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Genesis 9:21-25 '[Noah] drank of the wine and became drunk, and uncovered himself inside his tent. 22 Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. 23 But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it upon both their shoulders and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were turned away, so that they did not see their father’s nakedness. 24 When Noah awoke from his wine, he knew what his youngest son had done to him. 25 So he said, “Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants he shall be to his brothers.”'  
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Jul 19, 2017 05:22
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huh never really thought of it that way
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Jul 19, 2017 05:23
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That or ham sucked Noah's dick maybe.
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Jul 19, 2017 05:24
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Shoulda just sent in a dildrone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZCVG7zUaRA
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Jul 19, 2017 05:25
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that would never have happened if Noah was drinking cold, refreshing Barq's root beer.
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Jul 19, 2017 05:25
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And so they came, two by two
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Jul 19, 2017 05:26
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noah takes the hambone
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Jul 19, 2017 05:26
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Ham is the black one right
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Jul 19, 2017 05:28
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Candlelight Virgil posted:Genesis 9:21-25 He just mad he got reverse NAMBLA'd
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Jul 19, 2017 05:28
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Yeah but he didn't jerk off on a rock like onanquote:Genesis 38:8-10New International Version (NIV)
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Jul 19, 2017 05:30
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At first I thought he was punishing his son for witnessing his naked form but 'what his son had done to him' sort of implies otherwise. I guess Noah gets raped in Genesis.
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Jul 19, 2017 05:31
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"That's the last time I listen to Lot."
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Jul 19, 2017 05:35
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let it mellow posted:Yeah but he didn't jerk off on a rock like onan Wait. God told him to cuckold his bro? Or was his bro dead?
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Jul 19, 2017 05:47
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BlindSite posted:Wait. God told him to cuckold his bro? Or was his bro dead? Yes and he jerked off on a rock and god killed him for that
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Jul 19, 2017 05:48
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The Bible is half incest
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Jul 19, 2017 05:56
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Nah
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Jul 19, 2017 05:57
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I think I remember reading in the apocrypha that ham gave noah a cleveland steamer.
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Jul 19, 2017 06:10
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Ride The Gravitron posted:The Bible is half incest You see, it wasn't Lot's fault he plowed both his daughters. The evil harlots tricked him with wine! Of course, gently caress their mother she made the mistake of turning around and was told not to so bam, pillar of salt for her! That's a way worse offense.
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Jul 19, 2017 06:14
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I haven't read it in a while, but I'm gonna say yes. Yes, he did. In the same way Dairy Queen hosed this guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_XM18mjV510
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Jul 19, 2017 06:16
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And thus he dwelt in a tent.
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Jul 19, 2017 06:16
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Bogus Adventure posted:I haven't read it in a while, but I'm gonna say yes. Yes, he did. In the same way Dairy Queen hosed this guy: How did Dairy Queen gently caress this dude? he had an ice cream cone
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Jul 19, 2017 06:24
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Schweinhund posted:I think I remember reading in the apocrypha that ham gave noah a cleveland steamer. youre thinking of the acopropha
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Jul 19, 2017 06:28
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let it mellow posted:How did Dairy Queen gently caress this dude? he had an ice cream cone She raped his mouth and then handed him a cone to keep from crying.
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Jul 19, 2017 06:32
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If Adam is the son of God and we are all children of Adam we are all children of God. So why is Jesus so important
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Jul 19, 2017 06:35
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let it mellow posted:Yes and he jerked off on a rock and god killed him for that God doesn't gently caress around with your seed, you best be depositing it in a woman or you'll die.
