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TheJunkyardGod
Sep 19, 2004

Do not taunt the Octopus
My daughter has cancer and there's an amazing charity that offered to help us with Thanksgiving Dinner. We loved the gesture but while we thought we were getting prepared food we got a 22 pound frozen turkey and lots of groceries.

This is all awesome except I've never cooked a turkey before. And this bird is big and intimidating.

Wish me luck.

Edit: IT'S STILL FROZEN gently caress

TheJunkyardGod fucked around with this message at 17:48 on Nov 22, 2017

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fr0id
Jul 27, 2016

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!

TheJunkyardGod posted:

My daughter has cancer and there's an amazing charity that offered to help us with Thanksgiving Dinner. We loved the gesture but while we thought we were getting prepared food we got a 22 pound frozen turkey and lots of groceries.

This is all awesome except I've never cooked a turkey before. And this bird is big and intimidating.

Wish me luck.

Spatchcock the turkey, man. It will go so much more smoothly. http://www.seriouseats.com/2012/11/how-to-spatchcock-cook-turkey-thanksgiving-fast-easy-way-spatchcocked.html

Zombie Dachshund
Feb 26, 2016

Even better: cut it up. Unless you're looking for a fancy presentation, it's way easier and faster to cook the breast and legs separately. Plus, you can take each piece out when it's ready: no overcooked breast!

edit: here, read this:
http://www.tommyeats.com/tommyeats/2014/11/are-you-cooking-your-turkey-whole-why-.html

Zombie Dachshund fucked around with this message at 18:04 on Nov 22, 2017

Murgos
Oct 21, 2010
Other than spatchcocking the turkey my go to thanksgiving tip is to make a cooks illustrated stuffing recipe.

I think it’s called ‘stuffing with fresh herbs’ but the general idea is that you get a few extra pounds of cheap turkey parts and use that to add flavor to the stuffing when cooked separately from the bird.


What you do is prep the bread crumbs with some herbs, eggs, melted butter and chicken broth in a casserole dish. Just lightly brown the turkey parts (wings are recommended) and put them on a wire rack on top of the casserole and put the whole shooting works into the oven until GBD. I think 350 for 40 minutes to an hour.

Ratio is 2lbs of bread to 3 lbs of wings and 2.5c broth with 3eggs.

Makes a massive amount of super delicious savory, creamy bread pudding that’s just full of turkey flavor.

This also lets you save the drippings from the spatchcocked turkey for gravy.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
My friend bought me a 20 pound turkey a week and a half ago. The sticker on it says best by November 27. It was too big to fit in anywhere else in the fridge so I took out the vegetable drawer at the bottom and put the turkey there. Every time I've checked the turkey with the laser thermometer, it would say 46°. Am I going to die and take 20 people with me?

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 02:38 on Nov 23, 2017

Republicans
Oct 14, 2003

- More money for us

- Fuck you


TheJunkyardGod posted:

Edit: IT'S STILL FROZEN gently caress

Put it in a big pot or a clean bucket and run it under a barely-flowing faucet in your bathtub or shower. Should be good to go by morning.

Butch Cassidy
Jul 28, 2010

My mom was sent home from work with all their leftover store-bought pies after the employee lunch. All of which ended up at my house to serve tomorrow. Guess the homemade ones will wait for Saturday.

Sampled the wares and they are decent so no complaints.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
I say this every year but back in 2010 I didn't know how to even operate a one button rice cooker. Thanks to you anti-social sociopathic misanthropes beating my self-esteem for over half a decade I am now cooking turkey for 26 people and making invisible pumpkin pies using a centrifuge and amylase enzymes.

Aerofallosov
Oct 3, 2007

Friend to Fishes. Just keep swimming.
That is incredibly cool pie!

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Xiahou Dun posted:

Sorry, traveling for the holiday meant that I was phone-posting for longer than I thought.

