- sebmojo
- Oct 23, 2010
-
Legit Cyberpunk
|
1. I did miss those! Thank you.
2. I was trying out a new writing style. Never wrote anything horror related before, but I just kinda imagined the whole thing narrated in Tom Waits choice and it worked for me.
3. He's not the devil. Not sure where you got that, to be honest. And the whole point of the briefcases is that failure is inevitable. No matter which choice he makes, it doesn't matter, because the game is rigged from the start. There is no fairness present, despite appearances - he is set up to fail from the beginning.
i like it, though it's flawed (stick to your tenses, you drop out of present a couple of times) and a little cliche. i had a little creep chill a couple of times, so mission accomplished.
I don't think the framing story works at all, though. Just tell us the freaky story, don't make it A STORY WITHIN A SOTRY
|
#
¿
Sep 10, 2017 11:44
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
¿
May 15, 2024 11:42
|
|
#
¿
Sep 10, 2017 11:44