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Jul 19, 2017 06:39
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Rutibex posted:If Adam is the son of God and we are all children of Adam we are all children of God. So why is Jesus so important he makes free booze
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Jul 19, 2017 06:40
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He either sodomised him or castrated him. Society was hosed up back then. Curse of Ham Curse upon Canaan that was imposed by the biblical patriarch Noah The Curse of Ham is a misnomer[1] for the curse upon Canaan, Ham's son, that was imposed by the biblical patriarch Noah. The curse occurs in the Book of Genesis and concerns Noah's drunkenness and the accompanying shameful act perpetrated by his son Ham, the father of Canaan (Gen. 9:20–27).[2] The controversies raised by this story regarding the nature of Ham's transgression, and the question of why Noah cursed Canaan when Ham had sinned, have been debated for over two thousand years.[3] The majority of commentators, both ancient and modern, have felt that Ham's seeing his father naked was not a sufficiently serious crime to explain the punishment that follows.[14] Nevertheless, Genesis 9:23, in which Shem and Japheth cover Noah with a cloak while averting their eyes, suggests that the words are to be taken literally,[15] and it has recently been pointed out that, in 1st millennium Babylonia, looking at another person's genitals was indeed regarded as a serious matter.[14] Other ancient commentators suggested that Ham was guilty of more than what the Bible says. The Targum Onqelos has Ham gossiping about his father's drunken disgrace "in the street" (a reading which has a basis in the original Hebrew), so that being held up to public mockery was what had angered Noah; as the Cave of Treasures (4th century) puts it, "Ham laughed at his father's shame and did not cover it, but laughed about it and mocked."[16] Ancient commentaries have also debated whether "seeing" someone's nakedness meant to have sex with that person (e.g. Leviticus 20:17).[15] The same idea was raised by 3rd-century rabbis, in the Babylonian Talmud (c. 500 AD), who argue that Ham either castrated his father, or sodomised him.[17] The same explanations are found in three Greek translations of the Bible, which replace the word "see" in verse 22 with another word denoting homosexual relations.[16] The castration theory has its modern counterpart in suggested parallels found in the castration of Uranus by Cronus[18] in Greek mythology and a Hittite myth of the supreme god Anu whose genitals were "bitten off by his rebel son and cup-bearer Kumarbi, who afterwards rejoiced and laughed ... until Anu cursed him".[19] Sophy Wackles fucked around with this message at 06:58 on Jul 19, 2017 |
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Jul 19, 2017 06:55
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Pawn 17 posted:The castration theory has its modern counterpart in suggested parallels found in the castration of Uranus by Cronus[18] in Greek mythology and a Hittite myth of the supreme god Anu whose genitals were "bitten off by his rebel son and cup-bearer Kumarbi, who afterwards rejoiced and laughed ... until Anu cursed him".[19] So you're saying that gods are llamas...good to know... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTgd-MXw8WM
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Jul 19, 2017 07:09
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in 1st millennium Babylonia, looking at another person's genitals was indeed regarded as a serious matter.[14]
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Jul 19, 2017 07:10
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What's weird is, if "seeing" is a euphemism, his brothers are still worried about "seeing" him in the ordinary sense, i.e. walking backwards so they don't glance at his dick, balls, and/or rear end in a top hat. The text really isn't conclusive. My guess is that Noah's son drew dicks all over his face.
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Jul 19, 2017 07:15
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am i the only one who thinks "ham, shem, and japheth" sounds like the names of the ancient three stooges i mean i guess they kind of were
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Jul 19, 2017 08:30
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a few DRUNK BONERS posted:in 1st millennium Babylonia, looking at another person's genitals was indeed regarded as a serious matter.[14] lol
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Jul 19, 2017 08:33
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Pawn 17 posted:
Gives new meaning to "cupping ones balls".
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Jul 19, 2017 08:36
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not sure if they covered this subj in hebrew school op but it sounds cool. good find. lets send this baby upstairs to the scholars
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Jul 19, 2017 09:20
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If I had a time machine with only one use I'd go back to witness the Noah rape. Or dinosaurs maybe.
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Jul 19, 2017 09:29
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This is what happens when you don't provide anime/ star trek to your dumb autistic nerds. They are going to pick a minor character in a book and write fanfiction.
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Jul 19, 2017 09:54
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Nobody knows op. It's one of lifes greatest mysteries
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Jul 19, 2017 10:24
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scrubs season six posted:If I had a time machine with only one use I'd go back to witness the Noah rape. Or dinosaurs maybe. if I could use a time machine to watch just one thing, I'd watch Robocop.
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Jul 19, 2017 11:07
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i will never see noah the same way again and may god smite me if i dont (to be clear if i dont gently caress him right in the rear end)
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Jul 19, 2017 11:27
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Zorodius posted:What's weird is, if "seeing" is a euphemism, his brothers are still worried about "seeing" him in the ordinary sense, i.e. walking backwards so they don't glance at his dick, balls, and/or rear end in a top hat. http://www.evidenceunseen.com/bible-difficulties-2/ot-difficulties/genesis-deuteronomy/gen-921-25-did-ham-rape-noah/ the dick drawing theory seems to hold up but i stll prefer the anal sex angle cause it makes noah a lot more interesting; he's got quite a story now. have a few beers (or just a couple) and he'd tell you some crazy ones let me tell you
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Jul 19, 2017 11:32
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