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and you knew all the mens dicksizes? How fun could any other job be when you can make cheeky comments about vienna sausages and gently caress with local elected officials. Why isn't there a cheesy b-movie starring rob schneider with this plot already existing?
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Jun 28, 2017 00:13
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Yeah but what if some dude has a huge dong and you gotta look him in the eye in the grocery store before looking away, having been cucked mentally
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Jun 28, 2017 00:15
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you can write youself a prescription for that. some drugs make things look smaller hth.
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Jun 28, 2017 00:16
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afeelgoodpoop posted:you can write youself a prescription for that. some drugs make things look smaller hth. Just get in touch with the town optometrist and have him write prescriptions so that everyone in town gets lenses to do this
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Jun 28, 2017 00:20
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I would be a consummate professional and not concern myself with such juvenile things op
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Jun 28, 2017 00:23
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moose face posted:I would be a consummate professional and not concern myself with such juvenile things op are you a queer or something? (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jun 28, 2017 00:28
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I'd also be the town surgeon and inform the guy with the biggest dick that he'd need an emergency transplant and we'd trade dicks that night.
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Jun 28, 2017 00:30
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afeelgoodpoop posted:are you a queer or something? Naw man love me that good pussy
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Jun 28, 2017 00:35
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Whenever my plain, gossipy wife makes a comment about some local dude's car or house I'd smirk and tell her what's up
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Jun 28, 2017 00:42
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mind the walrus posted:Whenever my plain, gossipy wife makes a comment about some local dude's car or house I'd smirk and tell her what's up "Oh, that car? It belongs to Two Inch Tommy."
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Jun 28, 2017 00:44
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moose face posted:Naw man love me that good pussy Is there bad pussy?
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Jun 28, 2017 00:49
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vyst posted:Is there bad pussy?  now you gon' done it, every goon is going to waddle in and talk about that rank goonnette love pussy and lena dunham
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Jun 28, 2017 00:51
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vyst posted:Is there bad pussy? oh my god yes hygiene is important
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Jun 28, 2017 00:51
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You're supposed to charge just a little bit more for your discretion.
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Jun 28, 2017 01:43
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One fun thing about working with elderly patients was that we put on condom catheters-- a rubber condom with a tube on the end that goes into a bag, you pee into the bag, helps a lot with incontinent dudes whose dicks are still intact--and because not all dicks are created equal, they came in 3 sizes. Despite the bags being color-coded, my female co-workers would still assess the patients as "Is this guy a small or a medium? Small, definitely small." I had to remind them that the dudes were visibly uncomfortable multiple times, because they (likely) don't see how many penises we do and aren't desensitized to the fact that size is mostly bullshit. For the record though no one I worked with ever gave a gently caress unless it was a micropenis or horsedick, and even then only because "hey you don't see that every day." One dude was 6'4" and his flaccid dick reached halfway down his thigh. Swear to god I could have used it to kill a small marine mammal. So yeah I wouldn't be on the lookout for small peeners. I'd be on the lookout for dudes so bloated and fat that their pubic pads literally swallowed their flaccid penis whole. That is a thing that happens with alarming frequency and is way more embarrassing. I am shocked more goons do know firsthand know about this phenomenon. That's my dick story hth
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Jun 28, 2017 01:54
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Opioids for everyone!
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Jun 28, 2017 01:54
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Nuclearmonkee posted:oh my god yes Not if you're down with that stank
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Jun 28, 2017 01:55
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mind the walrus posted:
Not as embarassing as you might think. Forcing medical professionals to dig deep into my sweaty rolls of fat to reach my rank penis is my fetish.
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Jun 28, 2017 02:02
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vyst posted:Is there bad pussy? Actually kind of yeah. I mean the worst I've had was OK
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Jun 28, 2017 02:31
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Mental Hospitality posted:Opioids for everyone! Must be a small town in Ohio. 
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Jun 28, 2017 02:32
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ScratchAndSniff posted:Not as embarassing as you might think. Forcing medical professionals to dig deep into my sweaty rolls of fat to reach my rank penis is my fetish.
