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Can we talk about horrible, terrible, awful customers*? Is that a thing we can do?? **horrible terrible awful customers may include anyone that might cause mild annoyance in your already depressingly menial job "No, the other stores did not do this for you sir, it is against the law." "Please stop playing with the revolving door." - me to a literal 40 year old. And literally any annoying as hell catchphrase old people spout off to you without even considering that you may have heard it approx. five thousand other times before. Ex. "YOU LOOK BORED!" Forget military conscription, everyone should have to work in retail at least once in their life. Share your work experiences with the old, ignorant, and/or entitled! e: A few tips and tricks that should make posting and reading this thread that much more pleasant for all involved! -This isn't just about retail, feel free to post any stories about any horrible customers in any job. The Retailing was just a dumb subtitle I came up with. If the mods want to change it to something more clever and non-specfic, be my guest. -Theoretically, it doesn't need to be about a customer, as long as it's follows the general spirit of "dealing with a horrendously unreasonably individual in a job where I am powerless to do so". Use your best judgement as to whether or not it belongs here. If it involves someone taking a dump on the floor at your work, it's probably what we're looking for! -This isn't the career advice thread. Nobody is asking for it. Nobody wants to hear it. Nobody is going to quit their job to hand write bibles for a living like a psychopath. -Ignore forums user Glenn Quebec  Starman Super DX fucked around with this message at 03:35 on Jul 13, 2017 |
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Jun 12, 2017 23:46
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Space Crabs posted:WHY IS THE CUT OF THESE BREAD SLICES INCONSISTENT Ooh oh I've got a good one similar to this. An old lady asked me once why all of the bags of ground coffee had holes in them and if that made them stale. She was VERY concerned about this issue. 
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Jun 12, 2017 23:54
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Sid Vicious posted:I wanted to say I don't think you need any more butter in your diet but instead I just had it fixed for her because that's my job. I sell beer and wine to people so One of our regulars (five times a day fourloko lady) my coworker says to me "is not long for this world" When I inquire as to why, he said she was going in for surgery one day (remove gallbladder, infection, etc.) and here she is, still buying her poo poo with, as my coworker said, "the sword of damacles hanging over her head" Fake edit: nope twice. That's twice she's been in for a 25oz can of Molson. Why isn't she just buying a case you might ask? Well that's simple! She needs to drink it in the car- how else can she hide it from her husband.
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Jun 13, 2017 00:03
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Jeff Sichoe posted:when I worked in a supermarket a little kid dropped a terd and none of my staff would pick it up so I hid in the banana storage room until the manager picked it up with a paper towel  Favorite so far.
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Jun 13, 2017 00:04
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I think we need some kind of dumb customer bingo. *stands at the end of your register for another ten minutes checking my receipt*
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Jun 13, 2017 00:12
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canyoneer posted:One of the weirdest math misunderstandings someone had still puzzles me to this day. It literally took 2 managers and 40 minutes to explain this to a lady who was getting increasingly agitated. When I was still on the front end some lady wanted to return one of those big packs of bounty paper towels. They were on sale too so it was something like 12-14 dollars w/e. So this person wants to return them and argues with the guy at customer service of course because no receipt, suspicious circumstances, etc. but the part that blew my mind was at the end where she just transparently stated what she wanted all along and started demanding "just give me $15" Yeah sure, let me just open up the register and give you all of the money. All of it. Have everything in the store. As long as YOU're satisfied.
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Jun 13, 2017 00:24
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Isaac posted:No especial? *comes in a minute before closing* Close? Close?? Close???
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Jun 13, 2017 00:26
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Rutibex posted:I do all of these intentionally now gently caress you I hope you die. not really though I'm just stressed from working a closing shift and I don't mean to take it out on you. 
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Jun 13, 2017 00:34
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Rutibex posted:I hated customers so much I went back to school to get a degree and never deal with them again. I now make 10x more than anyone in retail and do about 1/12 of the work. also no customers. Just saw this. I'm still in college and working on a degree so I can escape this madness. It just took me a lot of time to decide wtf to do with myself so I've been trapped in retail hell for... oh... nearly ten years. *sobs silently to self*
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Jun 13, 2017 00:39
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Aesop Poprock posted:*guys 5-7 year old daughter throws up on the floor, which we are then cleaning up*  :"do these chocolate covered eggs at the end of your register have peanut butter in them???" : "Uh, yes?": "My son has a PEANUT ALLERGY! He can't be around peanuts!!!" *is in a grocery store*
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Jun 13, 2017 00:46
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This thread is doing wonders for my mood. You guys!  I love that the "customer is always right'' poo poo in retail has become so back asswards that customers can't be stopped from scamming, stealing, or managers are willing to break the laws because boo hoo why can't I ring up my groceries with my beer??  Like the guy at my store who was literally fired for calling someone out on shoplifting. 
