Action Movies: Some Motherfuckers are Always Trying To Ice Skate Uphill

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Action Movies: Some Motherfuckers are Always Trying To Ice Skate Uphill

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Halloween Jack posted:

I'm watching Ladyhawke and the music is so bad, you guys. It sounds like it should be in a fast food training video.

Remember, studios wanted Star Wars to have a disco soundtrack and Conan the Barbarian to have a rock soundtrack.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2017 01:49

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 01:03

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Edgar Wright talks with Jackie Chan

http://www.talkhouse.com/edgar-wright-baby-driver-talks-with-jackie-chan-for-the-talkhouse-podcast/#.Wd9y_jQBHI8.twitter

# ¿ Oct 12, 2017 16:20

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

X-Ray Pecs posted:

Historical question: I just rewatched Commando, and I gotta know; what�s the first action movie of this breed? The genesis of what everyone mocks in 80s action movies? Commando�s the earliest I can think of, but there�s gotta be at least a couple before it.

You could probably throw in things like Death Wish and the Dirty Harry films too.

# ¿ Nov 9, 2017 21:39

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

McSpanky posted:

And let's not forget his previous phase of "I'm a REAL LIFE BADASS, see?!" where he rode with some LA parish sheriff's department and had a lovely reality show about it.

Ah yes, the reality show where he had "justice vision"

muscles like this! posted:

Just a head's up, Seagal has also "written" a book.

I'm in the middle of reading it now.

Are you going to do a "Let's Read" in The Book Barn?

Davros1 fucked around with this message at 17:14 on Dec 24, 2017

# ¿ Dec 24, 2017 16:48

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Fart City posted:

Every single element of this cover is hilarious.

Every.

Single.

Part.

I'm particularly fond of the slimming photoshop job done on old Steven

# ¿ Dec 25, 2017 00:45

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Big Bad Voodoo Lou posted:

Unless you count Raiders, I have to agree.

Die Hard is Action, Raiders is Adventure.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2017 23:08

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Goonies is a fun adventure film

# ¿ Dec 29, 2017 01:19

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Payndz posted:

I now can't read the name Wild Wild West without mentally prefixing it with "a wicky wicky". God drat you, Will Smith.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6aleKfM_AA&t=0m16s

# ¿ Dec 29, 2017 23:13

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

X-Ray Pecs posted:

I watched it because at least 5 or so people I met my freshman year of college said it was one of the best movies ever made, and it�s since been a guidepost to who to distrust.

This, but with Fight Club.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2018 22:10

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Wheat Loaf posted:

I'm reminded of something I'm not keen on: dvds that make old movies look like direct-to-video movies from 2007. I will give you some examples:

I think the reasoning is studios fear that with original poster artwork is that consumers will see it as "Old" and not want to buy it

# ¿ Jan 5, 2018 17:36

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

I remember once my friend and I, looking for a bad film to rent, picked up one with a painted cover. It was obvious that the artist had just copied Arnold from a Conan film (right down to him holding the Atlantean sword), and when we popped it in, it turned out to be some 60s Roman legionnaire film.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2018 20:02

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Halloween Jack posted:

My parents were oddly prudish about certain things, and they forbade me from renting a lot of horror movies with really good box art. This was a blessing in disguise; they were almost universally complete poo poo. I mean, I missed Sleepaway Camp and some so-bad-it's-good stuff, but I also missed Dracula vs. Frankenstein.

I swear, the one at my local video store was a plastic box with an embossed cover. It ruled. This is what the film looks like:

The company that released the video is called "World's Worst Videos", so at least they can't be accused of false advertising

# ¿ Jan 5, 2018 21:07

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Executive Decision is a better Die Hard on a Plane than Air Force One

# ¿ Feb 19, 2018 02:05

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

LORD OF BOOTY posted:

I dunno, I feel like Daylights is too grounded and stone-faced to be a Moore holdover. It very much feels like the Bond series trying Le Carre or Ludlum's style on for size, whereas License to Kill is a straight-up 80s action movie shoved into the Bond franchise unceremoniously.

They're both good movies and both absolute oddities in the series.

Daylights has Bond escaping down a mountain in a cello case. Don't recall George Smiley ever doing that

# ¿ Feb 24, 2018 12:56

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

LORD OF BOOTY posted:

that's like the one really goofy bit in the entire movie, though, which makes it remarkably low-key for Bond.

Escaping through the pipeline was goofy too. And the killer milkman.

Love "The Living Daylights"

# ¿ Feb 24, 2018 17:00

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

sean10mm posted:

I liked Seagal as an enjoyable trash-tier action star through Under Siege doing gross arm snaps and poo poo. But he kept getting fatter and giving less of a poo poo about anything, and of course was always a huge rear end in a top hat IRL.

e: I love the facial expressions he pulls in almost all the screen shots here.

http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/Above_the_Law

Please also note the thinning hair line.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2018 15:16

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Woo had a whole boat chase on the bayou planned for Hard Target, then ended up getting dropped because Van Damme said "nah, I want to ride a horse instead"

# ¿ Mar 18, 2018 02:22

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

McSpanky posted:

I can't believe there was like two pages of classic pre-nutso(er) Seagal discussion and nobody brought up Hard to Kill, the movie that features a resplendently bearded Seagal outmaneuvering his assassins by rowing his coma bed around a hospital with a mop.