So here's the rough sketch of my recipe. I generally eye-ball everything so amounts are vague and should be adjusted to taste, but it's pretty simple.

Pan-Browned Brussel Sprouts with Lemon- Vinaigrette :

You will need :

Brussel sprouts, halved (Say a pound for now ; it scales fine depending on how many brussel sprouts you want)
1/3 cup balsamic vinegar
1/3 cup water
A lemon (or like 2ish tablespoons lemon-juice)
1 tablespoon of brown sugar (or raw sugar or whatever works ; just white sugar doesn't work in my experience)

Optional : some kind of roasted nuts to sprinkle on top*

Add the vinegar, the water, the lemon-juice and the sugar in a small, wide-bottomed saucepan on medium-high heat and let it reduce until you get a runny glaze. Feel free to toss a bit of lemon zest in there if you're feeling fancy, I guess. If you're in a rush you can do this on as high a temperature as you want, the only issue is that the vinegar fumes can get pretty over-whelming : subject to your nose's tolerance and your ventilation.

While that's going, drizzle oil into a wide pan for the brussel sprouts. The wider and hotter the better. I find that the best is one of the porcelain-coated cast-iron jobs like you buy from Le Creuset, but anything that'll get nice and hot works good. Once the oil's going good, place the sprouts in cut-side down to brown up, swishing them around every once in a while so they don't get stuck but letting them mostly just do their own thing. Flip them over with tongs to get the other side, and (maybe) back onto the cut-side for a final crisping. You know they're done when they get all dark and crunchy and some are falling apart. Drizzle with the lemon vinaigrette and nuts if you're adding those. Serve immediately.

It's a super simple recipe because I basically improvised it like 5 years ago while in a rush and half-drunk, but it's super popular and it gets demanded pretty frequently. You can make it in a broiler too if you're pushed for burners or don't want to futz with it, but I don't like that as much.

Hope this helps!


*I personally am not a big fan but other people like it with like some roasted walnuts. You do you.

Thanks for this! Didn't get to make them because I wasn't able to find Brussels sprouts for some reason

Definitely going to do it for Christmas though

Ugly In The Morning fucked around with this message at 01:56 on Nov 24, 2017

Partycat
Oct 25, 2004

I'm a home kitchen bungler. I did a spatchcocked bird two years ago, and undercooked it. I've done a jalapeno cranberry sauce, mousse, all kinds of stuff. Between GWS and their tips, and food wishes, I've hoped my game and - most importantly - my confidence.

Unfortunately I was sick in bed up until this morning so I got up at 4 AM, went to the store, stocked up, and cleaned my kitchen top to bottom.

I make potato leek soup today (though I haven't had it before , I don't know if it is good but it is not ... Gross).

I made up a turchetta which is curing in vac in the fridge. I have carrots for SV and supplies for those pull apart stuffing rolls. Black Friday is looking up!

Partycat fucked around with this message at 02:12 on Nov 24, 2017

The Midniter
Jul 9, 2001


First attempt at deboning anything ever, actually came out pretty well


Goat cheese, prosciutto, fresh figs (hidden)


The finished product


The money shot, not as impressive as I wanted but it tasted goddamn delicious


Deviled eggs appetizer


Spread: turkey, whipped butternut squash, sourdough and pumpernickel dressing with wild rice, Brussels sprouts with bacon and crispy fried shallots, broccoli casserole. Cranberry sauce and yeast rolls not pictured



Overall it was a very successful Thanksgiving, though it took all fuckin’ day to make and was a mountain of food for just me and my wife. Just coming out of the food coma now, five hours later.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
Hey if I bake a pie tonight can I leave it on the counter overnight?

Republicans
Oct 14, 2003

- More money for us

- Fuck you


A roast turkey meal is nice and all but the real star of the season comes tomorrow with the turkey and dumplings I'll make from the carcass and some extra necks I bought.

