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Who's going to win this mess? This poll is closed. |
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| Our New Canadian Overlords |
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19 | 35.19% |
| East Hartford FC |
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0 | 0% |
| Better World Cup Odds Than the USMNT |
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3 | 5.56% |
| 28-3 |
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4 | 7.41% |
| gently caress Anthony Precourt |
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9 | 16.67% |
| Our DV8 Doesn't Have a Brass Pole in It |
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5 | 9.26% |
| We're Not Repeating, Don't Vote for Us |
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5 | 9.26% |
| That Other...OTHER Canadian Team |
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2 | 3.70% |
| Only Palatable with Vodka |
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3 | 5.56% |
| Rock You Like a Hurrica...nevermind |
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3 | 5.56% |
| We Have the *Best* Luck in Away Knockout Games |
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0 | 0% |
| gently caress Chris Wondolowski for Belgium |
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1 | 1.85% |
| Total: | 54 votes | ||
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 Toronto FC are the 2017 MLS Cup winners and have pulled off the first treble in North America Seriously, the East looks so much better this year top to bottom it's astounding. It would take a plague hitting everything east of the Mississippi but somehow missing New Jersey to host this year's final. Anyway....awwwwww poo poo y'all, it's yet another installment of gently caress You Eurosnobs, This Is America and in America We Have Playoffs. Unlike last year, this year both finalists actually made it to the playoffs. Toronto was apparently a bit miffed over losing the Cup to PKs after a scoreless draw so they decided to hatefuck the rest of the league into a record-shattering season. Let's see if they can do it for a few more weeks. As for Seattle...they matched the rest of the West by looking entirely unimpressive for the most part, but somehow got a #2 seed out of it. So, same format as the last few years: single game knockout not involving the top two seeds (away goals: off), then re-seeded home-and-away series for the conference semis and finals (away goals: on), then single game Cup final at whoever had the most points (away goals: off). Participants Eastern Conference Toronto FC Western Conference Seattle Sounders Knockout Round #5 Columbus Crew at Atlanta: 0, Columbus: 0, Crossbar: 5. Columbus advance on PKs 3-1 thanks to Zack Steffen standing on his head. #6 New York Red Bulls at Red Bulls score roughly as many goals as there were fans in attendance in Bridgeview, win 4-0. The worst loving match possibly this entire season finally ended with Houston scoring the lone goal in the first half of ET. I want those 120 minutes back. San Jose tried give up more points than the Dodgers tonight, still lost. 5-0 Vancouver. Conference Semi-Finals and Finals (Away Goals are used during these phases only) Semi-Finals #1 Toronto FC vs. Leg 1 (@NYR, Oct 30, 7PM ET, FS1): Giovinco is pretty good at free kicks y'all. 2-1 Toronto Leg 2 (@TOR, Nov. 5, 3PM ET, ESPN): A gazillion cards, 2 players sent off at halftime for trying to kill each other in the tunnel and one very fluke goal. 1-0 NYRB Series ends 2-2, Toronto advances on away goals (2-1) Leg 1 (@CLB, Oct 31, 8PM ET, ESPN): This game had a little bit of everything: center ref change, red card, atrocious keeping, players sliding everywhere, very loud swears and clown car goals. 4-1 Crew Leg 2 (@NYC, Nov. 5, 5PM ET, ESPN): Crew decide to almost gently caress themselves over by not really showing up. 2-0 NYC Columbus advance 4-3 on aggregate Leg 1 (@HOU, Oct 30 9:30PM ET, FS1): Another loving shitshow. We really need to go single leg for this. 0-0 Leg 2 (@POR, Nov. 5, 7:30PM ET, FS1): I missed a good chunk of this, but goals actually happened this time. Just not enough for Portland. 2-1 Houston Houston advances 2-1 on aggregate #2 Seattle Sounders vs. Leg 1 (@VAN, Oct. 29, 8:30PM ET, ESPN): 1 loving shot on goal total. Sorry everyone who watched this. 0-0 Leg 2 (@SEA, Nov. 2, 10:30PM ET, FS1): Deuce lives up to his name and drops a brace. Vancouver gets 1 SOG for the entire series. 2-0 Seattle Seattle advance 2-0 on aggregate Finals #1 Toronto FC vs. Leg 1 (@CLB, Nov 21, 8PM ET, ESPN): Columbus strategy of "let's not score any goals with Toronto missing Jozy and Seba" seems like it didn't work. 0-0 Leg 2 (@TOR, Nov 29, 7:20PM ET, FS1): A one-armed, one-eyed, one-legged Jozy Altidore finishes a sublime sequence from Toronto for the series' only goal. Toronto advance 1-0 on aggregate #2 Seattle Sounders vs. Leg 1 (@HOU, Nov 21, 10PM ET, FS1): Away goals FTMFW! First ever victory in Houston! Two Houston players suspended for leg 2...along with 1 of ours  2-0 SeattleLeg 2 (@SEA, Nov 30, 10PM ET, ESPN): ALL THE HOME GOALS!!!!1111 3-0 Seattle Sounders advance 5-0 on aggregate MLS Cup (Dec 9, 4PM EST/5PM PST, ESPN/TSN/UniMas/TVA) Not a repeat of last year's game...unfortunately. 2-0 Toronto, your MLS Cup champs MLS Cup Final host will be whichever team is highest on this list: Toronto FC Seattle Sounders ------------------- Teams below this line can't host Weird poo poo on the field that's not soccer lines NYCFC - The Yankees thankfully did not make the World Series (so 2017 isn't 100% terrible), so NYCFC has all of Yankee Stadium to themselves Seattle - Seahawks have home games on the 29th (day before leg 1 of semis), 5th (leg 2 of semis) and 20th (day before leg 1 of finals). Leg 2 of the semis, which they host, has been moved up to the 2nd, so wouldn't expect any lines there. If it's SEA-POR for the West finals then they'll be hosting leg 1, so could see lines here, otherwise they'll host leg 2 and have no conflict. Toronto FC - The CFL playoff schedule doesn't clash, should be safe here. whypick1 fucked around with this message at 01:05 on Dec 11, 2017 |
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Oct 22, 2017 23:28
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| # ¿ May 10, 2024 04:46 |
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A few of the dates are trickling in. The game the Sounders host will be on the 2nd, so (probably) no football lines.
