MLS Offseason 17/18: Come for the existentialism, stay for the soccer!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > MLS Offseason 17/18: Come for the existentialism, stay for the soccer!

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bewbies: Sep 23, 2003; Fun Shoe

man that is a whole lot of fake MLS money

# ? Dec 13, 2017 19:09

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# ? May 6, 2024 11:59

highme: May 25, 2001; I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

bewbies posted:

man that is a whole lot of fake MLS money

A third of it is in likely unreachable incentive bonuses. Like if he's ~~the league MVP~~ in the top 3 for goals & assists in a season, and they win the MLS Cup Timbers get $250k worth of MLS magic beans. Regardless, a $1mil Garber bucks plus the increase in TAM this year has me hoping Gavin's South American contacts have more Valeris and less Melanos lined up for us.

Not mentioned in that (and things might have changed since early reports because I just got out of a 2 hour worthless meeting), is that Atlanta is also taking Gbenga Arokoyo and writing off his salary. Which will enable the Timbers to do whatever it is that allows them to right off Chance Myers & his salary without a cap hit. Which kinda sucks because Arokoyo was a young CB that looked like he'd be a good fit until he snapped his Achilles in the first couple of days of training last year.

edit: Fixed the incentive bit, they get $125k if he's MVP.

highme fucked around with this message at 19:29 on Dec 13, 2017

# ? Dec 13, 2017 19:20

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

In case anyone cares, there was Yet Another Draft today (Waiver). Colorado took Kip Colvey (who?) from San Jose, Montreal took Clement Diop (lol) from LA.

# ? Dec 14, 2017 01:20

camoseven: Dec 30, 2005; RODOLPHONE RINGIN'

Kip Colvey plays for the New Zealand national team, have some respect

# ? Dec 14, 2017 02:46

TheBoyBlunder: Jul 3, 2004; Anyone else have the munchies?

Rapids sent a 2019 4th round conditional pick to Galaxy for Jack McBean. link

Not sure how excited I should be. :geno:

Meanwhile FutbolerosTV MX confirmed on Facebook (yes super official :allears:

) Edgar Castillo is now a Rapid. One hour previously they said he was going to Juarez. Not gonna buy it until it�s more widely reported.

# ? Dec 15, 2017 01:06

B.B. Rodriguez: Aug 8, 2005; Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

TheBoyBlunder posted:

Rapids sent a 2019 4th round conditional pick to Galaxy for Jack McBean. link

Not sure how excited I should be.

Meanwhile FutbolerosTV MX confirmed on Facebook (yes super official ) Edgar Castillo is now a Rapid. One hour previously they said he was going to Juarez. Not gonna buy it until it’s more widely reported.

You want a younger, better Alan Gordon? You got him.

Treat him right you fuckers. He's my favorite player.

# ? Dec 15, 2017 03:33

Eelface: Jul 23, 2002

Bingham to Galaxy is a good move for him. He is a good person, but had a poo poo year and his dad complaining online sure didn't help him to stay here.

# ? Dec 15, 2017 23:07

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Jesus, there was another draft today?

Mike Grella to Columbus by way of Colorado, Tyrone Mears to Minnesota.

# ? Dec 16, 2017 04:09

Dallan Invictus: Oct 11, 2007; The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes, look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.

Eelface posted:

Bingham to Galaxy is a good move for him. He is a good person, but had a poo poo year and his dad complaining online sure didn't help him to stay here.

Send all overbearing athlete dads and their sons to Los Angeles, IMO.

# ? Dec 16, 2017 05:47

Moktaro: Aug 3, 2007; I value call my nuts.

Jack2142 posted:

I am legitimately confused why Tyler Miller was picked... but apparently he went to the same College as LAFC's GM so?

Overall I think these picks were exponentially better than Minnesota's or Atlanta's.

Also LAFC is apparently flipping Raheem for Ciman (I assume the worst player on the Belgium National Team).

https://twitter.com/SoccerByIves/status/940683972811608064

-Edit-
Apparently

https://twitter.com/JeffreyCarlisle/status/940696989544706053

So Montral just fixed their fullback problems in exchange for creating a center-back problem?

I think good fullbacks are more valuable due to scarcity.

# ? Dec 18, 2017 20:02

Moktaro: Aug 3, 2007; I value call my nuts.

B.B. Rodriguez posted:

You want a younger, better Alan Gordon? You got him.

Treat him right you fuckers. He's my favorite player.

Yeah a 4th round conditional pick is basically worthless, I like the deal even if he ends up failing. If he can do proper CF work with Bajii, at least we'll be less boring.

