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"cripes!" I yell, throwing my hands up at the quizzical kitten in the alleyway. "jumping jehosaphat!" I add as her mother approaches, butting heads with the young one and purring. "MALARKEY" I scream at the circle of cats gathering around me, mewing softly.
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Oct 12, 2017 22:39
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Oct 13, 2017 13:45
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you fuckin piece of poo poo, youll never catch that red dot. look at you go, do you realize how much of an rear end in a top hat you look like? |
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Oct 13, 2017 15:02
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cda posted:strapping kitty into the Clockwork Orange brainwashing chair. After 17 days, no improvement. She is still a cat. cda posted:Welcome to my home, which I call the Retard Cat Castle. Sit on my couch AKA the Stupid Pussy Throne. Would you like some water in a cat bowl? I call it Meowing Idiot Juice. No, I'm more of a dog person, why do you ask? cda posted:Reaing Mein Kampf to my cat, who doesn't become a Nazi. lol ten loving years of explaining dialectical materialism to my cat, but when I ask her whether there can be ethical consumption under capitalism she just says "meow" |
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Oct 14, 2017 20:17
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so much pent-up desire to tell off my boss, but I could never do it. so I found a photo of my boss on facebook, printed out a mask, and put it on fluffy. downed a couple of shots to steady my nerves. petted fluffy a couple of times, then looked her in the eye (or more specifically, the mask's eyes). "you treat me like a jerk," I began. fluffy looked up expectantly. "you must think I'm some kind of chump! you're such a . . . a loving rear end in a top hat to me! you make me do pointless poo poo just because you can!" a few tail twitches from fluffy, a quiet quizzical "mrow?" "well you know what larry? gently caress you. that's right, i said gently caress YOU. you don't own me, you're not the god of me, and as far as I'm concerned you can write those goddam FCS reports over the weekend yourself. I'm not taking any more of your crap, you cocksucker. you motherfucking fatherfucking fartsmelling asslicking shitbrain!!!" I paused to breathe, my face red and flished. there was a moment of silence, then fluffy lifted her fuzzy chin and said, "you're fired."
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Oct 19, 2017 20:35
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