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Oct 23, 2017 02:01
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Knockout schedule finalized: NYRB@CHI - Oct 25 - 8:30 PM ET - FS1, UniMás, TSN 3 & 5, TVAS CLB@ATL - Oct 26 - 7:00 PM ET - ESPN2, UniMás, TSN 4, TVAS SJE@VAN - Oct 25 - 10:30 PM ET - UniMás, TSN 1,3,4 & 5, TVAS 2 SKC@HOU - Oct 26 - 9:30 PM ET - UniMás, TSN 4, TVAS
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Oct 23, 2017 02:47
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porkface posted:That is a DV8 reference only a Portland native could get behind. And it takes a Portland native to make that reference... ...says the guy who lives in Vancouver because he likes his <10 minute commute, no income tax and being able to pump his own gas like a goddamn adult
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Oct 23, 2017 08:25
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Schweinsteiger's not dead apparently, but is on the bench. edit: That is one sparse-rear end crowd. whypick1 fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Oct 26, 2017 |
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Oct 26, 2017 01:34
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HOW DO OFFSIDE TRAP WORK 
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Oct 26, 2017 01:45
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Oct 26, 2017 01:49
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Your Boy Fancy posted:Sorry Fire Friends. I remember what this feels like. It all goes so well, and suddenly everything is poo poo and OH MY GOD GET ME THE SCREENCAP OF THAT GOON GINGER rear end JERSEY FUCKER This? 
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Oct 26, 2017 01:54
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I think it's safe for the Chicagoons to leave this thread now.
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Oct 26, 2017 03:06
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Shrapnig posted:Keep going, I'm almost there. And release.
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Oct 26, 2017 03:23
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3 minutes stoppage? That's just cruel
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Oct 26, 2017 03:26
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No matter what happens, I really hope Fredy Montero doesn't score.
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Oct 26, 2017 04:06
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WAY TO NOT DO ANY OF THAT IN 10+ PLAYOFF GAMES FOR SEATTLE JERKASS
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Oct 26, 2017 04:30
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Oct 26, 2017 05:15
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Pretty sure Watson was offside, but maybe a team with a -21 GD in the regular season doesn't deserve to advance in the playoffs.
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Oct 26, 2017 05:23
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcZzlPGnKdU
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Oct 26, 2017 05:37
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Oct 26, 2017 05:37
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Your Boy Fancy posted:I switched to the World Series to see extra innings and came back to a pile of corpses A pile of corpses probably would've done a better job defending those last 3 goals.
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Oct 26, 2017 05:51
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Sounders-Whitecaps playing on the 29th and 2nd, so I'd imagine one of the East matchups is on the 30th with the remaining 2 on Halloween.
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Oct 26, 2017 06:03
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Gigi Galli posted:Ok good. I have an plasma from a thousand years ago and it's poo poo sometimes. VAR can only rule a goal offside after the fact, not overturn offside on a not-goal. Also I tuned in just after that happened apparently.
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Oct 27, 2017 00:52
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This game's going to end with Twellman strangling a linesman to death, isn't it? edit: That should probably be a penalty too
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Oct 27, 2017 01:20
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Whifffffffffffff
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Oct 27, 2017 01:28
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Nice save
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Oct 27, 2017 01:30
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Jesus
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Oct 27, 2017 01:33
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Crazy Ted posted:Crossbar 4, Atlanta 0, Columbus 0
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Oct 27, 2017 01:37
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This seems appropriate right now: https://twitter.com/BadMLSComics/status/807764581946888192 (This has been a very fun scoreless draw though)
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Oct 27, 2017 01:39
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He dead
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Oct 27, 2017 01:41
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This is still a scoreless draw somehow
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Oct 27, 2017 01:47
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Offside, drink
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Oct 27, 2017 01:48
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Gigi Galli posted:Whoa whoa, 4th sub? That's new. Yep, new this year, being tested out by IFAB.
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Oct 27, 2017 02:05
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Can't wait for this go to PKs and for someone hit both posts and the crossbar on the same attempt somehow.
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Oct 27, 2017 02:30
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Now we need a bicycle kick clearance on the other end.
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Oct 27, 2017 02:35
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Jack2142 posted:I don't know why Berhalter won't like sub on Jahn, this is the type of game won by the shittiest player you can possibly put on the field. There you go
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Oct 27, 2017 02:37
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Congratulations NYCFC on your upcoming road win.
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Oct 27, 2017 02:38
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Where is that ball Twellman?
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Oct 27, 2017 02:44
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sticksy posted:Also Atlanta apparently blows at penalties. They must all be English.
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Oct 27, 2017 02:45
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Still guessed right
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Oct 27, 2017 02:47
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POST!
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Oct 27, 2017 02:48
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Jack2142 posted:I don't know why Berhalter won't like sub on Jahn, this is the type of game won by the shittiest player you can possibly put on the field. 
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Oct 27, 2017 02:49
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| # ¿ May 10, 2024 04:46 |
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Zack Steffen getting laid once they back to Ohio.
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Oct 27, 2017 02:51
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