Time for Crab: Now with Kung-Fu Snip!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Time for Crab: Now with Kung-Fu Snip!

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

like hell they will

they'll defeat the robots when the robots come for the crabs

if the robots come for us first, the crabs will scavenge our remains

# ? Mar 27, 2024 17:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 28, 2024 23:24

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Leperflesh posted:

the crabs will scavenge our remains

# ? Mar 27, 2024 18:04

Ror: Oct 21, 2010; 😸Everything's 🗞️ purrfect!💯🤟

imagine that episode of black mirror with the robot dog except instead it�s a crab

better episode :crab:

# ? Mar 27, 2024 19:25

BasicLich: Oct 22, 2020; A very smart little mouse!

crebs

# ? Mar 28, 2024 05:22

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; Can't post for 6 hours!

Even AI is not safe from becoming crab

https://twitter.com/meakoopa/status/1773021841814147128

# ? Mar 28, 2024 13:22

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Even AI is not safe from becoming crab

https://twitter.com/meakoopa/status/1773022989933494610

# ? Mar 28, 2024 13:38

Waterbed Wendy: Jan 29, 2009

Dunking the eucharist into drawn butter every Sunday so that I might consume His holy flesh

# ? Mar 28, 2024 15:55

Blue Footed Booby: Oct 4, 2006; got those happy feet

ultrafilter posted:

It'd be a good title for a metal album.

# ? Mar 28, 2024 16:07

Ror: Oct 21, 2010; 😸Everything's 🗞️ purrfect!💯🤟

Transubcarcinization is, according to the teaching of the Catholic Church, "the change of the whole substance of bread into the substance of the Body of Crab and of the whole substance of wine into the substance of the Blood of Crab".

# ? Mar 28, 2024 16:46

Tarkus: Aug 27, 2000

In the twilight of the day, as the air hung heavy with the scent of myrrh and frankincense, the faithful were gathered by the shore of Tiberias, their hearts laden with the burdens of earthly toil. And lo, from the midst of the surging deep, there came forth a marvel, as if the heavens themselves had parted to reveal the glory of the Lord. Upon a mighty beast of the sea, its shell aglow with the crimson of the setting sun, stood Jesus, His countenance serene, a beacon of divine grace. This beast, towering as if two steeds were mounted one atop the other, bore Him to the land with grace, its formidable legs stirring the sands as pillars of smoke.

And Jesus, beholding the astonishment of His flock, spake unto them, 'Fear not the manner of my coming, for all creation bendeth to the will of the Father, who hath dominion over land and sea.' His words, like a balm, soothed the troubled spirits of all who heard, and they marveled at the sight, their hearts aflame with renewed faith. For they perceived in His passage a sign, as if the very scriptures had unfurled before their eyes, a testament to the prophecy that He who commandeth the winds and the waves shall lead His people to salvation.

Tarkus fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Mar 28, 2024

# ? Mar 28, 2024 16:53

Waterbed Wendy: Jan 29, 2009

Omg the new armor for the Holy Crabsades just dropped and I have a feeling someone upstairs is going to be pleased.

# ? Mar 28, 2024 17:07

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

Tarkus posted:

In the twilight of the day, as the air hung heavy with the scent of myrrh and frankincense, the faithful were gathered by the shore of Tiberias, their hearts laden with the burdens of earthly toil. And lo, from the midst of the surging deep, there came forth a marvel, as if the heavens themselves had parted to reveal the glory of the Lord. Upon a mighty beast of the sea, its shell aglow with the crimson of the setting sun, stood Jesus, His countenance serene, a beacon of divine grace. This beast, towering as if two steeds were mounted one atop the other, bore Him to the land with grace, its formidable legs stirring the sands as pillars of smoke.

And Jesus, beholding the astonishment of His flock, spake unto them, 'Fear not the manner of my coming, for all creation bendeth to the will of the Father, who hath dominion over land and sea.' His words, like a balm, soothed the troubled spirits of all who heard, and they marveled at the sight, their hearts aflame with renewed faith. For they perceived in His passage a sign, as if the very scriptures had unfurled before their eyes, a testament to the prophecy that He who commandeth the winds and the waves shall lead His people to salvation.

But they were, all of them, deceived, for another Crab was made. In the sea of Mordor, in the depths of Doom Deep, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master Crab, to control all others. And into this Crab he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life.

# ? Mar 28, 2024 17:10

REMEMBER SPONGE MONKEYS: Oct 3, 2003; What do you think it means, bitch?

Leperflesh posted:

But they were, all of them, deceived, for another Crab was made. In the sea of Mordor, in the depths of Doom Deep, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master Crab, to control all others. And into this Crab he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life.

And the crab, being nature�s most perfect vessel, absorbed it all without a second thought.

I like to think ol� Eternal Jesus there picked the most fitting steed: the eternal Crabulous

And also to snip/snop the unbelievers, obviously.

# ? Mar 28, 2024 17:30

Ror: Oct 21, 2010; 😸Everything's 🗞️ purrfect!💯🤟

Leperflesh posted:

But they were, all of them, deceived, for another Crab was made. In the sea of Mordor, in the depths of Doom Deep, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret a master Crab, to control all others. And into this Crab he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life.

One claw to rule them all, one claw to grip them
One claw to pinch them all and in the ocean snip them

# ? Mar 28, 2024 17:32