Drop your (great) Balls (of fire) on the WWE Discussion for 6/26

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Drop your (great) Balls (of fire) on the WWE Discussion for 6/26

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KungFu Grip: Jun 18, 2008

____________________________

Great Balls of Fire(lol) on July 9th

WWE Universal Championship Match
Brock Lesnar(c) w/ Paul Heyman vs. Samoa Joe

Ambulance Match
Braun Strowman vs Roman Reigns

Bray Wyatt vs. Seth Rollins

WWE Raw Women's Championship Match
Alexa Bliss(c) vs. Sasha Banks

WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match
Neville(c) vs. Akira Tozawa w/ Titus O'Neil

____________________________

Raw Results

Raw started with Roman Reigns coming out to boos and acting heelish. He accepts Braun's challenge to an Ambulance match then an ambulance comes out and distracts Reigns. He examines the ambulance only to be ambushed from behind by Braun Strowman. Braun tosses him onto the stage then just chucks him hard off the ramp and into the side of the ambulance. Braun then throws him inside the ambulance and walks off in triumph.

Elias Sampson is in the ring with Cesaro and Sheamus. He says he normally is a solo artist but tonight is different, before they start singing The Hardyz and Finn Balor interrupt for their 6 man tag match. Some guy from the new Transformers movie was on commentary.

Finn and the Hardyz defeated Cesaro, Sheamus & Sampson when Finn pinned Cesaro. Good match.

Goldust appeared on the screen giving another Shattered Dreams promo he says tonight he puts the finishing touches on his masterpiece with a match against R-Truth.

Goldust came out in a retro look and his own camera man dressed in gold and with a gold camera. R-Truth came out and Goldust just used his camera man as a human shield and cheap shotted Truth and laid him out before the match started.

Paul Heyman is interviewed about Brock Lesnar coming to get payback against Joe, but Joe comes in and starts to choke out Heyman. Joe stops and says that the choke is for Brock tonight only.

There is a Women's Gauntlet match and Kurt Angle is backstage with a tumbler as Bayley picks her number out of it. Through out the night they show Emma, Dana Brooke, Mickie James, and Sasha Banks pick their numbers too.

The Miz and a grumpy Maryse are out for Miz TV and Miz's guests are the basket ball family LeVar, Lonzo, and LaMelo Ball. LeVar is out of his mind and I honestly have no idea what happened during this segment it was so loving surreal. Miz and LeVar took their shirts off and were about to fight until Dean Ambrose came out and I guess there is another 6 man tag next????

Bo Dallas, The Miz, and Curtis Axel defeated Rhyno, Heath Slater, and Dean Ambrose when Bo pinned Rhyno.

Enzo Amore came out and did his whole shtick minus the Big Cass and SAWFT part. Enzo said he's been trying to contact Big Cass in person but he won't respond to him on any social media or even when he went to his mother's house. He asks Cass to come and and Cass does to Enzo's theme song. Enzo pours his heart out to Cass about how he knows he's a screw up and big mouth. He says this is beyond wrestling, beyond WWE, this is personal because they are basically brothers and as brothers he doesn't want to throw this away before they both get gold in WWE. Cass asks for the mic and says Enzo's right. He says last week was the most pathetic he's felt in his life. What he did was uncalled for as he knows what Enzo was like in his whole life and he made a mistake and was sorry. Enzo and Cass hug as Cass then goes into the spiel saying that if anyone thought they'd actually break up over something so trivial then they were S-A-W-F-T, SAWFT! Enzo and Cass walk up the ramp and pose until Cass clotheslines Enzo. Cass then gorilla presses Enzo all the way down the ramp. When we come back from commercial Cass threatens Corey Graves for sticking his nose in Enzo & Cass's business and says he can't lay a finger on Corey because he's in Kurt Angle's pocket.

Seth Rollins defeated Curt Hawkins. After the match Bray Wyatt challenged him to a match at Great Balls of Fire.

