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one time i went in to a gas station to get a drink and as i was coming back from the cooler i hear this nerdy dude say to his friend "soar high like the sun, icarus" in the most monotone way possible. never forgot it for some reason. also once when i was 9 i was running down the sidewalk with my arms up in the air, hitting the tree branches. i felt something strange and then noticed there was a weird greenish white fizzy liquid on my hands. always assumed it was birdpiss
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Jun 27, 2017 17:56
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 22:51 |
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I was behind some dude getting a fountain pop, he walked away and then I got one. I then heard a loud "HOLY poo poo" scream from around the corner, apparently he somehow managed to drop his fountain pop and have an ice cube ricochet and hit him in the eye. Did not think such a thing was physically possible, but it was very funny AND memorable.
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Jun 27, 2017 17:58
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some dude outside my office window got shot in the head and died in the parking lot
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Jun 27, 2017 17:59
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Well that escalated quickly.
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Jun 27, 2017 18:01
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Cops shot a bear in my backyars and I came home from school to see the corpse in a black garbage back, paws sticking out. Big pool of blood in the back yard. Poor thing.
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Jun 27, 2017 18:01
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I whispered "bloody mary" in a dark bathroom 3 times u'll never guess what i saw next
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Jun 27, 2017 18:03
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domestic violence at an indian reservation gas station parking lot at 9 in the morning  a very fat woman stuck in her tiny car outside her house. her two sons knocking door to door asking neighbors for pam spray to grease the car door frame with lol
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Jun 27, 2017 18:09
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Watched a juggalette make out with her aunt and uncle in a bar on her 21st birthday. They got to 2nd base (or whatever base is motorboating uncovered breasts and hands down pants)
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Jun 27, 2017 18:09
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Monos Bullet posted:a very fat woman stuck in her tiny car outside her house. her two sons knocking door to door asking neighbors for pam spray to grease the car door frame with lol What could their pitch have been like? What do you think worked?
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Jun 27, 2017 18:11
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That thing where a short guy tries to fight a tall guy but the tall guy just puts his hand on the short guy's head and the short guy's throwing punches but they can't reach.
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Jun 27, 2017 18:14
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Jun 27, 2017 18:14
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Not making this poo poo up. Downtown Toronto, middle of the night. This seven foot tall black dude in a classy looking overcoat comes rollerblading towards us. In his right hand, a hockey stick. In his left hand, a giant dead pigeon. And he's skating down the sidewalk holding the stick and pigeon like it's his staff and orb. What the gently caress.
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Jun 27, 2017 18:19
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The other night I was in a line at a gas station. It was long because they were changing shifts or something and there were two guys behind me in line, each of them holding a couple 12 packs of cheap beer and both seemed a bit drunk already. One guy looks at the other and in a half drunk too loud and too friendly way says "Hey you look really familiar, aren't you so-and-so's friend?" and the other dude is looking at his feet and mumbles "No". The first guy drops it for a second and asks if he knows him from a party, or did they use to work together, and on and on. He's being all jovial and friendly, and the second guy acting more and uncomfortable. Finally the second guy meets his eye and looks really sad and half shouts, "Fine Goddammit. It's AA. We go to the same AA meetings!" Then in a moment of beauty the pushy guy smiles really wide, taps one of his 12 packs against the other guys, and says "Yeah, That's it! CHEERS!"
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Jun 27, 2017 18:23
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Coming home one night and was stopped at a light. Saw this black teenaged kid horseplaying with his girlfriend out of the corner of my eye and they ran across the street. The precinct police station was near where they were running. I heard them both laughing and joking. Suddenly two squads, lights blazing came over from the police station. Several other squads came from several other directions blocking off the intersection. Cops jumped out of their cars, yelling at the black kid to get on the ground. Several had their guns drawn and pointed at him. They had him down on the ground, screaming at him. The girl is standing there stunned. I ask her wtf? She doesn't know. I ask the cops. They say they had some call about domestic violence. I'm surprised they didn't shoot the kid. I filed a complaint about the incident but of course, nothing happened. SPP.
