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You win the lottery, or you cash out a business, or a long-lost uncle dies. Suddenly you're the proud owner of a billion dollars, in cash, free and clear after taxes. What do you do?       https://twitter.com/notch/status/887125928924647425 Change the world to suit your needs
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Jul 18, 2017 14:28
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 10:16 |
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Give my friends and family enough cash that they don't have to work ever again with the explicit instructions that if they ask for more, I'm gonna sever. Then three months in the Bahamas with no connection to the outside world.
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Jul 18, 2017 14:31
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El Groucho easily claims third First order of business: An initiative in my city to buy e-bikes for every goddamn citizen, because we are never ever ever going to get any public transportation worth half a goddamn
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Jul 18, 2017 14:32
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Go to the strip club
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Jul 18, 2017 14:32
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Iron Crowned posted:Go to the strip club Enough lap dances to wear you down to bone shards Sounds like a good horror story
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Jul 18, 2017 14:33
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Make a really good, public botanical greenhouse/garden. With a tea house in it. And a library in a dry room.
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Jul 18, 2017 14:41
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Buy a BBQ Bacon King burger from Burger King for every single American citizen, only $2.99 at your participating restaurant for a limited time.
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Jul 18, 2017 14:51
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One billion megabucks tickets With those kinds of numbers I can't lose!
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Jul 18, 2017 14:58
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I would build a house somewhere really remote, but close enough to society that I could reach it if I needed to. I would put most of the money in the bank, a couple million in cash in a safe, and build a huge greenhouse filled with dank weed. And a cool dog or two.
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Jul 18, 2017 15:04
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I have some people in my family that are actually like family and then others who I kinda hate. So it would be very satisfying to go around publicly showering the ones I like with millions while the others get zip. Only big ticket thing I'd spend any real money on is a really nice movie theatre in my house. I can't really think of anything else I'd want aside from never having to worry about working or bills ever again.
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Jul 18, 2017 15:04
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Sensible answer: put it in the bank. Fanciful answer: fund time travel research.
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Jul 18, 2017 15:06
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Invest some so I'm getting enough to live comfortably on interest Buy a penthouse in Stockholm Fly my dog over to Sweden without having to dump him into checked luggage Spend the rest funding scientific research/paying taxes lol
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Jul 18, 2017 15:08
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Wheat Loaf posted:Sensible answer: put it in the bank. If your time travel research worked you wouldn't need to fund it.
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Jul 18, 2017 15:13
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I meant this as a joke but it actually might be helpful for me. I have a real hard time setting long-term goals or wanting things. So this might actually be a good exercise. I really think my first order of business would be to put away only as much as I need to live comfortably for the rest of my life, either in the bank or invested somewhere safe where it can if not grow at the rate it's depleted, at least slow down the depletion noticeably. I want to live somewhere fun, like Manhattan or London or something, where I can try every restaurant once and see everything there is to see in the world. And then all the rest I'd want to give away. Family, comfortable lives, college for the nieces, plenty to get them where they need to be. They're not moochers, they'll take it as a boost and capitalize on it. Friends, or those I consider the family of my adult life. One-time gifts that will get them out of whatever poo poo they might be in, enough to change the course of their lives in some way. Doesn't take much. Small business angel investments for those friends I know who are struggling to get their companies out of ground effects. Again, doesn't take much, and it can change lives drastically. And the vast bulk of the rest I'd distribute over time to a variety of charities and causes. Not all at once, not all in one place, but treating them all like investments where I can maximize the impact. I'm not going to have a personal legacy outside whatever I consciously do with it, so I'd better make it count
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Jul 18, 2017 15:20
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Pussy Doodles! posted:I would build a house somewhere really remote, but close enough to society that I could reach it if I needed to. I would put most of the money in the bank, a couple million in cash in a safe, and build a huge greenhouse filled with dank weed. And a cool dog or two. I feel like this is one of the set ups of a Scooby Doo movie or something.
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Jul 18, 2017 15:21
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Besides setting up family and close friends for a carefree life... Set up a foundation for the homeless. Build/buy a shelter/chain of shelters, where those who want to can get all the support they need to get back into a job and a steady life and those who don't want to or can't will have a roof over their head, a shower and three meals a day. For me, a nice countryside home with a bigass yard for the three dogs I'll get.
