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little munchkin
the sun glints off the blade of my sword as I swing it through the air. you can tell that I'm a person you don't really want to mess with, when I have my sword on me

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Macnult

i twirl my sword outwards, then inwards, following it up with a move allowing it to rest underneath my armpit before i do the same motion again

vanisher

Heh, same. Although 'my sword' is what I call my junk, and I normally look intimidating swinging it around at those public trough urinals.

Starman Super DX

This title text is surprisingly sturdy.
Can this thread be about nerds with false perceptions of how they must look?

Last year at a con I saw this big dumpy looking guy, greasy, smelled bad, fat as hell, and on top of all of those thing he was wearing a shirt that his stomach was hanging out of and I swear it said-

"MAN CAVE- NO WOMEN, NO PROBLEMS!"

Tell me more!
btw ty Birdcon for the sweet spring sig

Darkman Fanpage
my japanese steel slices through the air effortlessly. i like to imagine there is a man standing in front of me. lets call him derek, who is not a stand in for my childhood bully who was not named derek. suffice to say that derek is dispatched by my graceful wielding of my magnificent blade. i often feel that i was born in the wrong time and continent. if i had been born in nippon (that is japanese for japan) in the 1600s i would have been a samurai.

Macnult

swords are not intimidating if you're a good enough ninja

Ultra Spoot

What I think i'm doing: my intense daily sword training workout which i use to keep my body perfectly toned to deal with enemies such as my rear end in a top hat dad or mean trolls online

What i'm actually doing: flailing my sword and nerd body around wildly while half humming the sephiroth theme and singing "SEPHIROTH!!!" real loudly every time it gets to that part of the song

Starshark

Starman Super DX posted:

Can this thread be about nerds with false perceptions of how they must look?

Last year at a con I saw this big dumpy looking guy, greasy, smelled bad, fat as hell, and on top of all of those thing he was wearing a shirt that his stomach was hanging out of and I swear it said-

"MAN CAVE- NO WOMEN, NO PROBLEMS!"

I went to a Marilyn Manson concert when he was on his way out and there was a pale redhead kid wearing goth make-up which made him look like a corn stalk with eyeliner.

little munchkin

Starman Super DX posted:

Can this thread be about nerds with false perceptions of how they must look?

Last year at a con I saw this big dumpy looking guy, greasy, smelled bad, fat as hell, and on top of all of those thing he was wearing a shirt that his stomach was hanging out of and I swear it said-

"MAN CAVE- NO WOMEN, NO PROBLEMS!"

no, your posts should be about your sword technique and how it's apparent that you could kill on a moments notice

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free Trapt CD

*~:coffeepal:~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings

*~:h:~*
much like mr rogers wants everyone to know they are a special person who deserves to be loved, i want you to know that i, more than other people, am prepared to slay you utterly with my sword if you trick me again with the ole 'shoe polish on the telescope' number.

Twenty Four


Sitting at the bar, brandishing the plastic cocktail sword from my appletini.

Slush Garbo

FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
I'm the strong silent type, I don't care to attract much attention or show off. That's why I just leave my pair of 5' claymore broadswords strapped to my back at all times

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
I unsheath my sword, revelling in the sound it makes as the steel slides out of the custom made scabbard. I re-sheath my blade, again marvelling at the pure sound of steel on the oil soaked wool that lines the inside of the scabbard. I pull the blade free again, listening closely to the steel gliding over the wool which has been meticulously soaked in the rust-preventing, blade preserving oil. I consider the smith who forged my blade as I am now re-sheathing my marvelously forged steel blade, it's edge glistening in the early morning sun as it disappears back into the sheath.

He heats the blade, hammering it over and over again, folding the steel upon itself, his hammer hitting the anvil one time for every three times it strikes the red-hot steel, which is even now sliding either into or out of the sheath, depending on whether or not I was drawing or re-sheathing it as I consider the smith who forged my blade. This will be how my enemies find me, pulling out my blade and then re-sheathing it, the sound of the steel sliding over the wool which is soaked in the precious preserving oil. Will I be ready? Just one more re-sheathing and I will join the battle in earnest! I must re-sheath it, to make sure it is properly coated in oil. Just one more time...

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

cda

by Hand Knit
i do moves as if I'm holding a sword., my enemies are confused. perhaps i have an invisible sword

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cda

by Hand Knit
"listen, buddy" i point to my hip, "this is where my sword would be, if i had my sword on me right now, which you're lucky i don't. but i could go get it at any time, because i have these" i show him my car keys and flip them gracefully from hand to hand

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vanisher

I will often do some sick moves with my broom. Because its not evenly weighted its an extra challenge and test of my skills.