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Jun 27, 2017 18:30
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unpleasantly turgid posted:What could their pitch have been like? What do you think worked? they were elementary school aged so they were very upfront about the situation and a little ashamed. if i had more time to watch i'd have stuck around to see how the mom finally got out but it's a mystery Turdo posted:That thing where a short guy tries to fight a tall guy but the tall guy just puts his hand on the short guy's head and the short guy's throwing punches but they can't reach. that reminds me a time in middle school there were to kids in my social studies class, mike and keenan. they got into a fight or something the week before and that day was the day they were allowed back in school. we were like 15 minutes into class when mike comes in ready for round 2 with keenan who is sitting next to me, mike walked up to his desk and just started pounding keenans head in and immediately the teachers and an administration were in there pulling them apart and mike was being hauled away. keenan was crying and trying to fight back but a teacher did that palm to forehead thing just like you describe and it was the saddest thing i ever saw.
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Jun 27, 2017 18:32
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One of the few non-depressing things I've seen in my decade of city living was a Boston terrier running and pulling a guy in a wheel chair through the park. I would have thought a dog that small wouldn't be able to pull a grown man but there it was. They both looked like they were having a really good time. Oh, I also saw a man and a dog riding a motorcycle together. The dog had on a riding helmet and goggles.
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Jun 27, 2017 18:34
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I was in a tornado that took the top 2/3 of our house off, killed 49 people I think in our town total. I was like 7 and still remember it.
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Jun 27, 2017 18:35
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I watched someone be murdered. Well, I heard the gunshot and watch him die in his wife's arms, I didn't actually see the guy pull the gun on him and shoot him. So I watched him die after being shot, I'm not sure where that falls in the being murdered timeline.
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Jun 27, 2017 18:36
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One time in college there was a black guy skateboarding down the street fistpumping and he yelled "I'm about to slice and dice 10 niggas!" and I still say it basically all the time
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Jun 27, 2017 18:37
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Turdo posted:That thing where a short guy tries to fight a tall guy but the tall guy just puts his hand on the short guy's head and the short guy's throwing punches but they can't reach. I saw that once while waiting for the school bus between these two kids in my neighborhood who had been gearing up for a fight for a long time. I'm a tall dude who was not involved in the fight but I made a mental note that that move can actually work. I once saw a guy try and push his stalled car by himself from the driver side while trying to steer it. He was managing this just fine except it was the mid 90s and his phat hip hop pants were so cartoonishly baggy and impractical that they slowly fell down around his ankles as he pushed the car. Also it was winter and the huge pants were dragging in the filthy road slush.
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Jun 27, 2017 18:47
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I was about 13 walking down a small downtown street and suddenly I hear this sickening crunch and see a young brunette woman fly backwards 3-4 feet from being hit by a green jeep. There's another almost crunchlike thudding sound as she hits the ground. There was this apprehensive two second pause where the world went entirely silent and it seemed to last years and then she started screaming over and over again that she was okay, as if trying to reassure herself. She went quiet before the ambulance got there.
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Jun 27, 2017 18:55
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Years ago in hospital during the night shift some poor old woman from the ward next door freaked out. She came running and screaming in the darkness down the middle of our ward, and just as she was about to pass the nurse's station the back of her hospital gown blew open and she had a seemingly endless stream of violent diarrhoea which made her look like some kind of weird low flying jet-propelled old lady.
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Jun 27, 2017 19:07
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Driving a one lane country road in the middle of the night during hunting season I came across a deer that had been shot but not killed. It's back legs were paralyzed from being shot in the spine and the miserable thing kept collapsing while trying to stand with its front legs. I wasn't able to get around it so I had to sit there and watch it drag itself across the road with its front hooves, which took at least five minutes. It was frothing from exhaustion and I could hear it panting and scraping, creepy as gently caress all around. Only time I ever wished I had a gun on me, so that I could've put it down. There's a 100% chance it was eaten alive by coyotes.
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Jun 27, 2017 19:16
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At my last job I saw one of my crackhead co-workers get into a fist fight with one of the bakery people after stealing a muffin. I remember hearing Coke boy shout out "I dug it out of your mom's pussy" before they started throwing punches in the bread section. Said crackhead also managed to slice his hand open on his box cutter, bleed all over my dairy cooler, and knock over a stack of 30 or so gallons of milk. He still works there, I think.