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Jun 13, 2017 01:19
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As a general rule I'm not big on overly friendly people in non-social situations. It's just me, you can call me bitter or salty or whatever you like but I just don't get strangers who excitedly shout "hi howzit going!?" at you like you're old friends that haven't seen each other. Like I've got customers that I build a report with because they were super chill and acted normal, but this expectation that all retail workers are your best friends who want to hear your life story is utterly beyond me. Y'know Kurt Vonnegut said that politeness kills. 
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Jun 13, 2017 02:04
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jazzyhattrick posted:In the US the saying goes "the customer is always right." In the UK that translates to "the customer can always gently caress off." Working in retail has kinda made me want to move to Europe one day if I ever get a decent enough paying job to hoist myself out of this terrible rut. If only for the different social rules. From what I understand, in Germany, nobody asks "how are you" unless you REALLY want to know. Casual politeness in America really blurs this line between perfect strangers and bffs so there's not even an "acquaintance" step in between.
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Jun 13, 2017 02:20
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We recently had the cops go knocking on the door of a lady who was stealing 3 liter bottles of Lambrusco wine. She would pick one up, go around the corner, and stick it in a reusable bag, then go through self checkout with all of her other semi-legitimate purchases (most of them had reduced stickers mysteriously added onto them) and then walk out. These were like, big rear end glass jugs too. My manager has ordered like two or three cases since the beginning of May. We hadn't sold a single one. This lady likely got away with like, 18 of these things. The real tragedy is despite having her literally on camera doing it, the cops said the judge would throw it out because the managers didn't follow her around like they're supposed to?? Idgi. Freaked the hell out her when they threatened to talk to her husband tho.
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Jun 13, 2017 02:40
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Here's a great closing time catchphrase. *tries locked revolving door from outside, comes around the other side" "Can I go out that door?" Yes because the REVOLVING DOOR magically only locks from one side.
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Jun 13, 2017 03:26
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In recent years I've noticed that it's apparently impossible to replace me with someone willing to work the same hours, as insane as that sounds, so until the day comes they actually do find that person I've found that I've been getting away with a lot more which is one perk of being stuck there for so long I guess. For one thing, I've realized which kinds of customers I can yell at (or talk sternly to) without having to worry about the usual LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER ramifications. Although even after it's come to that on a couple of occasions, I still get away without any real punishment or consequence. Anyway, these customers include: Small children unaccompanied by a parent. Kids ranging from middle school to high school. and certain foreigners. I feel bad about the last one, but I got really sick of the Mexican guy who would come in shortly before closing and even try to use the bathroom BEFORE making his purchase. One night at about five minutes to closing I said "No, you know what? We are closed. Stop coming it at five to eleven." Now I see him at ten of. It's something at least. e: and yes, nine times out of ten it's to ask people to stop playing with the loving revolving door. and once I had to tell this small child named "Xandir" to "please leave me alone" because he was intruding on my register space. Felt good to wipe that kid's smile off. Why isn't your dumb mom watching you and telling you to not bug strangers? Starman Super DX fucked around with this message at 04:38 on Jun 13, 2017 |
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Jun 13, 2017 04:35
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Mr.Pibbleton posted:My boss tells me to go into the bathroom to initial that the bathroom has been inspected at every time it's supposed to be, So there I am making up initials for every day when I hear a little kid's voice from the stall. Please please please tell me that this actually happened. I gave that a very robust lol
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Jun 13, 2017 04:39
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buglord posted:this is from some old post I made in a A/T customers thread this was incredible and completely believable in terms of an insane customer scenario. How about that time I was in a more poor than normal mood, about one year into my working at this horrid establishment, and when a customer incessantly asked "hey hey hey why are you in a bad mood? why aren't you talking to me?" I just blurted out "with all due respect ma'am, I don't think that's any of your business." to which of course she complained to customer service immediately. "HOW DARE YOU NOT TELL ME ABOUT YOUR MOST INTIMATE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS???"
