Kitchen Gadgets Megathread: Those are Toxins Shooting Out of Your Anus

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Kitchen Gadgets Megathread: Those are Toxins Shooting Out of Your Anus

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Beet Wagon posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mL6WkpwQ1c

You know what else you can make broth with? A plain old fuckin' pot and stove like you probably already have. I mean, you boil some poo poo for a while. It ain't hard

There, I just saved you the expected MSRP of $218

# ¿ Sep 29, 2017 00:45

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 15:02

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

FactsAreUseless posted:

Listen buddy, this isn't just stock, it's mother-flipping BONE BROTH. You don't just cook some meat bones and veg in a pot. You cook some meat bones for a really long time. Do you GET IT NOW!?!!?!!?!?

Well now that you put it like that, I guess I do need a cave kettle

# ¿ Sep 29, 2017 01:53

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Beet Wagon posted:

I give you... ALCHEMA

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/alchema/alchema-turn-fruit-into-personalized-craft-cider

Somewhere between "throwing your rotten fruit away" and "getting blasted on rubbing alcohol," there exists a magical fantasy land in which you can utilize those expensive-rear end pomegranates your kids won't eat to get ripped in the middle of the day! ALCHEMA is your own personal small-batch cider maker! Simply add fruit, sugar, and water of your own choosing, pop in one of the handy yeast packets, and then let that poo poo hang out on your counter for a week (or 16) and entertain your friends with your own terrible Cidre!

ALCHEMA is actually kind of a cool idea until you realize they're shooting for a mostly unattainable millenial ideal - one in which you have infinite free time and money to spend on fresh fruits for your hyper-advanced five gallon bucket, and not the far more realistic scenario in which you drunkenly stuff a bunch of old moldy bananas in the thing and frantically push the button before stumbling into your bathroom to polish off the mouthwash and pass out in the shower.

Can't wait to get my Kickstarter Kitchen together so I can invite my friends over for a meal they'll never forget: "Hey remember that time Foo invited us over and all he had was 'bone broth' and prison hooch?"

Anyway, ten seconds in Google reveals that you can get a five gallon fermenting jug for $40. It doesn't have an LED status indicator, so you'll have to figure out when a couple of weeks have passed on your own, but it's a much cheaper way to learn why Random Fruit Cider is only popular among prison inmates

# ¿ Oct 2, 2017 18:08

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Yeah, coffee, that's what I think of when I see this. That totally looks like coffee paraphernalia

# ¿ Oct 6, 2017 01:51

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Ignoranus posted:

I don't have any basis by which to evaluate the actual methodology, but I really appreciate the gung-ho attitude of this guy, who has cleverly titled his Kickstarter "A Condensed Vacuum Coffee or Tea Extracting Device." It seems so strange when put up against things like the Bripe that have this huge hipster marketing push.

EDIT: and you can drink it out of your OmegaCup, which doesn't look like an ugly, impossible-to-clean turd of a glass:

quote:

Because of the surfaces smallness of the front drinking chamber, sloshing is being reduced therein clearly - in special while standing or other inconvenient situations for drinking, or when having a shaky hand, this helps to drink more easily and safely.

Makes sense

Also:

quote:

Delight is with omegaCup not longer meager between hot and cold - omegaCup uses an entirely natural effect, by that you can earlier, longer and fully enjoy the taste of your hot beverages.

Foo Diddley fucked around with this message at 04:05 on Oct 14, 2017

# ¿ Oct 14, 2017 04:02

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Please do; I can't really go ahead with my barbecue plans until this patent thing is sorted out

# ¿ Oct 17, 2017 17:39

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Beet Wagon posted:

Friends, I bring tidings both good and ill.

Unfortunately, the HAMDOG failed to meet it's kickstarter goal, and funding has been cancelled.

However, ALCHEMA received over triple the amount it asked for and you can now begin taking preorders for a countertop fermentation bucket to make fruitbooze with! I'll keep you posted for when someone inevitably gets botulism and they have to shut the whole thing down

Why would I buy this when I already have a toilet and zip-lock bags

# ¿ Dec 7, 2017 18:14

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Canned Panda posted:

owns

# ¿ Dec 21, 2017 20:59

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

AlbieQuirky posted:

"Moniter" should have tipped you off that the words thing is not where this human excels.

Am I the only one who noticed "ovuvation"? 'Cuz that was my favorite

# ¿ Jan 19, 2018 19:29

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

veiled boner fuel posted:

What about a tri lobed bun with a hotdog on one side and a dick burger on the other side?

What's the third lobe tho

# ¿ Jan 29, 2018 21:16

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Man, whatever happened to Michael Keaton anyway

Guy was brilliant in Beetlejuice

# ¿ Mar 13, 2018 22:55

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Hedenius posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00t50uHS68k

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/tastetro-spice-system-vegan#/

TasteTro sounds like the name of the lamest GI Joe

# ¿ May 22, 2018 20:27

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

He's got like, a wrist launcher with a pepper grinder on it instead of rockets

# ¿ May 22, 2018 20:30

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 15:02

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

You open your presents at Christmas and you try not to cry--you got TasteTro and his tactical food cart

Your friend at school got Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes; he'll never respect you again

# ¿ May 22, 2018 20:34

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