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You really have to play to your own personal strengths. The people who appear to be able to pull little affections out of thin air tend to either be deep thinkers (the type that are constantly planning things in their head) or simply impulsive (a thought pops into their head and they follow it to its conclusion), but the real anchoring factor is how it connects to their own areas of expertise. It's no coincidence that both examples you gave had to do with lyrics and music; if I were to guess, would it be accurate to say she has a vested interest in music? It wouldn't be unlikely if she just so happened to be listening to or thinking about those songs and the idea to apply them to your relationship popped into her head. The execution naturally follows. So find something that you have a knack for and use that as your starting point. Movie buff? Make one of those fake-subtitled movie scene parodies that're so popular these days. Good cook? Make a special meal. Good with your hands? Make something special for her. Writer? Lay down a little prose on a piece of paper and slip it into her pocket for her to find later. If you can find an area of interest that you both overlap in strongly even better. Lastly, you have to realize that even if it seems like little acts of affection are effortless extensions of especially loving people this simply isn't the case; even for small things there is some amount of effort and time being invested. Just like any other skill you have to start by thinking about it actively before it becomes second nature, so you must be willing to commit the necessary though and energy to making these things happen.
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Sep 30, 2017 19:15
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oliveoil posted:Yikes. I feel like my only real interests are videogames, programming, and posting on Internet forums, which don't really translate well into actions of love, especially for people who don't care about those things. I guess going more into my partner's interests would be a good approach, then. E.g., if they like whiskey, buy then something nice out of the blue? You can't buy someone a bottle of whiskey every week, though, which seems like it makes it hard to do something every week, which sorry of seems like the minimum necessary frequency for this sort of thing? Perhaps not but I think that's on the right track. Just stuff like throwing a package of her favorite candy on the cart when you're out for groceries or picking her favorite meal when it's or your turn to cook are easy ways to show she's in your thoughts even when you're not together. Also. employ those active listening skills. Make a mental note every time she says something like "I wish I had...." or "I wish I could...." and see if you can make it happen for her. I guarantee she'll think you're a goddamn wizard.
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Oct 7, 2017 06:39
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Elephunk posted:Someone tell my wife, who hasn't touched a sink of dishes or a load of laundry in a year this. I just leave the wash in a pile on her pillow now because when I fold it for her she barely puts it away Have you talked to her about it? You could be getting to them "first" and she doesn't know it bothers you to do it all.
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Nov 9, 2017 20:08
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