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Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

rezatahs posted:

knowing the vastness of this universe and thinking all life in it resides on our rock is seriously so monumentally stupid you just have to laugh

ha!

We haven't found evidence of anything to the contrary, though. Even the "fossilized bacteria" the other poster referred to is, at best, a theory and not indicative of extraterrestrial life.

We're alone. And that's a good thing, because if there happens to be intelligent life out there, it will be hostile. Peter Watts' book Blindsight does a pretty good job of explaining why in the quote on this page. Look at human history -- the entirety of our technology is based on either conflict or information gained from conflict. Even our space program is a result of war research; we went to the moon just to whip out our collective dicks and wave them furiously at Russia.

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Chitin
Apr 29, 2007

It is no sign of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

Gatekeeper posted:

"right now any speculation on number and size of breasts is just that, speculation, for all we know they lay eggs, but that said we've all got our fingers crossed for a platypus situation where they plop big honkin eggsies out their butts but also have space nipples on their space tits. eight space tits."

What do you think that would smell like haha

Thirsty Girl
Dec 5, 2015

Katamari Democracy posted:

Either this is a hilarious Hoax made by Anonymous, or this is really going to happen.

i feel sorry for you that you can only imagine these two outcomes

That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots
Buglord

Katamari Democracy posted:

Somewhere, someone is going to get totally turned on. Who is going to be the first to gently caress an alien.


http://www.news18.com/news/tech/nasa-ready-to-declare-alien-life-says-hacker-group-anonymous-1443571.html

Either this is a hilarious Hoax made by Anonymous, or this is really going to happen.

five bucks says it's a real dumb hoax

Thirsty Girl
Dec 5, 2015

i thought the bar for hilarious hoax was higher than putting a headline on your own website without any substantiating claims

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

the sad part is alien life wouldn't even be that big a deal

back in the whatevers there were people actually concerned that if we discover alien life it would like, destroy all the religions and anarchy would reign, everyone would just lose their loving minds at the idea that we weren't the only sentience. they carefully planned progressive disclosures and poo poo to warm everyone up to the idea, really roll it in super slow like

but now people can literally have their house washed away, or just straight up die, by something they don't, or can't, believe in. they can let their kids die because they conclude that is the safest thing for them. and the attention economy has gone completely zero-sum already, so your news bulletin has to fight with exponentially better crafted entertainment.

either: the few people who even heard about it would go huh thats cool and then go back to binging Spiderman versus Indiana Jones on Netflix, or:
everyone would go nuts for it, it would be the trending hashtag for three months, and it would be instantly commercialised. every store would be filled with lovely plastic alien poo poo until everyone hates aliens forever, which would take about 3 weeks

then as little as 4 weeks after that people would say stuff like "oh yeah, that's right, aliens do exist, huh thats cool" and then forget again and go back to binging the Backstreet Boy Batmen on Netflix

hitchensgoespop
Oct 22, 2008
If aliens exist then how come I'm still gay?

The Fuzzy Hulk
Nov 22, 2007

ASK ME ABOUT CROSSING THE STREAMS


I want to go on record that there are no space aliens.

Astoundingly Ugly Baby
Mar 22, 2006

"...crying bitch cave bitch boy."
- Anonymous Facebook user

hitchensgoespop posted:

If aliens exist then how come I'm still gay?

I want NASA to confirm the existence of gayliens

mst4k
Apr 18, 2003

budlitemolaram

The Fuzzy Hulk posted:

I want to go on record that there are no space aliens.

Im a space alien

OMFG FURRY
Jul 10, 2006

[snarky comment]

wide stance posted:

That's a lot easier than removing 99.9999999% of earth bacteria from a spacecraft to avoid false positives.

i always liked the idea that one of our probes we sent out decades ago has dormant chickenpox particles that, to the first intelligent life that makes contact with our probe, becomes Space Aids and wipes them all out

jsoh
Mar 24, 2007

O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight

Gatekeeper posted:

"right now any speculation on number and size of breasts is just that, speculation, for all we know they lay eggs, but that said we've all got our fingers crossed for a platypus situation where they plop big honkin eggsies out their butts but also have space nipples on their space tits. eight space tits."

I stopped reading at this post so I could tell you that actually platypus don't have nipples they secrete milk from pores and it runs down their folds and the babies put their mouth on the bottom of the folds

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

violent sex idiot posted:

I stopped reading at this post so I could tell you that actually platypus don't have nipples they secrete milk from pores and it runs down their folds and the babies put their mouth on the bottom of the folds

Platypus aren't real lol, it's just a beaver with a duck bill glued on

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011

by FactsAreUseless

violent sex idiot posted:

I stopped reading at this post so I could tell you that actually platypus don't have nipples they secrete milk from pores and it runs down their folds and the babies put their mouth on the bottom of the folds

gently caress keep going i'm almost there

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014

Warm und Fuzzy
Jun 20, 2006

Is it possible anonymous misspelled NSA?

