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POOL IS CLOSED posted:I drank too much sangria to put up tonight's update so uhhh cheers Never and I mean Never apologize for too much sangria! 
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Aug 10, 2017 04:39
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| # ? May 5, 2024 07:33 |
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 Dad Tip #15: You always have time for a beer with your buds.    "What's with the name?" "Oh it's uh... it's kinda dumb."It gets mentioned in this poem I like, and I thought it was a good idea at the time, and I suppose now it's still a good idea because like, the business is still running?  "But people ask me that question all the time and I give them this same answer every time and now I'm standing here rambling and I'm sure we're all getting more and more uncomfortable the more I keep talking but man we're in it now and I can't stop." "..." "..." "..."I'm going to leave out most of the ellipses in the game except when a silence or a rest beat needs to be acknowledged. I'm all about the Pinter pause in voiced work, but most of the game is unvoiced. "So what'll it be?"I scan the chalkboard menu and am immediately overwhelmed. "I'll have a..." Die Antwoord - "Enter the Ninja," explicit version, 2009.   I'm trash at catching hearts in screenshots. We just scored points with Mat for our excellent taste as a rebellious dad. "I don't get it." "Oh it's a pun. Die Antwoord is a South African rap group... they're pretty well known for their... uh, evocative imagery and hyper-stylized music videos. Their music is as catchy as it is disturbing." "I'm doing the thing again." "But coming right up!" "And for you?" "I'll have a Macchiato DeMarco, please." "Coming right up! Do you want that in Small, Medium, or Biggie Smalls?" "Uh... medium..." "Wait is Biggie Smalls big or small?"Kids don't know poo poo. "Uh... I should change that, shouldn't I?" "What's his deal?" "Let the man make his puns. They're cooler bands than you listen to, anyway." "Hey. HEY. Ska was cool once."This couch is actually pretty comfy. Maybe not comfier than our couch, but it's alright. Good lumbar support. You sink right into it... Okay, it's comfier than our couch. Amanda nudges me.  "You should totally become friends with him." "Uhh... I don't know..." "C'mon, what'd we say about meeting new people?" "I can't meet new people if I always stay inside and also don't go outside and also don't talk to people." "See? We're making progress."Mat sets our drinks down at our table and I immediately burn the roof of my mouth. Good one. "Hi! We're new in the neighborhood! I'm Amanda and this is my Dad, John!" "Oh right on! Pleased to meet you both! You oughta come by when my daughter's hanging around the shop. You two might get along." "Yeah, I'm sure we'll maybe come in from time to time." "I'm sure we'll be in here a lot." "You know what? Lemme get your guys' opinion on something."Mat goes into the back and comes out with a fresh plate of something that smells amazing. "I'm working on a new banana bread recipe and I need help coming up with a name for it." "Well, I think we're gonna have to taste test it first so we can uh... get the full flavor profile of... you know, and really appreciate the flavor sensations of..."Amanda nods vigorously. She knows this game. "Yeah, we need to give that 'nana bread a taste if you want us doing free creative labor, I think that would be commensurate with... uh..."I've taught her well. We have trained for this day. "I was just gonna give you guys free banana bread anyway." "Right. Yes. That."Mat serves us each a piece. Amanda and I happily chow down. "This is amazing." "Thanks! The secret ingredient is bananas." "So, any ideas? I'm stumped." "Well, I think I might only be able to give you Dad Band puns, but I'll give it a shot." The Dead Kennedys - "Holiday in Cambodia," 1978. "You know, like the punk band?"We got hearts for this one too. Yeah! "I thought you said you only knew Dad Band puns."  "I'm a hard Dad." "That... actually has a nice ring to it." "Really?" "Yeah. Banana Bread Kennedys. Strong decisions. That's art, baby." "..." "I wanted to say "baby" because I thought it would sound cool but once I said it I realized that it just doesn't sound good coming out of my mouth and maybe I should just leave saying "baby" to the professionals."...Enjoy your coffee!" "Thanks, baby." "See? It sounds good when you say it." I hastily look away, hoping he didn't catch me staring. Who is that? We finish up our drinks and head out. "Thanks for stopping in!" "Take care!" "Okay, now that we're full of caffeine... where to?" "I've got a lot on my plate right now. Did you know that moving is one of the biggest sources of stress for adults?" "Is it right behind "the constant fear that you smell bad and everyone's too polite to tell you"?" "Probably. Do I smell bad?"Amanda gives me a whiff. "You're fine, Pops. Let's go home."  Next time: Who knows? Sorry about the late update! Drinking called, and well, I don't turn down that call on a balmy Wednesday night. Also, all the dads' heads seem to be getting progressively larger in these headshots. I didn't want to cut off any of Mat's hair, though.  So we've met one dad and eyeballed another -- since he's on the title screen, that's not much of a spoiler! He's clearly being positioned as a Bad Boy with those looks. That's a perennial trope for people who like to fantasize about a little danger in their love lives. Only time will tell if he really is, though! What do you think about Mat, our coffee dad? Middle aged men in the audience, do the dads' lines read right to you? They all sound like late teens/early twenties women to me, but hey, I am a woman.