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Jun 13, 2017 08:00
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Telephones posted:I want to be a lazy, thieving, lying bastard, but I'm too scared! Can I get some tips on being a complete piece of poo poo? A thief takes by subversion. An artist takes when someone is looking right at them. 
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Jun 13, 2017 08:22
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Axel Serenity posted:I work at a Best Buy and at least a couple times a week, I get some old dude come in and complain about "This stuff is easy for you youngins to understand, but not us older folk!" we have an old guy on staff in our department that despite me telling him how to do certain things many times he has replied "CAN'T TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS!!" 
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Jun 13, 2017 09:08
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I'm perfectly pleasant and helpful to normal people, which most retail customers are. We've all been customers at least once. It's actually just extremely difficult to treat the person across the counter like a human being. Particularly for middle-aged baby boomer types that are used to an age where part time hours were plentiful and most establishments had employees running around everywhere and at least one of them could cater to whatever their insane whim was on that particular day. These days managers run a skeleton crew with minimal hours because they figured out they could trick retail workers into doing much more than what is required outside of their job. Beyond whatever bullshit extra tasks your manager forced on you, you're also basically supposed to be a social worker and have to put up with whatever old, infirmed, mentally ill transient comes through your line and treat them like they're a loving king. Sorry but I don't get paid enough to pretend to be friendly when I don't feel like it and when the person I'm serving clearly doesn't deserve it. I went to a Wendy's with my parents a few years ago and despite how busy they were, my mother insisted on grabbing a drone from the front to wipe the table down. Why she could not do this herself I do not fully understand. Also, people who just shout at nothing without addressing you. I like to ignore them until they actually do something to try and get my attention. We've had a number of fun characters (homeless people/drifters/general weirdos) come in and out of my department, and we come up with fun code names for them so we can identify who's who. I made a whole thread about one, actually. Luckily we really cracked down on it so a lot of these people don't seem to come in anymore. Box-Car Willie - The guy living in his car who would come in to shave in our bathroom. My manager also thinks he's prostituting himself out to women. The Lush- Comes in 5-6 times a day for bud ice. his wife came in and asked us to stop selling to him. we can't. Came in with a black eye one day after that. (???) The Chairman- Local Korean homeless man that makes his way around a bunch of stores in the area. I didn't come up with the name. Huck- Old weirdo who comes in to try and make friends with the retail staff and threatens to get you fired if you don't have an extended conversation with him. I think I got him kicked out for saying something particularly rude to me.
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Jun 13, 2017 16:34
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We have a section of singles where people can mix and match their own beer. No customer has any clue about how we fill it, they just assume that if something is there that it must always be there all of the time and if it's not that's our fault. Really though, we just have a limited amount of space for singles and a large variety of craft, so we like to get a nice mix of everything out there so everyone has a chance to try everything. It doesn't sound like a big deal for customers to just take a single out of a six if they don't see what they want, but really if we allowed that it would be complete bedlam. I'd be ringing out $22 a fourpack Chimay for a tiny fraction of that price. Anyway... I had a guy come in who lost his poo poo when we didn't have singles of twisted tea in our "mix a six" section so he took it upon himself to take whatever he wanted out of the regular six packs and put it in a pack, and when I told him I couldn't ring it out if he was just going to do that himself and he started swearing at me and calling me an rear end in a top hat (for telling him the rules) and then stormed over to the other cashier, whom, unfortunately was too nice to say no, and also to whom he started back-handedly apologizing but really insulting me. I walk up from behind and say again "it's part of the policy" and he starts screaming "STOP TALKING STOP TALKING", then proceeds to go outside and starts pointing at me through the window and bitching mindlessly to a coworker on lunch, of course the other cashier and I start smiling and laughing at his immense stupidity. He sees this and comes back in and starts screaming about nothing again. I dun really remember what happened at that point but I think I said "if you have a complaint, customer service would be happy to help, sir." Had another regular who tried to take two Sam Adams Summer out of a six and turned surprisingly douchey when I told him that we couldn't do that and it was basically like going into the soda aisle, opening up a pack of something, and just taking one. He told me "no it's not." Yeah okay, idiot. Fortunately my other coworker reamed him out for it since they new each other and he apologized to me later.