Paul Heyman is in the ring and introduces Brock Lesnar. As Brock is on the ramp Samoa Joe comes out and locks him in the kokina clutch. Brock tries getting out and slamming Joe into the tron a couple of times but Joe keeps locking the sleeper hold in. Joe has turned Brock's head red from choking him out. Brock is almost unconscious until Revival and Anderson & Gallows pull Joe off Brock. Brock is winded and gasping for air on the ground as Joe says that's what he's gonna do at the PPV.

Neville defeats Lince Dorado. Akira Tozawa was ringside in the Titus Brand VIP section and hopped into the ring to fight Neville until Titus O'Neil came out and said to hold off the fight for the PPV for the big payday.

Paul Heyman is stopped backstage and gets interviewed about what just happened. Heyman says that proves his point about Joe not being a real man and not being a real Samoan who takes the fight face to face like every male and female Samoan does, but Joe doesn't. Heyman says at the Great Balls of Fire PPV its going to be face to face long drawn out brutal fight because Brock wants revenge and not just a win. Heyman then sings Great Balls of Fire.

Nia Jax is leaving Angle's office after getting her number last but Alexa Bliss stops her. Alexa tries forging an alliance about both of them being unlikely WWE stars. Alexa being smaller than even some of the women and her own family laughing that she joined WWE. She says she knows Nia probably got mocked too and they should stick together. Alexa says she knows Nia doesn't need it but wishes Nia luck. Nia says that's right she doesn't need luck and she doesn't need Alexa because she's going to see her at Great Balls of Fire.

Bayley is out first followed by Nia Jax. Bayley gets some offense but Nia flattens her with a Samoan Drop. Then Mickie James comes out and Nia beats her. Dana Brooke is out and Nia squashes her. Emma comes out to be squashed as well. Sasha Banks is the final wrestler in the match and instantly takes Nia to the outside and lays her outwith a dive. Nia however man handles and hurts Sasha and keeps tossing her out of "her" ring. Sasha reveres a move and locks in a modified Bank Statement and taps out Nia Jax to become #1 Contender. Kurt Angle comes out to congratulate Sasha then Alexa Bliss comes out and Sasha dropkicks Alexa and takes the title and poses with it to end Raw.

