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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Having an Alligator as a pet is dangerous for reasons you wouldn't expect
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Piso Mojado

Gone Fashing posted:

all of my neighbors assume im from florida now
* # ? Oct 6, 2017 13:50
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# ? May 2, 2024 22:47
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Piso Mojado

 It takes a whole villiage to raise a gator, which is currently a problem since my gator ate several of the villiage children


* # ? Oct 6, 2017 13:51
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Dads Dip Cup

 Me : "what happens when a male alligator leaves the female alligator after the clutch of eggs hatches?"

Pet Alligator : "...don't you frickin' do it."

Me : *snickering* "he has to give her alli-mony! :xd:"


*three days later, at my funeral*

"...swallowed him whole, damndest thing I ever saw. but in the alligator's defense, that WAS a really bad joke"

* # ? Oct 6, 2017 14:01
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ShinyBirdTeeth

sparkle sparkle sparkle
You have to have the "boots talk" when he bumps into leather accessories for the first time.

* # ? Oct 6, 2017 16:19
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ShinyBirdTeeth

sparkle sparkle sparkle
Their football partisanship is out of control.

* # ? Oct 6, 2017 16:20
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kuskus

Meeksha posted:

my alligator ("allie" gator!!) loves it when i put on one of my pairs of crocs. i think it is a dominance thing since people often confuse the two and it makes him glad he's not a pair of comfy shoes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYCNTm8qrkg

* # ? Oct 8, 2017 09:19
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Slush Garbo

FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
Stepped on my alligator in the dark just now, hurts worse than a lego!

* # ? Oct 8, 2017 12:46
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Peg Sliderskew
 Three of my relatives have lost legs since I got my alligator. Drivers keep mounting the pavement and slamming into them whilst distracted by the sight of us walking the alligator together.



Courtesy of Manifisto

* # ? Oct 9, 2017 19:13
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poverty goat



 Ex wife divorced me after her cats got eaten and she won custody of the gator

* # ? Oct 9, 2017 19:19
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Kthulhu5000

by R. Guyovich
I let my alligator invest $500 of my hard earned money into "Halo", however that works, and it totally tanked. I had to cancel all my video game pre-orders!

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
* # ? Oct 10, 2017 01:01
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vanisher

poverty goat posted:

Ex wife divorced me after her cats got eaten and she won custody of the gator
* # ? Oct 10, 2017 05:13
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ShinyBirdTeeth

sparkle sparkle sparkle
When you're sick, a cat will politely sit near you. A dog is so supportive it would serve as a nurse if it had thumbs. But you don't get any sympathy from an alligator. Those bastards are real cold blooded.

* # ? Oct 10, 2017 16:53
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# ? May 2, 2024 22:47
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saucyseadweller

So Damn Saucy
People from Louisiana keep breaking into my house to try to steal and cook my gator...

* # ? Oct 11, 2017 04:09
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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > Having an Alligator as a pet is dangerous for reasons you wouldn't expect
«‹›2 »