Android Blues posted:

when i drank all the hot sauce and my tongue bulged out and went AROOOOGA, and my eyes came out and did a 1-4 stretch to express dynamic motion, and i ran to the sink and blowjobbed the faucet for like a hundred minutes, it was because i was tired of drinking wine, which is a boring drink for fools and idiots, and so my hand naturally went to the slim, drinkable neck of the hot sauce bottle instead. i kept drinking the hot sauce until id finished the whole bottle not because im a cartoon of a human whose purpose in this life is to experience exaggerated suffering, but because i know it's rude to expect someone else to drink/pour from a bottle with my splashback in it. i am considerate: i am a renaissance woman.