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009

Screaming Idiot posted:

We haven't found evidence of anything to the contrary, though. Even the "fossilized bacteria" the other poster referred to is, at best, a theory and not indicative of extraterrestrial life.

We're alone. And that's a good thing, because if there happens to be intelligent life out there, it will be hostile. Peter Watts' book Blindsight does a pretty good job of explaining why in the quote on this page. Look at human history -- the entirety of our technology is based on either conflict or information gained from conflict. Even our space program is a result of war research; we went to the moon just to whip out our collective dicks and wave them furiously at Russia.

:smug: I think, haha, you will find that you just aren't creative enough.

You can only imagine aliens that act like humans. Or like life as we know it. Or like pretty much anything we've ever seen or experienced. Where-as I, an intellectual, can imagine aliens different from anything our own limited human knowledge could possibly predict. Picture aliens who so alien that they're nice to me and want to have sex with me.

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord

hitchensgoespop posted:

If aliens exist then how come I'm still gay?

Well poo poo. Never thought of it that way. Makes you think.

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

Chomp8645 posted:

The problem with space is that it's boring.

In media space has aliens, lasers, mysteries left behind by the ancients... and everyone gets to cruise the galaxy with warp drive and artificial gravity. It's cool and exciting and a new adventure always awaits!

In real life space has nothing. No aliens, no lasers, no ancient mysteries... and you travel at glacial speeds while peeing in a bag and eating lovely food. It's tedious and lame and nothing is out there but new kinds of rock and radiation.

if we blow our alien wad on bacteria people will be like oh oh there's alien bacteria that will make me poo poo a lot uh ok, we gotta hold out for the good stuff (alien equivalent of pete & pete)

tough stains
May 23, 2007

Desire gets the upper hand over insight and foresight and the results are often needless entanglement.

"The interpretation that such objects are microbe fossils is still vigorously debated, "

"according to The Sun"

Harakiri Potter
Oct 18, 2004

REACH HEAVEN THROUGH VIOLENCE BABY
What if we're the aliens and they just discovered a hard drive full of porn from 20000 years ago when our spaceship crashed and we enslaved the neanderthals and moved them to our home planet to build pyramids for our God Emperor and then our home boys never came back and got us because we were convicts or something?

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

by Azathoth

Harakiri Potter posted:

What if we're the aliens and they just discovered a hard drive full of porn from 20000 years ago when our spaceship crashed and we enslaved the neanderthals and moved them to our home planet to build pyramids for our God Emperor and then our home boys never came back and got us because we were convicts or something?

keanumatrixwoah.gif

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

Harakiri Potter posted:

What if we're the aliens and they just discovered a hard drive full of porn from 20000 years ago when our spaceship crashed and we enslaved the neanderthals and moved them to our home planet to build pyramids for our God Emperor and then our home boys never came back and got us because we were convicts or something?

We're all Golgafrinchans.

New Wave Jose
Aug 20, 2008

Harakiri Potter posted:

What if we're the aliens and they just discovered a hard drive full of porn from 20000 years ago when our spaceship crashed and we enslaved the neanderthals and moved them to our home planet to build pyramids for our God Emperor and then our home boys never came back and got us because we were convicts or something?

I would watch that movie

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Decebal posted:

Seems to me like "finding life" is only an afterthought at NASA or somewhere around 20% interest. Every time they launch something is to "test the rock composition that will tell us about the beginning of the Solar System" or " analyze the cloud structure on Saturn so we can send a cool picture of some gas"

It's never finding life. Sometimes they insert it, like an afterthought. "something something something that MAY also tell us if life could be possible" <------- a far cry from actually focusing on that.

I get it that science is vast and you have different specializations BUT if they want more funding how about you get the public excited with more that just spectroscopy raw data ?!

Europa is at least as interesting as Mars and we haven't sent 1(one) mission there !! We dropped poo poo on Titan an it's further away .

A bunch of jokers

It's an incremental process. They are working toward those big picture questions, but even if you had unlimited funding it's not clear how you would just design an instrument that would definitively answer the question about whether there is life or not. You can't skip steps in science. You have to start from what we know - we know there is life on earth, we know our solar system is a certain way, so the logical next step is to search for similar systems. We are doing that and is one of the main goals of the Kepler mission, and the answer seems to be that yes, there are some similar systems to ours. Now the question is whether any of the planets have atmospheres that could hypothetically support life, and unfortunately for the public that requires "boring" spectroscopy.

If we find a promising candidate from that then there are several possible further steps you'd have to take up to and including sending a probe to find out for sure. The point is you can't just jump to that last step and launch probes with life detecting capabilities in random directions. You'd never find anything. Space is really really huge, you have to be extremely specific about your targets.