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Jun 28, 2017 02:39
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they should remake 'dead ringers' to be about twin cock doctors instead, i do not know the professional name of a cock doctor 'dead gay ringers'
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Jun 28, 2017 02:42
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vyst posted:Is there bad pussy? There is some grade A bad pussy out there. The overlap for "women who have their poo poo together" and "women with bad pussy" is smaller than your dick BOOYAH didn't see that one coming didja?
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Jun 28, 2017 03:11
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Probably a lot of hypertension, diabetes type 2, high cholesterol. Poor folk diseases. Plus small dicks lol
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Jun 28, 2017 03:41
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Mental Hospitality posted:Opioids for everyone!
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Jun 28, 2017 04:33
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mind the walrus posted:So yeah I wouldn't be on the lookout for small peeners. I'd be on the lookout for dudes so bloated and fat that their pubic pads literally swallowed their flaccid penis whole. T is there a medical diagnosis code for penis swallowed by body fat (modifier ONION RINGS)
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Jun 28, 2017 04:40
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Yes. "You're loving fat you fat loving gently caress holy gently caress your penis is now a bellybutton and you need to disinfect your pubic area every time you piss you gross fat loving gently caress"
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Jun 28, 2017 04:47
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GUYS STOP posted:is there a medical diagnosis code for penis swallowed by body fat (modifier ONION RINGS) subvehicularpenilitis
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Jun 28, 2017 04:54
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moose face posted:Actually kind of yeah. I mean the worst I've had was OK Okay, since you walked right into it... did you kick it first?
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Jun 28, 2017 05:25
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Drunk Nerds posted:Okay, since you walked right into it... did you kick it first? No.i.maybe i bought it a drink
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Jun 28, 2017 06:08
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Drunk Nerds posted:Okay, since you walked right into it... did you kick it first? this doesn't even work as a bad joke watch some marx bros on youtube kid
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Jun 28, 2017 06:12
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I live in a small town and my local doctor has narcolepsy. Often times when I go to see him he dozes off during the examination and I have to shake him awake again. He also only drives a big motorcycle. One would think there would be an issue, but I'm not the doctor. 
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Jun 28, 2017 07:07
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Vakal posted:I live in a small town and my local doctor has narcolepsy. Often times when I go to see him he dozes off during the examination and I have to shake him awake again. Is your name Charlie Kelly?
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Jun 28, 2017 07:09
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mind the walrus posted:It was like trying to stand up a thimble by pushing on a waterbed ehehe
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Jun 28, 2017 07:13
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GUYS STOP posted:is there a medical diagnosis code for penis swallowed by body fat (modifier ONION RINGS) http://www.icd9data.com/2015/Volume1/740-759/752/752.65.htm Or if you live outside the U.S.: http://www.icd10data.com/ICD10CM/Codes/Q00-Q99/Q50-Q56/Q55-/Q55.64 (Did we ever actually upgrade?) Edit: quote:ICD-9-CM Coding Information ALso, while I'm here: http://www.icd10data.com/Search.aspx?search=orca
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Jun 28, 2017 07:36
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*flirts with all the small-wiener men's wives at whole foods* *women end up disappointed due to my small penis*
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Jun 28, 2017 07:42
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I would prescribe a loving ton of opiates and antibiotics
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Jun 28, 2017 07:50
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This happened to me. I was moving cross country to start my new job and got in to an accident, hitting someone's fence. Wound up stuck there for a while, but met a girl and fell in love, so I ended up staying. Life was going pretty good until the parkinsons.
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Jun 28, 2017 23:56
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Suck a nipple while she sleep
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Jun 30, 2017 21:47
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Instead of ruining the town with boring old opioids, it's Viagra for everyone here. Everybody walking around going about their day with a full rock hard rager going. If your erection doesn't last more than four hours, better give me a call, bitch. Time to crank up that dose again.
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Jun 30, 2017 22:59
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