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Aug 10, 2017 17:17
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His pun game is strong. I respect that.
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Aug 10, 2017 17:24
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What a giant dork. I think I'm in love.  Also, Banana Bread Kennedys is far and away the best option there, regardless of our chosen dad personality. Confused Llama fucked around with this message at 18:05 on Aug 10, 2017 |
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Aug 10, 2017 17:34
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I hope Bad Boy Dad is a hunter who's after Vampire Dad.
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Aug 10, 2017 18:02
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This game is loving amazing.
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Aug 10, 2017 18:04
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:What do you think about Mat, our coffee dad? Middle aged men in the audience, do the dads' lines read right to you? They all sound like late teens/early twenties women to me, but hey, I am a woman. Considering "Life is Strange" was hip teen girls written by middle-aged french men, it is just fair that "Dream Daddy" is hip middle-aged men written by twentysomething year old women. It just comes full circle. Makes me wonder... Who exactly was behind the development of this game? #Queer #Millenials?
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Aug 10, 2017 18:45
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Confused Llama posted:What a giant dork. I think I'm in love. I also like Right Said Banana Bread, though. Got a nice rhythm to it. Anyway, seconding the love, this Dad is great and he seems like an excellent match for our goony Dad. Personality-wise anyway, god he is so far out of our league
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Aug 10, 2017 18:49
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OutofSight posted:At least Mat comes along as pleasantly dorky. The writer credits are Leighton (who I think was 19 during the writing? Might have gotten a mistaken source, but anyway, a gal) and Shaw (one of the dudes in the Game Grumps). To clarify, I'm not taking a shot at people writing characters who aren't basically 100% themselves; the dads' dialogues just crack me up because the voice sounds just off in this very particular way, and I'd like to know how authentic this seems to the guys reading the game.
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Aug 10, 2017 18:52
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Sindai posted:I hope Bad Boy Dad is a hunter who's after Vampire Dad. Vampire Dad better be named Vlad, so he can be Vlad the Dad.
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Aug 10, 2017 18:57
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OH HEY WE MEET ANOTHER DAD REAL SOON. Do we: 1. swiftly return a plate he left with us or 2. buzz off for some fresh air since we've been such a busy bee? Night10194 posted:Vampire Dad better be named Vlad, so he can be Vlad the Dad. I think AgentCooper was right on with Alucard and Simon Belmont.
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Aug 10, 2017 19:07
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Be kind, re...turn.
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Aug 10, 2017 19:13
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When I saw this on steam I assumed parody like that pidgeon dating game, or creepy fetish fuel, but so far this actually looks decent, and has surprisingly high quality assets too. Is it a spoiler to ask whether it's going to get porny at some point, or remain SFW?
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Aug 10, 2017 19:36
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Avalerion posted:When I saw this on steam I assumed parody like that pidgeon dating game, or creepy fetish fuel, but so far this actually looks decent, and has surprisingly high quality assets too. If cartoon dads are safe for work where you are, the whole game is basically safe for work. There's no explicit content that I'm aware of. I'm pretty sure the LP subforum has a no porn rule anyway! Graceful Graveler posted:Boy, the mustache does a great job of pushing our Dad's looks straight into unfortunate territory. Crane Fist posted:He really is extremely challenging to look at it He's a lovely dad! He's the thread's dadsona! CommissarMega posted:Not emptyquoting. Also, love our Dad's dress sense 
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Aug 10, 2017 19:47
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Although I guess that just means we'll be rooting for him to find love all the more emphatically. Be the entire thread's self-insert, John. We believe in you.
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Avalerion posted:When I saw this on steam I assumed parody like that pidgeon dating game, or creepy fetish fuel, but so far this actually looks decent, and has surprisingly high quality assets too. Hatoful Boyfriend is 100% earnest, unbelieveable as it may seem.
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Aug 10, 2017 19:48
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I love Hatoful Boyfriend. Sincerity is a jewel.
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Aug 10, 2017 19:52
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:I love Hatoful Boyfriend. Sincerity is a jewel. Sincerity in pursuit of pigeons is no vice!
