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sorry to invade the thread with a stupid question but i can easily see google leading me to the wrong answers i know what the "ia" in lgbtqia+ stand for, but beyond the strict english definition what do those actually mean?
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Dec 7, 2017 00:11
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cis autodrag posted:are people actually offended by "dude" or "guys"? idgaf about that poo poo and I assumed outrage about it was just a conservative strawman. With girl friends in casual conversation i'll often phrase a sentence like "man what game were you watching that was clearly slashing, the ref is blind" and no one's ever said anything but I've always been vaguely worried I'm doing a Wrong or if that's just nature of the language or what I think if I ever had a casual conversation with someone I knew to be transgender I would trip on my tongue a ridiculous amount of times and outright die of shame 
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Dec 10, 2017 05:37
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i dunno about dysphoria in my case or whatever, but it is something i scratch my head about once in a while. usually I conclude almost immediately that i'm just fat, unhealthy and pretty ugly besides (a goon, in other words). like lord knows i hate my body and appearance but that's mostly my fault suppose if I had to pin it on a scale I'm 99.9% sure i'm heterosexual (i'd say 100% but certainty is a lie in tyool 2017) and like... 97% sure i'm cisgendered? idk just vague 'what if i were a different, possibly better or at least better looking, person' musings probably and nothing to do with the queer thread at all, sorry
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Dec 11, 2017 19:43
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FAT32 SHAMER posted:Facial hair sucks and as a cishet i would totally do it so i stop having to shave every goddamn day i barely have to shave twice a week--lovely hair growing genes i guess--but even so very very 
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Dec 11, 2017 19:45
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UberJew posted:the q stands for questioning too i guess it's not impossible, lord knows nothing is in 2017 the Year of President of the United States of America Donald "Grab 'em by the pussy" Trump but the simpler answer for me just seems to be that i'm 300# and it's my own drat fault for not taking care of myself or letting myself fall off the wagon when i tried (or getting unlucky genetics, maybe, but that feels like shifting blame) i know one thing for sure though and that's that body hair is loving gross and i'd laser every last bit of it off if i could get away with it Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 00:15 on Dec 13, 2017 |
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Dec 13, 2017 00:10
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like i imagine shaving the peach fuzz off of my arms and hands, then th ink about being asked by people at work (or, oh god, family) why I did that and I shudder massively i outright envy the inner strength, fortitude, force of will, whatever, all of you who are openly trans must have, to declare it openly and continue with it in the face of, well, everything
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Dec 13, 2017 00:21
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cis autodrag posted:OK, in your own best interest I think we should cut this avenue of discussion. You have a lot of different thoughts you are dealing with and you need a professional to help you work through this. I don't want this thread to play amateur psychologist to your detriment. If you need help figuring out how to find a mental health provider who you're comfortable with with feel free to ask though. yeah, good point, sorry. i forget where i'm posting and who i'm talking to sometimes v  v
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Dec 13, 2017 00:25
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y'all talked earlier about laser and electrolytic hair removal, did any particular physicans or other medical pros do/refer those or did y'all track down a local business or similar i see local places like simplicity laser and while i can't point out anything specific my scamalarm is (maybe falsely) going off
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Dec 16, 2017 03:12
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It was more their business model, the site says they charge $200 for six sessions for a Brazilian but you have to call them to find out you have to join their monthly membership thing after that, that they won't quote me a price for without coming in  So I wondered if it was more supposed to be a hospital or dermatologist thing i guess (e) but i guess google says that sort of thing is fairly common so nevermind 
Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 03:44 on Dec 16, 2017 |
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Dec 16, 2017 03:31
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i mean sure light is light i thought there was a hard line of frequency/wavelength (like somewhere in UV) where it goes from 'safe, probably' to 'u ded m8' depending on intensity, but my last physics course was a decade ago i suppose you could kinda sorta call that 'different types'?? (in the distance more violent eyebrow twitching is heard) Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 05:53 on Dec 16, 2017 |
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Dec 16, 2017 05:47
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fishmech posted:ey if you can afford it there are home laser devices for hair removal these days that actually work. However they do tend to require a tighter tolerance on the skin tone/hair tone thing then a clinic might, so if you were on the borderline before for effectiveness you might skip it altogether. interesting, i thought those were still scams like those commercials for muscle relief via pulsing lights i'd have to ask an expert but i think i'm borderline anyway--i'm light skinned and dark haired which is good but 90% of my body hair is quite thin and sparse/spaced out, i heard it works better on coarse and thick hair Symbolic Butt posted:holy poo poo how did I not know Brazilian Butt Augmentation was a thing i know it was fully intentional but i still laughed at the user/av/post combo, thanks 
Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 19:48 on Dec 16, 2017 |
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Dec 16, 2017 19:45
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today i got caught up on some required work training, one of them was a 45 minute course on workplace harassment. there was a video module on transgender people, alongside but distinct from the rest of the sexual alphabet soup idk if that's interesting news for anyone or particularly uncommon anymore, but seeing it in my workplace--heavily right leaning, us military/govt contractor--was surprising and nice
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Dec 28, 2017 01:24
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i've said it myself but only in the context of a Back In My Day  /   bit
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Jan 9, 2018 00:12
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glad the surgery went ok  rest well
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Jan 13, 2018 04:21
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Shifty Pony posted:yeah same. I was trying to make another boob joke but more important that you feel good soon. i'll be honest so was i but i came up empty 
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Jan 13, 2018 04:31
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curious, did they leave any surgical drains or ports behind to take out later? i had one for a few days when they took my cancer-ridden (ok stage 1 but still) thyroid out. itched like a bastard.
