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The_White_Crane posted:Fund a system of micro-satellites which collect orbital debris to keep our space safe! Uhmm, we already have a system of micro-satellites? Russian wrenches from Mir, poop from basically everything the US did. The ISS is keeping it clean. And "accidental" Chinese stuff. Cleaning that up would cost more than Elon Musk is worth.
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Jul 27, 2017 23:31
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It's a hell of a mess. Little bit of nuts, little bit of screws, little bit of poo poo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7k4BLZKD5c
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Jul 27, 2017 23:33
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Get more billions and do hostile takeovers of major corporations and wreck them for the lulz. Like deleting google and suing anyone who tries to rebuild using the patents.
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Jul 28, 2017 01:25
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I'd invite all the richest, most corrupt people in the world to my loving Epic Mansion (with water slides, MASSIVE ball pits, a frickin 80's arcade. sriracha dispensers in every room - ev en the bathroom.. you get me) for one of those big rich people parties you hear about (with "blackjack and hookers" haha - reference) and visitors would include bankers, Rothschilds, dipshit Rethuglicans, globalists, rear end in a top hat jock celebrities (Amy Schumer, Adam Sandler, Justin Bieber etc), Anita Sarkeesian (not super rich but killed videogames with SJWism), and just when the party was kicking into gear and everyone was having a good time, I'd come out from behind a pillar in my custom-made Batman outfit (or maybe Rorschach - not sure whether to reference Batman's win "drink well of Gotham's blood" speech at the end of Year One or Rorschach's "you're locked in here with me" Crowning Moment of Awesome) and say "youv'e hosed up this hell world long enough, sinners" and reveal my Doomsday Device - the disco ball was actually a miniature DEATH STAR, and the disco lasers - get this - REAL lasers from my "fully operational battle station". As the scum run for cover, I'll smile and draw my dual katanas (working replicas of Drizzt Do'Urden's Twinkle and Icingdeath, natch) and approach Justin Bieber with a smile. "99% of teens listen to rap and pop," I'd grimly intone in my World of Cardboard Speech. ""Like" this if you're one of the 1% who still listens to REAL MUSIC..."
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Jul 28, 2017 09:49
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Piss on a cop
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Jul 28, 2017 11:26
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very carefully, op.
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Jul 30, 2017 05:45
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Get an expensive rear end car painted/coated in that black stuff that only reflects .0025 percent of light and scare hell out of people at night when they try to tailgate
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Jul 30, 2017 07:25
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:I'd invite all the richest, most corrupt people in the world to my loving Epic Mansion (with water slides, MASSIVE ball pits, a frickin 80's arcade. sriracha dispensers in every room - ev en the bathroom.. you get me) for one of those big rich people parties you hear about (with "blackjack and hookers" haha - reference) and visitors would include bankers, Rothschilds, dipshit Rethuglicans, globalists, rear end in a top hat jock celebrities (Amy Schumer, Adam Sandler, Justin Bieber etc), Anita Sarkeesian (not super rich but killed videogames with SJWism), and just when the party was kicking into gear and everyone was having a good time, I'd come out from behind a pillar in my custom-made Batman outfit (or maybe Rorschach - not sure whether to reference Batman's win "drink well of Gotham's blood" speech at the end of Year One or Rorschach's "you're locked in here with me" Crowning Moment of Awesome) and say "youv'e hosed up this hell world long enough, sinners" and reveal my Doomsday Device - the disco ball was actually a miniature DEATH STAR, and the disco lasers - get this - REAL lasers from my "fully operational battle station". As the scum run for cover, I'll smile and draw my dual katanas (working replicas of Drizzt Do'Urden's Twinkle and Icingdeath, natch) and approach Justin Bieber with a smile. "99% of teens listen to rap and pop," I'd grimly intone in my World of Cardboard Speech. ""Like" this if you're one of the 1% who still listens to REAL MUSIC..."
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Aug 1, 2017 03:13
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The_White_Crane posted:Fund a system of micro-satellites which collect orbital debris to keep our space safe! I want to be one of your minions. This is sheer loving brilliance and I'm pissed that I didn't think of it first!
