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Who came out the best from this show?
This poll is closed.
Roman Reigns 1 1.15%
Braun Strowman 32 36.78%
Samoa Joe 17 19.54%
Big Cass 7 8.05%
Clonfroggio you loving moron. Jesus Christ. 30 34.48%
Total: 87 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

 
  • Locked thread
Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?



____________________________


  • The Hype Bros - Zack Ryder and Mojo Rawley - defeated the Colons on the pre-show.

  • The first ever, historic Women's Money in the Bank Ladder match featured Becky Lynch, Carmella (with James Ellsworth), Charlotte, Nattie and Tamina. It was played up as a big time major thing, the culmination of the Women's Revolution and a new era for women being taken seriously in wrestling. Then a comedy male jobber casually climbed the ring, took down the briefcase and dropped it to Carmella on the floor and declared her the winner.

  • The Usos retained their tag titles against the New Day by getting counted out. Match was a lot of fun but the ending was weak.

  • Naomi retained her Women's Championship against Lana. Carmella teased a cash-in but changed her mind.

  • The Fashion Police did a Fashion Vice segment where they recieved a video-tape from their recent assailants challenging them to a match.

  • Maria Kanellis returned with her husband Mike, now also known as Mike Kanellis. The gimmick seems to be that they're nauseatingly in love, and it rules.

  • Jinder retained his WWE Championship against Randy Orton, whose father and some other wrestling legends were in the front row. Exact same ending as every other match they've had, the Singh Brothers interfered, Randy beat them up then got caught by Jinder when he got back into the ring.

  • The Fashion Police defeated their mystery assailants, revealed to be The Ascension. Nothing match that ended with a cradle pin.

  • Baron Corbin won the Money in the Bank briefcase in a very good match that was the saving grace of the PPV. Nakamura and AJ Styles came across like stars, particularly Nakamura. Kevin Owens looked to have been injured during the match but it seems he is okay.
____________________________

Great Balls of Fire(lol) on July 9th

WWE Universal Championship Match
Brock Lesnar(c) w/ Paul Heyman vs. Samoa Joe

Ambulance Match
Braun Strowman vs Roman Reigns
____________________________

Raw Results
  • Roman Reigns opened the show with what felt like a largely heel promo, bragging about how nobody can beat him one-on-one and that he doesn't care who wins between Joe and Brock since he can beat either one. Samoa Joe came out and reminded him that he has never beaten him, Reigns replied that to him, Samoa Joe is "Just Joe". Joe attacked Roman and got the best of him early, but when he went for his submission Roman fought free and Joe quickly fled the ring.

  • The Hardyz defeated The Club in a fairly lengthy back and forth match.

  • Goldust did a director's chair promo inviting R-Truth to the "debut" of his new film: The Shattered Truth.

  • Elias Sampson did a promo mocking Evansville, then atempted to tune his guitar while demanding complete silence. Finally he was interrupted by Finn Balor. The two faced off momentarily and then Elias left the ring.

  • Bo Dallas jumped Finn Balor before their match began and initially had the best of him. Balor soon retook control and thrashed Bo, with the commentators noting they were seeing a meaner streak from him.

  • They showed a trailer for WWE 2K18, in which Seth Rollins commits assault and battery, breaking and entering, property damage and arson.

  • Backstage, Kurt Angle and Corey Graves were discussing their mysterious text messages when Enzo and Cass showed up demanding resolution to the attacks that have been happening to both of them. Kurt assured them they would find the culprit before the end of the night.

  • Seth did an in-ring promo talking up being on the cover for WWE 2K18. He talked up the second chance the fans gave him after he bought in to The Authority. Bray Wyatt interrupted on the Titantron to call him a hypocrite who still conforms to what others want him to be. The two jawjacked for awhile and then Bray decided to come down to the ring to face him one-on-one. When he arrived, as the lights came back up Seth jumped him from the top turnbuckle.... then just left as his music played. Seth somehow cut his face in the process.

  • In a backstage interview, Finn Balor said that he will only look forward, and his goal is set on regaining the Universal Championship. As he gave his thoughts on Joe vs Roman, Elias jumped Finn from behind and warned him never to upstage him again.

