The Restaurant Industry Thread: it blows, I'm not happy, and I'm not making any money

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > The Restaurant Industry Thread: it blows, I'm not happy, and I'm not making any money

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Samizdata: May 14, 2007

pentyne posted:

Also if it's the 7th consecutive workday in the pay week even if it's less then 40/wk for some bizarre reason.

Hell, in Illinois, under the One Day Rest In Seven Act, you can't even schedule 7 days straight without being actionable. We used to have to boot people during optional overtime when I worked in scheduling.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2017 09:16

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 15:44

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

gegi posted:

I get people writing me out of the blue and begging to be allowed to do unpaid internships. I think some of them are doing it as a university homework assignment. I should really write up a canned response involving labor law and having some damned self-respect.

I would be nicer about it than that. Just say something like "We appreciate your interest and selection of [restaurant name], but, in the current legal climate, we are unable...". No reason to disillusion them about a career in the industry TOO soon, right?

# ¿ Jul 30, 2017 02:09

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

yoober posted:

pay people who do labor for you it isn't hard

If that was true, no business would ever go under.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2017 21:10

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Trebuchet King posted:

if paying people an appropriate wage causes a business to go under then it probably doesn't deserve to stay afloat, hth.

"everybody else is doing it" is a lovely excuse that didn't fly in elementary school and if you're using it as an adult you should go back there.

I was rather arguing the reductio ad absurdum nature of the quoted post. I think people should be paid for labor.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2017 21:39

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Errant Gin Monks posted:

Well good thing too, you could have been there and gotten a D

He should have found out if the inspector was down.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2017 04:04

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Skwirl posted:

The only thing more slam dunk would be if CdC was actually Tim Meadows and he got fired for "being a darkie."

Naaaaaah, he said tequila, not Hennessy.

# ¿ Aug 7, 2017 18:14

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Canuck-Errant posted:

In hindsight, opening a farm-to-table gastropub on that old indian burial ground was a bad idea

Wouldn't have been so bad had he connected to the city sewer instead of septic and resist using stuff from the gig for wacky mascot characters.

Also, the Big Chief Sourtoe didn't help either.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2017 06:36

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Canuck-Errant posted:

I mean, the wacky mascot costumes were one thing, but combining animatronics and human taxidermy just smacked of poor decisionmaking

Yeah, I heard about this pizza place where it all went to poo poo because of that. Also hear they can't keep security staff.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2017 10:28

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Errant Gin Monks posted:

I always season before bagging.

I won't get home until the 16 hour mark but I will pull it then . Thanks.

According to what I have read, you generally want to avoid garlic during the puddling phase. It can end up tasting funky.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2017 17:39

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Errant Gin Monks posted:

Yeah garlic goes on during the seat at the end. I do salt and whole herbs during the puddle.

I should have known better from your posts, but I do what I can to help.

# ¿ Aug 9, 2017 19:50

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Errant Gin Monks posted:

Came out a liiiiiiittle bit too soft at 18 hours but I got home late so gently caress it.

Tasted delicious though.

Bet you're glad I don't live in your neighborhood...

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 06:21

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Errant Gin Monks posted:

It made a really good sandwich

Hey, Shooting Blanks, I say we take a road trip to Monks' house, and you, well, not shoot blanks. And we have amazing sandwiches.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2017 21:05

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Sandwich Anarchist posted:

Goonmeet for Gooncooks?

Free leftover SV prime rib sarnies? If I wasn't a poor, I would be down.

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 03:40

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Errant Gin Monks posted:

You two make it out to SoCal you can have a sandwich.

Ex SoCal boy here, anyway.

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 06:00

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

SHUPS 4 DETH posted:

had the same exp but at the door of a dispensary during my trip to portland last year

so glad some of them were chill and realized someone prob wasn't going to pretend to be 36 and from nebraska

also lol that i made it through TSA like 4x no problem

----

oh and uh we're super busy every night rn and life is pain. namaste y'all

At least you have a medical dope card. My WA buddy with one says the poo poo he gets is AMAYzing!

# ¿ Aug 11, 2017 09:08

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Skwirl posted:

Assuming WA means the state of Washington, you don't need a card.

He never really covered that with me. Just that he had gotten the script and was using a dispensary. Guess I just assumed he needed a card (Like in my state). I can't get one anyway, as the place I work gets a slice of federal funding, so, although it is legal in my state, I fail a random even WITH a script, I am job hunting again.

Happy for him though, he used to have such paralyzing anxiety and agoraphobia issues, he would get twitchy in MMOs.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2017 10:44

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Chef De Cuisinart posted:

Lol, I am up to 4 sous, 3 exec sous, and 1 exec chef offer, all within a week.

Man, I've been selling myself short these past few years.

Time to bust out the Henessy, no? Grats, bud!