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Aug 1, 2017 03:24
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MongolArcher posted:I want to be one of your minions. This is sheer loving brilliance and I'm pissed that I didn't think of it first! It probably wouldn't be possible. Stuff we shoot into space tends to be very low density and light (for obvious reasons), so gathering it up in a large enough quantity and glomming it together to make an impactor that could survive a descent through the atmosphere is unlikely. But it's still a fun concept.
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Aug 2, 2017 21:59
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Cocaine
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Aug 2, 2017 22:01
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After the usual stuff of investing a few hundred million (600m?) for interest and setting up family and friends for life... Use interest gained to support a diverse range of charitable causes as well as setting up a few scolarships. Buy 30-40 houses on the same block nearby over the course of say 10 years and rent them out until all have been secured and demolish them creating a new largish local park, provide land along the boundaries for some medium density family sized apartments surrounding it. My Council area has the least amount of parkland in the metro area. Probably to cost about 70m to fund aquisition and the park. Developers and council can fund and build the apartments. Maybe do a deal with state government for them to aquire adjacent land for a new school. Buy myself a nice block of land near the bush about an hour outside the city, build a neat home there with a huge workshop and garage to work on cars, maybe a bit of a hobby farm on the land too. Buy some more land in a suitable rurual area and establish a radio astronomy observatory with a few medium sized dishes, try to partner with a number of local and international universities to fund the project and let them use the facility. Free fiber connections for the closest town residents where this would be located, a few more scolarships and research grants to go with this one. This would be expensive, at least $200m in setting it up initially.
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Aug 2, 2017 22:09
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id do this but id buy a block and then connect all the houses via underground tunnels that i pay to have built before murdering the men paid to build them and just live in my block of houses
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Aug 2, 2017 22:19
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i'd track you down, OP. and then my real work would begin
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Sep 17, 2017 23:08
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poo poo, I'm not ready to be stalked by pictures of Bill Cosby
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Sep 18, 2017 00:29
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2,000 chicks at the same time.
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Sep 18, 2017 05:42
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I'd plotz!
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Sep 22, 2017 22:40
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take posting lessons
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Sep 23, 2017 12:03
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If you want an honest answer OP I'd probably buy a modest house and car and be charitable with my wealth
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Sep 23, 2017 15:51
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Aesop Poprock posted:If you want an honest answer OP I'd probably buy a modest house and car and be charitable with my wealth 
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Sep 23, 2017 23:40
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I'd walk up to the celebrity with a net worth of just under a billion dollars and say "I want to buy you, everything you do, everything about you" then sign a contract to make them drop off the face of the earth forever.
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Sep 24, 2017 02:13
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There's a really good post on like, Quora or something that goes into detail about how to best protect your money (something about shell companies), so probably that first. Then I'd give everyone I know and love five million dollars anonymously. Then I'd buy one of those really nice older townhouses for me and my husband where we could indulge our hobbies and develop our careers. I'd probably do something stupid like open a film-only repertory theater, but I'd definitely either build, buy, or fund a community theater to put on small plays with luxurious budgets. I'd love to be able to give a space to playwrights and actors and creators that would otherwise have a difficult time being noticed. Also we'd have a dog and we'd travel like crazy.
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Sep 24, 2017 04:23
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World's biggest sprint boat race track!!
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Sep 24, 2017 05:46
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1 thousand assassins with contracts out on 1 thousand randomly selected people with randomized fulfillment times. Or post bail for as many people on Earth as possible. Der Luftwaffle has a new favorite as of 07:45 on Sep 24, 2017 |
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Sep 24, 2017 07:41
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I would breed Kea in a secret location and establish populations on every continent
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Sep 24, 2017 08:05
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Ein cooler Typ posted:buy something awful, llc. Judging by the Nightmares Fear Factory thread still bringing the laughs 5 years running, I feet confident in my decision. As for the rest of the money, a few million on installing solar panels on schools and public buildings and a business renting roof space from giant retailers and warehouses. It would still technically make money on the warehouses, it would just be a pretty poor ROI but IDGAF. Maybe with a billion I could start a company manufacturing solar panels in the US and use those to cover everything. Hmmm...