  • Akira Tozawa faced TJ Perkins in a Cruiserweight Match. Titus O'Neill came down to the ring and forced his way into doing the ring introductions and talking up Tozawa. During the match, Neville showed up and told the commentators he was here to keep an eye on Tozawa as well as Titus. Tozawa defeated TJ and Titus immediately demanded replays of the finish and insisted the crowd cheer for Tozawa, then announced he and Apollo would be facing Sheamus and Cesaro for the tag titles later tonight. He told Tozawa that he signed with the Titus Brand the money would be flowing, and Neville had finally had enough and shouted over the mic that he would annihilate Tozawa. Titus retorted that Tozawa would destroy Neville if he wasn't careful.

  • R-Truth did a counter-promo to Goldust accepting his invitation for next week.

  • Curtis Axel was trying to cheer up Bo Dallas after his beating by Finn Balor. The Miz showed up to offer them both a chance to be in his entourage, reminding them both that they were largely nobodies in WWE nowadays but he could make their families proud of them. He left and they seemed to be considering it.

  • Samoa Joe had a backstage interview in which he had them replay footage of him beating the poo poo out of Roman Reigns 4 months earlier and pinning him clean.

  • Samoa Joe defeated Roman Reigns in a lengthy match that got REAL GOOD towards the end. As the two managed to kick out of each others big moves, an ambulance appeared on the Titantron backing up.


  • While Roman was distracted Joe locked in the Coquina Clutch and knocked him out.

  • Braun Strowman stormed down to the ring following Joe's victory. He got on the mic, reminded Roman that "I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!" and hit him with the Reverse Chokeslam. He challenged Roman to an Ambulance match at Great Balls of Fire.

  • MizTV's special guest was Maryse, with Miz attempting to apologize to his wife for his recent gently caress-ups. He gifted her a fixed/upgraded version of the Grandfather Clock he'd wrecked a couple weeks earlier. Just as Maryse looked set to forgive him, Dean Ambrose showed up. Miz's attempts to get at Dean saw him gently caress up again, with Maryse being splashed by her drink and the grandfather clock wrecked again. After Maryse stormed off, Ambrose attacked Miz but after Miz escaped the ring, the bears assaulted Dean and revealed themselves to be Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel, who took Miz up on his offer.

  • Sheamus and Cesaro defeated Titus O'Neill and Apollo Crews to retain their Tag Team Titles.

  • Video package playing up Samoa Joe vs Brock Lesnar. Joe got treated like a monster, then Brock undercut him, then they showed their pull-apart Brawl from last week.

  • Sasha Banks vs Nia Jax ended in a DQ when Alexa Bliss attacked Emma and got her to chase her down to ringside. As soon as the match was thrown out, Alexa and Emma joined forces to attack Sasha. Dana Brooke and Mickie James came down to get involved, then Bayley, and the faces cleared the heels out.

  • Kurt Angle came out to address the attacks on Enzo and Cass. He brought them out, then the Revival, then Big Show. Show said he would never hit somebody from behind he'd do it to their face. He walked out threatening that he might leave Raw after this accusation. Angle said he had confirmed The Revival's alibi, but assured everybody he would figure this out eventually. Corey Graves spoke up to accuse Big Cass, and showed footage of Big Cass faking the attack on himself.

  • Cass admitted he was the one who attacked Enzo, because he was tired of putting up with him and that nobody liked him. He was dead weight holding back Cass' potential. He finished his promo saying they were through and KO'ed Enzo with a big boot to end the show.
____________________________

Smackdown Results
  • Recap of the controversial ending to the Women's MITB match. Tamina, Charlotte, Nattie and Becky were backstage outside Daniel Bryan's office arguing. Bryan came out and told them he would address things as soon as he heard what Carmella and Ellsworth had to say for themselves.

  • Carmella and Ellsworth came to the ring. Carmella said she didn't care that she won it controversially, she got what she wanted and there was no specific rule against it. She brought up other times wrestlers had gotten wins/titles in controversial fashion, mocked the fans for tweeting and insisted Daniel Bryan couldn't do anything about the fact she's Miss Money in the Bank. Crowd was quite heated in response to a lot of what she said.

  • Backstage Charlotte told Bryan not to worry about her neck and to deal with Carmella's bullshit victory. She refused to let him ignore Ellsworth's interference even if the match was No DQ, pointed out they made history "for the wrong reasons" and insisted he do the right thing about it.

  • BIG E defeated Jimmy Uso in a singles match. The Usos tried to walk out on the match like they did at the PPV, but Kofi and Xavier stopped them and forced the match to go to a conclusion.