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Jun 27, 2017 19:17
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In college I lived on the main drag, and spent a lot of nights with my friends getting drunk in the front yard and yelling at people. One such warm, dry San Diego night, at about 2 am, a BMW 7 series goes into skid out of nowhere and wraps itself around a traffic light pole. We all get up screaming and run over to see what happened. Some dumb rich sorority girl is sitting inside, cell phone still in one hand, cigarette still in the other. Totally shittanked, like .30 or greater shittanked. She had been crying about something prior to the crash and she's got eye liner and makeup smeared all over her face. No shoes, I mean not even in the car. Her slutty dress is hiked up past her navel and she doesn't even seem to notice. Against my advice, my My-Cousin-Vinny-like friend Tommy opens the door, pushes back the airbags, and asks if she's alright. The first thing she says is "Oh my god, what do I do?" Tommy gives a quick one world answer. "Run!" So this chick takes off running into the darkened neighborhood, no shoes, smoke still in hand. The last we see of her is her thong-laden rear end as she disappears into the shadows into an uncertain future. When the cops show up five minutes later and ask what happened, Tommy says "crazy bitch ran off thataway!" and 5-0 drives off in hot pursuit. Never found out how that one ended, but I'd pay cash money to find out.
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Jun 27, 2017 19:20
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in a taxi cab, driver ran over a kid on a bike - driver hesitates but just keeps on going. i was 7 and refused to look back but i think the kid died rough start to summer vacation i tell ya what
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Jun 27, 2017 19:20
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i saw a robin eat a worm
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Jun 27, 2017 19:38
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i once saw a snake get chopped in half with an axe
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Jun 27, 2017 19:42
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There are two really lovely/blighted/dead plum trees on my property. Whatever fruit they bear is lovely, underdeveloped, tiny, and hard as hell bar rotting. Out of curiosity, I tried to peel a rotten one apart and found a worm in it! I carefully grab the tiny bitchass worm and try to drop it into a spider's web that was also nearby. It was an orchard orbweaver spider, pretty small and typical, and I managed to drop it in the web. But barely, since it only landed on a thread of the web. The spider immediately goes for it, but instead of eating it, it ran up, tapped the grub with one of its legs, then retreats to the center. The grub sat there, just spinning and spinning on a thread with the spider obviously no longer interested in it. Maybe it thought it was a wasp that eats spiders or something, or wasn't hungry for some reason. I waited for a few minutes and then the wind blew the grub out of the web. The moment it hits the ground, a big black ant starts crushing the grub with its mandibles kills it. Way cooler. I wanted to help you, spider. Now an ant stole your meal. Just move around more dammit 
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Jun 27, 2017 19:49
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Also saw an eagle carrying a huge snake. Thought it was badass. I've seen a lot of random poo poo. Never seen anyone get murdered though.
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Jun 27, 2017 19:54
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when I was around 10 and living in d.c. my father was driving me back home from soccer paractice. we were at the last stop light before we turned onto our street when we see two ppl arguing in there cars. one in front and one behind. the guy in the car up front gets out opens his truck and pulls out a baseball bat and begins to slam the other cars front window. light turns green and my dad speeds off. my dad was in the military and even though it was probly wise not to get involved I always thought my dad was a giant wuss ever since.
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Jun 27, 2017 20:09
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Saw a guy doing Tai Chi at the park by himself and my dad thought he was retarded and felt really bad for him
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Jun 27, 2017 20:13
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saw a guy throw himself off the Tyne bridge (26 m from railing to river) on Sunday fortunately the fire and rescue boat people were doing a demonstration in the river at that exact moment so he just suffered severe spinal injuries instead of drowning
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Jun 27, 2017 20:21
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Smiled at a homeless guys dog one time, sort of glanced at the owner and noticed he was wanking, dunno when he started but I just gave him a polite nod and kept walking. Not my job to tell you what to do in the doorway of WHSmith bro.