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Jan 13, 2018 07:54
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it amuses me that 'phone autocomplete English' is practically a real language you have to learn to read
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Jan 14, 2018 00:17
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i always thought surgical scars look really cool once they heal, personally maybe i'm just weird and trying to justify the slash across the bottom of my neck
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Jan 14, 2018 03:17
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does gender dysphoria fall on a scale or is there a very clear line of demarcation between cis and trans? ive said before i'm 99 point whatever percent sure i'm cisgendered and i don't want to offend anyone by pondering a probable nonconcern. that said, i asked myself that hypothetical "why wouldn't you want to present as a woman instead of as a man" question and my only immediate answer is social rather than physical (that being that a software dev or other computer toucher is very very male dominated and sucks for women in a lot of ways before trans vs cis even enters the equation). as far as physicality or emotion goes, i can only respond to the question with sheer ambivalence (it's probably badly conflated by my morbid obesity, mind you)
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Jan 16, 2018 21:29
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UberJew posted:my obsession with ranmna 1/2 as a tween in the nineties made a whooooooooole lot more sense after i came out to myself lol i forgot about that show and how much i loved watching it as a kid (e) i wonder if it was/is actually any good or if i'm being all rose tinted Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 04:55 on Jan 17, 2018 |
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Jan 17, 2018 04:14
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another question i should probably be directing at my therapist rather than The Internet (but drat me working with a therapist without insurance is expensive and i don't want to take up any more time than necessary on anything but giving the old sadbrains the boot) say a person fantasizes about being or wishes they were the other gender, but doesn't feel bad or stressed or whatever about their biological gender (sex? did i mix that up). to you all does that run counter to the definition of being transgender or dysthymic, and into the realm of simple fantasy/dreams, or what Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 04:34 on Jan 17, 2018 |
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Jan 17, 2018 04:30
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UberJew posted:like if you look at all the poo poo trans women get and how that would negatively impact your life, your safety, your career and possibly your relationships, and that's still something you want and would prefer? i'm not gonna tell you you're a girl buuuuuuuuuut i suppose for me that that's where the buck stops, selfish as it is with all concerns besides my physicality discarded, the question of whether i'd prefer being a woman instead of a man is one that i have to admit to myself is an open one (the problem of being immensely fat has to go away first) but add in the fearful trappings of actually doing so--including the drop dead certainty that at least one member of my family would never speak to me again and i'd be cut off from my nephew as a result--and my answer rapidly becomes a nope nope nope hell the gently caress no, especially since having the body of a guy is as near as i can tell not actually upsetting me (again though, still an open question if that relates to my MDD, and not one The Internet can answer) i feel like a jerk for thinking of it in those terms--that women and especially transwomen get the goddamn shaft in my social circles and that therefore for sake of my own happiness i should not pursue this line of questioning--but there you go, soul bared i guess
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Jan 17, 2018 04:50
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tl;dr physically being/presenting as a girl'd maybe possibly be nice, open question, but socially that is absolutely terrifying (hell even being a ciswoman is slightly ) and i think you are a thoroughly courageous lot to openly go through with and declare it right that's enough vaguely depressing introspection for one night, time to get high as hell and play video games
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Jan 17, 2018 04:53
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fishmech posted:a lot of people in bad situations stop even believing in a future beyond the immediate next day or week. No long term goals anymore stuff like that. If they keep this up too long its like, as one friend said "I thought I would be dead by 25 but now I'm 29 and have no idea what to do besides get through the next day" i'm not krakox but that sentence hit me so hard that i'm pretty sure if it weren't for the weed in my veins right now i'd be having another goddamn breakdown which bodes extremely ill for work tomorrow i tell you what
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Jan 18, 2018 08:29
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fishmech posted:yes and so have several people i know i wonder how this thing compares to waxing less out of gender / queer concerns and more a visceral hatred of body hair i think, but anyway i'd considered going to a salon and getting parts of me legs waxed, see how it looks, 'cos shaving... works but looks kind of rubbish and porous even immediately, let alone when the stubble runs in (e) i've never been blessed with dense coarse hair so i dunno how well laser would even work, maybe a pic of me leg or hand is in order tonight Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 01:06 on Jan 26, 2018 |
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Jan 26, 2018 01:03
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i know it's a teen cartoon but the logic part of me brain is  ing out watching this that's not how energy works aaaaaaaaa
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Jan 26, 2018 01:03
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ate all the Oreos posted:go get a home waxing kit and try it yourself, if you're just doing your legs it's an easy and fun way to self-harm at home i've considered having a brazilian done (that's what it's called right, like hell i'm googling that at work) because again body hair is yeeurrrchhhhhhh that might be tmi even for this thread tho  but yeah i guess mucking about with a home kit on my upper leg or something won't hurt nothin'
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Jan 26, 2018 01:09
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actually forgot I have my phone with me for once. here's an unshaved part of my hand. my legs are pretty similar. think that laser would work?