____________________________

Smackdown Results

Daniel Bryan came out to a big reaction and hyped up the title match between Naomi/Lana tonight, and especially the Second Ever Women's MITB Ladder match. Carmella came out and did a really good promo, infuriated at being stripped of the briefcase since there were no rules in a MITB Ladder match so she CAN'T have cheated. Bryan polled the crowd who overwhelmingly cheered for the MITB match to go ahead, and Ellsworth cut a very good promo taunting the crowd and accusing Bryan of being such a coward he faked an injury to get out of competing. Bryan explained tonight was about REAL superstars, then announced Ellsworth wasn't just banned from ringside but would be banned for the entire arena (huge pop from the crowd). Security came and hauled Ellsworth away while Carmella protested. Bryan wished Carmella the best of luck tonight.
The Usos defeated The Hype Bros, pinning Zack Ryder to ruin the Hype Bros chances at getting the title match they wanted. The New Day arrived post-match to point out this was the first time in awhile the Usos had actually stuck around for an entire match. The Usos claimed to have already beaten New Day, mocked them for running to Shane McMahon to complain, then took them up on their challenge to a title match at the Battleground PPV.
"Free Agent" John Cena will be on the July 4th Smackdown.
In a Fashion Vice segment, the Fashion Police interrogated the Ascension with a good cop/bad cop routine to try and figure out why they smashed up their office. Fandango attempted to bribe them with Eddie Money tickets and it almost worked till they remembered they only listen to Grindcore Thrash Metal. Breeze took over but forgot to be bad cop (because they're GREAT Cops) and offered them refreshments. Ascension revealed that they weren't the culprits after all but had just come to the ring at MITB because they wanted to be on the show. The office was smashed up while Breeze and Fandango were in the other room, and as they pondered the mystery the Ascension quietly took the Eddie Money tickets.
Lana jumped Naomi from behind before the start of their title match. Naomi kicked her rear end anyway and won with dominance.
Becky Lynch was interviewed backstage and claimed she would be the first women to LEGITIMATELY win the MITB Briefcase.
Aiden English started to sing in the ring but was interrupted by Randy Orton. English refused to leave during the commercial break so Orton RKOed him. Orton sat down in the ring and said he wouldn't leave till he got what he wanted: a rematch for the WWE Title. He threatened to go beat some rear end backstage, so Shane McMahon came out to try and talk reason. Orton said he was embarassed in front of his family so he was going to get revenge one way or the other, and the easiest way was to give him the title match. Shane reminded him that Orton had used similar tactics in the past but was impressed by how fired up he was: he will face Jinder Mahal at Battleground, but Jinder will choose the stipulation.
Jinder came out, complained that Randy didn't deserve another title match, but the stipulation was that their match would be in the Punjabi Prison match. By a remarkable coincidence, the video package boys just happened to have a video handy for this occasion!
Backstage Bryan was talking on the phone about the Punjabi Prison when AJ Styles and then Kevin Owens showed up. Owens called Styles a loser so Styles called him a whale's vagina. Bryan announced a battle royal would be held next week to decide the next contender for Owens' US Title, and Styles was invited.
Maria and Mike Kanellis showed up to explain that they love each other very much but Sami Zayn interupted (and apologized profusely as he did it) as he went to the ring for his match with Baron Corbin.
Baron Corbin managed to get his first win over Sami Zayn in awhile, hitting the End of Days to get the pin after a mostly even match. Shinsuke Nakamura was shown backstage watching the match, and was interviewed afterwards. He said Corbin was dangerous but motivated by fear, fear of what Shinsuke could do to him.... and he was right to be afraid.
The Usos and New Day will have a rap battle next week. Seriously.
Carmella won the second Women's MITB Ladder match. Through most of the match she tried to take opportunities when the rest of the women were out, but they constantly thwarted her. Ellsworth broke back into the arena and offered the climb the ladder for her again which she accepted, but Becky Lynch took out first Carmella and then Ellsworth, crotching him on the top rope. Becky looked to have the match won but Carmella pulled her back down to the mat and hurt her leg. Becky still seemed on top of things but Carmella returned with a steel chair and took her out. Carmella climbed the ladder, took down the briefcase herself and then sat atop the ladder taunting the crowd as the show went off the air.

Somebody fucked around with this message at 09:32 on Jun 28, 2017

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:07

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# ? Apr 17, 2024 00:26

Raskolnikov38: Mar 3, 2007; We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold

lol sasha's winning the title again

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:08

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:10

ijii: Mar 17, 2007; I'M APPARENTLY GAY AND MY POSTING SUCKS.

I liked Nia vs Sasha in the main event.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:10

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

Correct me if I'm wrong, doesn't that women's match make more sense as a six-pack elimination, not a gauntlet match?

Raskolnikov38 posted:

lol sasha's winning the title again

A good thing, imo.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:10

SamuraiFoochs: Jan 16, 2007; Grimey Drawer

I thought Raw was pretty good. Joe should absolutely beat Brock.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:10

CubsWoo: Aug 17, 2005; Where the big boys RAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH FUCK YOU

Raskolnikov38 posted:

lol sasha's winning the title again

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:11

SamuraiFoochs: Jan 16, 2007; Grimey Drawer

VJeff posted:

Correct me if I'm wrong, doesn't that women's match make more sense as a six-pack elimination, not a gauntlet match?

No. That was a gauntlet match.

Also that Lavar Ball segment ruled. It wasn't GOOD, but it ruled.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:13

ribtstu: Feb 11, 2017

wil alexa/sasha be a shoot battle since sasha bullied her or whatever

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:13

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

SamuraiFoochs posted:

No. That was a gauntlet match.

Also that Lavar Ball segment ruled. It wasn't GOOD, but it ruled.

No, I mean like.