Turkey necks used to be dirt cheap but they've doubled in price since last year. Guess people are starting to catch wise that they're the best part.

Annath
Jan 11, 2009

Batatouille is a great and funny play on words for a video game creature and I love silly words like these
Clever Betty
Well the pork shoulder I'd been thawing in a bucket of ice went off, I gujess I didn't change the ice water often enough.

Luckily I noticed as soon as I opened the plastic wrapper, it just had this faint rancid scent that didn't go away with rinsing. Looked fine visually, but I didn't want to poison the family.

I'm hoping the turkey is fine; we're doing our Thanksgiving Saturday so I won't be taking it out of its package until tomorrow for the brine. It was thawing on much colder days, and got moved to the indoor fridge when I needed to thaw the shoulder... I just hope the outer surface didn't warm enough to go off while the inside stayed frozen.

It really sucks having a tiny fridge that can barely fit one item.

Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005

Steve Yun posted:

I say this every year but back in 2010 I didn't know how to even operate a one button rice cooker. Thanks to you anti-social sociopathic misanthropes beating my self-esteem for over half a decade I am now cooking turkey for 26 people and making invisible pumpkin pies using a centrifuge and amylase enzymes.



Your story must be fascinating. From the way you post it sounds like you are a lifetime pro but now you say this? Did you go to work professionally or something or did you just git gud?

That pie looks amazing but you always have the right answer and technique for anything.

SymmetryrtemmyS
Jul 13, 2013

I got super tired of seeing your avatar throwing those fuckin' glasses around in the astrology thread so I fixed it to a .jpg
Holy poo poo am I fuckin beat. This is my first Thanksgiving, and it was a big one (at least, compared to others I've had).

Ham, turkey, bread for stuffing, turkey stock for stuffing, stuffing, stuffing knots, rolls, sweet potatoes two ways, apple pie, pumpkin pie, whipped cream, sticky cranberry gingerbread (like a cake/brownie texture, but stickier, and gingerbread), chocolate cake, cranberry sauce two ways, mashed potatoes two ways, and green bean casserole. It took about 9 hours to pull together; I was sous to my sister. I had maybe 30 minutes of idle time, spread out in 2-5 minute intervals.

We only served six adults and two kids, so we didn't even go through a quarter of the food on the table. Tons of leftovers.

I'm looking forward to next year.

mindphlux
Jan 8, 2004

by R. Guyovich

Steve Yun posted:

Hey if I bake a pie tonight can I leave it on the counter overnight?

poo poo the thread didn't answer this quickly enough

rip steve yun

we knew you so fondly

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
Answer i found: safe to leave out if it's fruit only. Pies with protein (custard, pumpkin, etc) not okay.

poverty goat
Feb 15, 2004



I made this pumpkin pie and and it was the favorite of a crowded field of homemade pies in a family where the pumpkin pie usually goes mostly uneaten

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




Steve Yun posted:

Answer i found: safe to leave out if it's fruit only. Pies with protein (custard, pumpkin, etc) not okay.

Pumpkin's usually fine overnight if you're doing the evaporated milk version. A regular pumpkin custard I'd be less trusting of.

Annath
Jan 11, 2009

Batatouille is a great and funny play on words for a video game creature and I love silly words like these
Clever Betty


21lbs of deliciousness :D

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




That's a good looking bird!

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat
New Years resolutions:

Never do oven turkey unless your AC is working. Especially if you're also using a baking steel



Same goes for steam pans indoors

Zombie Dachshund
Feb 26, 2016

First time in years I haven't hosted Thanksgiving; my contribution was to bring a charcuterie plate:



Starting at 12:00 and going clockwise- Humboldt Fog, lardo crostini, apple butter, curry salami, mozzarella balls, gruyere, pickled beets, smoked lonza, pickled okra, spuma di mortadella, Jesus de Lyon. Venison salami in the center. All the meats, vegetables, and the mozzarella were homemade.

Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005

^^^^^ That’s a nice looking platter.


