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Oh my God my wife and I are like ten minutes into this and even just the soundtrack is making me want to slit my own throat.
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Dec 17, 2017 17:55
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Neo Rasa posted:Oh my God my wife and I are like ten minutes into this and even just the soundtrack is making me want to slit my own throat. I am watching "christmas inheritance" and it is one of the most boring movies I've ever watched and the woman has an urban boyfriend and a rural boyfriend and the urban boyfriend is black and bad and the rural boyfriend is white and good.
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Dec 17, 2017 18:06
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LMAO props to the location shooting folks never filming the ground when they're near Radio City so we don't see the homeless people. Oh my lord this press conference scene.
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Dec 17, 2017 18:07
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This is the swap.avi of Christmas cinema.
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Dec 17, 2017 18:21
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Dec 17, 2017 18:27
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Sarah Douglas and the girl that plays the princess are like lightyears beyond anyone else in this movie acting-wise, it's noticeable. Also  the line about the dungeon, even she almost couldn't get it out with a straight face.
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Dec 17, 2017 18:27
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 These same producers have been going to this same castle in Romania and making this same movie every few years. What a career.
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Dec 17, 2017 18:30
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Listen I just started Christmas Prince and I don't know what you guys are talking about this is fine. This is about mannequins that came to life and started their own society right?
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Dec 17, 2017 22:03
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Neo Rasa posted:
The Adam Sandler strategy I noticed even Hotel Teansylvania 3 is about dracula going on a tropical vacation, lmfao
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Dec 17, 2017 22:19
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Spirit of Christmas is the best.
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Dec 18, 2017 00:49
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I've been to that castle and I only kissed an archduke this is bullshit
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Dec 18, 2017 01:22
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Well, now I gotta watch that one
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Dec 18, 2017 02:04
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vaginadeathgrip posted:Well, now I gotta watch that one That description is way funnier than the movie is. His curse is that he's not a ghost 12 days a year so they don't have to spend much money on ghost effects
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Dec 18, 2017 02:08
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Owlofcreamcheese posted:That description is way funnier than the movie is. His curse is that he's not a ghost 12 days a year so they don't have to spend much money on ghost effects yea I love the 'my curse is I'm normal for like a week' trope because I've literally never seen it used except to cover for 'we want a ghost, but whoooie we can't spend ghost money'
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Dec 18, 2017 05:28
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I've probably seen A Christmas Kiss like a dozen times. My wife loves white noise holiday movies.
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Dec 18, 2017 06:04
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MasterSlowPoke posted:I've probably seen A Christmas Kiss like a dozen times. My wife loves white noise holiday movies. 
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Dec 18, 2017 06:18
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My favourite character is the disabled Princess. Who isn't in line for the throne because she has both spina bifida and a vagina. This monarchy is the greatest.
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Dec 18, 2017 14:31
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MorgaineDax posted:My favourite character is the disabled Princess. something something, all her problems are cervical.
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Dec 18, 2017 15:40
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Play “The Christmas Lodge” drinking game. Take a drink every time they say the words “Christmas Lodge” in the movie. You’ll be so wasted by the end of the movie you might not realize how abnormally sexless the whole romance is...even for a Hallmark Christmas movie.
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Dec 19, 2017 17:04
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FactsAreUseless posted:Spoiler: The ending to How Sarah Got Her Wings makes no sense on a lot of levels, and she steals a dog 1. from heaven and 2. from a homeless guy I know that guy who owned the bar said he died of a stroke. but he died of a stroke right after she todl him that his wife was waiting for him in heaven and couldn't wait to see him. Then he died the next night? She totally convinced a dude to off himself, and I thought thats why she wouldn't get into heaven. Next, is her ex and his current girlfriend just going to drift apart over the next two christmases? She fixed their relationship and then went back in time. Is her ex not going to get his bar? Is that dude not going to off himself? (maybe that is the only good part).