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Jun 27, 2017 20:26
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While in China, I saw a lot of people pooping and peeing in very public and high traffic locations, sometimes within feet of a public restroom. One guy was even pooping right in front of a police officer, who just stood there looking at the wall behind the guy. My friend had a pet snake that ate live rats. One rat, it didn't seem to want to eat, so he took it out of the cage. Then it gave birth shortly after, so apparently it was pregnant. He kept the rat and all its babies in a small aquarium. I was sleeping in the same room as them, and iirc I heard one scream and got up to investigate. It was killing it's children. I wanted to get her out and away from them, but was too afraid of getting bitten. She ended up biting one in the neck. I tried to get it out to save it, but it bled to death in my hands. We managed to saved all the rest though and fed her to the snake. I took one of the babies as a pet, and it turned out to be a very friendly rat. ...now I'm sad again.
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Jun 27, 2017 20:34
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Heard a gunshot and looked out my office window to see two guys picking up the victim and trying to dump him in a commercial trash container. For some reason then they realized they were next to a four story office building and probably 50 plus people were looking at them. Working in a office building right next to a motel that makes motel 6 look like the Ritz is both good and bad.
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Jun 27, 2017 20:40
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One time as a kid in Dayton OH we were driving home when we passed a gas station with a car parked on the edge of the lot near the road and it had thick rubbery black smoke just pouring out of all four windows with the occasional orange flame curling out from beneath the roof. People were getting gas and carrying on like usual, no fire trucks nearby, nobody even acknowledging the car on fire by the side of the road. The car I was in drove on when the light changed and I had/still have no clue what to think.
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Jun 27, 2017 20:43
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Probably not as interesting as the death stories ITT, but: I stayed in a capsule hotel in Japan. The whole place was men-only because while one floor was designated as the bath floor, naked men roamed about as they pleased everywhere. Apparently this rule of no women did not apply to the staff, so there were some women working there. I saw this guy standing there with his towel wrapped around his shoulders rather than his waist while standing dick level in front of this lady at a desk talking on the phone. The guy's penis was like inches from her face, but she just kept on carrying on her phone call. Very professional. Just a few days ago, I decided to check out the FKK (nudist) beach around here. I saw a guy with a least 7 massive piercings on his penis and balls. Also saw a lot of horrific visages of vaguely human forms. It's one thing to not know if someone is male or female. But to see them naked and still not know is impressive. Edit: Oh, now I remember the story I wanted to post: I was bored sitting in a car at a light when I see a kid "walking" his dog by making it pull him on a skateboard. I started chanting in my head, "Fall! Fall! Fall!" and sure enough, he goes to cross the road, goes down the curb just fine, but when he hits the curb to go up onto the sidewalk, he immediately trips and faceplants. Just in time when the light turns green and we drive off. Shadow0 fucked around with this message at 12:47 on Jun 28, 2017 |
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Jun 27, 2017 20:50
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I went to a music festival earlier this year and watched a guy eat some fruit he had taken a piss on. It was some chad-wook who was clearly out of his gourd on some sort of vile substance and we were at a Werks concert. I was standing about 30 feet from the stage with a large clearing in front of me. Chadwook, who was behind me, decides he wants to cut a rug in that clearing and brushes past me. As he did so, he hit my shoulder, causing him to drop a cup full of fruit that he was carrying and it fell on the ground. He starts dancing around and being obnoxious. Eventually, for whatever reason, he decided to pull out his dilz and start pissing everywhere, including his fruit. Just pissing in the wind, swaying back and forth, with his hands raised triumphantly in the air. After he was finished, he put his god drat cock away and proceeded to dance around for a minute. This must have taken alot of energy out of him because the next thing he did was pick up a piece of his freshly pissed-on fruit and examine it for a second. That second seemed like an eternity, there was a crowd of people watching him at this point and we all shouted, in unison, "NOOOOO!!!!" but it didn't deter the chadwook for one bit. He proudly tosses the fruit into his mouth and continues his dancing, to the audible groan of the crowd. I didn't stick around much longer because I was simultaneously laughing too hard and trying not to throw up. Wherever you are Chadwook, goonspeed. 
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Jun 27, 2017 20:51
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 22:51 |
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Last Summer in San Diego I saw a dude on a motorcycle t-bone a car that pulled out in front of him and go flying over the car. A 250+ lb drag queen came to his rescue and directed traffic until the authorities arrived.
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Jun 27, 2017 21:03
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