If it was an elimination match, you can do all that stuff where Nia eliminates everybody, but Sasha's still there from the beginning so you don't have Babyface Sasha vulturing a win from Heel Nia who just went the distance.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:16

Cabbit: Jul 19, 2001; _{Is that everything you have?}

CubsWoo posted:

I'm glad of it, because Charlotte and Sasha can actually wrestle an exciting match and have good chemistry, unlike like half the division and especially Bayley.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:17

SamuraiFoochs: Jan 16, 2007; Grimey Drawer

VJeff posted:

No, I mean like.

If it was an elimination match, you can do all that stuff where Nia eliminates everybody, but Sasha's still there from the beginning so you don't have Babyface Sasha vulturing a win from Heel Nia who just went the distance.

Ohh I see. Yeah you're right.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:17

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

CubsWoo posted:

Charlotte needs to come back and reclaim her throne a couple more times to really establish dominance in this feud

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:17

Strawberry Panda: Nov 4, 2007; Breakfast Defecting, Slow Dick Touching, Root Beer Barreling SwagVP

Nice of WWE to promise us Brock vs. Joe won't be a squash because Brock doesn't want it to be.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:30

KungFu Grip: Jun 18, 2008

Cabbit posted:

I'm glad of it, because Charlotte and Sasha can actually wrestle an exciting match and have good chemistry, unlike like half the division and especially Bayley.

this is a lie and all their matches were sloppy as gently caress

raw was actually pretty good i thought

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:31

Chris James 2: Aug 9, 2012

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:32

Big Coffin Hunter: Aug 13, 2005

Raskolnikov38 posted:

lol sasha's winning the title again

hopefully

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:34

achillesforever6: Apr 23, 2012; psst you wanna do a communism?

KungFu Grip posted:

this is a lie and all their matches were sloppy as gently caress

raw was actually pretty good i thought

Yeah they were sloppy as gently caress but they were exciting in that Sabu way of "Oh god someone is going to loving die!" therefore good

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:35

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Stephanie is so awesome! :iamafag:

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:36

Big Coffin Hunter: Aug 13, 2005

By the way I liked Roman's promo and this was generally a good show.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:36

AsInHowe: Jan 11, 2007; red winged angel

ribtstu posted:

wil alexa/sasha be a shoot battle since sasha bullied her or whatever

Only if it's some kind of food-based gimmick match

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:38

Big Coffin Hunter: Aug 13, 2005

achillesforever6 posted:

Yeah they were sloppy as gently caress but they were exciting in that Sabu way of "Oh god someone is going to loving die!" therefore good

Plus, I can remember most of those matches and can't remember a goddamn Alexa Bliss match for the life of me since she stopped working with Becky Lynch

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:38

Writer Cath: Apr 1, 2007; Box. Flipped.; Plaster Town Cop

Raw feels like it's slowly improving. It's like the shows are building to the main event and each show is dropping hints as to why you should watch next week. Baby steps.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:42

21 Hoot Salute: Feb 8, 2005; Night-time, turn around
Lonely is the city tonight
Night-time, all around
Lonely in the city tonight

Stephanie Discussion for 6/26 is Stephanie

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:42

SamuraiFoochs: Jan 16, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Big Coffin Hunter posted:

By the way I liked Roman's promo and this was generally a good show.

Writer Cath posted:

Raw feels like it's slowly improving. It's like the shows are building to the main event and each show is dropping hints as to why you should watch next week. Baby steps.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:46

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

Writer Cath posted:

Raw feels like it's slowly improving. It's like the shows are building to the main event and each show is dropping hints as to why you should watch next week. Baby steps.

I dunno, I don't feel any particular reason to watch the go-home show, tbh. I watched this week for Brock and Joe and was pleasantly surprised by most of the rest of the show but I can't think of any hooks for next week?

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:47

Dimebags Brain: Feb 18, 2013

Brock/Joe and Neville/Tozawa what the gently caress WWE why are you putting in matches I actually want to see? Why couldn't you have done this for the past three years?

