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gotta agree with commie and ned here: there is a strong urge in a world of debt and broken families to just....not spend another 10 grand to make sure you pick the giant venue big enough to also feed all the people you don't even have anything in common with but is it good for society? do we need every uncle and every aunt for family to continue to function? do we owe them a place to connect with someone, even if not us? i don't know, and neither does the bottle
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Nov 18, 2017 08:10
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ArbitraryC posted:Kind of cool seeing the flipside of 'we spent almost nothing on our wedding just leveraged favors with friend and family" stories itt. I'm still grateful for the financial support we got from my parents as well as my wife's.
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Nov 18, 2017 08:14
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A lot of people are capable of quid pro quo in good faith. My brother did a lot of personal labor for helping to set up my rehearsal dinner and wedding, and in exchange I paid the tab on all the booze for his wedding. My sister in law took care of our photographer and limo rental costs, and in exchange we covered the catering for her wedding. As Best Man to my friend I made sure the groomsmen got fitted for tuxes and paid for/arranged the Bachelor party, and in return he did the same for me.
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Nov 18, 2017 08:20
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I got married once. My wife's dress was from Dress Barn and her ring was from a pawn shop. We're not married anymore, but that's less to do with the cheapness and more to do with my many other objectionable character traits.
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Nov 18, 2017 08:22
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Nice weddings almost always have bullshit burdens attached to them for the guests. For my husband's brother's wedding we had to go to the other side of the country (where they didn't live, but they just wanted their wedding to be somewhere "special") and rent a hotel for a few nights, which was super fun because I had just started college and was forced to miss some classes because of it. For his sister's wedding they expected us to stay overnight in the hotel where they had it, even though it's less than twenty minutes from were we live, in addition to having "sparkly" outfits for the reception (I got lucky and was able to find a dress on sale that worked though). I told my husband it was straight up horseshit that we were expected to rent a room in the fancy little boutique hotel and incredibly inconsiderate of them to demand it in the first place, because who's going to care for our dog while we are out catering to their whims? Both his siblings sent us wedding invitations that were more or less instruction sheets. That's just so rude, telling people "Okay here's a party and here's a dozen things you need to do or buy for it" When I got married my plan was "make it as easy as possible for everyone involved". No invites, we just emailed everyone, and I didn't give any instructions on what to wear or buy or go. The total price came to 5k, most of which was my dress at 1.7k and the reception, which was at a nice hostel very close to where we had the ceremony at the city hall. The photographer I think was around 600 or so. No DJ, because it was 2013 and Spotify existed.
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Nov 18, 2017 09:00
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Nooner posted:ceremony is 4pm in woodland hills if anyone would like to burst in and shout SOMETHING AWFUL DOT COM I could actually do this but I'm very lazy.
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Nov 18, 2017 09:05
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Drunk Nerds posted:Uhhh, that might be a bigger ripoff than actual wedding venues. 1 donut + 1 coffee per person? $300? And a donuts place rental? How is that dirt cheap? I must be misreading something, correct me, please, I love to be wrong I'd love to rip on Portland and overrated doughnuts, but a venue alone will cost soooo much more than $300. We're renting a space with chairs, tables, playground, waterfront, three ceremony locations (your choice!) separate cabin, and some more stuff in a state park for ~$1,600, and that's cheap.
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Nov 18, 2017 09:17
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Why pay for a wedding? basement locks are very cheap these days
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Nov 18, 2017 09:29
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A buddy of mine is a stage manager for a decent sized music venue, so he just reserved that for himself and opened up the bar. Hes got a lot of friends and most of us like drinkin, so it actually ended up turning a profit. I dont think you can get much cheaper than a profit
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Nov 18, 2017 09:58
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I'm going to a really rich person's wedding tomorrow and I'm going to consume hundreds of dollars worth of fine food and alcohol for free. I'm getting him a steam game as his gift instead of some gay plate.
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Nov 18, 2017 11:03
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Lol at the married. Nothing like those ancient religious traditions... Yeah no one ever says that
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Nov 18, 2017 13:24
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More like nothing like those legal protections that are afforded to married people and not cohabiting couples.
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Nov 18, 2017 13:32
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One of my friends did it perfectly. They went down to the courthouse and got married and paid for an open bar at one of our local bars for friends and immediate family. No stupid cakes, or dresses, or ceremonies, or hours of speeches and mother/father dances. Just drinking, eating, dancing, and friends. That's all anyone cares about at a wedding anyways.
