Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Well, at least it would be hard to make a movie worse than Jurassic World, right... right?

# ¿ Dec 4, 2017 16:36

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 18:43

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

SirDrone posted:

I legit must be the only one who thinks Lost World is an underrated movie and the Alien 3 of Jurassic Park.

I agree, like Alien 3 Jurassic World is a much better movie if you just imagine it was a totally different movie.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2017 16:04

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Inescapable Duck posted:

I think I see your point.

Does make me wonder, how could Jurassic World be done properly?

My idea: It could have never been made.

# ¿ Dec 6, 2017 13:54

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Yeah it�s kind of brilliant that everyone gets stranded at the T-Rex paddock because their badass dinosaur safari vehicles are actually just electric jeeps running along an automated circuit. Chricton got a lot of stuff wrong but what he 100% nailed in JP was the commoditization of science for tacky entertainment. Jurassic World completely misses the mark by suggesting that the park wasn�t doomed from the start and would have worked perfectly fine if not for one meddlesome Dino.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2017 13:51

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

The failure of Jurassic Park the First was set up well by the story. It's true that Dennis Nedry was the catalyst who shut down all the security systems, but he was first seduced by a rival corporation because he was an overworked, underpaid techie expected to run a billion-dollar zoo with minimal staff. Despite Hammond's infamous "spare no expense" catchphrase it's made obvious that the park was cutting corners at every possible step to avoid paying its workers. Dr. Wu barely knew the names of the creatures he was making, JP's own doctors had no understanding of dinosaur biology and what could be making them sick out in the wild, InGen's own DNA samples were misspelled, their luxury helicopters didn't even have functional seatbelts, the raptors can't even be shown to the public because they're vicious homicidal monsters yet they keep making them, the list goes on and on. All of these little moments cumulatively set up the idea in the viewer's mind that this park is not the impossible wonderland it purports to be, such that Nedry's betrayal is not some shock turncoat moment but the inevitable result of corporate culture that values the commoditization of science over stability.

Compare this against Jurassic World where everything is shown to be operating profitably and successfully until one, isolated cascade of failures brought on by the Big Bad Dino, which stretch the limits of plausibility and makes everyone involved look like those idiots in the black & white portions of made-for-TV ads who dump a cabinet full of cookware onto their heads.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2017 17:21

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

The Island of Doctor Wu would have been a genuinely good setup for a new Jurassic series instead of what we got.

# ¿ Dec 15, 2017 10:00

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

They tried to do the same thing as Jurassic Park but completely failed in the setup. The series of events required for the big bad dino to escape and all hell to break loose, including a literal "duh where'd he go?" headscratching moment on behalf of our lead, is so contrived that it makes everybody involved look like gigantic idiots. There's no hubris involved and therefore no drama, just a group of idiots taking the most idiotic action at each possible moment. It defies belief how any of these characters tie their own shoes in the morning, let alone operate a futuristic dino park that apparently has been going on without incident until this one fateful day. Jurassic World is pretty much Final Destination with dinosaurs except the audience doesn't even get the gratification of seeing most of the cast killed for their stupidity.

# ¿ Dec 17, 2017 14:07

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

achillesforever6 posted:

One of favorite reactions to the Jurassic World trailers has been the rant from friend Dr. Matt Lamanna who is the curator of Paleontology at the Carnegie Museum who was doing a Q&A after a screening of JP for a 21 & over event at the museum. (lot of great not dumb drunk questions too). He was really upset that finally a Jurassic Park movie showcases one of his favorite dinosaurs, Carnotaurus, and it is immediately killed by the T. Rex; mainly because his goal in life as a paleontologist (other than going to the Bahariya Oasis to find another Spinosaurus specimen just like Stromer) has been trying to get the public interested in Southern Continent dinosaurs (which is why he's mostly goes on expeditions in Antarctica, Northern Africa, and Patagonia).

Anyway this movie is going to be poo poo and the only reason I'm glad these Jurassic World movies exist is that they were successful enough to get an upscaled Jurassic Park Operation Genesis made with Jeff Goldblum narration.