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Aug 10, 2017 19:58
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I'll be keeping a watch on the thread then. Really feel this genre has a lot of untapped potential outside of straight up hentai for the most part.
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Aug 10, 2017 19:59
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2. forget the plate.
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Aug 10, 2017 20:05
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Oh my god. Also 1, don't be a rude dad.
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Aug 10, 2017 20:19
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I was not prepared for the dads to be this adorable. Jesus, I need an insulin shot that was so sweet.
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Aug 10, 2017 20:53
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Avalerion posted:When I saw this on steam I assumed parody like that pidgeon dating game, or creepy fetish fuel, but so far this actually looks decent, and has surprisingly high quality assets too. I wasn't kidding when I said this game is real loving good. Also, hey, go return that plate!
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Aug 10, 2017 21:00
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I like Mat, he's definitely my Dream Dad That being said, Baby's On Fire is the superior Die Antwoord song 
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Aug 10, 2017 21:29
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I'm a middle-aged man, and the dialogue definitely sounds off, at least for Mat. John seems okay, but I'm reading his lines in a sarcastic Carl-from-ATHF way and that works just as well. This is especially egregious for sounding like a late-teenage woman wrote it. POOL IS CLOSED posted:
I actually wanted to pull that out not for sounding off for a man his age, but because saying "this poem I like" is the sort of thing that just sounds extremely stupid and I'm assuming he's a superfan of Crash Test Dummies now and MMMmmmMMMmmm is his favorite poem.
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Aug 10, 2017 22:09
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:To clarify, I'm not taking a shot at people writing characters who aren't basically 100% themselves; the dads' dialogues just crack me up because the voice sounds just off in this very particular way, and I'd like to know how authentic this seems to the guys reading the game. I apologize, if i sounded more mean with my post than i should. It mostly just amuses me (in a harmless way), when people try to write characters of a certain age group they clearly are not and it sometimes shows through.
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Aug 10, 2017 23:31
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Although at least with Mat he's deliberately awkward. If all the dads in the game talk like that, that's one thing, but if Mat's the most off, that might be dadliberate.
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Aug 10, 2017 23:48
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Sindai posted:I hope Bad Boy Dad is a hunter who's after Vampire Dad. And he's on a hunting trip, hasn't been home in a couple of days....
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Aug 11, 2017 00:37
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PetraCore posted:Although at least with Mat he's deliberately awkward. If all the dads in the game talk like that, that's one thing, but if Mat's the most off, that might be dadliberate. Mat is definitely deliberately socially awkward like that. Also, Hatoful Boyfriend is sincere but it also expects you to know the tropes so you know what it's subverting (unlike this game which is played 100% straight. Except gay). Playing Hatoful Boyfriend without playing a 'genuine' VN is kind of like watching Hot Fuzz without watching any other buddy cop movies - you'll probably still enjoy it but not quite get what it's making affectionate fun of.
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Aug 11, 2017 01:02
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Night10194 posted:We need more dad jokes. MORE POWERFUL dad jokes. Hey, why did the teacher get in a car accident? He was grading on a curve.
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Aug 11, 2017 01:22
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You should all stew on some excellent dad jokes, because the next dadsona will be determined by the poster who makes the best dad joke as determined by me and a special judge.
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Aug 11, 2017 01:44
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:You should all stew on some excellent dad jokes, because the next dadsona will be determined by the poster who makes the best dad joke as determined by me and a special judge. It's a dad eat dad world.
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Aug 11, 2017 02:08
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:You should all stew on some excellent dad jokes, because the next dadsona will be determined by the poster who makes the best dad joke as determined by me and a special judge. [takes a deep breath] What did the skeleton get for working over the holiday break? A Christmas Bone-us. Why wasn't the skeleton afraid of the police? He knew they'd never be able to pin anything on him. Why did the skeleton quit his job? His heart wasn't in it. Why did the skeleton student stay up late? He was boning up for exams. Who does the skeleton call when there's a natural disaster? FEMUR What happened to the pirate ship that sank in shark-infested waters? It came back with a skeleton crew. How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He could feel it in his bones. How did the skeleton know once it started raining? He could feel it ON his bones. What's heavier than a hundred pounds of zombies? A skelly-ton. What happened to the skeleton who slept on his head funny? He woke up as a numb-skull. What was the skeleton doing in the ossuary? Making some new friends. Why did the skeleton quit being a ski instructor? He kept going to pieces on the jumps. (It really took him a while to get himself back together after that.) What happened when the angry skeleton fell down the stairs? Nothing was left but a skull and cross bones. Why didn't the skeleton hang out at the Zygosphene Lounge? It wasn't his kind of joint. What did Skeleton Benjamin Franklin say to the anatomy skeleton that was having trouble holding itself together? "An inch of twine saves spine." What did the skeleton chiropractor say when I asked how he was doing? "Feeling spine." [runs out of oxygen and passes out]
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Aug 11, 2017 02:43
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Wait are we allowed to just dump dadjokes like that? I was waiting for thematic updates!