Tozawa/Neville better just be 14 minutes of insane Dragon Gate spots.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:49

Beef Jerky Robot: Sep 20, 2009; "And the DICK?"

I hope it's Joe vs Braun at summerslam

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:49

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK: Sep 11, 2008; Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola
-Cheap Trick; Nap Ghost

VJeff posted:

No, I mean like.

If it was an elimination match, you can do all that stuff where Nia eliminates everybody, but Sasha's still there from the beginning so you don't have Babyface Sasha vulturing a win from Heel Nia who just went the distance.

an elimination match would have buried Bayley in new levels of geekdom

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:50

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

exploded mummy posted:

an elimination match would have buried Bayley in new levels of geekdom

Jesus, that's splitting hairs at this point.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:51

mkay0: Nov 7, 2003; I crawled the earth, but now I'm higher
2010, watch it go to fire

The fact that people think that there's even a sliver of doubt that Joe might win at GBoF is great testament to the buildup. Sadly, there's zero chance it happens.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 05:03

NickRoweFillea: Sep 27, 2012; doin thangs

I'm so happy at the Ball family segment. It was so perfect

# ? Jun 27, 2017 05:11

NickRoweFillea: Sep 27, 2012; doin thangs

Also Joe/Brock is a match I've wanted to see for so long and I pray to Lavar that it's competitive and not a lame rear end Suplex City Squash

# ? Jun 27, 2017 05:12

Platypus Farm: Jul 12, 2003; Francis is my name, and breeding is my game. All bow before the fertile smut-god!

mkay0 posted:

The fact that people think that there's even a sliver of doubt that Joe might win at GBoF is great testament to the buildup. Sadly, there's zero chance it happens.

I could see him losing to joe who then gets demolished by roman at a throw-away raw defense, who is then in turn slaughtered at SS by brock and then the long, awful, painful build to reigns/lesnar at mania begins and joe is returned to NXT.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 05:12

Codependent Poster: Oct 20, 2003

https://twitter.com/gifdsports/status/879507443180593152

# ? Jun 27, 2017 05:14

The_Rob: Feb 1, 2007; Blah blah blah blah!!

NickRoweFillea posted:

Also Joe/Brock is a match I've wanted to see for so long and I pray to Lavar that it's competitive and not a lame rear end Suplex City Squash

Yeah straight up I wanna see two big dudes hit each other real hard and toss each other around.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 05:18

Strawberry Panda: Nov 4, 2007; Breakfast Defecting, Slow Dick Touching, Root Beer Barreling SwagVP

I was on a call when that segment was going on and had to watch it with the sound off, but did Miz make any puns about them being the Balls and the upcoming PPV being Great Balls of Fire?

Also, RAW has been much better since they've started booking it as a 2 hour show rather than let the main event storyline drag on for the full three hours. Knowing that something is going to happen at the end of hour 2 makes the whole show go down a lot smoother.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 05:19

reignofevil: Nov 7, 2008

Strawberry Panda posted:

I was on a call when that segment was going on and had to watch it with the sound off, but did Miz make any puns about them being the Balls and the upcoming PPV being Great Balls of Fire?

Actually Miz got called the n word.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 05:23

NickRoweFillea: Sep 27, 2012; doin thangs

Strawberry Panda posted:

I was on a call when that segment was going on and had to watch it with the sound off, but did Miz make any puns about them being the Balls and the upcoming PPV being Great Balls of Fire?

Also, RAW has been much better since they've started booking it as a 2 hour show rather than let the main event storyline drag on for the full three hours. Knowing that something is going to happen at the end of hour 2 makes the whole show go down a lot smoother.

LaMelo asked Dean Ambrose to beat that nigga rear end

# ? Jun 27, 2017 05:32

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# ? Apr 17, 2024 00:26

That DICK!: Sep 28, 2010

Chris James 2 posted:

# ? Jun 27, 2017 05:48

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > Drop your (great) Balls (of fire) on the WWE Discussion for 6/26

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