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Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
I was in a tornado that took the top 2/3 of our house off, killed 49 people I think in our town total. I was like 7 and still remember it.

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Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Vespertillian posted:

I was about 13 walking down a small downtown street and suddenly I hear this sickening crunch and see a young brunette woman fly backwards 3-4 feet from being hit by a green jeep.
There's another almost crunchlike thudding sound as she hits the ground.
There was this apprehensive two second pause where the world went entirely silent and it seemed to last years and then she started screaming over and over again that she was okay, as if trying to reassure herself.

She went quiet before the ambulance got there.

Whoa

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Shats Basoon posted:

I went to a music festival earlier this year and watched a guy eat some fruit he had taken a piss on.

It was some chad-wook who was clearly out of his gourd on some sort of vile substance and we were at a Werks concert. I was standing about 30 feet from the stage with a large clearing in front of me. Chadwook, who was behind me, decides he wants to cut a rug in that clearing and brushes past me. As he did so, he hit my shoulder, causing him to drop a cup full of fruit that he was carrying and it fell on the ground. He starts dancing around and being obnoxious. Eventually, for whatever reason, he decided to pull out his dilz and start pissing everywhere, including his fruit. Just pissing in the wind, swaying back and forth, with his hands raised triumphantly in the air. After he was finished, he put his god drat cock away and proceeded to dance around for a minute. This must have taken alot of energy out of him because the next thing he did was pick up a piece of his freshly pissed-on fruit and examine it for a second. That second seemed like an eternity, there was a crowd of people watching him at this point and we all shouted, in unison, "NOOOOO!!!!" but it didn't deter the chadwook for one bit. He proudly tosses the fruit into his mouth and continues his dancing, to the audible groan of the crowd.

I didn't stick around much longer because I was simultaneously laughing too hard and trying not to throw up. Wherever you are Chadwook, goonspeed.
:zpatriot:

What's a chad wook.?

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

I saw a bird fly into a windmill and die. Same with a window.

I'm really sad we can't see your posts for a while. I witnessed that too.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

DisgracelandUSA posted:

Shortly after I moved to NYC, I was riding the subway home after work. I got on at 34th Street-Penn Station. At the same time, a shorter trashy-looking white woman gets on the train, as well as an effiminate black man, next to the woman. Once the subway doors close, the woman says, loudly, on the crowded train, "I would APPRECIATE IT if you didn't BUMP ME!" The black man says, "I did not bump you." The woman replies, "Yes, you did, you bumped into my bag, and I appreciate it if you wouldn't do that." The man says, "I don't know what you're thinking, but I didn't bump you, maybe you bumped me." And she says, "I didn't bump you, you bumped me" and steps closer to get in his face. The man, feeling a touch invaded, gently shoves her away and says, "Please get out of my face." The woman loses it, starts screaming, "Oh my god, did you just lay a hand on me? Oh I wish you would, you don't even know what I would do to you." And the man responds, "Oh really, what do you want to do?" and the woman says, "Oh, I'll show you what I'll do, you wanna take this out on the platform?" and the man says, "Yeah, we can take this on the platform you crazy bitch" and the woman says, "Okay, we're gonna get this on the platform."

The train pulls into the 42nd Street-Times Square station, and I see the two of them fighting through crowds to get off the train. They reach the center of platform and I see both them drop their bags and square up as the doors of the train close and we start heading to the next station. All this transpired over the course of about 3 minutes.

She tazed him right?

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Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo

Martha Stewart Undying posted:

Saw a kid get shot in the head when I was 7 or 8. Brother and I were out by the open sewer pipes behind our apartment. We see this kid running towards us and then the top of his head kinda popped off and he crumpled to the ground. My little brother and I freaked out and hid in the sewers.

Later that night our grandma gave us no end of grief for tracking poo poo/mud into the apartment.

So many questions. Like why do you have an open sewer where you live? Is this India or something?

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