We did pretty well. Two whole birds turned into white meat turchetta, smoked dark meat, and stock for gravy. Brussels sprouts with shallots and walnuts, smoked the yams with the dark meat, and cranberry sauce. Dressing and potatoes because carbs. The salad and onions showed up. Tons of dressing left over because I did the math wrong and ended up with 4x the intended amount but pretty much everything else was decimated.

Volcott
Mar 30, 2010

People paying American dollars to let other people know they didn't agree with someone's position on something is the lifeblood of these forums.
Turkey breast came out nicely, and it was more than enough food for 3 people. Did get me wondering, though, what slaughterhouses do with the legs and wings. I've never seen a pack of those in a grocery store.

Do they sell them to Medieval Times or something?

TheNothingNew
Nov 10, 2008

Volcott posted:

Turkey breast came out nicely, and it was more than enough food for 3 people. Did get me wondering, though, what slaughterhouses do with the legs and wings. I've never seen a pack of those in a grocery store.

Do they sell them to Medieval Times or something?

I've seen whole turkey legs for sale, sure. Not wings though.

Smoked turkey legs, wings and neck bones were common when I worked a meat counter.

Some probably also go to ground turkey and pet food.

Annath
Jan 11, 2009

Batatouille is a great and funny play on words for a video game creature and I love silly words like these
Clever Betty
My mom gave me the leftover ham bones after we'd carved it, so its being turned into some fantastic bean soup.

Put the carved ham in the slow cooker with some chicken broth and onion overnight, cooked the meat right off:



This is post-cooking obviously

Then put 2lbs of Great Northern Bean in the cooker with some celery and garlic, gonna be cooking the rest of the day.

Xiahou Dun
Jul 16, 2009

We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.



That's some good loving looking soup, dude.

Slow cooking soups is the best. Nothing beats having a chill cold rainy day at home just letting soup cook for like 8 hours. Read a book. Listen to a podcast. Crack a beer whenever you want, you aren't going anywhere. Maybe make some bread to go with it. Stare at the pretty Fall leaves being all wet. Savor not being outside.

Those days loving own.

Annath
Jan 11, 2009

Batatouille is a great and funny play on words for a video game creature and I love silly words like these
Clever Betty
It's been a nice day. Just relaxing, watching Netflix. Finished the 3rd Stormlight Archive novel the other day, so I gotta get another book lol.

Soup is smelling good. I wish I had some carrots to toss in there.

Omne
Jul 12, 2003

Orangedude Forever

Since it was just three of us (having moved, we don't know anyone here yet, and my wife's aunt was visiting for her first Thanksgiving), I made Cornish game hens instead. Came out great, very juicy. I wish the outsides were a little more brown, maybe I needed to put it on broil for a bit. Stuffing came out great again, and my wife made sweet potato casserole for the first time, it was excellent.

Republicans
Oct 14, 2003

- More money for us

- Fuck you


Annath posted:

My mom gave me the leftover ham bones after we'd carved it, so its being turned into some fantastic bean soup.

Put the carved ham in the slow cooker with some chicken broth and onion overnight, cooked the meat right off:



This is post-cooking obviously

Then put 2lbs of Great Northern Bean in the cooker with some celery and garlic, gonna be cooking the rest of the day.



I'm not a huge ham fan but I love making bean soup with ham bones. Bean with bacon was my favorite canned soup growing up.

Nhilist
Jul 29, 2004
I like it quiet in here
8lb Ribroast Frenched and trussed.






Seared



Took a swim



Got baked a bit





Perfect mid rare, thank you sous vide...possibly the worst picture ever taken, but the troops were getting restless, wanted to get a nice shot of untrussing/carving of the french cut and the rest but C'est la vie.

blixa
Jan 9, 2006

Kein bestandteil sein
^ Looks amazing!

