The nerd emperor

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That Robot: Sep 16, 2004; ask me anything about robots; Buglord

This thread matches the category cos this is definitely in classical studies territory.

The Roman Empire had several emperors during its existence, including some shrimpy nerd-looking guys.

For instance, here is Elagabalus, who reigned for four years before killed by his own boyguards because lol:

Look at this guy, who if he lived in our age would be playing with Warhammer figurines or something relatively nerdy and normal.

Actually wait I lied he was part of a cult and did poo poo like this:

Wikipedia nerds posted:

He aroused further discontent when he married the Vestal Virgin Aquilia Severa, claiming the marriage would produce "godlike children". This was a flagrant breach of Roman law and tradition, which held that any Vestal found to have engaged in sexual intercourse was to be buried alive.

...

In order to become the high priest of his new religion, Elagabalus had himself circumcised. He forced senators to watch while he danced around the altar of Deus Sol Invictus to the accompaniment of drums and cymbals. Each summer solstice he held a festival dedicated to the god, which became popular with the masses because of the free food distributed on these occasions. During this festival, Elagabalus placed the Emesa stone on a chariot adorned with gold and jewels, which he paraded through the city:

ancient nerds posted:
A six horse chariot carried the divinity, the horses huge and flawlessly white, with expensive gold fittings and rich ornaments. No one held the reins, and no one rode in the chariot; the vehicle was escorted as if the god himself were the charioteer. Elagabalus ran backward in front of the chariot, facing the god and holding the horses' reins. He made the whole journey in this reverse fashion, looking up into the face of his god.

The most sacred relics from the Roman religion were transferred from their respective shrines to the Elagabalium, including the emblem of the Great Mother, the fire of Vesta, the Shields of the Salii, and the Palladium, so that no other god could be worshipped except in association with Elagabal.

I'm not even getting into the sexuality section of the article.

Let's talked about people misbehaving and/or having nice meltdowns in antiquity.

# ¿ Aug 30, 2017 06:59

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 15:58

That Robot: Sep 16, 2004; ask me anything about robots; Buglord

Neurosis posted:

this is some good poo poo op thanks.

lol yeah you're welcome

it was like 3am so I knew I wouldn't handle the section about what gave nerd emperor elagabalus an ancient roman boner

but you guys can do it better

this guy did some funny hosed up poo poo with his imperial dong

That Robot fucked around with this message at 14:11 on Aug 30, 2017

# ¿ Aug 30, 2017 14:07

That Robot: Sep 16, 2004; ask me anything about robots; Buglord

im glad ppl liked this thread

i can make a bunch of threads about history and hosed up stuff in antiquity if folks would be interested

# ¿ Aug 30, 2017 19:20

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