# ¿ Aug 12, 2017 10:45

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Skwirl posted:

It's legal for anyone over the age of 21 to buy marijuana in Washington state, no card required beyond ID proving your age. If you're in Seattle there's a poo poo ton of stores too, not sure what the availability is like outside the city though,

Well, that is disturbingly commonsense. Although, in my case, if I DID get a script, I don't even know where to buy it over the counter. There's no legit dispensaries I know of anywhere close. The nearest is 45 minutes away one way. State thing. Apparently hideously understaffed and understocked AND a lovely selection of options from what I read.

# ¿ Aug 12, 2017 22:05

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

mindphlux posted:

just offer to wash dishes for a while man

Dunno. It's not cheap to change your name to Enrique.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2017 18:00

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Tezcatlipoca posted:

This goes well with the thread's earlier repudiation of picking fruit as only something immigrants do.

It's more a side effect of thread hopping. In another thread, the Enrique thing is used to mock rich people. As in "I don't turn the shower on. I have Enrique to do it." and such.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2017 18:55

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

bloody ghost titty posted:

Good thing you don't have to be mindful of context on the internet, huh? Let's denigrate migrant labor (ironically)!

Okay, I hereby declare I was wrong and that was wrong. I am sorry.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2017 19:30

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Liquid Communism posted:

This is your one warning on this. Next time you're taking some time off to reconsider.

The industry has enough problems with casual racism without it being in here as well, whether you think you have an ironic shitposting context for it or not.

Understood. I did apologize above once I realized I went down the wrong path.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2017 05:18

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Chef De Cuisinart posted:

Thought about picking up a part time cook job somewhere, but the money isn't a worry, I've already got a trip planned to go to Denver Sept 11-15, and I can use the rest of the time to work out and get back in shape since I've basically banned from any and all physical activity by my doctor til today.

Even then, I can't lift more than 10lbs in my right hand, and he doesn't want to see me working with my hands for at least another 8 weeks, so it all works out I guess. Last thing I want is for this thing to heal crooked and look like loving Quasimodo.

That sort of injury downright terrifies me. I think of all the things I use my hands for, and to get told basically "None of those"... Wow. :shudder:

Heal fast, dude!

# ¿ Aug 17, 2017 05:20

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

mindphlux posted:

hey

hey

gently caress you

Hey, hey, read the thread. If you can't bother to do that before commenting, maybe you should try editing later after you get caught up?

I even apologized already and admitted I was wrong. Some users jumped me, I apologized, then a mod jumped me. So, please try to keep up with your comedy forums threads.

EDIT: Used some language I shouldn't.

Samizdata fucked around with this message at 12:12 on Aug 17, 2017

# ¿ Aug 17, 2017 10:56

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Chef De Cuisinart posted:

poo poo, and here I am about to open a 1000 room resort hotel.

The anxiety meds I started taking a few months ago have really helped curb my drinking, haven't even felt the need in over a month now.

Honestly, half the people in this industry should probably be taking Lexapro and/or Cloneazepan.

Rock on. It is amazing what the right meds can do for people. I have a buddy that was so agoraphobic he had issues playing MMOs. The right meds? Bam, running his daughters around on errands and everything.

Glad to see it's going better.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2017 17:53

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

This is amazing. Please keep it up!

# ¿ Sep 4, 2017 23:51

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Errant Gin Monks posted:

What if I threesomed a manager and a hostess while a server filmed it and a cook acted as my stunt cock?

Then, you know, YOU didn't threesome them, the stunt cock did, and you are in the clear. Said stunt cock, OTOH...

# ¿ Sep 5, 2017 11:54

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

JawKnee posted:

gently caress 3rd party delivery services, and the ~~restaurants~~ owners that enable

Also since the 3rd party services (especially Postmates) are giant Uber-like assholes that underpay and overwork drivers.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2017 07:48

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Republicans posted:

One of my co-workers was gushing the other day about how UberEats delivers Shari's so she can get pie whenever she wants for just a $5 delivery fee. All i could think was "How much of that is the driver getting?"

Here's a little bit more on the topic for you.
http://splinternews.com/meet-the-lawyer-taking-on-uber-and-the-rest-of-the-on-d-1793847165

# ¿ Sep 11, 2017 09:29

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Same with chicken fingers, because, see, this is a Jiffy Lube.

# ¿ Sep 15, 2017 04:15

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Mezzanon posted:

Good news in the world of my work! We just cut the rest of the serving staff, and half the kitchen because it's pretty dead. Then the phone rings and one of the dishwashers takes a reservation for 9:45pm (we close at 11 pm) for 20 people.

"They said they'd be out by 11:00!"

Here we go!

Such a pity they slipped 36 times in the dishpit unto the inexplicably upright (largest) chef's knife on hand. Goodbye kidneys!

# ¿ Sep 21, 2017 06:43

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Mezzanon posted:

poo poo show report:

First 3 of 20 people show up at 9:45. I remind them we close at 11:00 pm.