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Jul 18, 2017 15:29
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I would work for free on the proviso that someone else is also employed in the position i would otherwise have taken.
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Jul 18, 2017 15:39
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Travel around the world on a yacht like the Rothschild's and manipulate 3rd world economies for personal gain.
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Jul 18, 2017 15:44
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Set up grants for my friend's children that pay out when they're 25 but only if they meet ridiculous conditions like "take public transit for 720 days between the ages of 18 and 24".
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Jul 18, 2017 15:59
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1) The bulk of the funds would probably go towards buying up as much open space and farmland in my region and establishing a land trust. Part of this would include a annual grant program and donations to existing conservation organizations. 2) Already mentioned: standardized gifts to friends and family on the expectation that folks don't come begging for more.* 3) Establish some kind of business to keep myself busy. Either going full nerd into game development, or something more production oriented like craft distilling or coffee roasting. 4) Dream house on a portion of property I already have picked out, but could never afford, overlooking the Delaware Water Gap. *EDIT I'm reasonablly certain my family wouldn't totally implode since we already have a cousin who is a multi-millionaire from inventing some kind of high frequency trading software. Nobody has ever begged or gotten jealous for a decade now. LogisticEarth has a new favorite as of 16:22 on Jul 18, 2017 |
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Jul 18, 2017 16:19
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I would buy an island off the coast of BC - this one, in fact: https://www.privateislandsonline.com/canada/britishcolumbia/whitestone-island And it would have a nice house on it, and a big theatre system, and a great big office full of books. I would build a sweet computer system and play games most of the time, and hang out with my dog and wife. I'd have a boat to get to the mainland for nights out and groceries and such, and a couple nice cars on the mainland too - nothing too fancy like a Bugatti, but a nice Mercedes or something. Nothing ostentatious. I'd put half the money in the bank/investments for the 'never worry again' peace of mind, having passive income without worry. The other half would go towards the island, house, toys, etc. But that's barely $15-20m realistically. My friends and family would be taken care of for sure, call that another $50-100m in gifts and trusts and such. Another $100-200m would go towards charities, especially animal welfare stuff. I'd fund the hell out of the SPCA, the dog and cat rescues, farm rescues, etc. Anonymous donations of tons of cat litter, dry food, toys, beds, and cash. I've always wanted to own a bakery and a brewery. "Dan's Beers and Breads" - I would work there when I felt like baking, but otherwise find someone passionate about those things and make their dream a reality. I like the idea of the bolt from the blue charity. Not go out looking for people in bad situations, or advertise it, but just randomly make people's day with $10,000 tips or paying for coffee for everyone at a Tim's for a week or something. Just little things to make people happy for a bit. And contrary to above I would put $50m into a slush fund earmarked for loving with people. lovely people that I don't like, jerks, assholes, etc. Petty things too, like you cut someone off in traffic, I'm going to find a way to crush your car into a cube. Throwing cigarette butts on the ground, I'm filling your yard with fresh cow poo poo. That sort of thing. And I would never want for weed or rum ever again.
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Jul 18, 2017 16:23
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I would give everyone in america who makes less than 900000 dollars a year, 1 million dollars. It'd be a fun few days watching the stock market, and the economy. edit : also, i'd still have money left over. So I don't know, buy an island or something. edit 2: misread as trillion, still though, would be funny. It's too early. Lime Tonics has a new favorite as of 16:30 on Jul 18, 2017 |
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Jul 18, 2017 16:27
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Lime Tonics posted:I would give everyone in america who makes less than 900000 dollars a year, 1 million dollars. There are only a thousand Americans earning less than $90k?
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Jul 18, 2017 16:31
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Lime Tonics posted:edit 2: misread as trillion, still though, would be funny. It's too early. There are over 300,000,000 people in the US so even if it was a trillion instead of a billion, you'd still only be giving folks like $3-4k.
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Jul 18, 2017 16:55
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LogisticEarth posted:There are over 300,000,000 people in the US so even if it was a trillion instead of a billion, you'd still only be giving folks like $3-4k. Yeah, my maths terrible today, i'd need at least 1 Quadrillion dollars, is there even that much money?
