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Can we talk about horrible, terrible, awful customers*? Is that a thing we can do?? **horrible terrible awful customers may include anyone that might cause mild annoyance in your already depressingly menial job "No, the other stores did not do this for you sir, it is against the law." "Please stop playing with the revolving door." - me to a literal 40 year old. And literally any annoying as hell catchphrase old people spout off to you without even considering that you may have heard it approx. five thousand other times before. Ex. "YOU LOOK BORED!" Forget military conscription, everyone should have to work in retail at least once in their life. Share your work experiences with the old, ignorant, and/or entitled! e: A few tips and tricks that should make posting and reading this thread that much more pleasant for all involved! -This isn't just about retail, feel free to post any stories about any horrible customers in any job. The Retailing was just a dumb subtitle I came up with. If the mods want to change it to something more clever and non-specfic, be my guest. -Theoretically, it doesn't need to be about a customer, as long as it's follows the general spirit of "dealing with a horrendously unreasonably individual in a job where I am powerless to do so". Use your best judgement as to whether or not it belongs here. If it involves someone taking a dump on the floor at your work, it's probably what we're looking for! -This isn't the career advice thread. Nobody is asking for it. Nobody wants to hear it. Nobody is going to quit their job to hand write bibles for a living like a psychopath. -Ignore forums user Glenn Quebec  Starman Super DX fucked around with this message at 03:35 on Jul 13, 2017 |
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Jun 12, 2017 23:46
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WHY IS THE CUT OF THESE BREAD SLICES INCONSISTENT I dunno, call Natures Harvest? *gets fired*
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Jun 12, 2017 23:49
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Starman Super DX posted:Forget military conscription, everyone should have to work in retail at least once in their life.  I think working retail as a young adult is the primary reason why I'm not a "conservative" despite being a white cis male in his 40s who makes roughly 4x minimum wage and lives in the suburbs.
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Jun 12, 2017 23:51
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This really fat woman comes in once a week and orders a personal cheese pizza with garlic butter crust and she is just always so miserable and one day one of the new peeps forgot the garlic butter crust and she lost it on me and I wanted to say I don't think you need any more butter in your diet but instead I just had it fixed for her because that's my job.
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Jun 12, 2017 23:53
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Space Crabs posted:WHY IS THE CUT OF THESE BREAD SLICES INCONSISTENT Ooh oh I've got a good one similar to this. An old lady asked me once why all of the bags of ground coffee had holes in them and if that made them stale. She was VERY concerned about this issue. 
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Jun 12, 2017 23:54
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working retail made me appreciate a well-fronted shelf, especially in the frozen/dairy section aka the navy SEALS of retail
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Jun 12, 2017 23:56
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when I worked in a supermarket a little kid dropped a terd and none of my staff would pick it up so I hid in the banana storage room until the manager picked it up with a paper towel
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Jun 12, 2017 23:56
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I once saw a lady at Sephora (which is a mid-high end makeup, cosmetics, perfume, skincare store) repeatedly demand a discount of "at least 49%" because "this stuff is just too expensive." I felt so bad for the clerk. "Um, that's not how that works" didn't seem to penetrate her skull.
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Jun 13, 2017 00:01
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Sid Vicious posted:I wanted to say I don't think you need any more butter in your diet but instead I just had it fixed for her because that's my job. I sell beer and wine to people so One of our regulars (five times a day fourloko lady) my coworker says to me "is not long for this world" When I inquire as to why, he said she was going in for surgery one day (remove gallbladder, infection, etc.) and here she is, still buying her poo poo with, as my coworker said, "the sword of damacles hanging over her head" Fake edit: nope twice. That's twice she's been in for a 25oz can of Molson. Why isn't she just buying a case you might ask? Well that's simple! She needs to drink it in the car- how else can she hide it from her husband.
