing??? 
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Jun 10, 2017 06:16
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Please use this ingredient in the next Iron Chef CSPAM Hell I bet there are a bunch of tacky politician-branded foods.
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Jun 10, 2017 09:25
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Lindsey O. Graham fucked around with this message at 10:00 on Jun 10, 2017 |
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Jun 10, 2017 09:52
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Airbnb held their company over at the beginning by selling Obama branded cereal, Obama-o's
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Jun 10, 2017 13:54
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curufinor posted:Airbnb held their company over at the beginning by selling Obama branded cereal, Obama-o's Haha holy crap I thought you were joking. 
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Jun 10, 2017 14:15
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Jun 10, 2017 15:46
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 it begins
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Jun 10, 2017 17:00
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 today we prep     tomorrow we dine in hell! e: just received hell's Sunday menu! Tempura Mushrooms with Hot Ranch Stuffed Poblanos and C-SPAMish Rice Cornbread with Lime Ranch Butter Deep Fried Jello, Game Store Flavor Duscat fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Jun 10, 2017 |
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Jun 10, 2017 20:25
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oh my loving god these fritters might be one of the best things ive ever eaten
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Jun 10, 2017 20:32
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more (and better) pictures and a writeup coming after im done cooking but here's the more straightforward first course: ranch sliders with partially hydrogenated dorito fritters and of course some cilantro-lime avocado ranch for dipping 
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Jun 10, 2017 20:41
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absolute madman
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Jun 10, 2017 20:46
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for the sliders: base is a pound of beef mixed with a whole ranch packet and half a diced onion, grilled into patties. veggies are a tomato and little lettuce squares both marinated for about half an hour in oil with about a tablespoon of ranch seasoning, also grilled (i like slightly charred lettuce gently caress you). added a cheese crisp made with 1 part ranch to 3 parts parmesan cheese (not super crispy but tasty) and some leftover bacon from...course 2. then the bun is a king hawaiian original, basted with like 2 tbsp of butter with half a tbsp of ranch and toasted so its got this ranch garlic bread feel, all stacked high two tiny avocados, a fresh squeezed lime, about 2 tbsp cilantro, and a shitload of ranch made the dressing the corn fritters are: 1/2 cup flour 1/2 cup crushed doritos 1 tsp baking powder 1/4 tsp baking soda 1 large egg 1 1/2 cups sour cream 1 (10 oz) package frozen corn whisk dry, make a well, add the wet, just stir until its incorporated, then fry and they are so light and airy while also having that tough crisp oh my god
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Jun 10, 2017 20:48
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the purpose of course 1 is to ease you into the ranchtivities, while course 2 is more...acceptance i present chicken and waffles(?) with a maple ranch glaze 
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Jun 10, 2017 21:20
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the chicken is normal three dip fried chicken, took a tenderloin and dipped it in ranch seasoned flour -> 3 eggs/half cup of milk -> crushed doritos the waffle is actually...well... first, i baked some wedged small red potatoes in ranch seasoning, oil, fresh thyme and sage, and half a diced onion for about 35 minutes until they were dark and toasty and delicious then i roughly diced them and threw them in a bowl with 1/2 cup of ranch, 1 egg, 1/2 cup flour, and some diced bacon and stirred then mashed into a waffle maker the sauce is just literally 1 part ranch to 4 parts maple syrup and a bit of ground chipotle and is legit super tasty mormonpartyboat fucked around with this message at 21:35 on Jun 10, 2017 |
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Jun 10, 2017 21:30
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ok im drunk, my kitchen is destroyed, and i have people coming over to help me finish all the poo poo i made for courses 1 and 2 so i will have to do dessert tomorrow its going to be the strangest thing ive ever cooked so ~~~~~
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Jun 10, 2017 22:00
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mormonpartyboat posted:ok im drunk, my kitchen is destroyed, and i have people coming over to help me finish all the poo poo i made for courses 1 and 2 so i will have to do dessert tomorrow looks like some stiff compo but my meal is coming together in my head bit by bit
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Jun 10, 2017 22:04
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Stiff Compo is my noir gumshoe name
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Jun 10, 2017 22:08
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mormonpartyboat posted:more (and better) pictures and a writeup coming after im done cooking but here's the more straightforward first course: such a handsome entry!
