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With just over 3 weeks to go till the opening round of the Scottish Premier Football League season, and with The Rangers and St Johnstone and sons already chucking their passports in the bin, it's time to get to the nitty-gritty and look forward to a new season full of dodgy international trialists, inner city riots and a Celtic win assured by Christmas. Teams  Name: Aberdeen FC Fortress: Pittodrie Stadium (but not for much longer) Star Talisman:  Expectations: They'll want to push Celtic to the title, if they are still in with a shout at Easter it'll be impressive, more realistically they'll be in with a shout at Easter road. Former Celt Gary Mackay Stevens, Celtic cast off recently joined but he's lost his blonde locks and Samson like will be relegated to the occasional stunner against Partick Thistle.  Name: Celtic FC Fortress: Celtic Park, or is it Parkhead? gently caress it. Paradise Star Talisman:  Expectations: They'll win the league without much hassle. Every chance they'll do it without losing a game again. Hopefully they'll also do no bad in Europe as well so we don't look like a right bunch of bastards. Don't be surprised if Dembele and Sinclair are shipped off for big money at some point this season.  Name: Dundee FC Fortress: Dens Park, it's just down the road fae Tannadice don't you know, also not a long walk form Clerks bakers, purveyor of the fine "Helicopter Sandwich" basically a mixed breakfast roll on a bun. Also knew a guy on that street who sold Weed. Nice City. Star Talisman:  Expectations: Dundee narrowly avoided being in a relegation scrap last year, they've got a very fresh faced manager in Neil Mccann at the helm, he's sort of Scotlands equivalent of Gary Lineker, your granny probably likes him. They've just signed Scott Allan from Celtic a man so arrogant that he left Dundee United after half a dozen games because being their highest earning player wasn't good enough. Canadian Marcus Haber is certainly a goal threat and young Cammy Kerr potentially has a bright future in front of him. Fact is they binned one of my mates when he was 18 and James McPake still plays for them so they are scum to me.  Name: Hamilton Academical. Aye right, the most Academical thing about Hamilton is the Tesco self service. Fortress: New Douglas Park, Hamilton, South Lanarkshire (not Glasgow) Star Talisman:  Expectations: Don't get relegated. Keep Martin Canning off the brew. And for that matter off the pitch.  Name: Hearts of Midlothian FC Fortress: Tynecastle Stadium, Edinburgh. I've been once, it's really steep. Star Talisman:  Expectations: I suppose they'll want to finish above Hibernian. Star man Kyle Lafferty seems to think they will anyway, Ian Cathro is the youngest manager in the league and the knives could come out for him pretty soon if it's a poor start. Their opening game of the season is against Celtic, a game star man Kyle Lafferty think could be the basis for Hearts to end Celtics unbeaten streak. Bit of a cocky oval office this Lafferty boy eh?  Name: Hibernian FC Fortress: Easter Road, Edinburgh Star Talisman:  Expectations: Be better than Hearts? They are newly promoted from the Championship for the first time in their illustriou....no wait sorry wrong club. Hibs didn't cheat, they just got a bit poo poo for a while. In fact if you listen to the folks round these parts they've always been a bit poo poo. I don't really mind Hibs, about the most notable thing about them is their inclusion in the Trainspotting books and films and also the time St Johnstone pumped them 5-1. My boss at the time was a Hibs fan, glorious stuff. Kenny Deucher scored for us mate. Not a footballer but an actual Doctor. Shame on yous. Still, Sunshine on Leith eh. Fuckin brilliant.  Name: Kilmarnock FC, Kilmarnock (not Ayr) Fortress: Rugby Park. A loving loving name if ever there was one. Star Talisman:  Expectations: Killie arn't ever really a threatening club, most likely they'll finish 8th-10th with no real danger of success or failure. Old friend of mine used to get irritated if you said he was from Kilmarnock and claimed he was actually from Ayr. Says it all.  Name: Motherwell FC (maybe Glasgow) Fortress: Fir Park Star Talisman:  Expectations: Wait what? Lasleys gone? You boys are shagged.  Name: Partick Thistle (not Glasgow) Fortress: Firhill Stadium, Maryhill (not Glasgow) Star Talisman:  Expectations: Partick Thistle arn't the worst team in the league by a long shot, they managed top six last season, the first time since they won promotion to the top flight in 2013-2014. Could be the best of the rest once the top 4 are sorted. Side note: I've only ever met one Partick fan in real life and he put 3 teabags in his cup. Strange place.  Name: Rangers FC Fortress: Ibrox Stadium, Glasgow Star Talisman:  Expectations: Well they'll firstly want to avoid getting pumped by Celtic. Then we can expect another Kenny Miller contract extension. After that I've no idea.  Name: Ross County FC Fortress: Victoria Park, Dingwall, The Highlands Star Talisman:  Expectations: If theres one thing that makes glad I'm not a Scottish professional Football player its the thought of dragging my arse up the A9 3 times a year to Dingwall. Talk about a cold tuesday night in Stoke. Dire  Name: St Johnstone FC Fortress: McDiarmid Park, Perth. Fabulous Steak and Chorizo pies. Star Talisman:  Expectations: May 17th, just let me keep dreaming of the good times! We've lost Swanson to Hibs, our star striker Steven Mclean is 35 and has poo poo knees, we've already had our visas chucked oot by a bunch of Lithuanian cabbage pickers. The St Johnstone golden generation might just be coming to a close. Onwards and upwards lads, lets have the real season commence!