I must be insane, but I'm doing a party where I'm cooking Swedish Christmas food for 50+ people. Meatballs, ham, quiches, little sausages, cured salmon, potato gratin (Janssons frestelse), stewed kale, red cabbage, Brussels sprouts, different types of bread, gingerbread cookies, mulled wine, and more. I've been cooking and baking since Saturday and have three more nights to finish everything. Last year, I had 45 RSVP yes and 40 showed up, this year it's 52 "yes" but multiple +1s that I think are coming so...hopefully I'll still live and breathe.

Good thing there'll be plenty of wine (and Akvavit).

Murgos
Oct 21, 2010

Nhilist posted:

8lb Ribroast Frenched and trussed.

Perfect mid rare, thank you sous vide...possibly the worst picture ever taken, but the troops were getting restless, wanted to get a nice shot of untrussing/carving of the french cut and the rest but C'est la vie.

I am not impressed with the fat cap on that roast. I find sometimes that the butcher is overzealous trimming it, to the point that I am considering asking them not to trim it at all this year (I do standing rib roast every year for Christmas dinner).

I like to get a nice crispy crust on the fat, looks great with the diamonds cut in from hashing it. Tastes great too!

I wish I had a sous-vide though (heck at $200 for a USDA prime, dry aged roast its almost reasonable purchase just for this application), I usually just go with start the oven low as it will go and then turn it off when the meat hits about 100F internally and let the residual heat carry it over. Takes a long rear end time but comes out a nice as anything. Then I let it rest for an hour and then pan sear and then put it under the broiler for 5 minutes to crisp up the fat.

Nhilist
Jul 29, 2004
I like it quiet in here

Murgos posted:

I am not impressed with the fat cap on that roast. I find sometimes that the butcher is overzealous trimming it, to the point that I am considering asking them not to trim it at all this year (I do standing rib roast every year for Christmas dinner).

I agree and I am taking the blame for this. My local butcher always hooks me up on great cuts, so I called this one in and due to running out of time, I had him do the the trim, french and truss.

Murgos posted:

I wish I had a sous-vide though (heck at $200 for a USDA prime, dry aged roast its almost reasonable purchase just for this application)

This ^ and about a million other reasons :)

Lawnie
Sep 6, 2006

That is my helmet
Give it back
you are a lion
It doesn't even fit
Grimey Drawer
My girlfriend’s dad made a boneless rib roast for Easter this year. 500*F oven for 30 minutes, then turned the oven off and left it in for about 4 hours. It was pretty good!

atothesquiz
Aug 31, 2004
My wife and I had a rarest of Thanksgivings. A Thanksgiving to ourselves, no having to go over to our families place on Thursday, nobody coming to ours. We got to finally make exactly what we wanted and didn't have to cater to anyone else. It was glorious. I also didn't have to wear pants all day.

We did Kenji's Turchetta which turned out awesome. Below show all the steps I took to make it, thinking that it might be helpful for those who are curious but think it may be too difficult. It wasn't. It took less than hour of "prep" from cutting the sage in my back yard to vacuum sealing the rollup. I would definitely do it again. Edit: Next time I would use coarse ground pepper isntead of pepper corns. Even long after the paste was produced, there were still whole pepper corns bouncing around in my food processor.

We also made cornbread stuffing we saw on serious eats (http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2015/11/cornbread-stuffing-sausage-sage-recipe.html). It turned out fine but then again I'm not a huge fan of cornbread.

Along with the cornbread stuffing, we made a squash hasselback because the video on bon appetite was too funny not to give it an attempt. Again, this was also very easy and turned out great. I would definitely make this again. The glaze was just the right amount of heat and sweetness.

Dinner rolls were made following this: http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/icebox-dinner-rolls They turned out good, if not a bit sweet for my tastes.























atothesquiz fucked around with this message at 17:40 on Nov 30, 2017

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Jay Carney
Mar 23, 2007

If you do that you will die on the toilet.
amazing work dude!

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