# ? Dec 18, 2017 20:08

Syrinxx: Mar 28, 2002; Death is whimsical today

Bingham to the Galaxy. Not sure how to feel about this, but I suppose Tarbell could be a starter...

# ? Dec 18, 2017 22:18

Dallan Invictus: Oct 11, 2007; The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes, look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.

CCL draw was tonight

Highlights:

Toronto and Colorado drew each other in the R16, neither side is happy about it, chances of at least one leg getting snowed out are Too drat High.

QFs will most likely ALL be MX vs. MLS barring a comedy Round of 16 upset.

Seattle and NYR drew the vastly easier side of the bracket.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 04:26

ZHamburglar: Aug 24, 2006; I have a penis.

Does Champions League not have group stages anymore?

# ? Dec 19, 2017 05:22

trem_two: Oct 22, 2002; it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals; Fun Shoe

The one year time lag for MLS teams to qualify is so jarring - Colorado making it based on regular season performance is pretty hilarious considering the most recent regular season they had.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 05:26

B.B. Rodriguez: Aug 8, 2005; Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

Moktaro posted:

Yeah a 4th round conditional pick is basically worthless, I like the deal even if he ends up failing. If he can do proper CF work with Bajii, at least we'll be less boring.

As I've said since the kid was 16:
He will never beat someone with pace, or do Ronaldo-levels or step-overs. What he will do is fight for 90 minutes, soak up elbows, magically get the ball to stick to him like he has glue on his shoes, and hold the ball with his back to goal until the heat-death of the universe. And then he'll make the perfect through ball that his teammate will inevitably gently caress up.

If you use him as a Target Man, he is an 8g, 12a striker in this league without even trying. In Colorado, with the altitude loving with the opposition? Maybe more.

Please do not think he will be Nicola Lodeiro, or a prolific attacking mid. Don't expect him to be Dominic Oduro. He is Brian Ching and Brian McBride with better technical skills and less heading.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 05:29

Dallan Invictus: Oct 11, 2007; The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes, look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.

ZHamburglar posted:

Does Champions League not have group stages anymore?

No, the redesign removed them. TBF, not gonna miss three team groups.

trem_two posted:

The one year time lag for MLS teams to qualify is so jarring - Colorado making it based on regular season performance is pretty hilarious considering the most recent regular season they had.

The redesign removed THEM too: starting from the 2018 season MLS qualifiers will now qualify for the CL that starts two months after the season they qualified in. SKC this year will be the last team that has to wait a year, because of the transition period.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 05:56

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

trem_two posted:

The one year time lag for MLS teams to qualify is so jarring - Colorado making it based on regular season performance is pretty hilarious considering the most recent regular season they had.

Watch as they somehow win the whole loving thing.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 05:59

Moktaro: Aug 3, 2007; I value call my nuts.

B.B. Rodriguez posted:

As I've said since the kid was 16:
He will never beat someone with pace, or do Ronaldo-levels or step-overs. What he will do is fight for 90 minutes, soak up elbows, magically get the ball to stick to him like he has glue on his shoes, and hold the ball with his back to goal until the heat-death of the universe. And then he'll make the perfect through ball that his teammate will inevitably gently caress up.

If you use him as a Target Man, he is an 8g, 12a striker in this league without even trying. In Colorado, with the altitude loving with the opposition? Maybe more.

Please do not think he will be Nicola Lodeiro, or a prolific attacking mid. Don't expect him to be Dominic Oduro. He is Brian Ching and Brian McBride with better technical skills and less heading.

Which is something we desperately need, so :cool:

Dallan Invictus posted:

CCL draw was tonight

Highlights:

Toronto and Colorado drew each other in the R16, neither side is happy about it, chances of at least one leg getting snowed out are Too drat High.

QFs will most likely ALL be MX vs. MLS barring a comedy Round of 16 upset.

Seattle and NYR drew the vastly easier side of the bracket.

Don't be silly, the New York Rangers will forfeit both legs due to excess red cards for cross-checking.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 06:02

B.B. Rodriguez: Aug 8, 2005; Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

Moktaro posted:

Which is something we desperately need, so

So do we which is why I'm salty as gently caress about it.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 06:11

Nostradingus: Jul 13, 2009

To no one's surprise, Nashville looks like they're gonna be one of the two expansion sides.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 17:21

camoseven: Dec 30, 2005; RODOLPHONE RINGIN'

That�s so stupid, it should have been Cincy and Sacramento.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 17:26

Jack2142: Jul 17, 2014; Shitposting in Seattle

camoseven posted:

That�s so stupid, it should have been Cincy and Sacramento.

Once I saw the Nashville funding package... I knew they were going in.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 17:40

Seltzer: Oct 11, 2012; Ask me about Game Pass: the Best Deal in Gaming!