  • Nattie and Tamina interrupted Daniel Bryan on the phone with Shane, and Nattie tried to ingratiate herself with Bryan while Tamina insisted he do something about the situation. Naomi did an interview saying that whoever ended up the Number One Contender, she'd be ready for them. Lana showed up and challenged her to a rematch, Naomi told her to get out of her face or get slapped back to Russia.

  • In a sitdown interview, Randy Orton admitted he lost focus which caused him to lose his title rematch against Jinder. He thought that Jinder doing exactly the same thing he does in every single match against Orton was "maybe, probably" Jinder's strategy. He insisted this was far from over and he intended to hurt Jinder.

  • Shinsuke Nakamura defeated Dolph Ziggler in a long match that was probably the best the two have had together. Shinsuke kicked out of everything Ziggler could hit him with, and pinned Ziggler following one hell of a Kinshasa.

  • Daniel Bryan congratulated Sami Zayn on his performance at MITB and told him he had a match against Baron Corbin next week. Becky Lynch showed up and Sami commiserated with what happened to her in her MITB match. Becky explained just how badly Ellsworth forcing his way into the match had hosed her over and how upset she was that she constantly does the right thing and gets screwed out of victories by people taking shortcuts or cheating. Bryan told her it was complicated, but she said there was nothing complicated about doing the right thing.

  • Kevin Owens complained that the other wrestlers at MITB teamed up to keep him from winning the briefcase. He declared the United States is the REAL land of opportunity and as such he would give a local wrestler a shot at his US Championship. AJ Styles answered the open challenge but Owens reminded him it was for a local (Dayton, Ohio) wrestler. Chad Gable from American Alpha answered the challenge also, saying he'd just moved to Dayton..... uhhh... this morning! AJ backed him up and called for the bell to be rung, and the ref agreed while Owens was spluttering in protest.

  • After an initial flurry by Chad Gable, Owens was able to beat him and pin him clean. AJ was on guest commentary.

  • Backstage, Zack Ryder showed Daniel Bryan footage of the show where he injured his knee while simultaneously winning a Number One Contender's spot for the Tag Championships. They asked for that title shot since they never had it, but Bryan said things had changed since then. He did offer them a match against the Usos next week, and if they win that they get a title shot.

  • Sami and Tye Dillinger did a commercial piece for Sonic, where Tye rated every Sonic drink as a 10/10.

  • Daniel Bryan came to the ring and explained he had been told by Shane and other WWE Management not to let emotions rule his decision regarding the Women's MITB match. He brought out Charlotte, Tamina, Nattie, Becky and Carmella (with Ellsworth). He admitted there was nothing in the rulebook preventing interference by non-competitors, and there had been interference in other matches in the past. But nothing like Ellsworth climbing the ladder, taking the briefcase and then gifting it to Carmella had ever happened before, this was uncharted territory. He intimidated Ellsworth and threatened to fire him for mentioning Bryan's new baby daughter.

  • Everybody started arguing and talking poo poo to each other (and insulting Ellsworth), Bryan shut them up and announced Carmella would make history by being the first to hand over the Briefcase, because he was ordering the match to happen again next week (the crowd booed when they realized they wouldn't get the match). He took the briefcase and left with it.

  • All the women started brawling, then Becky and Charlotte stopped to take out their aggression on Carmella instead. Becky used the Disarmer on Carmella and talked poo poo to Ellsworth.

  • Jinder Mahal defeated Luke Harper in the main event. Mahal won after, stop me if you've heard this one before, the Singh Brothers provided a distraction and then Jinder caught him from behind and hit his finisher. Baron Corbin showed up towards the end of the match and walked around the ring, mocking Jinder and warning him that he was in his head.

  • As Jinder celebrated, Randy Orton showed up, got past the Singhs and beat up Jinder inside and outside the ring. Before he could hit the RKO however the Singhs jumped Randy and gave him a kicking. Randy fought loose and hit RKOs on both, the latter off of a dive from the top turnbuckle. Randy posed for the crowd and taunted Jinder as he retreated with his belt.

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 07:56 on Jun 21, 2017

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Good promo by Cass but I imagine that third hour is going to loving die in the ratings, which is why they did Joe/Roman at the 2 hour mark.

Joe/Roman was real drat good too.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

DoctorGonzo posted:

also the last segment made me remember of clue for some reason

Corey really should have finished his accusation with,"Now I'm going to go home and make love to my wife."

