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  POST ABOUT MEMORABLE FARTS YOU HAVE PRODUCED/WITNESSED IN YOUR LIFETIME
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Jun 27, 2017 18:26
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 05:01 |
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MEMORABLE FART 1: One time when I was like 12 I farted inside a car and it was so forceful that my buttocks literally reverberated against each other. Caused pain to my buttocks. Again - this loving fart came out at such a high velocity that my buttocks were moving. It was insane .. Minimal smell though MEMORABLE FART 2: One time when I was like 14 I had eaten White Castle the previous day. Well the next day in French 2 I leaned and let out a decent-sized fart. Zero sound .. the ol "Silent but Deadly". Sure enough, it was a whopper. That classic white castle smell began to fill the air .. the steamed onions and everything. Here's the kicker -- the people around me began to sniff the air and murmur "Somebody eating White Castle?" Yep - got em!!! All I could say was: 
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Jun 27, 2017 18:27
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I was sitting on the edge of a theater stage which was raised above a crawlspace area underneath so people could emerge from beneath the stage or whatever, and ripped this massive fart that I thought was gonna be silent, because I leaned to the side a bit. Instead my left asscheek bounced against the stage like a roll on a snare drum, using the empty area underneath for acoustics. It was loud as hell and totally interrupted the person who was speaking at the time as everyone in the building turned to look at me. It was fuckin awesome
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Jun 27, 2017 18:46
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i farted for 15 seconds straight once but there are no witness other than my dogs and they aren't talking
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Jun 27, 2017 19:40
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I try to forget every fart. I am largely unsuccessful and inadvertently write about them in my diary and SA posts on a regular basis.
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Jun 27, 2017 19:52
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It lasted like 30 seconds, OP I got a standing ovation outside my stall after I was done
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Jun 27, 2017 20:06
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All of my farts are memorable for one reason or another.
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Jun 27, 2017 20:12
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Second grade. My teacher yelled at the class for a reason i can't remember. Everyone's heads are face down on their desks and room is dead silent. I can hold in this fart no longer and try to sneak it out but bottling it up for so long caused it to be the loudest, wettest fart I've ever had. Unexpected but I never felt more badass 
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Jun 27, 2017 20:33
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pull my finger! *shits pants*
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Jun 27, 2017 20:36
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I had a three hour flight and i was sitting in the 10th row and i held it in right up until leaving. Walked the whole 10 aisle trip out in one continous walk/fart, crop dusting people who were staying on and the sky waitresses It was a solid half a minute.
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Jun 27, 2017 21:17
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One time my dad and I went on a weeklong trip to Vegas, and on the second night I bought a bunch of beef jerky and Bacardi 151, and long story short we went home after only four days due to my farts.
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Jun 27, 2017 21:18
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Imagine wearing a "drat it feels good to fart" t-shirt while an EMT explains that your mother has sustained severe damage to her skull and ribcage
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Jun 27, 2017 21:38
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One time I was working the registers with my boss and I let out a fart so rancid it would peel the paint off a house. My boss got wind of it and thought a customer did a stop 'n drop. I never had the heart to tell her it was me all along.
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Jun 27, 2017 21:52
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in middle school i once silent farted in class and it smelled so bad that the teacher called the janitors to say she thought an animal had died in the ventilation. you could say i died in the ventilation a little bit that day.
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Jun 27, 2017 22:49
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I once farted out the beginning of the Smurf's theme i don't know how I did it and I've never been able to replicate it since
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Jun 27, 2017 22:50
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i once ate a bunch of fiber supplements (whatever they tasted good) and woke up in the night so painfully bloated that my ensuing farts each lasted a good ten seconds.
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Jun 27, 2017 22:52
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i had the tiniest little farts after a dose of chemotherapy that could even individually just absolutely saturate a room. and due to whatever exotic chemicals were in there it would actually give you a metallic taste in your mouth from smelling it anyway i was dropping those while walking around a family card game. got kicked out of the room. cancer or no cancer i was not welcome with those farts wish i knew which specific drug did that. 10/10 would recommend
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Jun 27, 2017 22:53
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gary oldmans diary posted:i had the tiniest little farts after a dose of chemotherapy that could even individually just absolutely saturate a room. and due to whatever exotic chemicals were in there it would actually give you a metallic taste in your mouth from smelling it Bring back LF
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Jun 27, 2017 22:57
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BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:MEMORABLE FART 1: One time when I was like 12 I farted inside a car and it was so forceful that my buttocks literally reverberated against each other. Caused pain to my buttocks. Again - this loving fart came out at such a high velocity that my buttocks were moving. It was insane .. Minimal smell though lmfao
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Jun 27, 2017 23:34
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BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:MEMORABLE FART 2: One time when I was like 14 I had eaten White Castle the previous day. Well the next day in French 2 I leaned and let out a decent-sized fart. Zero sound .. the ol "Silent but Deadly". Sure enough, it was a whopper. That classic white castle smell began to fill the air .. the steamed onions and everything. Here's the kicker -- the people around me began to sniff the air and murmur "Somebody eating White Castle?" Yep - got em!!! haha, the classic side-effect of white castle
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Jun 27, 2017 23:38
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The longest loudest fart of my life and no one was around to hear it. It sounded just like when you put the meaty parts of your palms together and blow into them, and it just kept going. I can tell people about it but it's just not the same. I'll die a broken and regretful man.