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Aug 11, 2017 02:44
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When does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn!
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Aug 11, 2017 02:51
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"Dad, I'm hungry!" "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad." EDIT: If anyone plays Overwatch, they're going full Dad with Soldier 76 too: 
CommissarMega fucked around with this message at 07:41 on Aug 11, 2017 |
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Aug 11, 2017 07:37
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Holy hell, Mat is awkward. Then again, the entire game has been pretty verbose if you want to call the realism into question. Middle-aged men (as a middle aged man, per the wife) tend to either be super laconic/standoffish or super schmoozy but either way they don't use quite this much verbiage. Then again, this is a game we're playing for our enjoyment. I don't think the majority of the intended audience wants to scroll through endless exchanges of "How's things? Fine. Ayup. How 'bout them Broncos? Bye." So Dream Daddy's formula is the next best thing. Also, you should totally return the plate. Ormul Lozenge would expect you to return the plate.
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Aug 12, 2017 18:05
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What happens if you run in front of a car? You get tired What happens if you run behind a car? You get exhausted
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Aug 12, 2017 20:00
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 Dad Tip #91: Smile as often as you can, it will make others around you feel more comfortable.  SFX: Doorbell "First visitor already?"I walk over to the door and open it. Generally I don't like this type of stage direction in written media; it's got movie-itis all over it. ???: "Hello!"  "Hell...o?" "Oh, where are my manners? My name is Joseph. I'm your next door neighbor."There are some little voice clips here and there, grunts and so forth -- and Joseph's have a pretty deep voice! "Oh! Yes! Hi! I'm John. That's what my name is." "I saw the moving van and thought I'd bring over some cookies. My daughter Christie wanted me to let you know she baked them herself."Joseph leans in and whispers.  "But between you and me, she just sprinkled in the chocolate chips."We both share a laugh. Kids, right?  "So nice to meet you."Joseph hands her the plate of cookies with a smile. "...Well, thanks for the cookies!" "Amanda, come b-- and she's gone."That's my daughter. Her name is Amanda. She's a charmer." "Daughters are tough. Sons are also tough. Children in general are just... tough." "I hear that. I mean, there'd have to be something wrong with you to try to raise more than two." "I have four kids."WHAT HAVE YOU DONE. "Oh... uh... I meant--" "Don't worry. You didn't mean to be rude."Oh no. This is the first neighbor I've met and my social life is already in a tailspin. I wonder if it's too late to move again? "Uhhhhh... yeah. Okay." "Is this missus around?" "No. Not anymore. She died." "Oh."  "I'm sorry for your loss." "No no, it's alright."Wow, this is uncomfortable. We stand there quietly for a moment, acutely aware of how awkward we both made things. "I'm sorry, can you... close the door real quick?"  "That sounds great. My daughter Amanda and I would love to stop by. Also four kids is a perfectly normal amount of children to have."We shake hands to seal the deal. "Well neighbor, I'll see you at 3 p.m. sharp on Saturday." "Sure thing, neighbor."Joseph starts walking away, but stops to think for a second and turns around. "Hey, in all seriousness, raising a kid on your own can't be easy. If you ever need to... talk about... stuff... I'm the youth minister at a church down the street." "Oh. I dunno, I wouldn't really consider myself a "Youth."" "You look pretty young to me, but suit yourself!" "He seemed nice." "That was the smoothest recover I've ever seen. I should be taking notes." "See? You're already fitting in great." "Where'd those cookies go?" "They're gone. I'm sorry." "If it makes you feel any better, they weren't very good." "So you ate all of them anyway?" "I guess that makes it break time." "Any ideas?"
Next time: We return that plate. Joseph has that whole Regular Haircut, wholesome polo shirt thing going. What do you think, thread? Is this level of perfection attainable by a normal dad with a normal number of kids? He's got the "sweet romance" look, but I don't know, I get the sense that he's not single. Are you homewreckers, thread?! POOL IS CLOSED fucked around with this message at 23:20 on Aug 12, 2017 |
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Aug 12, 2017 23:06
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We-swear-he's-not-Christian minister romance option in a game like this? There's no way that ends well. Don't do it.
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Aug 12, 2017 23:24
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Ewww, don't go. He's gross
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Aug 12, 2017 23:27
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