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Sep 24, 2017 21:06
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Der Luftwaffle posted:Or post bail for as many people on Earth as possible. Set up a shell company that pretends to be a debt collection agency that buys up debt for pennies on the dollar then hounds the debtors. Buy up a few million dollars of private student loans that only costs my company $100,000. Forgive all of that debt. Set up a new shell company (once the first company forgives the debts then banks won't sell the private student loans anymore) and do it again.
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Sep 24, 2017 21:20
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I could afford almost every color of oil paint produced by Old Holland!!
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Sep 25, 2017 06:35
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:I'd invite all the richest, most corrupt people in the world to my loving Epic Mansion (with water slides, MASSIVE ball pits, a frickin 80's arcade. sriracha dispensers in every room - ev en the bathroom.. you get me) for one of those big rich people parties you hear about (with "blackjack and hookers" haha - reference) and visitors would include bankers, Rothschilds, dipshit Rethuglicans, globalists, rear end in a top hat jock celebrities (Amy Schumer, Adam Sandler, Justin Bieber etc), Anita Sarkeesian (not super rich but killed videogames with SJWism), and just when the party was kicking into gear and everyone was having a good time, I'd come out from behind a pillar in my custom-made Batman outfit (or maybe Rorschach - not sure whether to reference Batman's win "drink well of Gotham's blood" speech at the end of Year One or Rorschach's "you're locked in here with me" Crowning Moment of Awesome) and say "youv'e hosed up this hell world long enough, sinners" and reveal my Doomsday Device - the disco ball was actually a miniature DEATH STAR, and the disco lasers - get this - REAL lasers from my "fully operational battle station". As the scum run for cover, I'll smile and draw my dual katanas (working replicas of Drizzt Do'Urden's Twinkle and Icingdeath, natch) and approach Justin Bieber with a smile. "99% of teens listen to rap and pop," I'd grimly intone in my World of Cardboard Speech. ""Like" this if you're one of the 1% who still listens to REAL MUSIC..." What's wrong with you? Twinkle and Icingdeath were scimitars
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Sep 25, 2017 07:30
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I have no idea what those are (assuming a video game thing), but Twinkle and Icingdeath may be the greatest names for swords I've ever heard. Icingdeath especially. It just sounds like a heavily frosted cake that kills people.
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Sep 26, 2017 03:33
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Recreate Downton Abbey only I'm the Earl. Like down to every detail. And then set it up so it perpetuates for as long as I can make it happen. Everybody would get great pay and killer benefits
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Sep 26, 2017 03:37
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If I came into a billion dollars (or pounds or euros or whatever) I think I would probably move it overseas to one of those places where you don't have to pay taxes on it.
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Sep 26, 2017 16:11
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I'd organize a series of underground bum fights where homeless people would fight to the death for cash prizes except secretly in every match one of the contestants is a Wall Street executive with no idea what's going on.
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Sep 26, 2017 21:01
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fruit on the bottom posted:I'd organize a series of underground bum fights where homeless people would fight to the death for cash prizes except secretly in every match one of the contestants is a Wall Street executive with no idea what's going on. Sell tickets and you'd easily recoup that bil
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Sep 27, 2017 00:30
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pay off my student loans, buy a house somewhere nice and a new car, self-fund a couple film scripts I've had kicking around and get those made into movies, and probably invest the rest
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Sep 27, 2017 02:35
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Become a real estate mogul. St. Louis needs to be gentrified asap.
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Sep 27, 2017 20:29
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areyoucontagious posted:Sell tickets and you'd easily recoup that bil The government would shut it down so quickly if the truth got out. The world must believe that I am callously playing games by tossing scraps to the dregs of society while only I know the truth: that I am giving a person the chance to escape a life of violence and poverty by choking the life out of an investment banker.
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Sep 27, 2017 23:14
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LORD OF BOOTY posted:pay off my student loans, buy a house somewhere nice and a new car, self-fund a couple film scripts I've had kicking around and get those made into movies, and probably invest the rest you would invest almost all of a billion dollars what would you invest it in? what do you hope to buy, that almost a billion dollars cannot?
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Sep 28, 2017 00:16
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DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:you would invest almost all of a billion dollars
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Sep 28, 2017 00:19
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yeah ok fair play
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Sep 28, 2017 00:19
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