Exciting the public is one thing but we can't lie to you and promise things that just aren't realistic.

Myrddin_Emrys
Mar 27, 2007

by Hand Knit

Harakiri Potter posted:

What if we're the aliens and they just discovered a hard drive full of porn from 20000 years ago when our spaceship crashed and we enslaved the neanderthals and moved them to our home planet to build pyramids for our God Emperor and then our home boys never came back and got us because we were convicts or something?

Frak!!!

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar
Also there have been ideas for missions to Europa for years. I don't think you realize how complicated it would be to send a probe capable of drilling through the ice and reaching the ocean, let alone detecting anything once you do that would be. Titan was easy compared to that kind of mission.

If you ever experienced the bureaucracy involved with doing science while working for the government, you'd be a little more forgiving of how slow it is. Criticize the government, not the scientists. They want to find out all the cool stuff just as much as you do.

Gildiss
Aug 24, 2010

Grimey Drawer
So are the aliens rushing or going for fast expand?

Should we build more cruisers?

Fried Watermelon
Dec 29, 2008


Screaming Idiot posted:

We haven't found evidence of anything to the contrary, though. Even the "fossilized bacteria" the other poster referred to is, at best, a theory and not indicative of extraterrestrial life.

We're alone. And that's a good thing, because if there happens to be intelligent life out there, it will be hostile. Peter Watts' book Blindsight does a pretty good job of explaining why in the quote on this page. Look at human history -- the entirety of our technology is based on either conflict or information gained from conflict. Even our space program is a result of war research; we went to the moon just to whip out our collective dicks and wave them furiously at Russia.

They won't be hostile, most likely they will be apathetic

Are humans hostile to ants? Only the most mentally ill of us are actively hostile to animals or creatures "below" us.

More likely that intelligent "life" will be AI or machines after all bio life retreats into VR. And who's to say that we aren't just self replicated machines seeded throughout the universe?

A. Beaverhausen
Nov 11, 2008

by R. Guyovich
This thread is proof that man is arrogant as gently caress

COMRADES
Apr 3, 2017

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
To be frank any alien dumb enough to make contact with us right now probably deserves whatever they get as a result.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

If you ever experienced the bureaucracy involved with doing science while working for the government, you'd be a little more forgiving of how slow it is. Criticize the government, not the scientists. They want to find out all the cool stuff just as much as you do.

Edgar Mitchell posted:

“You develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it. From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch.”

COMRADES
Apr 3, 2017

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
e: oops

Myrddin_Emrys
Mar 27, 2007

by Hand Knit
Hostile life forms, like humans would never develop faster than light technology as they would have killed themselves off. If aliens come, they would more than likely be a peaceful race, far, far superior to us savages.

Toadvine
Mar 16, 2009
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.
If we do enough dmt the machine elves will just tell us how to build portals

Blazing Ownager
Jun 2, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

do u know jenny posted:

Trump all ready to deport them

He's seen the movies. He knows they're only interested in sending their exotic big-game human hunters and shapechanging world destroyers to our planet. Real bad dudes.

Scrotum Modem
Sep 12, 2014

quote:

Anonymous states,

hahahahahahahaha

honestly i wish a group like that (if you want to claim this unorganized scattered label as a group) had some integrity for stuff like this, but they loving ruined it

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
So is Anonymous in the trolling business now?

Remember when their big goal was to topple Scientology?

Anonymous go away.

Blazing Ownager
Jun 2, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Joe Mama Poonana posted:

hahahahahahahaha

honestly i wish a group like that (if you want to claim this unorganized scattered label as a group) had some integrity for stuff like this, but they loving ruined it

I saw the last Fast & Furious movie which involves a bunch of sports cars fighting a nuclear submarine and The Rock redirecting torpedo with his bare hands and the most unrealistic thing in the movie remains a line where people are taking anonymous seriously

Blazing Ownager
Jun 2, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Myrddin_Emrys posted:

Hostile life forms, like humans would never develop faster than light technology as they would have killed themselves off. If aliens come, they would more than likely be a peaceful race, far, far superior to us savages.

This is a common line of thinking but it's flawed. Almost all of our real major advancements in science and technology were BECAUSE of warfare. I dare say without things like World War 2 we'd be decades behind in technology.

If humans find something to kick the rear end of that requires FTL, we'll want to buckle down and make FTL to go kick it's rear end.

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Myrddin_Emrys
Mar 27, 2007

by Hand Knit

Blazing Ownager posted:

This is a common line of thinking but it's flawed. Almost all of our real major advancements in science and technology were BECAUSE of warfare. I dare say without things like World War 2 we'd be decades behind in technology.

If humans find something to kick the rear end of that requires FTL, we'll want to buckle down and make FTL to go kick it's rear end.

Do you think humans will live long enough to develop FTL before it kills itself off, especially if you look at the worlds current climate?

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