9:55pm: still just 3 people. I ask what the occasion is and I am told one of the group is going to Australia. I ask if they are planning on putting everything on one bill, or if they are planning on separate bills. Answer "I dunno"

10:05pm 5 out of 20 people are here. Nobody is ready to order.

10:15pm: 11 people are here, they would like to wait for the whole group to order. I am told probably separate bills. I ask people to stay in the seats they are in so I can keep track of bills.

10:20 all 20 people are here. Beverages are ordered. I mention that we close at 11:00

10:25: everybody plays a quick game of musical chairs despite me specifically asking that they not.

10:30 food is ordered. 23 items for 20 people split into 17 bills. The kitchen, fuelled by rage makes this food so fast I am literally astonished.

11:15: I mention that we close at 11:00

11:45: people start paying, and the bills are an even split of people tipping a dollar and saying "you didn't seem like you were happy to serve us" and tipping 65% and saying "we are so sorry if we had known you closed at 11 we wouldn't have let our friend make the reso"

Midnight: I finish payments, bussing, and get cashed out.

Disappointingly, we discover the dishwasher remains tragically unshanked.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2017 12:34

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Willie Tomg posted:

After a few short weeks at the new job I've gone from people whispering in corners as I walked past for whatever reason, to being the go-to guy and clutch executor on the line. In a few weeks I've gone from "oh... you're CdCs friend huh?" to "BIG PAPI WILLIE" in audible capitals. This, uhhh... Well it woulda been hard to see five years ago, let's just say that.

It turns out rather than being a seething ball of anger at The Daily Cavalcade Of poo poo What Ain't Been Done, I handle stress really well even--perhaps especially!--when the exec is breathing down my neck and am unusually nice and forgiving for culinary standards.

My superpowers are doing at least two things at once and asking what else needs to be done and not whinging about it because I'm paid hourly, and also asking questions when I don't know how to do something.

I still want some IT certs so I can gracefully gently caress on out if they get cute about making me a lifer line dog come the new year instead of a bump to Chef and it's 50k price tag, but for once my conflicting emotions are a conflict of multiple positive emotions. By the standards of my dumbass lifetime, that's a pretty drat good way to be.

Congrats and all best wishes towards not needing the IR certs.

# ¿ Sep 22, 2017 08:09

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Mezzanon posted:

Had to tell off a co-worker today. They said that I was lying when I told them I couldn't cover a shift because I was going to be at a funeral.

Luckily the owner overheard the exchange and also tore a strip off said co-worker

You showed them your weakness when you left the dishwasher alive. :shrug:

# ¿ Sep 22, 2017 08:10

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Mezzanon posted:

This is true. Guess I have to murder the next server I train.

Well, more sacrifice to the great Kitchen Old Ones, but tomayto tomahto.

(As long as it is sundried, amirite?)

Samizdata fucked around with this message at 08:41 on Sep 22, 2017

# ¿ Sep 22, 2017 08:27

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Republicans posted:

So my boss asked one of the servers to type up some names/descriptions for our new specials. She handed this to me and asked me what I thought about it.

All I could manage to say was "It's fine and I hate it so much." Something about bacon and cheddar infused meatloaf broke my brain and I couldn't look at it without laughing hysterically. Like I was laughing so hard it just came out as a barely audible wheeze.

Would on all of them, FWIW. Not at once, mind you.

# ¿ Oct 6, 2017 10:17

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Bussamove posted:

Sweet, sudden all store meeting tomorrow we all just found out about today. Those are always fun.

Pray for Buss.

I will, but I feel the need to remind you not to gnaw any parts of yourself off to escape.

For a plethora of reasons.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2017 07:03

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

PurplPenisEata posted:

But it is very important to me that others enjoy things in exactly the way I do. If they do not enjoy a thing exactly as I enjoy a thing they are exactly wrong.

But I do not enjoy the way you post!

(I keed, I keed!)

# ¿ Oct 21, 2017 19:29

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

iospace posted:

Please share.

The briskets, I mean. You can keep the ovens.

Seconded.

# ¿ Nov 8, 2017 18:25

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 15:44

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Mezzanon posted:

Thread I did it. I told the restaurant I was cutting my hours down to 3 shifts a week. So now instead of working 11 shifts a week across my two jobs I'm down to 8.

Holy poo poo I feel incredible, here's a list of things I have had time for during the last month:

- my hobbies
- cooking
- eating vegetables
- restful sleep
- sex with my girlfriend
- time with friends
- the gym
- road trips
- time with family
- time to pet my cats

Don't overwork yourself, I was insanely close to hitting the wall and burning out, I cannot believe how much better I feel about life (even if I sometimes miss the extra cash money)

Grats! Now you can smile like that FOR REAL.

# ¿ Nov 10, 2017 20:48

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Goons with Spoons > The Restaurant Industry Thread: it blows, I'm not happy, and I'm not making any money

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