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Jun 13, 2017 00:03
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Jeff Sichoe posted:when I worked in a supermarket a little kid dropped a terd and none of my staff would pick it up so I hid in the banana storage room until the manager picked it up with a paper towel  Favorite so far.
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Jun 13, 2017 00:04
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Starman Super DX posted:And literally any annoying as hell catchphrase old people spout off to you without even considering that you may have heard it approx. five thousand other times before. Ex. "YOU LOOK BORED!" *item didn't scan the first time*  :"That means it's free, right?"*customer call gets routed through a phone menu, which states the store's hours for the day* :"What time do you close today?"*in a mall store, with a 6 square foot closet off the sales floor* :"Can you check and see if there are any more of these in the back?":"Do you know if [competitor's store] carries that item you don't have?" "I have no idea because this is just a job for me and I've never been there?"*in a department store with 600 locations nationwide* :"When will this go on sale?" "Whenever our corporate overlords decide it will?"*in a regular store, not a Turkish bazaar* :"What's the best price you can give me on this" *scans item* "$19.99 plus tax, like it says on the box."
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Jun 13, 2017 00:06
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canyoneer posted:*in a regular store, not a Turkish bazaar* nnggh this is the worst if you want to haggle go to the loving flea market
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Jun 13, 2017 00:08
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canyoneer posted:*item didn't scan the first time* i'm gonna start writing down how many times I hear this a day along with *buys a $2 item* "Last of the big spenders!!"
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Jun 13, 2017 00:10
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Jeff Sichoe posted:when I worked in a supermarket a little kid dropped a terd and none of my staff would pick it up so I hid in the banana storage room until the manager picked it up with a paper towel This is my favorite story
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Jun 13, 2017 00:10
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*checking big bill with counterfeit pen* "I just printed that this morning!"
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Jun 13, 2017 00:11
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Toadvine posted:working retail made me appreciate a well-fronted shelf, especially in the frozen/dairy section aka the navy SEALS of retail it's been more than 20 years since I've worked retail and I still feel the urge to straighten a shelf. I worked in a used bookstore, that was also a comic store, that was also a movie rental store, that was also a used adult magazine store, that was also an adult movie rental store, that also made up gift baskets on demand. I've seen some poo poo. The worst customers were invariably the ones who brought in their truckload of musty old books that had been sitting in an attic for a few decades. Despite being warned that the process could take some time and they should probably just come back later, they'd get super impatient because you would stop processing their shitmound of moldy "paper" to serve a customer that might actually lay out some cash for a purchase. They'd argue when told that no, we really couldn't take the book with no front cover that was covered in mold that appeared to be approaching sentience. They'd whine about the lovely rate of trade they were getting. They'd then be shocked! and infuriated! that no, I could not in fact poo poo the book they were looking for out of my rear end when they couldn't find it on the shelf. gently caress those people. That wasn't the worst part of the job, though. Nor were the sticky pages from the used girly mags. It was the gift baskets. They took a long time to make, and were always under a ridiculous deadline. Hard to make one of those and wait on customers at the same time when you're the only person on staff at the time. I still have nightmares.
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Jun 13, 2017 00:12
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I think we need some kind of dumb customer bingo. *stands at the end of your register for another ten minutes checking my receipt*
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Jun 13, 2017 00:12
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One of the weirdest math misunderstandings someone had still puzzles me to this day. It literally took 2 managers and 40 minutes to explain this to a lady who was getting increasingly agitated. She had bought something for $100 + tax (about 8%, so say $108 after tax). She came back the next day and returned it, and in the same transaction bought something for $75 plus tax, and the difference was refunded to her card. That purchase after tax would be $75 + $6 tax, $81. The receipt shows -$100 return +$75 purchase, returning $27 to the customer's card. She was convinced that the store was stealing $6 from her, because she had paid $108 for something that was $100 but now was buying something for $75 and we were only giving her $27 back so WHERE IS THE OTHER $6 MISTER?  She absolutely could not conceptualize that it was netting out the subtotal first, and then applying sale tax to the additional refund (or sale) before moving cash. Or that it would be the exact same thing if we had just refunded $108 in cash and then she paid $75 + $6 tax = $81 to buy her thing. It was so puzzling. I think they literally drew her a picture to explain it.
