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What's the most exaggerated "The streets are a WARZONE OF CRIME!!!" movie? Lots of contenders for that one from the 1980s.
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Aug 10, 2017 18:03
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Basebf555 posted:Can you elaborate a bit on what you mean by "nonsense"? I only ask because a lot of people would probably call the plot of John Wick 2 nonsense but I absolutely love the insane world of that movie. Is it along those lines, or more of just a completely nonsensical plot that's impossible to even follow? It's not as good as Wick 2 so don't expect that.
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Aug 11, 2017 17:27
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Who invented the movie quip? They are worse than Hitler.
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Jan 4, 2018 18:43
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Lobok posted:Liam Neeson? He did it for the A-Team movie, oddly enough. By Taken #12 I'm sure he gave zero fucks about anything though.
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Jan 12, 2018 16:33
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Wheat Loaf posted:I always liked the story about Michael Gambon being offered the role of James Bond where he protested to Cubby Broccoli: Funny thing is that Connery was an amateur bodybuilder before he got the Bond role, and completely dropped that stuff and just had a generic not-fat 1960s male physique for his classic run of Bond movies.
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Jan 12, 2018 16:50
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I think you see the transition to making normal actors get jacked for action roles in the early 2000s, give or take. Like Hugh Jackman in X-Men was just a ordinary looking fit dude, but by X2 in 2003 he's huge.
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Jan 12, 2018 16:52
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Wheat Loaf posted:Jackman's thing is that he works out really, really hard before he does an X-Men movie, then lets it go once he's finished until the next one's ready to start. Yeah, and also IIRC he had to get way smaller to play other roles in-between where he's a physically normal human.
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Jan 12, 2018 16:55
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Halloween Jack posted:The insane thirst for troop dick didn't exist in 1997. It's entirely a propaganda product of the War On Terror. There was some around the Gulf War, but it was pretty mild and pretty transient compared to what we got from 9/11 to now. It also had an undercurrent of "making up for" how Vietnam veterans were treated. Even though people's ideas about that were based on Hollywood action movies as much as anything real.
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Jan 12, 2018 18:48
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poo poo, I think the first Jackie Chan movie I saw was fuckin' Operation Condor.
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Jan 13, 2018 15:22
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Wheat Loaf posted:A few years ago, Nathan Rabin did a series of articles for the Dissolve called "Forgotbusters" about movies that enjoyed great popularity in their day but didn't have longevity commensurate with their immediate success. Avatar is probably going to be the king of this if/when Avatar 2 craps the bed.
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Jan 18, 2018 19:22
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Schneider Heim posted:Thanks to discussion of the thread I've started watching all the Mission: Impossible films as well. I really liked 1 but I didn't understand the opening scene very much, like what was the deal with the bloodied woman on the bed, the fake room, and stuff? Also that part where Ethan's teammate follows the guy with the disk who gets pulled through a fence and stabbed, and then she gets stabbed too, like couldn't you have just stepped back from the fence? But it was all good. 4 is more like 5 than 3 so you should probably go back to it.
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Jan 29, 2018 13:39
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LORD OF BOOTY posted:Oh gently caress Warcraft suggests...not?
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Feb 13, 2018 13:45
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I liked Seagal as an enjoyable trash-tier action star through Under Siege doing gross arm snaps and poo poo. But he kept getting fatter and giving less of a poo poo about anything, and of course was always a huge rear end in a top hat IRL. e: I love the  facial expressions he pulls in almost all the screen shots here.http://www.imfdb.org/wiki/Above_the_Law sean10mm fucked around with this message at 21:50 on Mar 16, 2018 |
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Mar 16, 2018 21:41
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Under Siege was more of a real movie, but I don't know that it's the best STEVEN SEAGAL MOVIE if you know what I mean. The pre-Under Siege movies were all mean-spirited exploitation movies where pre-fatness Seagal did gross poo poo to bad people. They weren't actually good, but they were kind of a breath of fresh air. Stupid, limb-snap-y fresh air. Weirdly, they were often less right-wing than the preceding 80s action movies. Then his brain broke (more) and he became a Putin fanboy and whelp. Also: Ruthless Reviews posted:Seagal encourages a young soldier to occasionally question authority and think for himself. Busy says that Seagal “hates America.” Seagal blows Busy up with a shell the size of my couch.