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

At the very least Cass vs Enzo CAN'T BE as bad as the Cryme Tyme break-up. Can it? :ohdear:


This reminds me I gotta watch the new Better Call Saul!

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

bradzilla posted:

So Miz has a jobber stable now

I dig it, but I hope they clear things up with Maryse quickly because I far prefer them as a loving, conniving couple.

Chris James 2 posted:

"Good luck" is all I'm gonna say. That ending wrecks people

Jesus Christ :stare:

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Smackdown results added to the OP. I really dug Becky telling Bryan it shouldn't be difficult to do the right thing.

VJeff posted:

please loving stop doing the same finish for Jinder I'm dying over here.

I couldn't believe it... but also I could totally believe it. I don't know if it is a lack of imagination on Jinder's behalf or whoever agents his matches, but it's seriously the same ending every time and it's astonishing.

Soothing Vapors posted:

"The women started bickering when Charlotte said she was here for a decision and threatened to make Natalya look like Ellsworth. Tamina cut her off and used the same insult. "

lmao legit sorry I missed this

This was incredible. EVERYBODY just stops and stares and finally Bryan just continues on.

DoctorGonzo posted:

God drat American Gods is awesome. That lady from the x files i think its pretty eerie.

Hell yes, glad you like it. :)

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

AlmightyPants posted:

Could someone please explain clonfroggio to me? I only see it when I'm skimming these weekly threads.

As far as I know That DICK! came up with the idea of a gimmick of a clown/frog/pinocchio wrestler, and somebody (That DICK! again?) drew a picture of it:



Some people think it's really funny, but according to our poll very slightly more people prefer BRAUNNNNNNNNNNN

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

DoctorGonzo posted:

You can talk about Bayley all you want but the booking of Becky is really bad and always has been.

I wish Becky had won MITB :smith:

I actually did rather dig her venting her feelings to Daniel Bryan on the latest Smackdown and reminding him he was actually in a position to do something about all these people who constantly cheat/take shortcuts while she actually tries to do things the right way.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Twisted Eye posted:

gently caress da haters, WWE's ECW was my favorite of the three brands when I last watched weekly. I'm down for this

I really enjoyed their ECW show too, I think one of the biggest issues with it was the name - it wasn't "ECW" the way people remembered it (the good and the bad) and didn't really have any need to be called that.

Great memories of the Race Wars, School Newsletters, attempts to understand CM Punk's booking and trying to figure out what the hell Sabu was doing that made up the GDTs of the time too :allears:

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

lockhq posted:

What was the race wars and school newsletters? Both sound intriguing

Just a bunch of running jokes in the GDTs at the time. There was a weird kind of thing where the heel/face dynamic was kinda vaguely separated into black guys vs white guys, and a running joke in the thread that ECW was a high school and each week Matt Striker wrote up an editorial for the paper explaining what had happened the previous week with the Big Man on Campus, the stoners, the AV club nerds etc.

The one consistent thing you could rely on was Sabu pointing at the sky and declaring,"I'm Sabu!" every so often.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Also as others have noted, it would be one thing if they did this on like the 3rd or 4th Women's MITB ladder match, but they did it on the very first one ever.

I have to figure the idea was to build up what an important thing it was to have the match and then get heat by having Carmella win it in the shittiest way, but it was wrong for the first ever Women's MITB ladder match and made the entire division look terrible.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Vince is now torn between two desires: he's got to put Shinsuke Nakamura in his place and grind him down till he's generic...... BUT he also needs to book Shinsuke strong and treat him like a big star so that if Bryan gets cleared to wrestle Vince can dangle the idea of a Wrestlemania match against Shinsuke as a carrot to get him to re-sign.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

DoctorGonzo posted:

God dammit Gillian Anderson...

edit: GOD DAMMIT CRISPIN GLOVER!

Despite seeing his name in the opening credits I kept forgetting he was supposed to be in it.... then he showed up :hellyeah:

Niwrad posted:

I'm dumb, could someone explain to me what the gimmick is for Maria and Mike? They're in love? Are they heels?

Sickeningly in love, rampant PDAs in the cringey "eskimo kiss" way. Plus you have the fun stuff of Mike taking Maria's name, which both serves as shorthand in the macho world of WWE for him being "beneath" his wife, as well as suggesting that he's only employed because of who she is.

I imagine they're going to be a lot of fun to hate :)

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

RacistGuidingLight posted:

We have to lose that sax solo

Ahahaha

  • Locked thread