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Dec 19, 2017 17:32
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I’m not sure if I was just terrible at paying attention, but the ending is very confusing. So.. the curse is broken and he gets to be around longer than 12 days? Is he no longer confined to property lines? Is he still dead but now they can bang all of the time? Or is he alive?
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Dec 20, 2017 04:48
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vaginadeathgrip posted:I’m not sure if I was just terrible at paying attention, but the ending is very confusing. So.. the curse is broken and he gets to be around longer than 12 days? Is he no longer confined to property lines? Is he still dead but now they can bang all of the time? Or is he alive? I am sure the answer is "don't think too hard about it" but he broke the curse and then rejected being lead to heaven by his wife. So I guess he's like the dog from all dogs go to heaven that stole his own clock. He has no curse on him now, he was an alive ghost so he's still alive, and he rejected heaven and his wife. So I guess he just wanders the earth till judgement day or some second never to be made movie where he realizes his place is with his wife and child and not some woman he hates for 90% of the movie he met two weeks ago.
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Dec 20, 2017 19:20
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I am now watching “my Santa” about Santa’s sexy son who can not unlock his true power until he mates with a human woman.
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Dec 21, 2017 01:02
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In the past week I've seen on the tv guide the christmas prince, her christmas prince, christmas prince, and the christmas princess. I do believe they were also all on the same channel.
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Dec 21, 2017 03:25
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They're also all filmed in the same castle.
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Dec 21, 2017 03:32
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I had no idea that there were a) so many awful Christmas movies and b) that I would have to watch them all.
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Dec 21, 2017 05:29
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I just watched the Marriage Counselor (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYZKfLqw0Ig) because of this thread and while there's a lot of good-badness to love, I think my favorite is the end where the mean lady reveals she was impregnated by her ex to spite her husband and then her husband admits to MURDERING the ex in a fit of rage and then tries to hit his wife and then it smash cuts to a shot of two turtle statues humping and the movie ends with the marriage counselors laughing about a lawsuit from a different couple unseen in the film. Roll loving credits. 
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Dec 21, 2017 13:12
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mary had a little clam posted:I just watched the Marriage Counselor (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYZKfLqw0Ig) because of this thread and while there's a lot of good-badness to love, I think my favorite is the end where the mean lady reveals she was impregnated by her ex to spite her husband and then her husband admits to MURDERING the ex in a fit of rage and then tries to hit his wife and then it smash cuts to a shot of two turtle statues humping and the movie ends with the marriage counselors laughing about a lawsuit from a different couple unseen in the film. Roll loving credits.
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Dec 21, 2017 15:51
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FactsAreUseless posted:It's "The Marriage Chronicles" and it is one of the greatest films ever made. I'm so glad someone finally took my recommendation and watched it. I can't recommend it enough. Everyone else, please do not click that spoiler, you need to watch the movie fresh. Agreed - the ending is your reward for investing even a little interest in this fantastic flick. On a Good-Bad Movie breakdown, I give this a .75 Wiseau / .25 Breen - funny more for its inhuman writing than for any technical mistakes. It was a total pleasure, thank you for the recommendation!
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Dec 21, 2017 19:16
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My wife and I have now worked our way through Christmas Prince and Christmas Inheritance and, well, thank you for this incredible gift, thread hahahah Just started the Spirit of Christmas and i’m loving the lighting and camera work of re-enactment portions of TV documentaries brought do best for a feature film lmao
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Dec 22, 2017 02:46
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I just realized the title "How Sarah Got Her Wings" is straight-up a lie. That's not what it's about. You lied to me, Hallmark.
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Dec 22, 2017 05:01
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSzytvDsPfo
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Dec 22, 2017 05:01
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FactsAreUseless posted:I just realized the title "How Sarah Got Her Wings" is straight-up a lie. That's not what it's about. You lied to me, Hallmark. Yeah! Also do all churches have a storage room for the homeless?
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Dec 22, 2017 07:30
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Now I am watching evergreen christmas. It is the most republican movie ever made. Not even conservative, just republican. Like the main characters are the descendants of Robert E Lee and the problem is that the "estate tax" somehow means they owe millions of dollars they can't pay. On the other hand a family forcibly adopts(?) a girl because her dad won't let her date illegal immigrants and also a donkey is implied to be jesus and saves the day.
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Dec 23, 2017 19:00
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Owlofcreamcheese posted:Now I am watching evergreen christmas. It is the most republican movie ever made. Not even conservative, just republican. Like the main characters are the descendants of Robert E Lee and the problem is that the "estate tax" somehow means they owe millions of dollars they can't pay. On the other hand a family forcibly adopts(?) a girl because her dad won't let her date illegal immigrants and also a donkey is implied to be jesus and saves the day.
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Dec 23, 2017 20:09
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I just noticed that this movie is available in 4k but Moana is not. Thanks, Netflix!
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Dec 23, 2017 23:22
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It's not even some side detail. The fact they are Robert E Lee's family is a major plot point and Robert E Lee's gun is important in a bunch of scenes. On the other hand it has the opposite setup as the christmas prince where the dad dies and then leaves the whole family farm to Evie Lee (who you might think has such a weird name to be some sort of pun on naming her "evily" but she's the protagonist and never evil in any way) who left to go to hollywood to have a fake music career instead of her son who worked the farm his whole life. Like the dad just apparently wrote the son out of the will 100% and gave her full control of the farm and him nothing.
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Dec 24, 2017 01:48
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Me and the wife watched today. She almost tapped out it was so bad. The acting is really stiff and the writing is trash. However we were really troubled by the implications of the finale: MEGA SPOILERS Turns out there are THREE ghosts haunting the inn: Daniel the Hunk, Daniel's Cousin who murdered him, and Daniel's Fiancee Lily. Lily is using nameless magic to keep Daniel stuck in this yearly twelve day cycle of renewal because she believes in his capacity to change (he was a bootlegger and lied to her about it). Kate helps Daniel remember how and why he was murdered, he forgives his murderer and apologizes to Lily. Lily says "Great you're free now, come with me to Heaven!" and he says "Nah tho, I want to stay with Kate." and Lily says "k" and lo and behold, Daniel is reborn as a real man now and he runs to Kate to smooch her. This dude doesn't have an SSN, he was a Massachusetts innkeeper/rum runner for his short life, he probably doesn't even have vaccinations. He's going to be ill-equipped to live life in loving BOSTON with Kate now. Also, she can never break up with him now, right? Like, "Hey I'm sorry you gave up heaven with your fiancee to be with me but it's just not working out." I sure hope he doesn't have Prohibition era attitudes about women, black people, gays, etc... We wouldn't know though because there are no POC or LGBTQ characters within twenty miles of this film.
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Dec 24, 2017 15:55
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mary had a little clam posted:Me and the wife watched today. She almost tapped out it was so bad. The acting is really stiff and the writing is trash. However we were really troubled by the implications of the finale: MEGA SPOILERS Turns out there are THREE ghosts haunting the inn: Daniel the Hunk, Daniel's Cousin who murdered him, and Daniel's Fiancee Lily. Lily is using nameless magic to keep Daniel stuck in this yearly twelve day cycle of renewal because she believes in his capacity to change (he was a bootlegger and lied to her about it). Kate helps Daniel remember how and why he was murdered, he forgives his murderer and apologizes to Lily. Lily says "Great you're free now, come with me to Heaven!" and he says "Nah tho, I want to stay with Kate." and Lily says "k" and lo and behold, Daniel is reborn as a real man now and he runs to Kate to smooch her.
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Dec 24, 2017 18:23
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The Directors Cut version of A Christmas Prince is on lifetime right now.
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Dec 24, 2017 19:05
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