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Jun 27, 2017 23:47
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I know a guy that was eating egg whites, before or after working out He once farted and it was so nasty that one guy caught a good wiff and then threw up He said it smelled like burning garbage
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Jun 28, 2017 00:08
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Ron Darling posted:I once farted out the beginning of the Smurf's theme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk-5RVMerfI
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Jun 28, 2017 00:25
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEVJRI4mwpk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8omzJ2jCLXE
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Jun 28, 2017 00:32
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The look on his face tells me that's not the first time So proud Got this text from my friend once , he's early 40s with 2 kids. Was supposed to be picking them up from dance class 
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Jun 28, 2017 01:02
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I've always hated armpit farters, no need to stop now. I don't even care about those pecs, nope. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXESGdqUaAo
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Jun 28, 2017 01:09
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Sappo569 posted:The look on his face tells me that's not the first time he is going to teach them some new dance moves
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Jun 28, 2017 03:05
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One time I was riding an elevator with my foreman and ripped a SBD just as the doors opened for me to get off. Waiting to get one was just an absolutely gorgeous woman. He told me later the elevator was rank and she kept giving him a side eye look of disgust
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Jun 28, 2017 07:08
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I was like 15 and was on my way home from the mall with some friends and i sharted and it ran all the way down my left leg to my sock. E. Added sharted to myself phones dictionary
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Jun 28, 2017 07:14
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I was like 8 years old and my divorced dad was inviting his girlfriend over, he warned me "please don't gently caress this up by farting." Welp, we were watching a movie and I was relaxed, I think it was one of the Alien movies, eventually a jump scare happened and I dropped the printer I was carrying and let out a huge fart. I then crawled out of the room pretending to be a cat to hide my fart boner. I don't recall seeing that girlfriend ever again
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Jun 28, 2017 07:22
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a bone to pick posted:pretending to be a cat to hide my fart boner. What does this even mean Why am I in this thread
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Jun 28, 2017 07:25
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Sometimes I clench my cheeks too hard in a futile attempt to hold it in at work, so instead the fart will exit the butthole, find itself blocked, and shoot straight up my vagina instead. Since it's fairly difficult to fart air out of one's vag on command, particularly in an office setting, I have to awkwardly rock back and forth in my seat until it finally works it's way out. I'd like to say this is a rare occurrence, but really it's like a weekly thing.
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Jun 28, 2017 08:21
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Beach resort at Kenting National Park, Taiwan, 2014 I'm with a chick and it's after a romantic night including jacuzzi, champagne, and overpriced mojitos. We are just relaxing on the couch killing time before check-out. I start to feel that all-too-familiar stress against on my sphincter, the air pressure in my upper rectum. So I lift up both legs (I was laying on my back) and say, 这将是坏的, "this is gonna be bad one." We are quite comfortable together but I have no idea how Taiwanese culture treats flatulence. It doesn't matter, I'm focused only on evacuating this gas. Instead sharted, violently and very audibly, right next to her. We only have a few minutes before breakfast so I have to quickly hose down my poo poo-laden underwear and change before we go.
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Jun 28, 2017 09:26
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hey man at least it wasn't in the jacuzzi
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Jun 28, 2017 09:35
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Jun 28, 2017 12:41
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I keep hitting my friends with the "woah did you hear that?""no?...""*fart*" and it's always a winner The last one was like a perfect Ren & Stimpy sound effect fart
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Jun 28, 2017 13:01
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Mozi posted:i farted for 15 seconds straight once but there are no witness other than my dogs and they aren't talking "Roll that beautiful bean footage"
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Jun 28, 2017 14:31
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When I was younger, my family and I were in church I ripped a particularly loud one. The church we went to was a mid sized catholic church and the fart rumbled out right in the middle of the most important part of the mass when everyone is silent. At the time my sister was sitting separately from us with the children's choir which was on the opposite side of the church. After the service concluded we went to pick her up and my dad told her about the fart. Her response was "THAT WAS YOU! I thought it was *some fat kid in the choir who's name I don't remember*!" So I know for sure that pretty much the entire church heard it.
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Jun 28, 2017 18:10
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I was at church with my family, and I had one building up. Halfway through the service I couldn't hold it in anymore and let rip. It echoed around the entire room and the preist stopped talking. Everyone looked at my dad - it was so huge they thought it was him. We never went to church after that.
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Jun 28, 2017 18:19
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 05:01 |
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I was at church and in the middle of the sermon I stopped and coughed to hide my fart, but my timing was off and instead of coughing and farting at the same time I coughed and then loudly farted. Everyone in the church was looking at me and around awkwardly but after a moment I continued the sermon.
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Jun 28, 2017 18:26
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