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Jul 15, 2017 00:08
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| # ? May 3, 2024 20:25 |
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Reserved
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Jul 15, 2017 00:10
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Wait so do you support Dundee Utd or St Johnstone? Anyway Aberdeen's hosed this season, unless we manage to pull off those signings floating about- Shaun Maloney and Louis Moult would be ace, what with Hayes and McGinn gone, and we desperately need some better quality at the back. I'm not optimistic because it's stewarty loving milne.
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Jul 15, 2017 01:19
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why even bother having anyone other than celtic in the op
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Jul 15, 2017 06:53
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Shite season ahead without the Caley Jags in the top flight.
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Jul 15, 2017 13:23
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not from the league, but lol anyway https://twitter.com/CelticGoals/status/885913034195161093
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Jul 15, 2017 14:15
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Kari Arnason's back!
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Jul 16, 2017 01:55
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curried lamb of God posted:not from the league, but lol anyway That's disgusting, you'd never see that in Scotland. There's still some buckie left in the bottle! Srsly tho is there any reason why the ref might have booked him for showing him the buckie bottle? Chas McGill posted:Kari Arnason's back! Legit super excited about this.
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Jul 16, 2017 14:45
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Coohoolin posted:That's disgusting, you'd never see that in Scotland. There's still some buckie left in the bottle! Time wasting allegedly? Kari is still a good player. I don't feel good about the guys we lost but overall I think the signings are solid. It will be so, so difficult to replace Hayes' game changing ability.
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Jul 16, 2017 19:42
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I'd like to congratulate Celtic on winning the 2017/2018 SPFL.
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Jul 16, 2017 20:16
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Reminder that according to Palermo's on again off again owner, Kyle Lafferty is too much of a womanizer to live in loving Sicily. Lafferty owns.
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Jul 19, 2017 00:25
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So the green brigade couldn't help themselves and made these banners for the linfield game Both of which are IRA references. Celtic will get clowned by UEFA again , and in attempt to stave off a stand closure they've banned the Green Brigade for two games. Current status of all celtic forums: 
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Jul 22, 2017 15:48
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I'm sure other football clubs have similar problems but gently caress me Celtic are supporterd by side right dim morons.
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Jul 22, 2017 17:05
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Macarius Wrench posted:supporterd by side right dim morons. 
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Jul 22, 2017 17:15
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nb don't phone post
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Jul 22, 2017 17:18
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One's the fella in glasses and a beret, what's the second IRA reference?
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Jul 22, 2017 20:45
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Coohoolin posted:One's the fella in glasses and a beret, what's the second IRA reference? The 'Rodgers at work' banner is apparently similar to 'Sniper at work' signs the IRA would put up.
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Jul 22, 2017 22:06
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jre posted:So the green brigade couldn't help themselves and made these banners for the linfield game Post some good stuff
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Jul 22, 2017 22:31
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 cathro and his laptop
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Aug 1, 2017 20:59
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He's already got a job at wolves. Was too soon for him to go into management imo
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Aug 1, 2017 21:31
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We’re gonna win the league  having Alves is a revelation, Dorrans looks a steal and Wes is poo poo at commanding space in his box from in swinging crosses to the back postLove watching people argue that an elbow to the head from a Motherwell player is not a foul and instead the penalty was because of a Masonic conspiracy as well.
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Aug 6, 2017 19:28
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Macarius Wrench posted:
What is this heresy, accusing the One True Glasgow Team of not actually being in Glasgow?
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Aug 7, 2017 00:44
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Any predictions!? I say this season is going to give us 4 pages.
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Aug 8, 2017 11:35
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Three pager max
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Aug 8, 2017 22:19
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duckmaster posted:Three pager max Nah, Dave King will do something hilarious again. The gb will be allowed back then do something embarrassing again. Hibs will be shite 5 pages
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Aug 8, 2017 22:36
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https://streamable.com/qla57 Kieran Tierney is good. Also: 6 pages.
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Aug 8, 2017 23:21
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Her Dryer posted:https://streamable.com/qla57 This was particularly enjoyable because the drunk head case in front of me, ( you know the one you always get at the early round games ) shouted shoot as soon as the ball came to him.
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Aug 8, 2017 23:36
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https://mobile.twitter.com/jayemc/status/896377058892316673/video/1 https://mobile.twitter.com/_/status/896392071992549377 jre fucked around with this message at 17:36 on Aug 12, 2017 |
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Aug 12, 2017 17:30
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Hibs are shite, Hibs are better than Rangers*. Rangers* are less than shite.
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Aug 12, 2017 21:38
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Aug 12, 2017 23:05
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HE IS RISEN
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Aug 13, 2017 04:39
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No refereeing controversy worth discussing in that game at all https://twitter.com/scottbeadie123/status/896452959273455616
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Aug 13, 2017 15:54
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Nice to see Jack thriving in this new vastly superior club of his.
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Aug 13, 2017 15:57
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Coohoolin posted:Nice to see Jack thriving in this new vastly superior club of his. Nice to see you being realistic
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Aug 13, 2017 16:04
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loving the meltdown e: So in love with Shay Logan btw
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Aug 13, 2017 16:19
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Total Meatlove posted:No refereeing controversy worth discussing in that game at all I signed your petition op https://www.change.org/p/scottish-f...tter_responsive
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Aug 13, 2017 17:56
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jre posted:I signed your petition op It’s good that all the lads in the ‘Scottish football is poo poo and all the refs are bent’ thread are together
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Aug 13, 2017 19:09
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Petition's worthless without an accompanying statement from Club1872, imo.
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Aug 13, 2017 23:24
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Interesting you didn't post Jack's cheeky wee headbutt as well?
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Aug 13, 2017 23:56
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Chas McGill posted:Interesting you didn't post Jack's cheeky wee headbutt as well? "Headbutt" lol.
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Aug 14, 2017 00:04
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