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Jun 10, 2017 22:32
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mormonpartyboat posted:the purpose of course 1 is to ease you into the ranchtivities, while course 2 is more...acceptance chef! you will be difficult to beat! 
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Jun 10, 2017 22:33
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Duscat posted:e: just received hell's Sunday menu! im loving pumped i dont even know what deep fried jello is
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Jun 11, 2017 02:51
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mormonpartyboat posted:i dont even know what deep fried jello is yeah i thought of it when i was drunk, but upon googling, it turned out that the deep fat fryologists at the Texas State Fair actually discovered it just last year after scouring the internet for recipes and trip reports, and although i could not find all the recommended ingredients on such short notice (goddamn HEB apparently doesn't stock agar anymore, what the hell), nor do I have a deep fat fryer, I will attempt this if i die, bury my remains in Bee Cave with a dozen furbies, all aligned 69 degrees from true North, for future archeologists to puzzle over
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Jun 11, 2017 03:17
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lindsey graham's meal for the dead and damned: oyster benne soup a la ranch shrimp au Dorito and grits a la ranch cornbread a la ranch with caramelized Dorito glazed crust
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Jun 11, 2017 06:16
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the gif master has spoken you are the Yoda to my fledgling gif game
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Jun 11, 2017 06:19
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Al! posted:looks like some stiff compo but my meal is coming together in my head bit by bit Same, I'm assembling my shopping list Hopefully I can cook everything tomorrow
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Jun 11, 2017 06:35
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 Just got back from the store The Glumslinger fucked around with this message at 02:06 on Jun 12, 2017 |
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Jun 11, 2017 17:49
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oh my
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Jun 11, 2017 18:25
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Jun 11, 2017 20:07
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oh it's gettin unda'way in here!
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Jun 11, 2017 20:44
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i have plans too, friends! Lindsey O. Graham fucked around with this message at 20:50 on Jun 11, 2017 |
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Jun 11, 2017 20:46
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Courses 0 and 1 finished: Firstly, no meal is complete without bread. So I made cornbread, using ground Doritos in place of some the corn meal and ranch in place of milk. Also added ranch powder to the whole mix. I should have added some chopped jalapenos, but forgot to buy them.   They were good, but definitely needed the kick from jalapenos. Tasted very strongly of ranch, not much Doritos flavor. But a bread course is hardly an appetizer, so I paired it a salad course. But for a ranch battle, only one salad seemed appropriate: A Cobb Salad From left to right is: Doritos avocado ranch dressing Chopped boiled egg Sliced avocado Cherry tomatoes Diced chicken breast (marinated in ranch and lemon juice prior to cooking) Diced onion Chopped bacon Bleu cheese The salad is a mix of romaine and baby spinach.   Next portion of the entry should be posted in a while, still gotta cook everything else. The Entree should be easy assuming my dough turns out well, but dessert is gonna be an adventure. The Glumslinger fucked around with this message at 02:09 on Jun 12, 2017 |
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Jun 11, 2017 21:39
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yum
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Jun 11, 2017 21:51
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course 3 is a-go 
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Jun 12, 2017 00:08
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ok, im back from the store, got my shopping done, pepto's in the freezer, now all i gotta do is find my wire cutters..........
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Jun 12, 2017 00:21
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nothing says dessert quite like onions caramelizing into a brown goo
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Jun 12, 2017 00:29
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Three course meal spaghetti, fettucini, and veal.
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Jun 12, 2017 00:33
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 because i can
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Jun 12, 2017 00:47
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it is done franch toast stuffed with a savory filling with handmade ranch ice cream, topped with a dorito brown sugar butter crumble and drizzled with a a ranch-dark chocolate sauce god have mercy on us all, this is delicious
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Jun 12, 2017 01:16
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