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Jan 26, 2018 01:27
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so waxing a small part might be a good litmus test, assuming my hair is suitable for lasering anyway (which it looks like it might be). thanks folks
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Jan 26, 2018 03:05
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actually bought a cheap little wax kit on the way home from work and tried it on a couple small areas that i know from experience are sensitive. it stung, and i imagine having it done repeatedly would be pretty bloody annoying, but actually "hurt"? nah, guess i lucked out on the pain threshold front i like the look of it a lot though. think i might take a splash on that tria thing, got a bonus recently and they sell em at a nearby Ulta. (probably not the first cisgendered dude to buy one but hah that'll still be awkward)
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Jan 26, 2018 03:42
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ultravoices posted:no one cares. and so what if they do, they aren't paying your bills. i know but being worried about being awkward is like my raison d'etre, if i weren't i'd literally pop out of existence like god in the hitchhiker's guide
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Jan 26, 2018 03:50
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jerks didn't have the drat thing anyway despite saying they did on the phone. guess Amazon gets my money instead
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Jan 26, 2018 04:20
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while i'm feeling introspective pre-caffeine i wanna say thanks to cis autodrag and everyone else itt for all the information and generally being an encouraging bunch. wouldn't expect that on sa let alone in a "fyad lite" dedicated to computer nerds/touchers even if i'm not trans--pretty sure i'm ok with being/presenting as a dude, despite hating body hair, yuck--it's at least been enlightening to think more consciously of, well, what i think about myself, and it has more certainly been eye opening to have both the day to day and long term problems y'all face spelled out to me so thanks for that
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Jan 26, 2018 18:30
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also special thanks to cis autodrag for the animorphs reference
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Jan 26, 2018 18:30
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the yeerk pool thing I meant or did I miss another reference
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Jan 26, 2018 19:03
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cis autodrag posted:Lol, oh yeah. I thought you were talking about my last post. oops. one of those weird mental hangups of mine, i always get worried when i think a joke or reference or whatever has just whooshed right over my head you're starting to feel better, I hope?
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Jan 26, 2018 22:29
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apologies for continuing the laser hair removal derail but i got my tria 4x this morning predictably i was dead wrong about wax being a good litmus, i peaked at 3 out of 5 on the power setting before i kept flinching from the snap it's such a brief snap though that i kept losing track of where i was so despite 400 pulses between both my upper legs i'm confident i didn't do a good job oh well, see how it reacts over the next few months of biweekly zaps i suppose, spent $500 on this drat thing and I'm gonna use it!!! (e) maybe i shoulda put on some aloe vera or something first but the instructions said dry skin Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 20:50 on Jan 27, 2018 |
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Jan 27, 2018 20:33
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Improbable Lobster posted:aww, legalization will be a month too late look on the bright side, it's still in your future
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Jan 28, 2018 04:11
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Sagebrush posted:Earnest question: all these situations are talking about people who began presenting as their proper gender at some point in the past, before starting the job, right? Not people who were Emma before the Christmas break and then came back in January as Edgar? I had a similar situation at work last year, fellow formerly named Charlie came back after xmas break as Charlotte and because she works at a different office I only found out because my team lead at the time (who is openly gay by the way) took a few of us aside and said 'it's not Charlie, it's Charlotte, and it's not he, it's she' So I kind of assume just rolling with she and Charlotte and so on when calling her because the drat dev server broke again (loving Sun SPARC boxes, oh my god) was the right thing to do despite not being explicitly told by her? But to me the whole thing of how to talk to trans folks without (accidentally, I assure you) being a total wiener is still a head scratcher once in a while (ed: I mean the not-so-out folks, it's rather obvious otherwise I suppose) Ciaphas fucked around with this message at 21:51 on Jan 31, 2018 |
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Jan 31, 2018 21:47
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cis autodrag posted:Lol. I kinda wonder what they are now, but I don't think it's worth the potential hip injury to find out. I'm a yoga girl these days. squats were like the one thing i felt was sort of "fun" at the gym. not so much deadlifts but i'm not sure i ever managed to get the right form on those anyway all consuming self consciousness has kept me out of the gym for over a year and a half now though even then my pr for squat was only 155, which being a 300# dude is kinda sad, so i bet now if i tried i wouldn't even break 100 with good form
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Feb 5, 2018 19:47
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