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Mar 17, 2018 16:16
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McSpanky posted:I can't believe there was like two pages of classic pre-nutso(er) Seagal discussion and nobody brought up Hard to Kill, the movie that features a resplendently bearded Seagal outmaneuvering his assassins by rowing his coma bed around a hospital with a mop. In that movie a woman got hypnotized by his bone while he was in a coma, right? STONECUTTER G HURRICANE THE G IS FOR GUAPO WHICH MEANS HANDSOME ALSO THE G IS FOR GIANT PENIS no really guys sean10mm fucked around with this message at 13:56 on Mar 18, 2018 |
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Mar 18, 2018 13:53
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Megaman's Jockstrap posted:I liked Ebert a lot and thought he was a great writer but when he missed, he missed big. His negative review of The Thing is an outstanding example of this too. ""The Thing" is basically, then, just a geek show, a gross-out movie in which teenagers can dare one another to watch the screen." Woof.
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Apr 16, 2018 00:05
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Tezcatlipoca posted:The genius of The Thing is that Ebert is right. Not really. The gore is amazing but the film runs on creating a great paranoid atmosphere between those moments.
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Apr 16, 2018 12:48
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Halloween Jack posted:I like TMP much more than most people, but I also have a fetish for bald women, so YMMV. I think I just like old effects-heavy movies with cool soundtracks, and don't care if they're slow as hell, so naturally I dig TMP.
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Jun 9, 2018 01:38
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So I actually like the movie The A-Team. It's basically asking, "What if a team of soldiers existed who a) really were as heroic as all our rah-rah  ARE TROOPS bullshit makes them out to be, b) unironically believed in America's stated ideals, and c) actually acted on them?" Its answer is, "Every American institution tries to destroy them at once, in the time it takes to type out this sentence." Like 2/3 of the movie is them at war with the Department of Defense, CIA and Blackwater simultaneously The entire movie runs on the fact of how overpoweringly naive you have to be to buy any of this poo poo. Which Hannibal totally is. He's the only guy in the room that really, truly wants to limit loss of life in Iraq, for instance, but has no idea that this is the case. He's completely sincere about the idea of American intervention saving lives, which makes him and his team an intolerable danger to what American intervention is actually for. Sincerity wanting to do good, taken to its logical conclusion, makes the entire American enterprise in Iraq poo poo its pants in this movie. The only guy who can thread the needle and get them out of the mess even temporarily is... the team's con man, because the whole scenario is bullshit. He sees it for what it is.  The extended cut is actually worse than the theatrical cut. You get like one good Murdoch joke in return for a half hour of dull filler.Fart City posted:I think the MVP of this for me is Demolition Man, where the apocalyptic hellscape it opens with is set a mere three years after the year of its release. Demolition Man is the MVP in general tho. I mean not really, but it's tons of fun regardless.
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Jun 21, 2018 15:29
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Wheat Loaf posted:I haven't seen it but I'm trying to imagine Liam Neeson's accent in it. He fights the accent to... mixed results. HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:There's an extended cut of that movie? In theaters it was already like two hours and change. Anyway, I also really like that movie. The extended cut is the one they show on TV most of the time, it seems like. It adds a ton of Jessica Biel's "investigating" for no discernible reason, and I think 1 joke scene about Murdoch getting electroshock therapy. The blu-ray has both versions fortunately. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3kHy9TCr-Q
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Jun 21, 2018 15:53
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CelticPredator posted:Predator 2 is a good 1997 hellscape. Oh hell yeah, that opening urban war zone scene is just hilariously over the top.
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Jun 21, 2018 17:10
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Halloween Jack posted:And for contrast, consider how John Carpenter's films in the 90s looked like cheesy ripoffs of himself. Most of them were literally low budget. Prince of Darkness is a movie about universal apocalypse made for a budget of whatever was buried in Carpenter's couch cushions for instance. E: that was late 80s but still.
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Jun 27, 2018 12:35
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I do have a soft spot for Under Siege, it's the one time Steven Seagal made something that felt like a real movie! Everything else he made was either fun trash (early career snappin' arms before he got fat) or just poo poo (everything after Under Siege, basically.) I vaguely remember hearing that the Guy Pearce movie Lockout was OK, is that true?
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Jul 12, 2018 21:56
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MeatwadIsGod posted:Yeah, I preferred Bourne because it doesn't rely on magic gadgetry and has lots of cool commonsense stuff like Bourne knocking out a goon and taking his earpiece so he can keep tabs on other pursuers. Plus I love all the fight scenes, shakycam or no. They're still a tad bit schlocky but are really enjoyable. I saw the trailer for the newest one and could tell they were totally out of ideas. MI has managed to stay fresh and I think the varied directors and larger scale is a big part of that. I like the first 3 Bourne movies overall, but the shaky cam got downright STUPID in some scenes. Like at one point you have two people sitting down having a quiet conversation indoors... and the camera is just oscillating for some loving reason? Just get the gently caress out with that poo poo. Fart City posted:The first Jack Reacher is legit underrated. 
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Jul 27, 2018 19:58
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verdigris murder posted:You really do come across as some holier than thou, pompous fool. With a massive chip. I’m not Louis Ck, and using melodramatic words like ‘exposed’ invests way more in my horrific racist triggering than is actually available for you to use to shovel into your furnace of outrage that drives your train of Justice. Counterpoint: I can just read this post you just made and know immediately that you're an insufferable prick.
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Sep 11, 2018 14:48
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CYBORG 2: GLASS SHADOW with Jack Palance! Just look at this:
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Oct 1, 2018 21:43
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Predator 2 might have the best "80s crime panic" opening ever.
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Nov 14, 2018 17:49
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Halloween Jack posted:So is Ermey's speech from On Deadly Ground the cautionary tale? I'm not sure it's even the best Steven Seagal movie version of that. quote:Commander Krill: Ryback's file wasn't IN personnel. It was in the Captain's private cabinet. Ryback is an ex-SEAL.
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Dec 6, 2018 23:22
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Tezcatlipoca posted:The one from First Blood is the best. Better cautionary take from First Blood: Rambo: Don't look at me, look at the road! That's how accidents happen.
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Dec 6, 2018 23:26
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Halloween Jack posted:Bad Boys 2 had that ending where the drug lord gets shot and steps on a landmine. Also the Tropic Thunder landmine scene.
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Jan 3, 2019 13:10
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Narzack posted:I don't know, man. Like, it's a top tier Van Damme movie ( probably up there with Bloodsport and Kickboxer), but I don't think it's very good Woo. Yeah it's not so much Woo-y as craz-y IMO.
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May 3, 2019 19:32
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brocked posted:At least his nickname was "Dutch" in Predator Matrix: You know, when I was a boy and rock and roll came to East Germany, the Communists said it was subversive... (thinks for a moment) Maybe they were right? They actually thought of everything in Commando. e: My favorite bit of Commando stupidity/genius is when they know the fuel receipt was for a sea plane because it's  AMPHIBIAN FUEL.
sean10mm fucked around with this message at 20:43 on Sep 6, 2019 |
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Sep 6, 2019 20:40
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Blast Fantasto posted:^He’s like 5’10” so smaller than Schwarzenegger but not exactly Tom Cruise More like 5'8" IRL. But he's always acted like a 5'4" dude trying to fake being way taller, he's got a big ol' complex about it. https://www.celebheights.com/s/Sylvester-Stallone-347.html
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Oct 14, 2019 16:56
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MrBling posted:You're probably thinking of this scene from Armour of God 2 That gag with the goggles to start the scene is such a fun detail. 
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Jun 1, 2020 22:25
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quote:but without the campiness. Unless I watched the wrong clip just lol, like Bennett 2.0 was legendary
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Feb 13, 2021 14:37
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Basebf555 posted:Maybe it's just a generational thing. Stallone and Arnold weren't exactly known for having small egos when it came to how their characters were presented either. Rocky always got the piss beat out of him even when he won, and Arnold had a protracted fight with out of shape Australian Freddie Mercury at the end of Commando, somehow.
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Feb 26, 2021 23:28
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What those gifs taught me is you need blanks and squibs for days or the director is a gently caress.
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Apr 5, 2021 12:44
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The one blight on the wick movies is all the cg blood instead of real squibs and poo poo.
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Apr 20, 2021 12:31
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poonchasta posted:Nobody was enjoyable. I don't think I could watch it again, though, because it's basically Boomer Dad Power Fantasy: The Movie. Better or worse than Taken?
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Apr 25, 2021 13:41
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I remember the first one being fine as far as action went, and then the rest go pear shaped because they have 500 cuts per second to hide how Neeson either can't or won't move faster than some metaphor for slowness.
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Apr 25, 2021 16:44
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