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Jun 13, 2017 19:44
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crotchgobbler posted:I used to work in a grocery store deli. One time a guy came up to me and said "I'll take a half pound or a quarter pound of ham, whichever is less." I said, "Sir, a quarter pound is less than a half pound, are you asking for a quarter pound?" And he said, "Yeah, sure, whatever." I loved everything about this post.
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Jun 13, 2017 19:51
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Kelp Me! posted:Yeah I've gotten something like 6 months of free Amazon Prime by not being an rear end in a top hat who blames a phone center peon in India for a shipping delay in New Jersey when my Wii U refurb was taking over a month to ship I called 'tendo customer service and waited patiently (for almost an hour), was still extra polite to the guy helping me on the other line, and what do you know? He took the tax off my order so I only had to pay a flat 200. It pays to be nice to people who are there to, you know, help you.
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Jun 13, 2017 20:16
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Rutibex posted:i think modern retail is set up to provide the experience of owning a slave for a short amount of time, like an oppression rental service. this way lowly otherwise unrespectable people can feel a bit of power every once in a while. i don't know how people will cope when automation replaces everyone. yelling at a robot won't make you feel better about your lovely life You sir are my new best friend. new phone who dis posted:The Boomers were bad, but even the younger ones were surprisingly terrible. Women who would be in their 30s and 40s now who just straight up treated you like a misbehaving child when the only thing they had ever done in life is get lucky in marriage. Meanwhile, their rich as gently caress, workaholic husband is coming up behind them when they aren't looking and tipping us out and apologizing profusely. I consider myself pretty liberal, a feminist, etc. but working in retail starts to make you prejudice in a way that you can't really help (at least in the context of being a retail worker). I don't want to talk to anyone I can't understand, for one. And yeah, for some reason the middle-aged housewives seem to be some of the worst customers particularly when they're in a lovely mood. I even mentioned this to my feminist as gently caress SO thinking she would disapprove and even she agreed. "It's something about wanting to be doted upon". Really, it's the anyone who has too much free time on their hands and it gives them something to do to go in and complain, which is why old people are some of the worst too. I always think of that Futurama bit. "I'm going to purchase a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, forcing people to wait behind me in line while I complain!" Starman Super DX fucked around with this message at 20:38 on Jun 13, 2017 |
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Jun 13, 2017 20:35
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ArbitraryC posted:So for all the stories about people scamming the stores is there any like longterm gameplan for it or is it just that so few people are willing to make total asses of themselves to score 50 bucks from an exhausted manager that it's not worth actually policing? I'm pretty sure that business 101 basically says that getting a new customer is a lot harder than keeping a previous one so as a general rule, corporate and managers follow the "just say yes" policy because losing one rear end in a top hat customer could mean the end of the store as they know it.
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Jun 13, 2017 21:20
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I.C. posted:Do you get mad when people thank you by name, but you never introduced yourself but are wearing a name tag? Yes. Again, it's that weird jump from stranger to buddy that I don't care for. One time a guy started cursing me out because I took someone ahead of him after he set his poo poo down, walked ten feet away, and proceeded to spend several minutes stuffing the giveaway ballot box with five different entries. I removed all of them after he left. He's been guilty in the past of one of my favorite customer types "The Philosopher". "Don't you think it's WEIRD that you have to scan everyone's ID???" HOHO! You really blew my mind there sir! Cracked the case wide open! Obviously it's for some horrible and nefarious purpose and I never even considered that possibilty! (when the reality is that the information disappears in 12 hours and nobody actually prints any data out and nor is it hooked up to anything other than a power supply) Thank you, thank you for opening my eyes and helping me see the light!! But... really I just tell them "I don't really care. I'm just doing my job."
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Jun 13, 2017 22:15
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I.C. posted:The other one I like is when the total is 19 something -- "Good year!" I hate you. I hate you so much. I wish I could hate you to death. Speaking of PA when it used to be funnier, someone mentioned "the back" and any time this comes up this is all I can think of. 
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Jun 13, 2017 23:03
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Nessa posted:I had a habit of saying "Did you find everything you were looking for today?" when someone came to the till. *forgets to scan the other item and announces the wrong total* "WELL I LIKE THAT FIRST PRICE A LOT MORE!!" *hearty laugh*
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Jun 13, 2017 23:41
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berth ell pup posted:i just put a piece of blue tape over the barcode on my license. thus if someone who actually has authority needs to scan it they can take it off and if it's some register jockey they'll have to take two extra seconds to key it in like they did forever. I'm just going to tear it off and throw it away so you have to keep replacing it. I'm not keying in poo poo.