So when is MLS east, north, west, and south happening

# ? Dec 19, 2017 17:43

Your Boy Fancy: Feb 7, 2003; by Cyrano4747

So as a shock to no one, MLS is refusing to let DC go on a nearly-half-season road trip to get a full slate of Audi games, so there�s a very real chance DC will have multiple home games at RFK anyway.

I�m all about this.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 17:51

camoseven: Dec 30, 2005; RODOLPHONE RINGIN'

Your Boy Fancy posted:

So as a shock to no one, MLS is refusing to let DC go on a nearly-half-season road trip to get a full slate of Audi games, so there�s a very real chance DC will have multiple home games at RFK anyway.

I�m all about this.

Every article I�ve read has said the chance of RFK games is 0%, and that they are looking at stadiums outside of DC. I�m hoping for a game at Camden Yards, personally.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 17:57

Syrinxx: Mar 28, 2002; Death is whimsical today

Cool looking forward to Nashville United FC and Sacramento United FC

# ? Dec 19, 2017 17:58

Nostradingus: Jul 13, 2009

camoseven posted:

Every article I’ve read has said the chance of RFK games is 0%, and that they are looking at stadiums outside of DC. I’m hoping for a game at Camden Yards, personally.

Half empty FedEx field surely

# ? Dec 19, 2017 18:00

camoseven: Dec 30, 2005; RODOLPHONE RINGIN'

Nostradingus posted:

Half empty FedEx field surely

Your assumption that DCU could even fill half of FedEx is quite generous

# ? Dec 19, 2017 18:07

Jovial Cow: Sep 7, 2006; inherently good

Reposting this from the hockey thread:

Rotten Cookies posted:

https://twitter.com/soshnick/status/943164424617111552?s=17

It's_Happening.gif

Good for the isles. NYCFC should move in with NYRB giants/jets style, but I know that kills the whole �New Jersey Red Bull�s� chant they love.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 18:34

whypick1: Dec 18, 2009; Just another jackass on the Internet

Jovial Cow posted:

Reposting this from the hockey thread:

Good for the isles. NYCFC should move in with NYRB giants/jets style, but I know that kills the whole �New Jersey Red Bull�s� chant they love.

They should still move into to RBA so that NYCFC can be the Chivas to NYRB's Galaxy.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 18:42

TwoStepBoog: Apr 12, 2008

https://twitter.com/jwilliamscincy/status/943183040213344257

just do three teams, jfc

TwoStepBoog fucked around with this message at 19:45 on Dec 19, 2017

# ? Dec 19, 2017 19:32

Syrinxx: Mar 28, 2002; Death is whimsical today

Not really surprising considering Cinci has higher average attendance than like 60% of MLS teams

# ? Dec 19, 2017 19:46

binge crotching: Apr 2, 2010

Syrinxx posted:

Not really surprising considering Cinci has higher average attendance than like 60% of MLS teams

Move Columbus to Cinci?

# ? Dec 19, 2017 19:52

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Nashville over Sacramento good loving lord

So basically there's minimal to no incentive to take the actual time to get a strong organization up and running.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 20:03

binge crotching: Apr 2, 2010

Crazy Ted posted:

Nashville over Sacramento good loving lord

So basically there's minimal to no incentive to take the actual time to get a strong organization up and running.

Welcome to MLS

# ? Dec 19, 2017 20:19

camoseven: Dec 30, 2005; RODOLPHONE RINGIN'

This seems like it would hurt USL, since one of their main appeals is that they are a gateway to MLS, but with NASL in its death throes it probably won't make any difference. God bless the USSF :911:

# ? Dec 19, 2017 20:21

Tigren: Oct 3, 2003

Crazy Ted posted:

Nashville over Sacramento good loving lord

So basically there's minimal to no incentive to take the actual time to get a strong organization up and running.

Get a strong organization up and running not in the armpit of California. Problem solved.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 20:25

TwoStepBoog: Apr 12, 2008

also, these are out

https://twitter.com/MLS/status/943194572460523521

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:27

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# ? May 6, 2024 11:59

XBenedict: May 23, 2006; YOUR LIPS SAY 0, BUT YOUR EYES SAY 1.

Crazy Ted posted:

Nashville over Sacramento good loving lord

So basically there's minimal to no incentive to take the actual time to get a strong organization up and running.

Why not have all the MLS teams in Califormia? Can't wait to see that Bakersfield - Fresno rivalry heat the gently caress up.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 21:54

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Ray Parlour > MLS Offseason 17/18: Come for the existentialism, stay for the soccer!

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