mormonpartyboat posted:

ya'll have been so beautiful i needed a nightcap

so i made myself a White Texan



2 oz kahlua, 1 oz bourbon, 1 oz heavy cream, 1/2 oz of ranch dressing

stirring was not working so i threw it in the shaker and it looks better even if i didnt want to change out glasses for a ~clean picture~



it's surprisingly pretty good!! with the cream, the ranch dressing is more like the vermouth of dairies, adding just a bit of spice and acidity

Lindsey O. Graham posted:

shrimp:

marinated in lime, scallions, thyme, coriander, chili, garlic, garlic salt, red pepper flakes, parsley, habanero pepper, and chili pepper

then they are dredged in flour and crushed cool ranch Doritos

a tomato flour roux was made with onion and orange bell peppers with fish stock to which the shrimp was reintroduced

more coming...

Duscat posted:

First, we prep some accompaniments. Lime ranch butter is exactly what it sounds like:



We need some chili powder:



And a dip for tempura:

[timg]

It starts out as teriyaki, then into Teriyaki Ranch, and finally Hot Ranch.


Now it's time to cook! Let's get a cornbread going:



I forgot to get buttermilk, so we'll cheat with milk and lime juice, but first the cornmeal needs to soak in the milk for a while. We reserve a little bit of it on the side to mix the baking powder and soda in. A cast iron pan goes into the oven to heat up.

Also, we get things together for Cspamish rice, but then remember we need to do something else first. First, dice up the onion and garlic.



Brown and season some ground beef for stuffing, and set aside. Then back to the rice:



Get some of that very beautiful chicken fat off the top of the stock and cook up some onions. Then sautee the rice, add chili powder and garlic, and into the rice cooker it goes!



Add chicken stock and some ranch seasoning. As is the C-SPAM tradition, a tomato goes on top, accompanied by some thyme and oregano. Push butan. The cooker will handle the rest and keep the rice nice and warm for as long as it takes to get the rest together.

Now back to stuffing peppers.



We grate a mix of Cheddar, Mozzarella, and Gruyere, chop up some cilantro, and coarsely grind a new ingredient: Salsa Verde flavored Doritos! Hollow out the peppers (small tongs work great for pulling out excess pith) and then stuff them up but good. A couple of toothpicks to hold the caps on and a nice oil coat is applied and they're ready for the oven.

So's the cornbread:



This pan is now at 400 degrees, so we take care not to grab with our bare hands, although every few years we forget and then we get to wear a single cotton glove like Michael Jackson for a few days. We melt a couple of tablespoons of bacon fat in it, then pour most of it into the batter, leaving the pan nicely greased. Also, in quick succession, the lime juice goes in the batter, and then the remaining dry mix, and then the whole foaming mess goes in the pan and in the oven.


Just a couple more things to prep now:



We make two batters, a rice tempura augmented with Doritos, the other a thick batter of Mountain Dew and Doritos, with rice flour to hold it together. We set up a fry station.

Our main dishes are done! Pull them out and quickly fry up our mushrooms.



We are finally ready to eat!



Dorito tempura mushrooms with Hot Ranch. The mushrooms were great. The Hot Ranch, honestly, was not. The heat and the ginger were nice against the bland mushrooms, but teriyaki should not be so greasy. It might have worked if I'd left out either the mirin or the soy sauce. The mushrooms were rescued by serving neat ranch on the side, which worked much better.



Dorito-stuffed poblano with Cspamish rice and Dorito Cornbread with Lime Ranch butter.

The pepper was great. The Doritos weren't super obvious, but the gooey corny mess they made was very nice and kept the stuffing from just tumbling out when you cut into the pepper. The rice tasted excellent, though the C-SPAM method of mushing a tomato into it after cooking made it rather wet, not really what Spanish rice is supposed to be, but good nevertheless. The cornbread was moist and delicious, though not particularly dorito-y, and the tang of the lime ranch butter was surprisingly good against the sweet cornbread.

And now, time for dessert! Back to the fry station.



We're making hush puppies! The frozen Mountain Dew jello cubes are wrapped in the batter and fried up good.



This was a moderate success. No explosions, which was my main worry, but a somewhat disappointing result. The jello melted around the edges but was still half-frozen in the middle, and it turns out Mountain Dew is not the proper choice of jello for this application. It's not sweet enough, nor does it have much flavor. I think this would have worked a lot better with regular jello made at double strength.

Now, I have a kitchen to clean. Will be back tomorrow to watch the contest.

mormonpartyboat posted:

duscat there is a thing in hawaiian cooking called poi balls which is like one part sweet rice flour, one part poi, and 1/2 part sugar and you fry it and it is loving astonishing

im wondering if there is a way to make mountain dew pudding instead of mountain dew jello? or maybe adding more gelatin, then breaking up the jello, like putting it in a bag and then mashing it to give it a gooey consistency rather than firm consistency?

i really want to see fried mountain dew balls and i might try a few incredibly stupid things that might end with me dying to do so

mormonpartyboat posted:

gently caress whwats the smiley for horny again

kumba posted:

al's offerings are some of the best posts ive ever seen on these forums in over a decade, god dam,n

mormonpartyboat posted:

the poi balls are just the poi and flour (and sugar) mixed completely and you end up with a crispy outside and gooey inside kinda like in this lovely pic



might be easier to go for that kind of a thing than a battered orb of mountain dew

also reducing it sounds so horrific that i think it might be better than gelatin. reduce it to a third, where its almost a syrup, then add a bit of flour and sugar and go

i might need to buy a pot that i intend to destroy if im gonna do that tho

mormonpartyboat posted:

battered orb of mountain dew

mormonpartyboat posted:

the poi balls are just the poi and flour (and sugar) mixed completely and you end up with a crispy outside and gooey inside kinda like in this lovely pic



might be easier to go for that kind of a thing than a battered orb of mountain dew

also reducing it sounds so horrific that i think it might be better than gelatin. reduce it to a third, where its almost a syrup, then add a bit of flour and sugar and go

i might need to buy a pot that i intend to destroy if im gonna do that tho

Duscat posted:

I ran a few pudding experiments. Will let you know when they've chilled, but probably not until tomorrow.

mormonpartyboat posted:

i might do another round, esp if it'll get more people to join in

Al! posted:

same.

appetizer

mormonpartyboat posted:

hakimashou posted:

Can you reduce mountain dew down a lot and use it like a syrup?

Al! posted:

same.

appetizer

Lindsey O. Graham posted:

i don't see why not, but i've never tried it

hakimashou posted:

I've had yuzu creme brulees before at a really nice japanese restaurant and they were excellent, I wonder if mountian dew creme brulee would be any good.

I'm making pots de creme/ creme brulee in my sous vide this week maybe i'll get a bottle of mountain dew and reduce it down and add it to one of them.

Al! posted:

entre

Al! posted:

dessert

Al! posted:

dessert

Grizzled Patriarch posted:

drat this would be a good av

mormonpartyboat posted:

RAINNCH


















also im going to go shopping today and see if i can make a beautiful mountain dew syrup