MASON STORM

# ¿ Mar 18, 2018 11:36

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Could you imagine them trying to make that film today, with Seagal's ego?

Director: "Ok, you're character is shot several times, and is presumed dead, but is actually in a coma."
Seagal: "Shot? No, my mystic training will not allow me to be shot. So instead, I'll dodge all the bullets, but make it look like I was shot, then pretend to be in a coma."
Director (sighing): "Whatever."

# ¿ Mar 18, 2018 15:19

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Neo Rasa posted:

You just made me realize I've actually never seen Eraser, is that worth correcting or is it crap?

I fell ill while seeing it in theaters (not because of the film, mind you), and had to leave 3/4 of the way through, and have never gone back to finish it.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2018 16:09

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Neo Rasa posted:

People mentioning Snake Eater in an action movie thread and no one bringing up the Lorenzo Lamas DTV series about a cop/special forces guy adept in guerilla warfare who sees the city as "just another jungle?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3G3ZVg99NU

I remember seeing one of the sequels on TV, and the thing that stuck out the most is in a scene with an ambulance, the ambulance was literally a white van with "AMBULANCE" stenciled on the side

# ¿ May 12, 2018 16:17

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Adkins is this generation's Gary Daniels

# ¿ May 13, 2018 21:19

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

X-Ray Pecs posted:

https://twitter.com/johnwickmovie/status/997159813443272704

So John Wick 3 makes him Number 6 in The Village?

# ¿ May 18, 2018 01:19

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Wheat Loaf posted:

I literally finished watching McBain about an hour ago and it is pretty amazing.

There's another movie from around the same time called Bulletproof in which Gary Busey plays a character who's also called McBain. I'm pretty sure it happened because Gary Busey was in Lethal Weapon and they decided to capitalise by putting him in a cowboy cop vs the drug dealers action movie.

It is on my list.

Is Bulletproof the one with the super tank?

# ¿ May 20, 2018 17:28

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Neo Rasa posted:

It's not just a super tank, it's "Prototype tank codenamed: THUNDERBLAST."

Okay, so the obvious question is: Why wasn't this movie called THUNDERBLAST!!

# ¿ May 20, 2018 20:10

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

What do people think of the trailers for Hotel Artemis?

# ¿ May 21, 2018 02:28

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

LORD OF BOOTY posted:

.... wait am I reading that right? Like, the guy from The League?

GODDAMN RIGHT

# ¿ May 22, 2018 22:41

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Check this very page, heh heh

# ¿ May 23, 2018 02:11

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Basebf555 posted:

It's the curse of Logan Marshall-Green's career, very few people even know he exists because he's a Tom Hardy doppelganger.

He's the dude from Prometheus and The Invitation.

Oh please, I seriously doubt he looks that much like-

*Googles Logan Marshall-Green*

Holy loving poo poo, that's Tom Hardy!

# ¿ Jun 3, 2018 18:27

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Halloween Jack posted:

I say Nightmare counts, and you could count several other slasher series where the villain, at least, is played by the same actor for many sequels because it's not like Robert Englund, Doug Bradley, and Angus Scrimm were getting tons of other work.

Not to mention the Trancers series.

Don Coscarelli wrote and helmed all the Phantasm films (minus the last,which he was still involved in.)

# ¿ Jun 7, 2018 17:12

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Basebf555 posted:

It's heart-warming that he was able to do that but also a bit depressing because you can see as the series goes on how much difficulty they must have had getting a decent budget together. Phantasm II is like a legit movie with a budget of several million(not bad for 1988), by Phantasm IV it was down to less than a million(even worse than it sounds because by then we're talking about 1998 money).

I have a soft spot in my heart for 4. I love the-pre Tall Man, Morningstar, and just the way Scrimm plays him. Such a kind hearted character and you really got to see Scrimm's range.

I also love the shot of where Morningstar steps into the portal, and immediately The Tall Man steps out. Such a disorienting chain. Not even a few seconds go by.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2018 17:37

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

MrBling posted:

This is still the best thing about that movie.

And also Nash pointing out that stunt work is both harder an easier than wrestling. Easier because you only have to worry about a few camera angles, harder because you can't actually just punch the other guy to make it look good.

Also when the director told Nash to follow Jane through the hole in the wall, but the crew hadn't made the hole big enough, so Nash just broke the wall himself to fit.

And when Rebecca Romijn was stitching up Jane, she actually did sew into him several times.

McSpanky posted:

I think it got unfairly dunked on by fanboys who didn't get the 100-minute X-rated bloodletting they were expecting (and like some other internet-savaged cape flicks, actually got a pretty faithful adaptation that they theoretically really wanted instead). The movie has a great macabre sense of humor, as in the aforementioned fight sequence, Frank bringing a knife to a gun fight, the blowtorch interrogation and Travolta's completely ridiculous final farewell.

The blow torch scene, which I saw fans complaining about because "Frank would've really tortured that guy" was directly lifted from a comic.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2018 13:02

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 01:03

Davros1: Jul 19, 2007; You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible

Not really; he had done Alias already

# ¿ Jul 10, 2018 20:08

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Action Movies: Some Motherfuckers are Always Trying To Ice Skate Uphill