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Jun 13, 2017 00:17
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EnvyJ posted:i'm gonna start writing down how many times I hear this a day I worked retail for almost a decade and I've never heard that one. Must be regional
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Jun 13, 2017 00:19
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I used to work at Starbucks when I was in college. Without a doubt, the absolutely most annoying interaction were the teenagers who congregated outside, smoked, cursed and yelled, and bought nothing. "You have to give me free water, it's the law."
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Jun 13, 2017 00:20
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runupon cracker posted:that was also a used adult magazine store Uhhhhh
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Jun 13, 2017 00:20
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canyoneer posted:One of the weirdest math misunderstandings someone had still puzzles me to this day. It literally took 2 managers and 40 minutes to explain this to a lady who was getting increasingly agitated. When I was still on the front end some lady wanted to return one of those big packs of bounty paper towels. They were on sale too so it was something like 12-14 dollars w/e. So this person wants to return them and argues with the guy at customer service of course because no receipt, suspicious circumstances, etc. but the part that blew my mind was at the end where she just transparently stated what she wanted all along and started demanding "just give me $15" Yeah sure, let me just open up the register and give you all of the money. All of it. Have everything in the store. As long as YOU're satisfied.
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Jun 13, 2017 00:24
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No especial? When cheaper? Why no cheaper? When cheaper!!
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Jun 13, 2017 00:25
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I hated customers so much I went back to school to get a degree and never deal with them again. I now make 10x more than anyone in retail and do about 1/12 of the work. also no customers. I reccomended it OP
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Jun 13, 2017 00:25
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Aesop Poprock posted:Uhhhhh Yeah. It's just as disgusting as you can imagine. We had to handle, INSPECT, and bag the fuckin things too. Like no, seriously, people brought in their mags, we had to flip through them looking for missing pages or... other reasons why they should be rejected. Oh yeah, and people would argue about that, too. "It was like that when I got it here." No it loving was not, you goddamn troglodyte, get the gently caress outta my face. You wanna snip pics out of your porn mag? You go right the gently caress ahead, just don't bring it back here you gross little poo poo. Yep, kids running around the family-friendly store and I've gotta flip through a used Club International mag because hey, dat's muh job. I laugh at Programming Sucks not because it isn't true, but because no matter how lovely the job can be it's still a whole galaxy away from the awfulness that is retail.
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Jun 13, 2017 00:25
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Isaac posted:No especial? *comes in a minute before closing* Close? Close?? Close???
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Jun 13, 2017 00:26
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Boy, I looke for the for the face *mimes cleaning face* Like a this but the limon *points to drain cleaner* like this but limon *points to wiper fluid then makes face cleaning mime again*
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Jun 13, 2017 00:28
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canyoneer posted:*item didn't scan the first time* I do all of these intentionally now
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Jun 13, 2017 00:30
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Boy Olive but the no holes "Whole olives" No. Olive but the no holes "Yeah these are the ones" Why it say holes then
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Jun 13, 2017 00:30
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Crappy customers wouldn't be so bad were it not for totally spineless managers that infest every retail environment I ever worked in. (me, cool and handsome) : "Hi, I can process your return here" (horrible scammer) Hi, I just bought this $50 premium brand mascara in a sealed package, and wouldn't you know, look what came inside!" *holds up opened box with half-used $5 grocery store brand Maybelline mascara inside* "We don't sell that brand of mascara here" "I know, weirdest thing right? They must be made at the same factory" "That would be very surprising, but I cannot return that" "I have my receipt." "Even if you had gotten the right item in the box ( ), I can't return it because it's used. It's unsellable" "Let me talk to your manager" "OK, I'll go get her"walk away minutes later, smug walks by on her way out of the store and smiles at me without saying anything "What happened, manager?" "I ran the return for her and refunded her card" "Why? She was obviously scamming us and we both know it. And now the person who sold that is going to lose the $5 commission off their next check" "I know, but if she escalated it to the store manager, he'd tell us to run the return anyway in order to make her go away. And then I'd get in trouble. Because if she escalated it above the store manager, the store manager would get in trouble, you see."
