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Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


If I wanted bone broth I'd dip my dick in a bowl of Juicero backer tears for 5 minutes.

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Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


We get it, you vape.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


These guys are way behind the curve:



I have actually seen this in the wild.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


While they don't have a Philly Cheesesteak Pizzaburger, they have this:



You have to understand that it's a German company and they have a history of commiting crimes against humanity.

Palpek fucked around with this message at 16:48 on Oct 17, 2017

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Just so that it's clear - this isn't an illustration, this is an actual photo of a person who regularly uses the product.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Just get a Goldwasser. It's been around for over 400 years and it contains vodka so it makes sense that it's a fancy evening drink and not some goddamn drinking water.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


It's pretty bold to try to try to break into an industry as saturated as knives considering how huge the cooking industry is. It's even bolder when all you ever used were cheap poo poo knives lying around other students' dorms on the campus:

quote:

I mean, how hard is it to find a knife that can cut through bread, fruits, nuts and veggies with ease? Very Hard.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


drat, there are so many knives on kickstarter. And some dumb useless avocado cutter got funded:



Yes, it's an official photo with one of the designers.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Apparently most avocado-related hand injuries occur because those loving idiots take an avocado into one hand and then put a knife into it like this:



If you're this loving dumb then yeah, better buy the stupid avocado gadget.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


What if I told you that they're kickstarting ketchup in slices.



Finally the horrors of using normal people ketchup will end! Do you want to know more?

It's only $1.25 per slice and that's the special kickstarter price, retail price will be higher. It's also already funded.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Beet Wagon posted:

also - and I feel like we're not paying enough attention to this - in what possible situation would it be easier and better to have a slice of ketchup than just... ketchup?
They're saying that it doesn't get soaked up by the bread which I guess would be a thing if I was waiting like an hour after making a sandwich to eat it or if ketchup packets that are thrown at you for free everywhere weren't a solution to literally all situations where you need to eat your food later. Every other argument doesn't come close to making sense.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Jason Sextro posted:

Isn't that the essence of marketing - inventing a problem people don't actually have and then presenting the solution?
Yeah but it's what I'd expect from As Seen On TV not Kickstarter. I mean, I expect it at this point but I shouldn't have to.

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Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Get those artsy fartsy pan handles away from my eyes - ugly as sin, a rustic loving nightmare. Holy poo poo gently caress those, I'm angry.

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