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

little munchkin

cda posted:

"listen, buddy" i point to my hip, "this is where my sword would be, if i had my sword on me right now, which you're lucky i don't. but i could go get it at any time, because i have these" i show him my car keys and flip them gracefully from hand to hand

looking intimidating as I jingle my keys

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

cda

by Hand Knit
i insert the key and turn it in over swift, smooth motion. it's back in my pocket before she even notices. to her untrained perception, it appears as if the door swings open on its own, revealing my my museum of blades. "welcome to The Swordaterium, my lady," I say with a bow

FactsAreUseless

I swing my sword around. I swing it right round, baby, right round. Like a record, baby. My enemies flee.

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
"Stop, hey! What's that sound? It's me swinging my sword around!" -OP

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

Impkins Patootie







:hai:

HaveARottenDay

I stand steadfast at the edge of a rocky cliff side with the endless ocean before me. My eyes are closed. Sword in both hands pointed skyward, I begin to slowly lower my arms until the tip of the blade is face level. The meditation breaks, eyes blink open with a fiery stare. Quickly, I turn to face the enemy as my long raven-black hair is flowing in the howling wind.

I lower my stance in a form that strikes a perfect balance between aggressiveness and deadly calm. The sword now arched above my lowered visage ready to deflect any incoming blow. I speak "Kevin stop leaving the toilet paper on the roll holder you idiot!"

Intimidated so hard by me, the bastard runs.

Petr
liberals want to pass sword control because they love guns

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Putty

HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS
Only the ones who are as mentally honed as their swords can perform the wobbly pencil trick with their blades to a perfection.

Petr
*swings a noodle around* my sword is a grower not a shower

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little munchkin
a lot of people think swords are lame and only for dudes who wear fedoras. those people are actually thinking of katanas, which are different from swords. swords are incredibly dangerous

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Felonious Batman

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

Darkman Fanpage
people say never bring a knife to a gun fight. well that's okay because i'm bringing a sword, which is not a knife.

Starman Super DX

This title text is surprisingly sturdy.
the swipe of my blade is as fast as lightning. as I grasp, it is only within a fraction of a second that the click of the hilt hitting the sheath is heard. my speed is so unmatched that I often need to warn approaching civilians of the danger.
"MOM I'M PRACTICING WITH MY SWORD JEEZ"

Tell me more!
btw ty Birdcon for the sweet spring sig

FutonForensic

i press a button on a the audio system control. "Africa" by Toto starts blaring in surround sound. i'm methodically moving about the room with the blade, in a manner that's cool & fresh, yet distinctly Bushido in style. Bobby Kimball starts blaring on the refrain. in one swift motion, i cut down mom's Precious Memories figurines like so much chaff. i am a warrior


Ultra Spoot

Every time i have to write something down while other people are around, i do sword moves with the pen first. This lets people know i could kill tuem at any moment and that i'm basically john wick times a billion

Petr

Ultra Spoot posted:

Every time i have to write something down while other people are around, i do sword moves with the pen first. This lets people know i could kill tuem at any moment and that i'm basically john wick times a billion

Scrub-level. I do all my writing with my sword.

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Ultra Spoot

Petr posted:

Scrub-level. I do all my writing with my sword.

So do we have a writing duel or an actual sword duel now, not sure what the policy is here

Petr

Ultra Spoot posted:

So do we have a writing duel or an actual sword duel now, not sure what the policy is here

Swords first, then upgrade to pens if no winner.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

yeah actually they will
me practicing my sword moves in the mirror: Jack's BACK... Jack's Back... JAck's Back... Jack's BAck... JACK'S back...

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


*me swinging a spiralizer wildly* it's a safety sword, i feel so safe


HaveARottenDay



I stand before you- a sight to behold as my piercing gaze surely frightens you. But it is my sword that will pierce you this day.



This is you, the enemy, standing before my might. Your pitiful armor will not save you from my sword which I swing wildly as a means to confuse you. One false step and your shield will not stop my ultimate spin move. "HYAAH!!!" I shout loudly. YOur heart races as a cold sweat befallst' upon thee.

Darkman Fanpage

yeah actually they will posted:

me practicing my sword moves in the mirror: Jack's BACK... Jack's Back... JAck's Back... Jack's BAck... JACK'S back...

let 'er rip

alnilam

*points sword at u in an overhand stance*

*puts other hand forward and does th e Neo "come at me" hand flick thing*

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Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
...as you get closer you realize I am not in fact swinging my sword in an intimidating fashion, rather I am trying to get rid of these spider webs I just ran face-first into. I say, are there any spiders on me? Would you be a true hero and check for me? That would be most splendid!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

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