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Jun 14, 2017 02:21
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Drunk Nerds posted:I feel like I missed something? Why would you do this? Because the time of others around him isn't as valuable as his is. That's why it's okay to make people wait in line behind him while I fiddle with his inexplicably and arbitrarily altered license. Zo posted:if people like these stories, there's actually a 500 page thread for retail workers in the BFC subforum full of people bitching about being expected to do their job and at the same time wondering why they don't get promoted lol Nobody in this thread wants to be promoted and be in the same situation as their sad-sack manager. We just want out.
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Jun 14, 2017 03:13
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Kelp Me! posted:lol can you imagine the loving incident that would have taken place if that dude was any other race/build other than fat and white whoa whoa whoa I appreciate your point but let's quit while we're ahead and open a whole can of worms here. it is kinda funny though how white nerds get a pass for carrying weapons tho because they'd never actually use them for anything
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Jun 14, 2017 04:11
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Kelp Me! posted:I'm saying the race is the reason "guy with a katana" isn't something you get the SWAT team involved over Nahhh you're definitely right. I was more or less thinking specifically of "katana" type fedora rejects, and less like the Danny Phantom obsessed type with two shotguns. I'm gonna start being a lot nicer to that smelly kid with aspergers on nightcrew you can bet that much.
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Jun 14, 2017 04:30
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Shoggoth bgosh posted:This is no joke. I am a computer/phone tech and I am always getting people asking for "The GUY in the back". rear end in a top hat, I AM the guy in the back. I'm the only employee. Some rando told me "You're too pretty to work on computers" What does that even mean?? I swear I won't get menses all over your electronics. I hate that what people say to me or my coworkers has to be based on gender to some degree. It's incredibly stupid, I know, but I encounter a little of my own even as a dude. It's completely trivial, but it still annoys me and is real. Partially because we have a TV there (which I usually change the channel on as soon as I get the chance anyway), I get asked about the latest sports ball team updates. Why would I know? I don't watch sports. I have to explain this to people on a daily basis that I don't watch sports and if they're making me put a game on I'm not paying any attention. The girls who have worked in my position get asked this way, way less. It's a little insulting both ways, really. That loving old dickbag who wouldn't leave workers alone because he desperately wanted a friend asked me once about playing sports and I said "No." Then he asked me if I was a "car guy" and I said "No." Then there was a pause... and he asked if I was "like a computer guy". Maybe I said "yeah sure" I don't really remember, but like oh no I don't do a manly man hobby I must be one of THOSE guys.
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Jun 14, 2017 18:49
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Efexeye posted:yo man maybe retail isn't the best career for you to be pursuing maybe if you're not reading the whole thing this isn't the thread you should be posting in
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Jun 14, 2017 19:04
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Oh well in that case I'm just not interested in your ignorance. Have a good day, sir. 
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Jun 14, 2017 19:13
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Efexeye posted:people who seem to actively hate everyone as you seem to generally have vocations that are less public-facing, is all. you work in retail because you enjoy being a dick to people, or you'd have figured out something else Did you need assistance? Customer service is on the front end, ma'am.
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Jun 14, 2017 19:15
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It's funny to me when people who are clearly the rear end in a top hat customer come in here and think that their words are some kind of magical cure all. Yeah, I sure have never heard any of those things before. I'm sorry that you're bitter about your hand cramps and it makes it so difficult for you to goonishly dole out "advice" nobody really needs or wants to hear. Try acting like a human being next time you're dealing with a retail drone- you might be surprised to find that they're not rude or sullen at all!
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Jun 14, 2017 19:40
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Uh yeah. That's why I said I dug myself into this rut? You may be able to write but clearly your reading comprehension is less than subpar.
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Jun 14, 2017 19:42
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:I used to work at a casino. Literally everyone working there has heard "Which machine is gonna pay?" so many times that you couldn't get in trouble for pointing to the ATM. Haha I like that as a witty response. There aren't enough of them to most of the typical catchphrases. None that I've been sharp enough to think of on the spot, anyway.
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Jun 14, 2017 20:00
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