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Nov 18, 2017 14:20
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I have some friends who managed to have a pretty nice wedding for about $5000, most of which was her dress, and they both have pretty large families. No alcohol, but they're religious so I expected that. I was picking their brains later for ideas and based on the things they told me, it was clear that it was more like a $15k wedding, they just offloaded a lot of the costs onto their families: - food prepared by groom's family - venue decorations and cleanup provided by bride's family - A/V stuff provided by friend of groom - ceremony carried out by ordained minister uncle of bride - friends of bride made all the bouquets, etc with flowers provided by mother of bride - rings provided by parents of bride and groom / family heirlooms etc., etc It made me wonder how many people who brag about having had "cheap" weddings actually had weddings that are way more expensive than they seem, they're just not seeing all the extra labor put in by friends and family to help them get married. Honestly, I am in two minds about this. On one hand, leaning on your social world to provide things you would normally pay for can cause people to resent you. On the other hand, it definitely makes a wedding feel more like social bonding, in a sense. Imo a wedding should be to announce to your family and friends "this is my person, this is who I want to be with, and you are the people I choose to share that with". If people have helped you get there, they probably feel more connected to you than if they just showed up to eat snacks in a fancy dress. Still, though, nobody's ever asked me to cater a wedding or arrange 12 bouquets for free so maybe I would change my mind if that were the case.
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Nov 18, 2017 14:24
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Lol if your wedding isn't this. https://youtu.be/NLzT4dT5mfA
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Nov 18, 2017 16:37
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I once went to a baptist wedding. It happened in the church hall. Potluck food, minimal decoration, no alcohol, no dancing. That thing cant have cost much more than the brides dress and tux rental for the groom. It was also boring as gently caress.
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Nov 18, 2017 17:09
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One of the weddings I went to this summer was insane. 300 plus people at the Drake hotel in Chicago. Live band. Open bar. People from Canada, France and Israel, not to metion from all over the USA. And yeah, lots of speeches and dad/daughter/mother/father/son/cousin/rabbi dances and speeches and poo poo. It broke my brain.
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Nov 18, 2017 17:19
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You guys are fools, I'm gonna save so much money dying alone
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Nov 18, 2017 17:49
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Also congrats Nooner 
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Nov 18, 2017 17:49
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Budgeted ~3k for ours because we don't have that much disposable income. Invited 15 people. Got married in the courthouse and went to nice restaurants all weekend. Ended up only spending ~1k of our own money cos all our guests kept slyly paying the servers before we had a chance!!! Inexpensive weddings own, would get married again. A coworker of mine has spent almost 2 solid years planning her wedding, which includes 2 dresses at $5k and $10k a pop. gently caress that poo poo.
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Nov 18, 2017 17:50
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https://twitter.com/Fly_Nashville/status/931263670289608704?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
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Nov 18, 2017 18:01
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ive lived with my girlfriend for so long that we became common law married. it was free
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Nov 18, 2017 18:01
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My wedding had 450ish guests, 6 of them were my side. It was super affordable and we made a fortune off gifts. Consider marriage into a rural rich family from another country that lives in a tourist tow, fellow goons.
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Nov 18, 2017 18:07
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girl pants posted:It made me wonder how many people who brag about having had "cheap" weddings actually had weddings that are way more expensive than they seem, they're just not seeing all the extra labor put in by friends and family to help them get married. See: half the posts in this thread. Offloading $1000 of money into food on your grandma, $2500 worth of photography onto Cousin Cletus, and $3000 worth of venue onto the parking lot behind the Kohl's isn't really having a "cheap" wedding, it's pushing the cost onto other people. Which is fine, but you are utilizing your privilege of nice and helpful people, which not everyone has at their own disposal. Panfilo posted:If people want to have something small scale, cheap and simple that's cool, I don't hold it against them. However, I guess because the wedding industry has gotten so bonkers I've seen the pendulum swing the other way where people get openly hostile to the idea of having a wedding that might have either a lot of people or cost a lot of money. The whole 'bridezilla' thing also reeks of a lot of sexism. While there are definitely some brides that act entitled and/or unreasonable, there are also plenty of situations where the bride has genuine frustrations, but people dismiss it as 'bridezilla' behavior. Women tend to bear the majority of the burden of social planning, and have to deal with a lot of other lazy people that don't want to make any proactive decisions yet piss and moan when the other person takes the initiative. Small weddings can definitely be nice, but even cheap weddings become expensive when you scale up. The best way to have a cheap wedding is to just invite a few people. We invited 150 people to our wedding and wished we could have more, because we wanted to have a huge party for all the important people in our lives. And we had a backyard wedding where we did most of the decorating and stuff ourselves. Still ended up costing $10k. But if you don't care about having a huge party, then yeah, cheap wedding all the way. Get all your friends wasted and bursting with good food. Baronjutter posted:I think of my self as a pretty social person with a large group of friends and acquaintances, yet I think I'd struggle to get past even 50 possible guests for a wedding and that's including extended family. When people talk about their 200+ person weddings who the hell is coming? People you don't even know? Weird long lost aunt-in-laws no one has ever met? Are these huge weddings generally for people who have very large extended families where everyone has 8 aunts and uncles who all had a ton of kids who also have a bunch of kids of their own? Sounds like you don't have much family. We had about 50 people just in close family members - 15 or so on my side, 35 on hers. Then we had another 100 friends we wanted to invite, some from my past, some from hers, and some we met together. Like I said we had to draw a line and not invite some people that I wish I could have.