Yeah the new game looks awesome. This movie, not so much.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 13:01

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

The Island of Dr. Wu could have made for an interesting premise in the flights of your imagination, which are undoubtedly better written and composed than these megabad new Jurassic Park movies.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 22:44

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Only 9 days left (until the extremely cool-looking Jurassic World parksim)!

# ¿ Jun 3, 2018 11:47

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Colin Trevorrow is a bad filmmaker.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2018 00:25

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Seeing the Book of Henry last year and everything Trevorrow had to say about it should eliminate all benefit of the doubt. He is just enormously untalented and tone deaf as a filmmaker. And not even in an interesting way.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2018 10:00

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Everybody shorthands the talking dream raptor on the plane as the lowpoint of the series and I�m always like what are you smoking, that�s the best scene in the movie.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2018 21:01

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Spielberg literally phoned in most of the Lost World and it still managed to be more visually interesting than any JP sequel.

# ¿ Jun 9, 2018 20:55

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

[in Luke Skywalker voice, except he's a velociraptor] It is time for the Jurassic Parks... to end.

# ¿ Jun 25, 2018 14:53

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Jacob's Ladder except instead of a Vietnam vet hallucinating through a nightmarish purgatory of creatures from Hell, it's genetically enhanced dinosaurs.

# ¿ Jun 26, 2018 19:32

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

LesterGroans posted:

What are the actual success stories of white male indie directors being tapped for big budget studio films recently? Trevorrow crashed and burned, even though Jurassic World made all the money. Josh Trank got tossed aside.

The You, Me and Dupree dudes who do the MCU movies are the winners, for sure.

Impossibly huge productions like these don't want actual directors with a vision, they just want somebody they can easily push around. The only thing remarkable about Trevorrow is how supremely untalented he is in basically every single aspect of filmmaking.

# ¿ Jul 1, 2018 11:26

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Jurassic Park begins with a worker getting killed by a velociraptor, I think Arnold is pretty justified in saying it could have gone a lot worse.

# ¿ Jul 2, 2018 17:28

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Blue should have hit the big red button at the end, she's the most well-developed character in this accursed series.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2018 13:48

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

Martman posted:

I thought Jurassic Park was intentionally about artifice and how audiences essentially created the monsters by imagining them to be evil lizards instead of goofy birds. Isn't that kind of a crucial plot point?

That's played up more in Crichton's book. Wu wanted to engineer the dinosaurs to be docile and stupid but Hammond kept pushing for more aggressive species because he thought the spectacle would put more asses in seats. This angle changed somewhat when Hammond's character was rewritten in the film to be more sympathetic. In that version it would be more accurate to say that Jurassic Park operated under the guise of cutting-edge science but in reality cut corners all over the place to get the product out as fast as they could. Before they even knew what they had, they patented it, and packaged it, and uh slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now you�re selling it, you want to sell it, well.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2018 13:04

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

You see brief glimpses of how those themes could have worked in Jurassic World but ultimately the script was too dumb to fully commit.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2018 13:26

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

They could have run with that concept and had the JW board of directors intentionally sabotage the security because a couple visitor deaths here and there would increase their bottom line and bring thrillseekers back to the park, even after a couple lawsuits. Imagine our heroes happening upon some freshly pressed "I survived Jurassic World!" t-shirts ready to be packaged and sold.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2018 14:05

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

In the book Muldoon blows up one of the raptors with a rocket launcher, which makes you wonder why if inGen thought protecting their million-dollar dinos was so important they'd also commission weapons to destroy them in such a tantalizingly awesome way.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2018 12:31

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 18:43

exquisite tea: Apr 21, 2007; Carly shook her glass, willing the ice to melt. "You still haven't told me what the mission is."

She leaned forward. "We are going to assassinate the bad men of Hollywood."

The Lost World arcade game was awesome but very frustrating because the gun controls often wouldn't calibrate properly.

# ¿ Jul 19, 2018 15:10

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom