MLS Offseason 17/18: Come for the existentialism, stay for the soccer!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > MLS Offseason 17/18: Come for the existentialism, stay for the soccer!

«‹›11 »

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Reince Penis posted:

I'm not sure we should be stealing children from elementary school and forcing them to play soccer but ok

They already have Giovinco though :v:

# ? Feb 23, 2018 15:52

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 6, 2024 16:10

Drunk Canuck: Jan 9, 2010; Robots ruin all the fun of a good adventure.

Leave our superstar child alone.

# ? Feb 23, 2018 21:55

Poonior Toilett: Aug 21, 2004; m'lady

Reince Penis posted:

I'm not sure we should be stealing children from elementary school and forcing them to play soccer but ok

No one complained when we raided the maternity ward for Giovinco

# ? Feb 24, 2018 00:32

Moktaro: Aug 3, 2007; I value call my nuts.

Speaking of kids (which you can't win anything with), the Rapids signed Sam Vines to a homegrown contract. They seem pretty high on him and hell, he's a left back, might as well give him a shot.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 06:42

JayMax: Jun 14, 2007; Hard-nosed gentleman

Impact's latest signing looks like a real winner.

https://www.impactmontreal.com/en/post/2018/02/23/impact-comes-terms-esports-player-lyesmtl

JayMax fucked around with this message at 07:10 on Feb 25, 2018

# ? Feb 25, 2018 07:00

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

I wonder how eMLS players stack up against the rest of the eSoccer world.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 07:09

Poonior Toilett: Aug 21, 2004; m'lady

JayMax posted:

Impact's latest signing looks like a real winner.

https://www.impactmontreal.com/en/post/2018/02/23/impact-comes-terms-esports-player-lyesmtl

He looks like he�ll call me a human being and disconnect the instant I score a goal

# ? Feb 25, 2018 07:45

XBenedict: May 23, 2006; YOUR LIPS SAY 0, BUT YOUR EYES SAY 1.

Jermaine Dildoe posted:

He looks like he�ll call me a human being and disconnect the instant I score a goal

# ? Feb 25, 2018 22:00

Shrapnig: Jan 21, 2005

Apparently Jordan Morris has blown out his knee so get hosed Seattle.

# ? Feb 26, 2018 01:07

shirts and skins: Jun 25, 2007; Good morning!

Shrapnig posted:

Apparently Jordan Morris has blown out his knee so get hosed Seattle.

Dude is pretty devastated so unironically go gently caress yourself.

# ? Feb 26, 2018 01:16

El Jebus: Jun 18, 2008; This avatar is paid for by "Avatars for improving Lowtax's spine by any means that doesn't result in him becoming brain dead by putting his brain into a cyborg body and/or putting him in a exosuit due to fears of the suit being hacked and crushing him during a cyberpunk future timeline" Foundation

Shrapnig posted:

Apparently Jordan Morris has blown out his knee so get hosed Seattle.

shirts and skins posted:

Dude is pretty devastated so unironically go gently caress yourself.

Is it possible to feel two things?

# ? Feb 26, 2018 01:23

binge crotching: Apr 2, 2010

That really sucks for him, and makes me wonder if he'll ever develop into a decent player now. Last year he was terrible and I was hoping he would be better this year. Losing a year of training and games is really going to hurt his development.

# ? Feb 26, 2018 03:03

porkface: Dec 29, 2000

It sucks unequivocally and if you root for your team to win by these means you suck at enjoying sports.

# ? Feb 26, 2018 05:01

tk: Dec 10, 2003; Nap Ghost

That�s too bad I was really looking forward to Morris going back to being fast and not scoring goals instead of just not scoring goals.

# ? Feb 26, 2018 11:55

Your Boy Fancy: Feb 7, 2003; by Cyrano4747

Hey guys

Soccer is on this week

# ? Feb 26, 2018 16:52

Azerban: Oct 28, 2003

was on last week too, for good teams and also colorado

# ? Feb 26, 2018 16:58

Dallan Invictus: Oct 11, 2007; The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes, look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.

Your Boy Fancy posted:

Hey guys

Soccer is on this week

This offseason has felt like a goddamn eternity, I'm so glad we survived without resorting to cannibalism.

# ? Feb 26, 2018 18:43

Your Boy Fancy: Feb 7, 2003; by Cyrano4747

Dallan Invictus posted:

This offseason has felt like a goddamn eternity, I'm so glad we survived without resorting to cannibalism.

Don�t count it out, we might still murder the Screaming Eagles

# ? Feb 26, 2018 19:05

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Here's some #content: Bovada odds of each team to win MLS Cup this season

code:

Toronto FC		3.5 to 1
Atlanta United		8 to 1
Seattle Sounders	8 to 1
Portland Timbers	9 to 1
NYCFC			10 to 1
FC Dallas		16 to 1
LA Galaxy		16 to 1
Houston Dynamo		20 to 1
NY Red Bulls		20 to 1
Chicago Fire		25 to 1
Montreal Impact		25 to 1
Columbus Crew		25 to 1
Sporting Kansas City	25 to 1
Orlando City SC		33 to 1
Vancouver Whitecaps	33 to 1
LAFC			40 to 1
Colorado Rapids		50 to 1
Real Salt Lake		50 to 1
San Jose Earthquakes	50 to 1
DC United		66 to 1
Minnesota United	66 to 1
New England Revolution	66 to 1
Philadelphia		66 to 1

Anti-homerism aside, Timbers seem a wee bit high there (I'd drop them below NYC, but not any lower). Other than that, seems about right.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 09:15

El Jebus: Jun 18, 2008; This avatar is paid for by "Avatars for improving Lowtax's spine by any means that doesn't result in him becoming brain dead by putting his brain into a cyborg body and/or putting him in a exosuit due to fears of the suit being hacked and crushing him during a cyberpunk future timeline" Foundation

whypick1 posted:

Here's some #content: Bovada odds of each team to win MLS Cup this season

code:

Toronto FC		3.5 to 1
Atlanta United		8 to 1
Seattle Sounders	8 to 1
Portland Timbers	9 to 1
NYCFC			10 to 1
FC Dallas		16 to 1
LA Galaxy		16 to 1
Houston Dynamo		20 to 1
NY Red Bulls		20 to 1
Chicago Fire		25 to 1
Montreal Impact		25 to 1
Columbus Crew		25 to 1
Sporting Kansas City	25 to 1
Orlando City SC		33 to 1
Vancouver Whitecaps	33 to 1
LAFC			40 to 1
Colorado Rapids		50 to 1
Real Salt Lake		50 to 1
San Jose Earthquakes	50 to 1
DC United		66 to 1
Minnesota United	66 to 1
New England Revolution	66 to 1
Philadelphia		66 to 1

Anti-homerism aside, Timbers seem a wee bit high there (I'd drop them below NYC, but not any lower). Other than that, seems about right.

As a Timber's fan, I think I agree. I know the preseason games don't really mean anything, but the last one was some pretty abysmal defending. It really looked like every game this season would be a 4 - 3 scoreline.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 17:43

binge crotching: Apr 2, 2010

Shrapnig posted:

Apparently Jordan Morris has blown out his knee so get hosed Seattle.

Officially out for the entire year, they aren't going to try and bring him back until 2019.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 17:46

porkface: Dec 29, 2000

El Jebus posted:

As a Timber's fan, I think I agree. I know the preseason games don't really mean anything, but the last one was some pretty abysmal defending. It really looked like every game this season would be a 4 - 3 scoreline.

Looks like I picked a bad year to cut back on drinking.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 19:39

Gigi Galli: Sep 19, 2003; and then the car turned in to fire

66 to 1, not quite 69 to 1 but I'll take it.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 19:45

El Jebus: Jun 18, 2008; This avatar is paid for by "Avatars for improving Lowtax's spine by any means that doesn't result in him becoming brain dead by putting his brain into a cyborg body and/or putting him in a exosuit due to fears of the suit being hacked and crushing him during a cyberpunk future timeline" Foundation

porkface posted:

Looks like I picked a bad year to cut back on drinking.

They look similar to previous years. When attacking, they can beat anyone. When they have to defend, they could lose to anyone. But again, this was preseason so I�m cautiously pessimistic.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:09

plainswalker75: Feb 22, 2003; Pigs are smarter than Bears, but they can't ride motorcycles; Hair Elf

El Jebus posted:

They look similar to previous years. When attacking, they can beat anyone. When they have to defend, they could lose to anyone. But again, this was preseason so I�m cautiously pessimistic.

I'm not sure we'll post any clean sheets this year, not as long as Ridgewell is a guaranteed starter.

plainswalker75 fucked around with this message at 21:46 on Feb 27, 2018

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:43

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

Philly is bad, aw yeah

# ? Feb 27, 2018 21:52

highme: May 25, 2001; I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

plainswalker75 posted:

I'm not sure we'll post any clean sheets this year, not as long as Ridgewell is a guaranteed starter.

Well, in the unlikely event that Ridgewell is injured for an extended amount of time, Cascante/Mabiala looks like a great CB pairing.

Also, Armenteros is a beast.

# ? Feb 27, 2018 22:33

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Sounders since Kim Kee-Hee, CB out of South Korea, and I'm not going anywhere near the comments on this one because I'm sure it'll be 99% mad that it's not a FW to replace Morris even though this deal was in the works well before he was injured.

Goddamn I hate sports fans.

# ? Feb 28, 2018 03:15

Shrapnig: Jan 21, 2005

His name is silly but it's Seattle so I'm sure there will be a popup restaurant parodying his name within three months and selling kimchi tacos or something.

# ? Feb 28, 2018 03:19

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Ref assignments, lovingly copy-and-pasted from the league's site:

SATURDAY, MARCH 3

Toronto FC vs. Columbus Crew SC
BMO Field (1 pm ET)
REFEREE: ISMAIL ELFATH
AR1: Corey Parker
AR2: Phil Briere
4TH: Sorin Stoica
VAR: Silvia Petrescu

Houston Dynamo vs. Atlanta United
BBVA Compass Stadium (3:30 pm ET)
REFEREE: ALLEN CHAPMAN
AR1: Jeremy Hanson
AR2: Andrew Bigelow
4TH: Armando Villarreal
VAR: Edvin Jurisevic

Philadelphia Union vs. New England Revolution
Talen Energy Stadium (7 pm ET)
REFEREE: RUBIEL VAZQUEZ
AR1: Craig Lowry
AR2: Adam Wienckowski
4TH: Christopher Penso
VAR: Kevin Terry Jr.

Orlando City vs. D.C. United
Orlando City Stadium (7:30 pm ET)
REFEREE: FOTIS BAZAKOS
AR1: Corey Rockwell
AR2: Peter Balciunas
4TH: Marcos Deoliveira
VAR: Geoff Gamble

FC Dallas vs. Real Salt Lake
Toyota Stadium (8 pm ET)
REFEREE: ROBERT SIBIGA
AR1: Jason White
AR2: Eric Weisbrod
4TH: Ted Unkel
VAR: Hilario Grajeda

San Jose Earthquakes vs. Minnesota United
Avaya Stadium (10:30 pm ET)
REFEREE: BALDOMERO TOLEDO
AR1: Cameron Blanchard
AR2: Apolinar Mariscal
4TH: Daniel Radford
VAR: Ricardo Salazar

SUNDAY, MARCH 4

Seattle Sounders vs. LAFC
CenturyLink Field (5 pm ET)
REFEREE: JOSE CARLOS RIVERO
AR1: Brian Poeschel
AR2: Michael Kampmeinert
4TH: Alex Chilowicz
VAR: Timothy Ford

Vancouver Whitecaps vs. Montreal Impact
BC Place (6 pm ET)
REFEREE: DREW FISCHER
AR1: Ian Anderson
AR2: Gianni Facchini
4TH: David Gantar
VAR: Juan Guzman Jr.

Sporting Kansas City vs. New York City FC
Children�s Mercy Park (7:30 pm ET)
REFEREE: MARK GEIGER
AR1: Frank Anderson
AR2: Kyle Atkins
4TH: Nima Saghafi
VAR: Jon Freemon

LA Galaxy vs. Portland Timbers
StubHub Center (10 pm ET)
REFEREE: JAIR MARRUFO
AR1: Eduardo Mariscal
AR2: Jeffrey Greeson
4TH: Alejandro Mariscal
VAR: Kevin Stott

# ? Feb 28, 2018 04:40

Nostradingus: Jul 13, 2009

How the gently caress is marrufo still reffing? Do we really have no better options? Can we not just pull a kid from the stands instead

# ? Feb 28, 2018 06:41

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Oh geez, I just saw that Salazar is the VAR for a game Toledo is reffing. That ought to be...fun...

# ? Feb 28, 2018 07:07

Bio-Hazard: Mar 8, 2004; I HATE POLITICS IN SOCCER AS MUCH AS I LOVE RACISM IN SOCCER

Jair is a FIFA, so good luck removing him from MLS. Rest assured he will probably have international duties that will limit his MLS games.

Ricardo and Baldo are known quantities. At least you know that you'll get one or two yellows for no reason and a missed red.

Rubiel Vasquez is a newer referee, I think. Worth watching.

Bio-Hazard fucked around with this message at 07:23 on Feb 28, 2018

# ? Feb 28, 2018 07:21

XBenedict: May 23, 2006; YOUR LIPS SAY 0, BUT YOUR EYES SAY 1.

Bio-Hazard posted:

Rubiel Vasquez is a newer referee, I think. Worth watching.

MLS 2018: Refereeing Worth Watching

# ? Mar 1, 2018 15:55

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Someone make the regular season thread already.

# ? Mar 2, 2018 03:04

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

whypick1 posted:

Someone make the regular season thread already.

Hoover Dam has literally made every regular season MLS non-GDT in TRP history, so I'm waiting until tomorrow to do anything. She's pretty reliable.

# ? Mar 2, 2018 03:13

Hoover Dam: Jun 17, 2003; red white and blue forever

Edward Mass posted:

Hoover Dam has literally made every regular season MLS non-GDT in TRP history, so I'm waiting until tomorrow to do anything. She's pretty reliable.

It�ll be up tonight, friends.

# ? Mar 2, 2018 17:01

highme: May 25, 2001; I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

Thanks friend.

# ? Mar 2, 2018 17:53

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

DAZN is going to be ESPN+�s counterpart in Canada for OTT streaming.

# ? Mar 2, 2018 21:37

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 6, 2024 16:10

Dallan Invictus: Oct 11, 2007; The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes, look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.

Edward Mass posted:

DAZN is going to be ESPN+�s counterpart in Canada for OTT streaming.

More expensive than ESPN+ is or Live was, but it offers a shitload more in the package so I'm okay with this.

Also, an endless parade of sources is saying that NYRB and Vancouver are finally going to complete that Felipe-and-a-bunch-of-Garberbucks for Tim Parker deal. Parker's contract was expiring at the end of the season and he turned down what seemed like a pretty good deal to extend, but it looks like we got a pretty solid return from him so I'm happy to wish him luck for his hometown team.

edit: yep, 500k and an international slot, plus Felipe. Honestly it feels like RBNY overpaid but I'm not gonna complain.

Dallan Invictus fucked around with this message at 22:19 on Mar 2, 2018

# ? Mar 2, 2018 21:58

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > MLS Offseason 17/18: Come for the existentialism, stay for the soccer!

«‹›11 »