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Nov 18, 2017 18:21
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My wedding was $100 out of pocket for the event rental and the minister. We had about 70 people come (my best guess). Everything else was spread out between family members (food, chairs, tables, decorating, etc.) My grandma bought me a suit and my mother-in-law made my wife's dress and the bridesmaids dresses. My other grandmother and great aunt did most of the cooking in the kitchen at the venue, my aunt made the cake (she does wedding cakes as a side job), My uncles handled the booze (in the parking lot, we couldn't afford the insurance for inside). My family and family friends were the band for the dance. It was fun and, in the end, my wife and I made money on the deal with the gifts. The cost for the wedding was so spread out that no-one that helped out was out more than 20 or 30 bucks. The honeymoon was the 120 mile trip back to college in separate cars.. After 18 years, my wife still hates it.
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Nov 18, 2017 20:54
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mostlygray posted:Cheap wedding Take your wife on a nice honeymoon ya dingus. 100% agree with whoever said the bridezilla trope was sexist. Women behaving badly are a poor reflection on women everywhere and indicative of women's low moral character. Men behaving badly are just jerks. Also, the site etiquette hell has some pretty wild stories about poor behavior and bad weddings. http://www.etiquettehell.com/archive_index.shtml
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Nov 18, 2017 21:05
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You can also have a little of both- we spent 20k total on our wedding, but it was because we wanted live music and ended up getting a band fish did both English and Spanish cover songs. This was a huge hit for everyone since you'd get people on the dance floor enjoying songs gnash already like. There was also a mariachi band that played during the wedding ceremony and during dinner; I'd say about half the total cost of our wedding was providing live music. Then there's the fact that it's hard to find an indoor venue for 250 people plus room for dancing in the bay Area, and many of the ones that are big enough require you do catering through them (simpler but also more expensive overall). In contrast, my wife only spent $300 on her dress, the cake was $400 for a seven tier cake that was an exact copy of a cake that cost some other sucker 5x as much, catering was only $9 a plate, flowers were purchased from a wholesaler and my wife/her sisters did all the arrangements themselves, booze was courtesy of Costco.
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Nov 18, 2017 22:12
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My wife bought the first dress for like 900$, then she bought another for about the same a few month later. They dont return dresses I guess. Pissed me off as it was a lot of money at the time. I shouldve seen the next 25 years coming, but I still love her. Keep the engagement short tho.
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Nov 18, 2017 22:24
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Burt Sexual posted:My wife bought the first dress for like 900$, then she bought another for about the same a few month later. They don’t return dresses I guess. Pissed me off as it was a lot of money at the time. I should’ve seen the next 25 years coming, but I still love her. Keep the engagement short tho.
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Nov 18, 2017 23:38
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Burt Sexual posted:My wife bought the first dress for like 900$, then she bought another for about the same a few month later. They dont return dresses I guess. Pissed me off as it was a lot of money at the time. I shouldve seen the next 25 years coming, but I still love her. Keep the engagement short tho. I love that you still love her. That's legit wonderful. Lucky you.
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Nov 18, 2017 23:42
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Japan doesn't require a ceremony, just paperwork at city hall. Therefore, ceremonies don't require a real priest/monk/shaman. You can actually do Fake Gaijin Priest as a real job. Even rural areas still have part-time fake gaijin priest work. (Usually $100/ceremony. The lol part is that they usually want you to do it in Japanese anyway.) I'm not tall or male enough to be an appealing fake gaijin priest, and I also don't want to lose my weekends.
