In Training posted:

So zetta slow!

oddium posted:

yeah, im also thinking about the inside of trump's freaking noggin

CharlestonJew posted:

I'm not afraid to say it:

I've never been scared by a cartoon before.

Cowcaster posted:

also there was double king earlier this year
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_MSFkZHNi4

Cowcaster posted:

no! please link

Olive! posted:

Lotta experts on cartoon pornography around here.

glam rock hamhock posted:

This week I got Mystik Belle on PSN because it's a Wayforward game and a Metrodvania and what I didn't expect is that it's also an adventure game and an Amiga throwback. So far this game seems really good even if it did do the ungodly thing of combining the two genres with the most confused wandering and backtracking

babypolis posted:

who decided that was a good idea

In Training posted:

I may start Killer7 tonight.

Zaggitz posted:

Playing FF9 on the PS4, I watched my babysitter play through it in its entirety when i was like 9 or 10 and barely remember anything about it except for existential black mage robots. It's a very cool game and a lot of fun now that you can use the fast forward feature to absolutely destroy chocobo hot and cold.

I'm about to head into Terra with a fuckload of endgame weapons and gear.

Zaphod42 posted:

I did, FirstAidKite. Similarly I ended up being waylay'd, I went to get some new tires put on my car and ended up with a 2 hour wait so I wandered around a nearby sorta super-strip-mall area and went into a bar and had a couple beers.

All in all a pretty chill day.

al-azad posted:

I'll be the rooooundabout!

Wait, no wrong opening.

Zaphod42 posted:

They're both great but this is the best

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSHsPtUMDBs

oddium posted:

precision posted:

Thanks to the free Amnesia collection I started a machine for pigs and I dunno it's pretty much just as good as the first one and Soma even though I know it was made by someone else. Not sure why it was panned

Lizard Wizard posted:

https://twitter.com/Sir_Fowler/status/916470292821798912

Looper posted:

There are no bad smash bros

al-azad posted:

quote:

Mystery of the Druids: Change! Change!

A little like Gabriel Knight's moustache puzzle, this is a case where a dreadful puzzle is amplified by being in an otherwise serious game that's trying to be at least passingly realistic; in this case, a Scotland Yard detective called Halligan learning about a group of evil druids with designs on world domination.

Well, I did say 'passingly' realistic.

Mystery of the Druids is a staggeringly awful game that escaped being in Crap Shoot solely because of its length. To fix that, I finally got around to taking it on in my own time and you can see the stupidity in this here video.

One puzzle though stands out above all others. Fairly early in the game, Halligan has to contact a professor at a museum in Oxford, but being a man for whom the description 'colossal arse' was invented to describe, has no wallet, and so no money to make a phonecall from the nearby phone booth.

No problem! Well, no problem for a sane person, who could solve this in about five ways even without being, and this begs repeating, a Scotland Yard detective. Halligan's solution however is to notice that there's a beggar sitting a couple of screens over with a few measly silvers in his begging bowl. Does he borrow a few and come back later to repay the man his kindness? Give the beggar something he needs in exchange for it? Anything remotely sane?

Haha, no. He drives back to London and raids Scotland Yard's forensic department for alcohol so strong that it literally knocks him unconscious after just a sip. He then mixes this with apple juice, drives back to Oxford... we're now at a two hour round-trip minimum here... and slips it to the beggar on the grounds that he'll probably be okay. When the guy falls unconscious, Halligan steals his money to make his phonecall. To add final insult to injury, the guy he's trying to get through to isn't even in. A complete waste of time!

Oh, but wait - it gets worse! First, Halligan is called on this when the beggar not surprisingly complains, and opts to deny it entirely. More importantly however, he has a desk phone. To cover this up, there's a line about how he keeps making expensive calls and so isn't allowed to dial out of the precinct, but that's bullshit on a par with a character popping their head through the door and going "By the way, humans can fly now." As one final cherry on the poo poo-pie that is this man's life, the same detective willing to take two hour round trips to steal from a beggar later has no issue whatsoever doing things like hopping on a ferry to visit France in search of druidic artefacts he's not even sure exist.

The terrifying thing is that while this is easily the game's worst puzzle, it has competition. And even then, it has nothing on some of the terrible, terrible things that Halligan himself ends up doing on the adventure, with the final puzzle especially establishing him as probably the worst hero of all time. Check out the video for the whole sordid story. Goddamn, what a terrible game.

lets hang out posted:

The Colonel posted:

Ometeotl posted:

This is the worst part of all this recent forum weirdness

The Colonel posted:

first game, actually. earnest evans was the prequel, which they slapped as the head of the entire trilogy in the third game for some reason. the series was always about anett just loving people up

The Colonel posted:

hopefully it fares better than the untold history of japanese game developers, in literally any respect