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Jun 13, 2017 00:32
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Young Tinfoil: "There you are, ma'am. Would you like a cup and spoon for your son's ice cream cone? It's a hot one today!" Woman: *scoffs* "He can handle a cone." ~2 minutes later~ Young Tinfoil: "Hello again, anything else we can get you?" Woman: "My sons ice cream scoop fell off the cone." Young Tinfoil: "Sorry to hear that, would you like to buy another?" Woman: "BUY?!?!" (This culminated with her storming off, calling me an rear end in a top hat, and her peeling out of the parking lot) ---------------- NSFW Ice cream story below Owner of the store was a raging closet-homo who hired teenage boys almost exclusively. Fortunately for us he was fat and lazy, and over a few short years years the store came under the primary management of my friend and neighbor, who was several years my senior. He promptly replaced most of the staff with females. One girl and I hit it off, so naturally I would have my friend schedule her with me on all my shifts. In between customers we'd sneak into the freezer and make out in until our lips suck together. Young Tinfoil got his first blowjob in the employee bathroom of that ice cream stand and later lost his virginity to the same girl. 
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Jun 13, 2017 00:33
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*spends 30minutes staring past the milk to peep the milk room, as if its some mystic portal to a secret milk dimension*
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Jun 13, 2017 00:33
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Rutibex posted:I do all of these intentionally now gently caress you I hope you die. not really though I'm just stressed from working a closing shift and I don't mean to take it out on you. 
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Jun 13, 2017 00:34
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Rutibex posted:I hated customers so much I went back to school to get a degree and never deal with them again. I now make 10x more than anyone in retail and do about 1/12 of the work. also no customers. gently caress you we work retail because we're unmotivated with substance abuse problems
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Jun 13, 2017 00:36
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Wheres the milk you've moved everything!! *milk has been in the same place since 1950*
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Jun 13, 2017 00:37
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Starman Super DX posted:gently caress you I hope you die. I would like to speak with your manager 
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Jun 13, 2017 00:39
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Rutibex posted:I hated customers so much I went back to school to get a degree and never deal with them again. I now make 10x more than anyone in retail and do about 1/12 of the work. also no customers. Just saw this. I'm still in college and working on a degree so I can escape this madness. It just took me a lot of time to decide wtf to do with myself so I've been trapped in retail hell for... oh... nearly ten years. *sobs silently to self*
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Jun 13, 2017 00:39
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"When are you getting more of these in?" "There's no way to know for certain, but typically if we get restocks, they come 4-8 weeks after the first shipment. We got these 2 weeks ago, so it could be 2-6 weeks from now, or possibly never. They don't tell us, and there's no way for us to find out. If you go on our website, they have current inventory of all the stores and will do free shipping to your home or the store if they're available anywhere. That's what I would recommend" "OK. Should I check back next week?"
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Jun 13, 2017 00:41
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EnvyJ posted:gently caress you we work retail because we're unmotivated with substance abuse problems you can abuse a lot more substances with more money. you won't need to though as your job will be less stressful with out having to deal with pathetic broken retail managers. *5 year KFC veteran*
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Jun 13, 2017 00:41
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*guys 5-7 year old daughter throws up on the floor, which we are then cleaning up* Me: Do you want me to get her a cup of water? Him, glaring at me like I spit on him: Water is a DIUERITIC!! Me: ??? Ok
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Jun 13, 2017 00:42
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