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Nov 18, 2017 23:42
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I was very lucky. I married a doctor's only daughter, so our wedding had lots of extras. Still, if it saves face for me, our theme was "every guest has a great time," so a lot of those extras were open bar, table beer service, private reception afterparty villa (there was a naked makeout session in the hot tub), and places for any guest to crash if they had too much to drink to drive. Any suggestion how I can repay my father in law? Or is that impossible. I gave him two grandsons, so maybe that's a start.
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Nov 18, 2017 23:46
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Nooner posted:ceremony is 4pm in woodland hills if anyone would like to burst in and shout SOMETHING AWFUL DOT COM Few pages late but god drat it nooner I totally would have drunkenly crashed your wedding if it was a week later. They ceremony should be happening as I post this but hope its good.
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Nov 18, 2017 23:48
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Drunk Nerds posted:I was very lucky. I married a doctor's only daughter, so our wedding had lots of extras. Still, if it saves face for me, our theme was "every guest has a great time," so a lot of those extras were open bar, table beer service, private reception afterparty villa (there was a naked makeout session in the hot tub), and places for any guest to crash if they had too much to drink to drive. pinch his nose and say 'meep meep
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Nov 18, 2017 23:49
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Burt Sexual posted:Keep the engagement short tho. I wish I'd have thought of this before planning my not at all cheap wedding... Fought like hell to keep costs down (we were both broke and driving 15+ year old cars) but she cut me out of the planning to hide: ~$3500 on dress and alterations from a bridal shop with dingy brown carpet and stained acoustic ceiling tiles $2500+ on a mall kiosk jewelry store ring wrap, after insisting that she just wanted a plain solitare engagement ring $1000+ on a baker for a 'picture' cake, sheet cakes, and botique cupcakes. The sample cupcakes tasted like rear end and a friend who has done award winning cake decor offered to do the cake for free as a gift, but nope. $1000+ on photography and video package, despite every guest having a camera on their phone and at least five guests having DSLRs and offering to shoot candids all night with 'studio' shots at our convenience. ~$1000 on a DJ / Emcee service even though I had a full PA system and lighting rig. I wanted to hire a college kid string quartet to play dinner music, but that idea got shot right down. Cost unknown on a rental 'getaway' sports car, to get away from a reception hall three minutes from the house. I guess we were saving money by having a dry reception, due to inviting recovering alcoholic family on her side whom I'd never met in seven years together even though they're 1.5 hours away. Even planning for ceremony and reception in same cheap venue, doing all the decor and invitations ourselves, and leaning heavily on potluck food, we were easily over $10k with no travel. Needless to say, it didn't work out. Congrats Nooner!
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Nov 19, 2017 02:02
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Spinster posted:I love that you still love her. That's legit wonderful. Lucky you. Iam
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Nov 19, 2017 02:03
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I'm not gonna lie my weddng was cheap and I think it was pretty fuckin bomber. Roasted a hog, got some moonshine, set up the yard. Ate mushrooms with the party animals at midnight. They should all be like that. Oh yeah we had a string band for three hours too but it was like $300 Rationale fucked around with this message at 02:12 on Nov 19, 2017 |
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Nov 19, 2017 02:09
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Entangled posted:$1000+ on photography and video package, despite every guest having a camera on their phone and at least five guests having DSLRs and offering to shoot candids all night with 'studio' shots at our convenience. $1000 is not nearly enough for a quality professional video/photography service for a wedding, unless you're talking about a wedding like 20 years ago. At that price point you're right in that you'd be better off just skipping it and asking a friend instead.
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Nov 19, 2017 02:22
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Drunk Tomato posted:$1000 is not nearly enough for a quality professional video/photography service for a wedding, unless you're talking about a wedding like 20 years ago. At that price point you're right in that you'd be better off just skipping it and asking a friend instead. Whatd you pay?
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Nov 19, 2017 02:33
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Drunk Tomato posted:$1000 is not nearly enough for a quality professional video/photography service for a wedding, unless you're talking about a wedding like 20 years ago. At that price point you're right in that you'd be better off just skipping it and asking a friend instead. I'm guessing that was the minimum to get a 'professional' with a Rebel and the kit lens to show up for the evening, but the receipts left behind when she moved out didn't give much detail.
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Nov 19, 2017 02:49
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