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Jul 18, 2017 17:02
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Lime Tonics posted:Yeah, my maths terrible today, i'd need at least 1 Quadrillion dollars, is there even that much money? Nope. Global wealth estimates I'm seeing hover around $250 trillion.
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Jul 18, 2017 17:25
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I like that emergent goon values seem to be generally pro-animal 
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Jul 18, 2017 17:46
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I'd fund school lunch programs in my state so no one would have to pay for school lunch or breakfast, not even for seconds. I'd pay my debts in full and pay for my close family's debts. I'd also set up a trust so that my extended family's kids wouldn't have to worry about paying for college, or working while in college as long as they were honestly trying. I'd set up a trust so my extended family wouldn't have to worry about any medical bills at all. All they'd have to do is send the bills to the trust and it would be dealt with. No plastic surgery, of course, unless a kid's born with a cleft palate or something. I'd buy a couple of decent newer cars, and a few older ones that I like, and hire a mechanic full time to maintain them. I'd find a Victorian house I liked and restore it for a family home. I'd probably buy some decent houses nearby and have them available for my staff. Chef, cook, maid, butler, handyman, mechanic, valet, tailor, etc. I'd offer to buy into my local nerd store as a silent partner so that it could be improved without having to worry about going broke. I'd support the local animal rescue. I'd fund local women's shelters. I'd have the local pastors send me names of people who are in need and do things secretly to help them get back on their feet.
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Jul 18, 2017 18:33
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A billion dollars is £886,524,849.12 at today's rate, which is more than anyone needs ever. First order of business, fifty percent to charities, for homelessness, refugees, and clean water access in the developing world. I have a friend who has long-term chronic depression, who lives in a small council flat with his half-paralyzed mum and terminally ill abusive dad. I'd buy him a big house and pay someone to take care of his family. Set up the rest of my own family and old friends with property in London to get us out of the hellish rent trap. All the rest on books, drugs, booze and rare early-90s bicycles. Dead of cirrhosis or cocaine-induced heart failure within five or six years. Leave what's left to Momentum for a laugh. Maybe endow a gallery as well.
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Jul 18, 2017 18:37
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The Sexual Shiite posted:I'd support the local animal rescue. Animal rescue shelters is one thing I'd love to try to really revolutionize if I had a billion dollars. Like, have a goal of opening a no-kill, fully funded shelter in every single county in the entire United States. That would probably cost more than a billion dollars so I'd have to try to make the money work for me a little bit.
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Jul 18, 2017 18:38
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Basebf555 posted:Animal rescue shelters is one thing I'd love to try to really revolutionize if I had a billion dollars. Like, have a goal of opening a no-kill, fully funded shelter in every single county in the entire United States. That would probably cost more than a billion dollars so I'd have to try to make the money work for me a little bit.
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Jul 18, 2017 18:42
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Buy nice house Buy nice car Party like a god damned rockstar
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Jul 18, 2017 18:46
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Do as much good for as many people as I'm able while I'm alive. Set up a posthumous trust company to put giant potholes in all diagonal streets in Chicago with little plaques that say "In remembrance of Solice Kirsk" by them.
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Jul 18, 2017 19:08
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I would eat the eggs of the planets rarest animal every day
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Jul 18, 2017 19:09
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One billion $1 burgers.
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Jul 18, 2017 19:16
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oldpainless posted:I would eat the eggs of the planets rarest animal every day something is making me want to say "old dodo less" but it feels stupid and i have better things to do with my thousand million dollars
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Jul 18, 2017 19:19
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Slime posted:One billion $1 burgers. You know they would give you a deep discount, and the discounts would get bigger the more you bought. At the volumes you're talking about the economics would reverse themselves and they would be paying you to eat burgers, ending up with more money than you started with
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Jul 18, 2017 19:54
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I'm not that creative, so I'd set up a Brewster's Millions-style trust for a few people and let them figure it out. Always wanted to know how that would go down irl
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Jul 18, 2017 19:57
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Cocaine.
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Jul 18, 2017 20:07
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buy something awful, llc.
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Jul 18, 2017 20:13
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